The girl left for her ex. The girl returned to her ex

For many guys, it remains a mystery why a girl leaves for her ex-husband, because she herself said that everything was bad in her relationship with him. More than once the girl talked about the problems that arose there; they were quite serious. And now, to say the least, her return to this man seems strange. There could be many reasons why she returned. This is not always connected with you, although she could be disappointed in you, she could compare, and the comparison was not in your favor. But it may not be about you at all. The girl could simply start to get bored; at some point she realized that she still loved her ex, despite all his shortcomings. It is possible that her ex-husband behaved very competently, since she returned to him.

Now you are probably working yourself up, imagining them together, going crazy with jealousy. There is no need to use your wild imagination. If she really has strong feelings, then you won't be able to change anything, at least for now. In addition, if a girl loves, this does not mean at all that her ex loves her. Relationships can fall apart at any moment. Don’t forget that there is always a chance, the main thing is to take advantage of the given chance correctly and do everything possible to bring forward the moment when you will be together again. It’s stupid to convince a girl of anything now, to tell her that her ex is a bastard, that he won’t make her happy. She won't hear you now. Don't promise anything, don't persuade or ask. Everything has its time.

The girl must return herself. At the same time, she must make an effort so that you take her back, otherwise she will allow herself to leave for the rest of her life, build relationships elsewhere, and then, if it doesn’t work out, come to you. This cannot be allowed. It is for this reason that you should not humiliate yourself in front of a girl after she leaves. If she left, then let her go. You must show with all your appearance that you are quite capable of living without her. She is making things worse for herself, not for you, she will soon understand this. If she and her husband have children together, then it will be more difficult for her to leave him. For the sake of children, women are willing to endure a lot. For them, the happiness of their children is paramount; they want their children to have a real father, not a stepfather.

And do you really need all this burden in the form of other people’s children? Are you ready to accept someone else's child? Not everyone is capable of this, and it is advisable to weigh everything first. If there are no children, then your chances increase; the girl will not stay with her husband for long. I don’t think that during the time they were apart, he was able to work on himself so much, he was able to change so much in order to build a qualitatively different relationship. In most cases, people who get together again make the same mistakes until someone gets completely tired of it all, then the relationship falls apart forever. Before you get upset, answer yourself the question: how many couples do you know who would separate in their marriage and then get back together? This is very rare and such pathetic attempts to restore relationships, to give this relationship another chance, easily fall apart in the first months after reunification. But you shouldn’t rejoice just yet. You should only accept a girl back if you see her sincere desire to be with you and love. Often girls return out of despair, because they simply have nowhere to go. Don't be deceived in your expectations.

If you are determined to get your girlfriend back, I recommend reading the book by Sergei Sadkovsky and Oleg Ideal on how to get your ex-girlfriend back. There are many positive reviews. You can download it from the link below:

The girl left for her ex... What should I do? Let's agree right away that you won't panic and just take my word for it that it's possible to get your girlfriend back!

I’m not saying that it will be easy and you’ll get it back in two days, but the chances are very high if you do everything consistently and correctly. I'll give you a step-by-step plan for getting her back at the very end.

The girl left for her ex-boyfriend, is it so scary?

Look, first, accept one important thing that is clearly ruining your blood. Your girlfriend left for her ex not because this ex is somehow better than you.

After all, some time ago she did the same thing to him. Got it? This is so that you don’t engage in self-examination about why you are worse than him.

The reason is that the attraction to him (misguided or intentional) is stronger at the moment for him than for you. In some ways he showed himself to be more interesting than you.

That's why she chose him. But it's not fatal and you can do the same.

Typical Behavior Errors

When it comes to your ex, it's important not to make this mistake (some guys make it):

make an appointment for him to figure it out, tell her how bad he is, convince her that you are better than him.

None of the techniques will most likely bring results. And you will sink even lower in her eyes.

Instead, I advise you not to pay attention to the fact that he is in her life at all.

Yes, you can say: “Well, how is he doing with her, she’s fine, she’ll immediately forget me and be with him.”

Here I will tell you this:

First, be patient.. Today everything is fine with them, and tomorrow he will already be in your place. In addition, girls are very curious by nature and do not miss the opportunity, even when in a relationship, to “follow the lives of their exes.”

