To be with someone you don't love. How to live with an unloved husband

I don't know if I love my husband?

And bright feelings go away, relationships between partners change, conflicts begin to arise more often.

In such a situation, it is difficult to understand whether love has remained between you or whether you together just out of habit.

If you want to understand, then try asking yourself a few questions:

Are you happy? If you close your attention to some trifles, discard conflicts and listen to yourself, then how will you answer this question? Not when you move into a bigger apartment / husband changes jobs / you have a baby, but right here and now you are happy?
Are you ready to work on relationships? It is no secret that a happy marriage is the work of partners on themselves and on relationships. Do you want to make an effort to get out of a crisis situation? And why haven't you started doing it yet?
Is there something about your partner that you don't accept in a relationship? He may be abusing alcohol, not working, or even hitting you. It happens that it opens only after a few years of marriage. If you don't like it, why are you putting up with it?
Why did you start dating and getting married? Maybe there just wasn’t a suitable pair nearby, and then it somehow started spinning? Or did your relatives constantly press on you? Or are you terrified?
If your partner asks you to break up, how will you feel? Just be honest with yourself. Will you be unhappy? Get upset? Or feel relieved?

These questions must be answered sincerely. Don't lie to yourself. And then you will understand whether you really fell out of love with your spouse or just you, which is worth working on.

I don't love my husband. What to do? Find out from the video:

What are the reasons for the fading of feelings in marriage?

, Romance is over and life is back.

A man no longer strives to surprise and conquer a woman, because she is already his.

And the woman does not have enough attention, but she has a lot of housework, and she herself forgets to charm her man.

Gradually, the spouses begin less time together, less interest in each other practically do not communicate. Relations cool, the gap between them is growing.

Perhaps the man just wants to shield the chosen one from his problems. And a woman is faced with indifference or misunderstanding when she herself begins to talk about something.

The main reason for the fading of feelings is the lack of dialogue between spouses and the unwillingness to work on relationships.

Don't wait for everything to work itself out somehow. If you ignore the problem, then sooner or later a serious conflict will arise. It is better to immediately discuss emerging problems and misunderstandings.

The psychology of such relationships

It often happens that for some reason a family is either formed without love, or is forced to continue its existence without it.

Psychologists distinguish two types of such relationships:

former feelings turned into alienation and indifference. Often you can observe mutual reproaches, resentment and showdown. Everyone is for himself and lives his own life. Perhaps there is even a rude attitude or betrayal. Spouses are not comfortable in each other's company;
the feeling of love left the couple, but grew into respect and mutual understanding. They do not have strong feelings for each other, but they can live together further, being interested in each other and communicating. The partner is still comfortable with each other.

I don't want my man! Reasons and what to do about it? Psychotherapy:

Marriage without love from the point of view of psychologists

Sometimes it happens that a marital union created without a feeling of love at all.

For example, a girl unplannedly became pregnant or put pressure on her spouse. Or the man proposed, and the girl agreed because of the fear of loneliness.

It also happens that a girl just sees for herself profitable future, because her fiancé does not suffer from poverty. Or a young man proposes because everyone around says that it's time to cool down.

From the point of view of psychology, marriage is not for love, but because "it's time" or "it's necessary" usually leads to disappointment.

Without mutual feelings, it is difficult to conduct a dialogue with a partner, sort out relationships and deal with everyday life.

Girls often think that the spouse will not go anywhere and you can twirl them as you like.

Young people feel the loss of freedom, such relationships oppress them. Therefore, life together takes place in constant oppression, until one of the spouses decides to leave.

Is it possible to live in marriage without loving?

Why is it impossible to live without love? Without love in marriage between partners, alienation and unwillingness to compromise are most often observed. From here constant quarrels and conflicts. Who would like such a life?

But you can live without love in marriage only if you feel respect for your partner and are ready to be with him no matter what.

Is it possible to love a second time?

It doesn't matter how many years you've been together, always you can rekindle the relationship and again.

This can happen as a result of your joint work on relationships or someone else's initiative.

For example, a husband will devote more time to his wife and arrange pleasant surprises.

The wife will begin to better monitor her appearance, stop reproaching her husband and be offended for no reason. And then between you again love will flare up.

How to attract love into your life? you will find on our website.

Marry without love? Can you fall in love with your husband after marriage? Find out from the video:

What to do to return feelings?

