And I left my husband. "I have three children

The first shock passed. Thank you all for your support.
The main thing is that constructive thinking has returned.
1) I agreed at work with my boss (luckily for me, she also happened to be pregnant and easily accepted my situation) that maternity benefits would be paid to me based on my full salary - a total of 6.5 months in case of twins. This money will be enough for about 1.5 years, taking into account that my current nanny-assistant will be left to pick up the child after kindergarten and take him to courses and for one trip in the summer with the whole family somewhere, apparently not far away - I don’t want to take the kids to the sea. There is also a dacha of 24 acres, where children will have freedom. It’s a bit far, it’s true, but the air is clean;
2) In 1.5-2 years I still want to go to work. For now, my current salary is enough for both a housekeeping assistant and a nanny. Nobody, of course, knows what will happen in 2-3 years. But I hope that it will be enough even after these few years.
3) I came up with the idea of ​​renting out my apartment in Moscow and renting in the Moscow region - the difference is significant. And this money will again go to the budget. All that remains is to look for a decent school and choose an area.
4) Setting it up friendly relations with husband. I involve you in finding a school for your child, choosing a doctor, or a maternity hospital. I discussed his duties after my birth. He says he is ready to help. Today I sent him for an interview - I hope they will take him. If I can arrange it with my input, it will be easier to agree on a part of the salary that he will give to the children. But yesterday he confirmed his intention to earn money and help us with money. We continue to live separately. I plan to continue to maintain friendly relations with him - in this case, this is the most optimal for now.
5) I agree with the grandmothers about what kind of help someone can provide - sit, take a walk. I draw up schedules and listen to wishes. Of course, I won’t force anyone. I don’t want to throw my problems onto other people’s shoulders. But they seem to want to help. God grant that the desires do not dry up.
6) Friends are collecting dowries for their children. There seems to be a lot of things being collected. This expense item is slowly disappearing. What a blessing to have friends!
Thanks to all those who supported me here. It really helped me get my fighting spirit back and keep moving forward. Thank you for your positive feedback, kindness and honesty. You helped me get out of a state of depression that threatened to become chronic. Thanks again everyone!!!
Separately, I would like to say a few words to people who, apparently, find some kind of sadistic pleasure in blaspheming, condemning, rude, uncivilized and insulting someone without really understanding the situation. This only speaks of your limitations, stupidity and anger. Fortunately, there are not many of you here. Let me remind you that the topic of this topic does not include a discussion of the reasons that led to this situation. Believe me, if I wanted to ask you about this, I would have done it. But I am not interested in your opinion on this matter. I only briefly described the situation to make the picture more complete and eliminate some additional questions. Everything is not as obvious as it seems to your meager mind. If you want to take out your anger on this world, choose another place. And if you have nothing to say on the topic of the topic, get out of here. I am sure that for people who are so filled with anger and rudeness, things themselves are not so smooth in this life.

The son is on a bench in the group's locker room.

“It’s all your fault,” he shouts. The face is red, tears shine in the eyes.

Instead of putting on tights, he waves them, demanding:

Tell me! Where is the front, where is the back?

Pantyhose fly in front of my nose. I'm lost from the screams empty space. It’s been two years since he dressed himself. This skill sets him apart from his peers in the garden.

It's all your fault!

I'm silent. For the first six months it started up in response to whims. Now I’ve learned to pull myself together when I want to yell back or slap her on the ass.

You're not helping me! It's your fault!

I can guess what's going on. How it hurts in my chest. “Be patient, it hurts even more,” I tell myself, realizing the reason. Exactly. We lived for 10 days with dad, who for 2 years cannot forgive the divorce and pours out his pain into his children’s ears.

Yes, of course, it’s my fault,” I answer as calmly as possible and stroke my son’s back, “if it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t exist.” Because I gave birth to you!

5 minutes of patience, and the screams go away. Tights, pants, sneakers are on. The son released the tension and happily runs to the exit.

It is not only financial dependence on the spouse that keeps you, but also the reluctance to hurt children

I don’t grab the phone, although my hands reach out on their own. I would like to curse (which, as a well-mannered lady, I don’t allow myself in 99% of cases) the second “culprit” for the fact that our children were born.

There are three of them. The daughter was born at the very peak of the conflict, when divorce was already inevitable.

There are many reasons for divorce. One of them is our desire to be perfect. Ideal spouses, parents. Perhaps my story will help someone hear the alarm bells. And find the strength to start changing something before it’s too late.

When did I leave?

When I finally decided to get a divorce, the eldest son was 4.5 years old, the middle one was 2.5 years old (he was waving his tights in the locker room), and my daughter was preparing to be born. When I say that I left my husband with three small children, women are shocked. Men try to hide their attitude.

And for me, a phrase from a familiar mother of two children: “I would have divorced a long time ago, but where am I going to be alone with them?” back in 2011 it sounded fine. When a woman depends on a man financially, she resigns herself, for the sake of the safety of her offspring, to the fact that she is not satisfied in her marriage and in her partner.

Although it is not only the financial dependence on the spouse that holds her back, but also the reluctance to hurt the children and the fear of condemnation. Reluctance to admit the failure of a project called “family”.

I left, burning all my bridges. I could stay in the family only by becoming a walking corpse, who is almost indifferent to what happens around me. A person of indeterminate gender with a look that has gone out forever.