And this, oddly enough, plays into your hands.

Secondly, time is on your side. Time you need to work on yourself and when we need to appear in her field of vision. If she doesn’t find you first :)

The fact is that girls don’t really believe words, but they believe deeds (we’re not talking about gifts or attention - I’ll explain what I mean a little later).

Therefore, focus on the result and be calm about it. Everything will happen better than you think now. The ideal option now would be for you to simply stop being active in her direction.

Don't be afraid that your ex is now with someone else . You can make her leave him and be in a relationship with you again.

Make your choice and move forward without delay.

Now I think you are not afraid of the fact that the girl left for her ex! Start returning, I’m sure you will succeed.

Question for a psychologist:

Hello! In general terms, my story is quite banal. Up until this point, I had been out of a relationship for just over a year. My beloved left me and went to her ex. A little background: she dated her ex for about 1.5-2 years. I don’t know the full history of their relationship, but I can say that they had frequent disagreements and dissatisfaction with each other, even leading to insults from their parents. I didn’t ask about their intimate life, although I understood that something had happened during that time. I don’t remember exactly who dumped whom in the end. And now to our relationship. We met her at an English language course, and it so happened that out of all the girls in the group, I noticed her, although she did not have any outstanding appearance and I did not know her at that time, but for some reason I was drawn to her. Literally after a couple of classes we already started communicating, and about a week later I asked her to meet. We live and study in the same city. Our relationship developed well: we constantly corresponded, saw each other, went for walks, she was completely satisfied with our intimate life. And this was not only my opinion, but she also said the same. As a result, our relationship lasted almost 5 months until she left for her ex. It all started with ordinary communication between them. One evening we were talking and she complained that her ex had started writing to her. He wrote to her something like: “I need you, I can’t live without you.” By that time, he most likely already knew that she had a new boyfriend. I didn't like it, but she calmed me down and said that she had no intention of returning to him. Some time passed, and as it turned out, he became her friend and continued communicating, but only on social media. networks. And I still believed that since she was with me, she really didn’t want to go back to him. But, without noticing it, due to jealousy, I became more intrusive, irritable and everything like that. In the last half month of our relationship, she became cold towards me, and I did not understand the reason. Either it’s me, or it’s my worst fears, or it’s a blockage at work or school. As a result, one day we had a quarrel. As she said, she was tired of me with my jealousy and obsession. I suggested that she calm down and take a break and she agreed. But a couple of days passed, when suddenly she said that she loved someone else, and this other one turned out to be her ex. The words about love and devotion were forgotten, and instead I heard words that we were too different, and we were not a couple at all. And when I asked what was so special about him, and why she returned to him, she did not name any qualities or anything else, but only said that during the time they were together, she became attached to him. It was a shock for me, I fell into depression. She was not the first girl for me, I had separations and breakups before, but this time I couldn’t stand it. I thought I would stay with her until the end, and I wanted that. I started running after her, apologizing, trying to get her back. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I didn’t have to run after her. So I only moved further away from her, and in addition frayed her nerves. But, as it seemed to me, even after all this, she did not move away from me at all, rather she kept me as an “alternate airfield”. The last time we communicated, I lost my temper, insulted her, and then left. From that moment on, I did not communicate with her at all. Almost a month has passed, now I have cooled down, I am no longer consumed by depression, but my feelings for her are still strong. I want her back, but I don't know what to do. It is impossible to forget her, and it will not be possible. We study at the same university, and moreover, we are in the same group taking English courses. Where to begin? How to act so that she chooses me?

Psychologist Ekaterina Igorevna Trofimenko answers the question.

Hello Dmitry. You assess the situation quite adequately and soberly and see your mistakes. If you can maintain the ability to objectively assess what is happening, then your chances of winning everything back will be quite good. You found the strength to leave the girl alone - this is very good. The fact that depression has passed is temporary. You want her back, the girl has not yet had such a desire, so it may make things worse for you. With the right actions, it is highly likely that she will take steps in your direction. To what stage the so-called comeback can be brought will depend on you. Even if you fail to complete the matter, her steps towards you will help restore your self-esteem and make you more successful in building further relationships (perhaps with another girl). I will now briefly describe what needs to be done. This scheme is standard and works no matter how much the girl values the new relationship. You may not agree with some point (it’s up to you to decide), I’m describing something that always works and works perfectly.