How to love your husband or wife again? If you don't want to give up and are determined to bring love back into your relationship, then try the following:

Often you can observe such situations that there is no love left, but you need to live together.

What to do in this case? How to learn to live without love:

firstly, try not to breed empty quarrels. Who needs it? Constant showdowns will only spoil the mood for everyone. Therefore, before starting another conversation with a claim, it is worth thinking several times: is it worth it?
Secondly, treat your partner with respect. Be that as it may, but once upon a time he meant a lot to you, didn’t he?
third, talk to your spouse. For cleanliness. Explain everything as it is. It will be better if even in such a situation you are honest. Think together about how you can move on and avoid uncomfortable situations. This will also help avoid scandals in the future;
fourth, show understanding. You may have fallen out of love with your spouse, but he could still have feelings? Do not play with them in any case;
fifth, don't try to hurt someone on purpose and do not provoke him to make a decision to end the relationship. It happens that one of the spouses does not want to take responsibility and tries to make the partner break off the relationship.
Decide for yourself whether you want to live with this person. If not, then find the strength in yourself to finish it all.

Is it worth living in an unhappy marriage for the sake of children? Psychologist's opinion:

When should you decide to leave?

If you still couldn’t understand whether it’s a habit, pity for a partner, or feelings just subsided for a while, then difficult to break up.

Therefore, to begin with, you need to understand yourself.

Do you feel like a stranger is next to you? Your partner does not cause any pleasant emotions and when you think about it, you are covered with a wave of negativity?

And most importantly, are you uncomfortable around this person? Well, in such a situation, it makes sense to leave the family. Perhaps both you and your spouse will be able to find a new happy relationship in the future.

In any case, you do not need to leave, slamming the door loudly. Show respect for the person you once loved. Explain the reason for such a change in your attitude towards him.

If at least a little pleasant remains, then maybe you should work on relationships and save your family?

When the thought "I don't love my spouse" gets more and more insistent in your head, this is a wake up call. You will have to delve into yourself a lot, talk with a partner and understand already whether you see a future with this person or not.

10 signs that it's time for you to break up:

There are things in the world that really surprise me.. My friend lives with a guy she doesn't love... Out of pity... I don't blame her, but it's not easy for me to understand her...

You can't live with the ones you don't love.
It is dangerous to live with the unloved.
After all, along the lie of the tip, sliding,
You get hurt, and in vain
You will then blame the sky
In what hurts you, and in blood
you will sprinkle someone else's thread,
What connected you not with you ...
And so through the ages
Wandering women and men
Past... life... flows... a river...
different effects of the same cause.

This amazing poem was written by Lyudmila Yachmeneva...

What pushes women into marriage with an unloved man? If we talk about external reasons, then the answer is obvious: firstly, the instinctive need to create a family and give birth to a child. No matter how highly organized we are, instincts have power over us, and therefore nature sometimes “requires” procreation.

Not every woman manages to "agree" with this requirement. But love has not yet happened or failed, another has not come for it. And if a woman is already under 30 or over 30, then she often begins to think that maybe nothing is worth waiting for at all. As a rule, the one who is in love with a woman and seeks her, or the one who considers her just suitable, and strong feelings are optional, falls into the role of a candidate for husbands.

Medicine has long proven that women who, for whatever reason, have to live with unloved person, sooner or later get a whole bunch of diseases. All of them belong to the category of psychosomatic: hypertension, stomach ulcers, bronchial asthma...
It is difficult to imagine a person who wants to go through life with an unloved man or an unloved woman (marriages of convenience do not count). But here's the paradox: situations when it turns out to be not the most expensive person, but “friend or foe” person, are found all the time. And it doesn’t matter how it all began - with delusion, passion or love - if the bottom line is only a bitter aftertaste of the words “not mine”.

Top 5 reasons why we don't leave the ones we don't love

1. Self-doubt

2. Unwillingness or inability to solve everyday problems

A lot of questions arise during a divorce: from where to live, ending with the redrawing of the budget and the division of property. The financial dependence is especially painful for housewives with small children, who cannot count on a large share of the property or the help of loved ones. However, any transition down the social and property ladder is a big blow to pride. It is always easier for passive people with the psychology of a dependent to remain silent and endure family troubles.

3. Guilt and pity

The calm nature of the spouse, his forgiveness and boundless love may well become a reason for self-flagellation like "He (she) is an angel, and I am a heartless bastard." True, over time, even boundless love can cause dull irritation if it is associated with scandals. And if men more often feel guilty before their wife, parents or children, then women are more inclined to feel sorry only for their partner and present him as weaker than he really is.

4. Dependence on public opinion

The word "lonely" in our society is akin to the stigma of a loser. Therefore, it is not surprising that many marriages do not break up only because of the opinion of the mythical "Marya Alekseevna" - a hundred-headed monster with heads in the form of relatives, colleagues, friends and gossips under the porch. At this point, everyone chooses for himself what is best: to maintain the deceptive image of a happy family man or to start creating it from scratch.

5. Common children

Children usually have a hard time breaking up mom and dad. But, having matured, they often reproach the parents who pulled the hateful strap of marriage precisely because they did not divorce on time. Staying with an unloved person just for the sake of a child is wrong. Children perfectly feel the depth of the abyss between parents, get a distorted picture family values and, in addition, later they may feel guilty about their unfinished fate.

It happens that, having lived a couple of years in a happy marriage, a woman discovers that her husband has become indifferent to her and is not interested either as a man or as a friend. What's this?

Crisis stage of family life. to be experienced? Or is love really gone? In any case, you need to understand yourself, because living with an unloved husband is hard, this can provoke an intrapersonal conflict that will be difficult to fight.

After two or three years of marriage, the relationship between spouses changes. Passion, vivid emotions gradually disappear, completely different feelings come in their place. This surprises and frightens many girls, they begin to think that they have fallen out of love with their spouse. In fact, this is not so, it’s just that love has acquired a different quality, and you need to accept that now your relationship has become stronger and calmer.

There are situations when a woman really stopped loving her husband. The reason for this could be resentment and disappointment. This happens in the family after the birth of a child. Cooling rarely happens on its own. And here the question arises: is it possible to live with an unloved husband? You can live for some time without feeling any feelings for your partner.

True, this situation is often complicated by the fact that a woman does not want to have sex with a stranger who has become her. This provokes quarrels, misunderstandings and conflicts. Sometimes indifference is replaced by irritation and even hatred. This is where mental throwing begins, developing into an intrapersonal conflict. Women often cannot make a choice: save their family at any cost or leave. And sometimes the cause of internal discord is a misunderstanding of whether there are at least some feelings towards the spouse. Maybe the cooling happened only temporarily?

There is an easy way to check if you still love your spouse. Imagine that he has another woman. What do you feel about it? Or imagine that he left forever for a distant country. Do you want to drop everything and follow him? If you are ready to fight for your husband, to run after him to the ends of the earth, then most likely your relationship has not fully exhausted itself. If you don't care, then love is gone.

When answering this question, people tend to take one of two extreme positions. The first sounds like this: "This is your fate, be patient." Adherents of the second point of view urge a woman not to waste her life, not torturing herself and another person and break off relationships.

Both are not easy to do. There are situations when a spouse is both gentle and caring, but still there is no love. And to leave him means to inflict a serious injury on a person, to offend and offend. How to proceed? First you need to analyze your feelings. If you are still together, what binds you? Maybe you are afraid of the impact of divorce on children. Or does your spouse provide for you, are you used to living in comfort and security and do not want to lose such a comfortable life?

Or maybe you still retain gratitude and respect, even if these feelings are hidden for the time being in the hidden corners of your soul? Or is the family for you a cure for boredom and loneliness? If you sincerely answer these questions for yourself, it will be easier for you to make a choice. View your relationship from the perspective of your global life plans. Think about whether the family, as it is, will help to realize your main dreams? From this point of view and try to make a decision. Emotions, conflicts are unlikely to help you. Before making a choice, you need to stop the scandals in the family. if they are, take a breather, perhaps leave for a while, if circumstances permit. Probably, in separation, it will be easier for you to understand yourself and your feelings.

And finally, the easiest way to understand how to live with an unloved husband. If, in spite of everything, you have maintained a trusting relationship with your spouse, then you should just sit down and talk heart to heart. It may not be possible to talk about love, but it should become easier for you. Tell him in a soft way what you feel, do not be afraid to offend him.

Your incomprehensible cooling and detachment, which you do not explain in any way, cause much more pain. Think together if you can somehow change the situation. Most importantly, do not blame your chosen one, just

discuss your feelings with him. This will definitely help. To take life important decision requires personal maturity. You need to stop feeling dependent on circumstances and the opinions of other people. You will need to increase your self-confidence. grow up and take responsibility for your actions. And then you will see that there is no right or wrong choice. There is only a solution, thanks to which peace will come to your soul, even if it is associated with difficulties.