Love is not something stable and unchanging, like a piece of concrete. It can be stronger, it can weaken, it can go away completely, it can grow back. The girl loved you, now her feelings have passed, they are gone. She doesn't love you anymore. The fact that you want her back means that you don’t believe in it. Now she doesn't love you at all. You want to get her back, which means you have to grow her feelings all over again. Not from scratch, but from the hole you dug, running after her and begging her to come back.

1. We get out of the hole. Now her attraction to you is so negative that any neutral outside guy has a better chance of being in a relationship with her. Everything needs to be reset for it to cool down. To do this, you need to disappear from sight (on average this takes a month). Don’t cross paths with her, figure out something with the courses, avoid her at the university. There is no need to catch her eye, if a meeting cannot be avoided, then as with any stranger. No “hello, how are you, etc.” Don't discuss it with your friends. You may be afraid that during this time she will forget about you completely. He won't forget, but he'll get hungry. And it will start to tug at you (are you still on the hook or something).

2. Let her think that everything is fine with you. Direct all your efforts to this for now (become better, more successful, more beautiful, smarter). You can’t just sit and wait without doing anything (this is a loss). Invest energy in your development.

3.Her first attempts to meet her should not be perceived as a desire to win you back. In general, all the mess in her head and her internal swings do not concern you - these are her personal problems. Your task is to be strong and not let yourself be shaken. Until she directly says “I love you, I want to return you,” do not believe her. It doesn’t matter why she wants to communicate - that’s her business, you have your own goals for her, don’t settle for less, be proud (this is important).

4. Don’t take hints, try to avoid personal meetings. If communication cannot be avoided, be polite and cold. At first she will have a small attraction, your task is to grow her attraction into something strong. You have already done everything good for her during the relationship. All. There is no need to please her with anything anymore. Now create a deficit - let him starve, let him be sad about lost love. She destroyed the relationship, return it to her too. When he matures, he will figure out how. She should run after you. Or no one after anyone. No options Rating 4.69 (16 Votes)

Hello, This is Lesha Doc and in this article I will answer the question of a guy who found himself in a difficult situation

And the subject of his letter sounds like this: “The ex-girlfriend left for someone else”

my favorite girl right now, That

Click: Get your favorite girl

I'll answer you personally.

My personal email: [email protected] (everything is free)

And here is his letter that he sent to me:

Hello Lekha. I really like the site and articles. Situation: I’m 25, I’ve had 6 girls in terms of sex, 3 serious relationships, I’m athletic, fit, not Mr. Olympia, but I can press 6 hundred, outwardly in complete order (according to the reviews of girls I know). The girl is 22 years old, relationship duration 4 months.

Now about the problem, 4 months ago I met a girl, everything is banal, gave me a like, I wrote and off we go, I immediately liked the girl from the photo, model, dancer, choreographer, lives in another city, 140 km from mine. Everyone talked as usual, we met a week later, I came to see her, it was clear right away that she liked me, and I was crazy about her, just outwardly, well, 100 percent my type, after the meeting she started telling me in my contact what she was feeling it’s incredibly easy with me, it’s never been like this before.

So, we started dating but unfortunately only on weekends, because different cities, etc. I gave her various gifts, flowers, chocolate, once I drew her portrait (I’ve been good at drawing since childhood), I came to every date with flowers and some small surprise (since I met once a week, it didn’t bother me or her). In general, I did everything from the heart, we slept together about a month later, she invited me to her place, everything was cool in this regard and she was clearly delighted.

BUT suddenly, her ex shows up and meets her in a banal way (pass her camera and something else). I’m confident in myself, I think she’ll do it well, and everything will be great, which is exactly what she’s doing. We live quietly, but after some time I find out that he starts coming to her work, to ask her to come back, she loves her, they say she can’t live, this is starting to seriously alarm me, apparently my intuition kicks in, several weeks pass, and she consistently shows up at work once a week. She cries, says she loves her, she sends him. About the former: a sambo wrestler, a big guy, an imbecile, I adequately understand that they can simply unwind me and I don’t go into conflict myself, I expect that he will lag behind.