My advice: Remember the saying "Love your neighbor as yourself" We are loved exactly as much as we love ourselves. Happiness can only be given by those who force themselves to be happy. After all, it does not depend on anything. I opened my eyes in the morning, thank God for everything I have, for the opportunity to live another wonderful day in this world! To begin with, to expel all resentment from the soul, nothing can be worse, resentment is the worm that sharpens and destroys a person from the inside. Following the resentment, anger, irritation, hatred will settle in the soul. You can change someone only through yourself, and the hardest work is work on yourself. The people around us are a reflection of ourselves, our shortcomings. We just need to learn to see it! If God wants to make us happy, he leads us on the most difficult path, simply because otherwise we would not appreciate what comes into our lives.
Having lived with my husband for nine years, I corrected the most important flaw in myself - resentment. I was offended so often, I was a step away from a psychiatric hospital, the thought of tightening the noose around my neck, yes. what to remember was not easy. I spent a year of my life to learn to forgive and forget, I patiently wait until my husband matures before a divorce, so that they let each other go with kindness. Everything in my life magically began to change, along with how I changed myself, I forced myself to fall in love with myself and be happy every day no matter what!

6 years married. used to love each other. Now we quarrel 7 times a day. I would love to get a divorce, but I have nowhere to go. bad relationship with mom. Otherwise, I always think that she is completely to blame. I'm afraid to ask myself this question. all of a sudden i really love it. It’s not that he doesn’t love me, I’m disgusted with him, he criticizes my every step. I find it easier to hate him. if I let these feelings come, he can hurt me every day

I have been living with my husband for 15 years. There are two kids. For the last five years I have not lived but exist. He had never indulged in attention before, and now he does not notice at all. Never just hugged or kissed. Sex 1-2 times a month. And I'm always the initiator. He refuses me many times. This topic has already been discussed a million times. He always has some excuses, wants to sleep at night, hurries to work in the morning. She offered to get a divorce, but she didn't want to. I don't understand what is the reason. I'm 32. he's 34. like appearance I'm fine, I'm taking care of myself. Sometimes even unknown men. nice attention on the street. I don't know how to live like this...

I am 60 years old, lived with my husband for 36 years. Children - 4. 3rd created families. The youngest is studying at an architectural institute. I'm scared. I am indifferent to my husband, I realized that I live with an unloved man. In retirement, I work as a designer. I like work. I try to do more of what I love. He annoys me. I see a void ahead. Children and grandchildren live separately. No matter what I do, he thinks I'm stupid. Although I like to read and travel. In all these 36 years he has not read a single book, but he has a good ear. We don't understand each other at all. We haven't had sex for a long time. I'm even ashamed. Him diabetes. I feel sorry for him. Over the years, we just got used to each other.

I also had this problem in my life, but I managed it. True, it took 4 years of life! But recently I came across this article. I read it and realized that I really did a lot wrong. We must live for ourselves.

From my own experience I know that it is quite possible to live normally with an unloved person. Only now this understanding came to me late. She was young and when she fell out of love with her first husband, she did not prevaricate and divorced. After a while, she married a second time without great love, but simply to be secure. And I've been doing great for 16 years. The question is - well, why did I spend my feelings and nerves for the first time on a person whom I then hated?

Thank you very much for the informative and positive article, we all probably face such problems throughout life together. It seems that the feelings are gone, and the spouse has become a stranger, but around the corner a brighter feeling awaits us. But as the statistics show, few people are “in wait” for happiness and joy behind that turn. So is it necessary to strive for that turn? After all, this is to injure our beloved halves, our children, and ourselves, no less. Isn't it better to try to improve relations in your own family, because family life– it is always work and creation!

Vika is very far She got married and moved to another country. He is 10 years older. He likes. Me not. I thought there would be some kind of mutual respect, but I can’t respect it, because. he constantly makes false promises, but does not keep them. Only eats, sleeps and crawls into bed. What is the respect? He himself is retired, so it’s generally possible to go crazy. Endlessly at home. I hate him. Say, you need to get a divorce, but now the situation is such that I can do it only after a while. That's what I endure. I cry all the time. Sometimes fate drives us into such a corner that we don’t know how to get out.