Day X is coming, in the morning I feel like shit is going to happen, she goes to see her friend on her birthday in a nightclub (she warned me a week in advance), we chat nicely all day, either calling each other on social networks, or via SMS, the last SMS arrives at 11 o’clock, then he stops answering me, at 2 am I call - he doesn’t answer, at 4 am I call - he doesn’t answer, it’s like a sickle in the balls, I understand that the city is small, there can only be one reason ..

I go to bed, start calling in the morning, doesn’t answer, calls back at 2 p.m., about my interview where it’s starting to get dark, saying she got drunk, didn’t hear, etc. I think okay, to hell with you, bye, rest from your hangover. After about an hour he calls back, slurping into the phone and with a trembling voice, says the same word “sorry” I ask why, she “forgive me”, I think, well, everything is clear, goodbye.

Half a day later I turn on my phone, there are a ton of missed calls, SMS, like I love you, I can’t live, including from her mother, forgive our daughter, she herself did not understand what she did(her parents’ relationship with me was very good, but with her ex, it was the opposite) I pick up the phone and find out that she’s already on her way, she doesn’t know where, but she’s on her way, at night and from another city, on a bus, I think, well, since she’s so drunk, I’ll meet her...

He comes all in tears, says that he regrets, that she was drunk and that this won’t happen again, I’m like an ass, I eat it all, I forgive, but of course I don’t believe it anymore.. After what happened, my ex begins to show even more activity, calls her parents, hangs out at her work, she’s in denial, all this time I’m eaten up by anger and jealousy, we start quarreling, and then she leaves for a beauty contest in another city for a week, I become terribly hysterical, call her, make a scene.

Another weekend is coming, but it turns out like this that she has catwalk shows this weekend, we can only see each other on Sunday, I say, let me come to you, we’ll spend at least a day together, she agrees, but on Sunday she starts to get cold, she says she’s tired and really wants to be alone, blah blah, I understand that they’re starting to dump me, out of emotion I suggest we break up , because complete bullshit begins, she agrees, says that she has a career, dancing and modeling, and they say because we will rarely see each other at a distance and I will be hysterical, but she doesn’t need that...

Honestly, there is no pain, I learned from the experience of old relationships don't let people get close to you, and her betrayal for me was something like the beginning of the end, all this time I was preparing for such an outcome, so there is only an unpleasant aftertaste and a desire to understand what happened after all..

I apologize for there being so much text, I just wanted to tell you everything in detail, I haven’t forgotten anything, I’m waiting for an outsider’s view of the whole situation as a whole, my mistakes, and what to do if she suddenly changes her mind and wants to come back, the girl is very beautiful and not I'd like to miss it... And what to do if the girl left for her ex?

So, let's understand this situation

What can you say about the guy?

The guy doesn't know how to make friends at all and... most likely he is very afraid of this. That is why, deep down in his soul, he expects that the girl will get to know him herself, and if this happens, only then will he begin to fuss and run around her. But the most interesting thing is that this happened, the girl in his photo liked it. And the guy immediately realized that this was destiny and such an opportunity should not be missed, even despite the fact that the girl lives 140 km away from him, and creating a relationship at a distance is complete nonsense.

At the same time, the guy doesn’t understand girls at all, for him the most important thing is that she is beautiful, he doesn’t need anything else, which means this is an ideal, as a result, he begins to forgive her anything, although he himself understands that he is doing everything wrong, but because of his weakness he can’t do anything with this cannot.

The guy is an ordinary idle talker, i.e. he tells a girl one thing and does something completely different, again due to the fact that he does not have willpower and masculine qualities and self-esteem. As a result, after the girl’s betrayal, he tells her that he is breaking up, and half a day later he meets her at the station with tears of happiness in his eyes, even looking at it is sickening…. As a result, the girl understands that this guy can be safely ridden.

Due to his weakness, he can't break up with his girlfriend and every time he starts to get hysterical, like a girl, if his girlfriend does something differently than he planned, but the girl doesn’t care about his hysterics.

What can you say about the girl?

A girl is a man, who brought her ex-boyfriend to tears, the main thing for her is to achieve her goal, and everything else is not important. He wants to drive a car, builds a career, is always busy making money, and uses boys for sex and passing time when it’s convenient for her.

In fact, she doesn’t need any relationship for nothing. She wants to be alone and have a lover who will entertain her and fulfill her whims. She will hang out at discos, show off her beautiful body to everyone (thereby stroking her ego), and if she likes the guy who approaches her, she will sleep with him very easily, even if she has a relationship with another guy.

So, I answer the question: “ What if the girl left for her ex?»

If this happened, then you need to forget about this situation and forget about this girl, and understand that, firstly, you don’t understand girls at all, and secondly, you are so weak that you urgently need to change something and start working on yourself.

Because if you don't, then any future acquaintance of yours will end the same way, not only feminine girls who cannot stomach driven guys will leave you, but even strong girls with a masculine character will leave you as soon as they realize that you are neither fish nor fowl.

This article is just a small part of what is on my sites, they contain a lot of useful and practical information on this and other topics that interest you. You can immediately successfully use this information in practice with girls, without wasting your time. Now I have 2 sites: lesha-dok..

Click: More articles on this topic

By the way, if you want to get yours my favorite girl right now, That

Click: Get your favorite girl

If you have a question for me, then write, I I'll answer you personally. On the topic of girls, I have been giving advice for 9 years, I have a huge experience. (all confidential). Copy my email from here below and write.

My personal email: [email protected] (everything is free)

What guys say about the articles:

“Lesha, from the moment I started reading your articles, I changed my life a lot. If you apply your advice, then not only your relationships with girls will change, but your whole life in general. Now I live like a MAN, and the girls feel it))”
Egor, Moscow

“Thank you so much, Lesha!!! The tips from your articles are useful, they change your own psychology and attitude towards the world and towards girls. Now everything in my life has changed dramatically. Thankful to you!"
Maxim, Ukraine

“Alexey, thank you so much for what you do. You help people find each other, while breaking all the stereotypes of behavior between guys and girls. After your advice, it becomes easier to communicate with girls and live in general. It turns out that everything is simple!)”

The most short-lived romances are those that arose immediately after a broken relationship. Surely, when you met, the girl told you how difficult her recent relationship was, how hard she was going through the breakup. And if little time has passed after such a relationship, then there is a high probability that not everything has burned out, has become sick and has passed. An ex may appear on the horizon, and if a girl perceives this normally, if she goes behind your back, or even without hiding, sorts things out with him, calls back and texts, this is a very alarming sign. A smart guy will end it all in an instant.

Usually, many guys give the girl a choice: either him or her ex. But sometimes guys are simply afraid of losing a girl, it seems to them that if they wait for time, if they endure this situation, then everything will come to its senses, and the ex will disappear from the horizon. And then the moment comes when the girl announces to you that she is getting back together with her ex. If in any other situation we could tell you that you did something wrong in the relationship, then in this case the problem may not be with you at all. Often, girls, out of spite for their ex, after an affair with him, start a relationship with the first guy they come across; they start this relationship without love, in order to annoy them. This, of course, is vile and wrong; you cannot play with other people’s feelings.

In this situation, you just have to accept it. But not everyone is ready for this. Sometimes a guy tries to get a girl back, he is pathetic in his actions, he is humiliated. And this cannot be allowed. Try to control yourself and let the girl go calmly, even if you are going crazy with love. Now you just need to let her go. Let her step again on the same rake that she has stepped on more than once. It is possible that after a while she herself will come running to you in tears and again complain about her ex. And here you need to show your masculine character and not allow the girl to just come back so easily. Otherwise, she may run back and forth for a long time.

You need to let the girl know that she can’t do this to you. The girl must realize this once and for all. And your behavior must be correct. If you want to get her back, then be successful at something. Girls are always where success is. You have to show that you are better, but you are absolutely not going to run after the girl. And I assure you, she will return herself. But whether it’s worth taking her back is up to you to decide. At the very least, she must put at least some effort into this, otherwise the girl will never learn to appreciate you. Good luck to you!