Lisa Moscow We have been living for 15 years, we are married. Marriage without love, it was just time. But on the whole they lived well, one might even say well. But she never loved him. It's just that everything was not up to that, the child grew up, they changed their place of residence, other everyday problems. But the feeling that this was not my person did not leave, I hoped that everything would be settled, settled down. He is not bad, does not drink, does not beat, does not offend, helps around the house. Yes, and after sex, everything seems to be getting better in my head for a long time .. But how hard it is! It’s hard because she herself is to blame, and the child has nothing to do with it. Daughter is a copy of dad, how can I change something? How dare I? Here I live with the unloved. I began to drink slowly, it seems to be easier. At times it is generally good, everything is quiet and calm. And when I think that this is forever, so at least climb into the loop. If it were possible to remove emotional sensitivity like appendicitis, I would remove it. And I would live on with him, He is not to blame for anything.

Lyolik Land What is love? The instinctive program of an abeziano like a person has been fulfilled (they got fucked up, they gave birth to children), it's time to change the blood and a new one. Such is the law of nature. So more likely that your offspring will survive. The concept of "love" is a means of manipulating people. And in this case, the author of the article (a feminist) uses this concept to promote her crazy ideas to the masses. I wish all the women who do not love their caring husbands the most severe financial crisis and dorks who are not able to give them care.

Anna Kyiv They loved each other very much. Children were born early, they fluttered out of the house right after school, live in another country. The house was built ... Everything should be fine. But, somehow, after 40, my husband became irritable. I feel that I annoy him too. Without squatting, all the time, he cooks something, cleans up in the yard, plants plants, feeds the household .. That is, he fusses in every possible way. Many will say, fool, rejoice. But there is no joy and joint pastime. On vacation separately .... Weekends - he is on the farm, in worries. What about talking? He is silent for days, or he is trying to convey the news from Facebook to me. The TV was moved from the bedroom, so he moved after the TV to the first floor. I didn't have sex for I don't remember how many months. And I don’t want anything anymore. I can’t get out of depression. I used to try to stir him up, to go somewhere together, to go to the gym together. He says I don't want to. Then I myself began to go to the gym and go to the mountains. And he doesn't care where I am or what. I call, let's go together, because small children do not cry .... And we are only 43. Next to him and a woman, I stopped considering myself. Hands dropped. Loneliness.

Angela Chelyabinsk I've been indigestible all my life. my husband, I did not leave out of love, out of stupidity, and I have been putting up with him for 30 years. He is unbearable, ate like a hog, stopped looking after himself .. every day he drinks 4-5 liters of beer and says that it’s hard for him to walk. He doesn’t like me either, but youngest daughter only in the 8th grade, that's how we live, we constantly swear Is this a family. Read more: http://www..nsf/publicall/2010-04-06-511635.html

Andrey Yekaterinburg I read the article and the comments of women. Once again I was convinced that it’s not worth living for a woman and doing something for her, in response you will hear “I hate you” wherever you look, where you don’t spit everywhere the holy queens. No, I don’t want marriage, relationships too, I don’t believe in it in the modern world. I am divorced, raising 3 children, two twin daughters of 10 years old and a son of 5 years old. My ex-wife drove off to Moscow with her lover, leaving me children (for which I am grateful to her), tired of the family, but less than two years later she began to ask to return, but only time has passed, let her continue to "rest". I live with my children, and I don’t want more relationships, I’ve had enough, and I don’t want to force my children to call their aunt someone else’s mother, but there is no more mother for them. The ex-wife is still begging for forgiveness and a second chance. Hatred of her husband and fatigue from the family, royal ladies, you would have had my childhood in an orphanage and youth at 90 in Chechnya, they would have sung differently and prayed for my husband. You just snickered and do not know what it means to love and what a family is.

Nadezhda Yekaterinburg My dear friends in misfortune. Here I was always cheerful and groovy, we met, spun and foolishly signed, pregnancy and everything, as it was cut off from him, I hate everything about him, I am very unhappy with him, at 26 I look 40, in the morning I don’t have the strength to get out of bed, at night there are tears and regrets that I was in a hurry ... Not my man, we are different in general, but the baby loves him and I just can’t deprive him of his dad ... That’s how to live? And he walks like an indifferent , do not raise from the sofa, tired of this, even though the wolf howl

Olya Kraygorod I can't see him hear

Albina G. Mozhga Dear women! As I understand you. I myself am 43 years old. I have been living with my husband for 21 years. We have three children. Everything happened in our life. But after 40 years, apparently, there comes a reassessment of values. I suddenly realized that I didn’t love my husband at all anymore, The love that I had in my youth finally passed. I am not happy with joint vacations, joint holidays. I believe that I will meet my happy love and leave my unloved husband. And I don’t care what my mother-in-law and all my friends will say about me, I spent many years of my life on the unloved, I have not hidden my dislike for him for a long time. I also dream that he will meet a woman who will love him and he will love her, Then I will be calm for him and truly free.

Anna Ulan-Ude Girls, as I understand you all! I loved my husband very much, we have been together for seven years. Three daughters, but something suddenly broke in one moment, in my soul and in my heart. I hate him! He infuriates me: how he eats, how I don’t want to sleep with him at all, when he kisses, I want to turn away. I told him that I don’t like and don’t want to live together. years of life with him, I have aged 15 years. I don’t know what to do, how to live on!

Balgul Nefteyugansk I hate. .. feel happy only in my dreams. Why do I live? I don't know.

Anna Moscow It’s much worse when you love him, but he doesn’t love you ... I’ve been living with a person for 7 months, I love, suffer, cry, drink afobazole and valerian ... and he told me that love is too strong a feeling and he never told me will not say "I love you", like this or not, I agreed, I thought, let it show love by deeds. Shows. But by deeds, and not by feelings, he is sometimes gentle, sometimes aggressive and angry, sometimes I’m scared when he runs into me with reproaches, he grabs my stomach, as in childhood, when he flew in from his parents for misconduct. Signed. And so I think - how much is enough for us? He is good and wise, he is a man, not a rag, but it’s so cold with him ... he won’t take a nap, he won’t caress kind word(a man, after all, not a woman), he won’t regret it (there’s nothing to make of himself as a victim) ... either he loves, but coldly shows feelings (man), or he’s just comfortable with me ... I don’t know, to be honest. And, as luck would have it, there is also a discrepancy in temperaments, at first everything is openwork, a lot and private and hot, and then ... I'm not like that, I'm not a male, I need to be kindled, but I'm faithful, I don't rush at others, a member I don’t think ... yes, it’s good, but I never kindled a passion in a man consciously, everything was always excellent without that, it disgusts me, I feel unpleasant, everything is feigned somehow and my desire disappears sometimes in the end. When you are loved, it is probably easier than vice versa, when the heart cries, the soul suffers from dislike, unkindness ... but the last sweet years are leaving, before you have time to look back, the menopause will come, and with it the age when there is no time for sleepless nights from hot love ... So, it seems that the man likes and is good, but still not something. And the ideal cannot be found, the years are not the same, everyone has been married or divorced for a long time, disappointed in women or just revelers. I'll have to endure as long as I can. And then again a divorce, most likely (before that there were a lot of rags)

Anna ufa Well, how many unfortunate women spend their days with unloved ones! My husband has already traded sex for computer games for a year now, he doesn’t see children and practically doesn’t notice, he’s not interested in anything at all, except for his games of tanks. Well, to eat at home. He doesn't even know how to love. I used to freak out at him, got angry. And now there is no strength. I just try to ignore his presence. The children (two boys), also looking at him, sat down behind the tanks - you can’t kick him out. A divorce spirit is not enough. We are married. It's a sin to leave your husband without a good reason. This is terrible. Roar at night. I want love, happiness. Definitely won't be with him. My mistake is that in my youth, when we met, I thought that that SAME feeling would come to him later, I liked him very much when we met. But there was some kind of feeling of misunderstanding and somewhere deep a feeling that something was not mine, something was missing. On the outside, everything was beautiful. He's handsome, and I'm just as good. She set herself up that everything would be fine and true love would also appear for him. It's been almost 17 years now. Nothing appeared. Only the love has disappeared. Here is such a bullshit. If there was love, there would be strength and a desire to fight for the attention of her husband. Now it's not hunting. Don't get married without love. And even more so, do not get married - without checking your feelings.

Yana Kamyshin We lived with my husband for 11 years, he loved me very much and still loves me, and after the first divorce I stayed with my little son, I thought it was easier together, I could endure .. I gave birth to my second son, he is now 8 years old, I can’t stand it, I talked, I said that I can’t do it anymore, I don’t love it .. but he doesn’t leave, is silent, threatens to steal his son, he has nowhere to go, he’s not local .. and we live on .. I can’t sleep with him! WHAT TO DO?

Dana Moscow I don’t hate my husband, he doesn’t please me, what should I do? Help, I can’t leave, there are many reasons

Lizzy Inta Oh, girls, how hard it is with the unloved. She did not marry for love, it's just time to come. They lived for 15 years, gave birth to two boys, thought they would endure - they would fall in love. Yes, I did not endure and did not fall in love. Divorced, bought an apartment, doing repairs. He is furious, he suddenly remembered about the children. While the renovation is going on, we live together. What's ahead? But I can no longer live with the unloved!

Fly penza sorry

I really understand you girls, I have the same situation, 10 years together, 6 of them married ... after the birth of a child and moving to my mother-in-law, everything changed, as if they had changed him. He became aggressive, irritable. One roof like neighbors. There is nowhere to go either. And there is no love either ....

Gulya Kazan I understand you all very much. I also do not know how to live with an unloved husband. I hate him.

Madame Rome I live in Italy. My husband is older. My parents are in Ukraine, I can’t escape at all .. my husband is not aggressive, he doesn’t beat me .. but I haven’t had sex for 3 years already ... just 0% passion .. I look at him and feel sick !!! My son is 5 years old, I’m waiting for him to grow up, I’m still quietly learning English myself .. I dream of disappearing and forgetting. It’s so hard. Such loneliness.

Elena Roshal Alice, I understand you. The same situation happened today. I told my husband that I don’t love and want a divorce. Yes, but there’s nowhere to go, they are registered in the apartment together, and he himself is from another city. Now is silent. Not talking. I don’t know how the days, weeks, months or years will turn out (((((But there is no support. Mom is on the side of her husband ........

Elena Roshal Oh girls. How hard it is to live with the unloved and ruin your happiness and youth ((((I want a divorce, but he is silent like a fish on ice. We have two daughters, and I don’t want them to suffer because of my decision to divorce.

Galina Saint Petersburg I have no desire to enter into a new relationship with a man after 26 years of marriage! cook, wash, clean again? no way! I want to be alone and live only for myself!!! this is real happiness!!!

Luisa Orsk I was in love with my husband, but I married him out of necessity. I don't even know why. I always had a row with him before the birth of the child, he annoyed me very much. Now our son is 2.5 years old. We don't fight like we used to. Far less. But my attitude towards him has changed. I realized that I didn't really love him. The child has repressed all feelings. I feel for him, tenderness sometimes, care, calmness, satisfaction, but this does not happen often. When I see him nervous and angry, and if he is also for swearing, then I want to run away from him. Some disgust. In bed before pregnancy, I was very active in sex. He dragged himself from me, and now I don’t want him at all. She became frigid. Don't like everything. There is nowhere to go. Parents in another country. We rent an apartment. I don't work because I have no one to leave my child with. Kindergarten next year. In short, everything would be fine if he was not aggressive. I don't even know where to go

She Nantes I hate my husband all my life, I didn’t marry out of love, out of stupidity, and I’ve been putting up with him for 24 years. He is unbearable, he doesn’t love me either, but we have adult children, that’s how we live, from the outside we are a very prosperous family.

Nata Kraigorod And I divorced my husband and have been alone for 4 years, I do not regret that I left him

Guest of Almaty I also have the same situation. 3 children, 12.9 and 3 years old. For several years I have not loved my husband, I can not say the exact date. To live or not to live for the sake of children? That is the question. He loves me, but I don't. Torture yourself, live on with the unloved or break?

Tatyana Kraygorod That's right, and our insecurity comes from poverty - nowhere to go

Julia Kraigorod Good article. The main thing is that every word is true. I am now in a difficult situation, I think about divorce all the time, I am on maternity leave and succumb to difficulties, but there is no love, it is difficult, very difficult to live like this.

Alisa Kraygorod I agree with the author, it is unbearable to endure irritation every day at the sight of an unloved husband, but what if, after talking about divorce and loss of feelings, the husband does not want to leave, keeps silent and waits, but I have nowhere to go with the children?

Zuhra Kraigorod that's right, I don't love my husband either, but for the sake of the child I live with him, I don't know what to do ...

Captain Nemo Kraigorod I hate my husband. But I have to live with this man...

Marazmerya Kraygorod Everything is written very well.