How did it happen?

Oddly enough, it all started with the desire to be happy. And create your own business. When future husband wanted me to go with him to another city, my parents tried to dissuade me (we had known each other for one week). Mom was afraid that I couldn’t handle it. That our relationship will end in 3 years. Then I told myself (apparently out of a desire to prove to my mother that she was wrong): “I will be happy!”

Mom was wrong. We lived together not 3, but 11 years. I was even more mistaken than my mother. Trapped positive thinking, I tried to see the positives in both my husband and the situation.

I tried not to notice that all his stories were about treacherous wives and bad mothers in the background good men. My ego was fueled by the thought: “Since he is so disappointed in women and chose me, it means I’m special.” I accepted him as he is. She followed his principles and views, abandoning her own.

When the situation demands it, I learn to live in Spartan conditions. Sometimes there is nothing to eat. But we “do not lose heart” or pretend to. We practice health fasting. And we live by the principle “No debts and loans.” We don’t ask for help, even from our parents. We have no friends. There is no time to be friends. We are heading towards the goal.

For the sake of achieving it, we do not take a hired job.

Even when I went to “cold sales” in the 8th month, my husband was not looking for an opportunity to earn extra money. This will distract you from your goal, set you back, and eat up time. But I couldn’t convey how hard it was for me, mentally and physically. I just did it.

The husband's tenacity was admirable. And I admired it. She was a comrade-in-arms and a fighting friend. Only 10 years later I realized that I had not lived then. She fought and fought. In negotiations - for the right to possess other people's money. At home - for the right not to go to this war. She invariably lost the second battle.

From a tortured draft horse, I began to slowly turn into a living person

In parallel with business, we are building a family. It seems to be working. It's like he's the head. Having hung a sign on himself: “I am on strategic issues,” he makes decisions and assumes official responsibility.

The case was started by him and registered on him. The mortgage is on it. So why is there so much humility in my decision to be the “sales department” in the joint venture? Why is the flag flying over this decision: “If you want to be together, sales cannot be avoided”?

Why do I feel afraid? It’s logical, because at the moment when I have a newborn baby in my arms, it depends on my selling texts how soon we can pay off the mortgage and whether we can do it at all... Out of fear for the children, I get more and more involved in the cart: work, children, vegetable garden... every day I look more and more like a draft horse than a woman. There is no time to ask yourself the question: “Why?”

Even when the mortgage was paid off, I couldn't stop. Probably, so as not to look for answers to the questions: why in our life together so little together? Where is the joy? Yes, there is business, bed, conversations on his favorite topics, children. And it's all? Is this enough?

Why does the cost of so many decisions we made “together” fall so heavily on my shoulders alone?

We decided that children should not wear disposable diapers. Who wakes up 5 times a night to change diapers? Who rushes home with a stroller because the child peed while walking in -25°C?

The first time I “bucked”, when our first-born was denied access to developmental classes because he peed on the Montessori center carpet for the third time.

So, don’t take me to class,” the husband said.

It seemed unthinkable to me to deprive a child of education and development because of some principle. I bought diapers at least to wear for an hour in the center.

The second time I didn't buck. A new one just launched thinking process, when a frightening thought crept into my consciousness: “What will happen to me and the children (there were two of them at that time) if something happens to him?”

We had a joint business registered in his name. According to the law, the right to inheritance is 6 months. How can I survive with my children during these six months if the entire system from which I extract money by writing sales letters stops?

She blamed herself for such thoughts and therefore did not discuss the issue of her safety with him (in our country it is somehow not customary to talk to a person about the fact that, thinking about his death, you worry about yourself). And I didn’t even allow myself to think about it. But, apparently, the process has begun in the subconscious.

It began to gain strength. Look for opportunities. Become aware of desires. Take trainings. Look for something that will give me the fullness of life. From a tormented draft horse, it began to slowly turn into a living person. I started (for the first time in 10 years of marriage) to read books not only on copywriting, sales and about children, but what I like. I bought a laptop and was happy about spring, because I could sit not in the house, but under the blooming apple trees in our garden. I felt my real self returning to me.

Fell in love. I wanted to leave the family. I was condemned. At that moment, the parents refused to support, saying: “Try to save the family. You have children." It hurt that my parents were not on my side. Who is for me then? Is the whole world against it? It seemed that only they could help.

I was in my 7th month and decided “suddenly” that I had the right to be in maternity leave

I listened to my parents' arguments. For six months, when we tried to save the family, he gave flowers and even once took us to a restaurant 170 km away. I was surprised by the breakfast. Had a massage. He gave me books to read on how to be a proper Vedic wife.

But I could not forgive either myself or him for the extreme efforts that I made on myself when we were moving towards common goals. Yes, I have become strong. And I am grateful to him for this. But the Woman in me was dying too painfully, put on a starvation ration of denial of desires.

If we lived in the city, I would simply leave with the children while he is at work, in English. But my husband didn’t go to work, and we lived 320 km from the nearest large city: it seemed that I simply had nowhere to go... So we still lived together.

The third time I couldn't stand it. I refused to write selling texts on a topic that has long ceased to be interesting. Yes, she feeds us. But what this process took from me cannot be measured in money. It was as if a huge black hole was forming in me, through which a powerful vacuum cleaner was pumping out the joy of life and moral strength.

I was 7 months pregnant and “suddenly” decided that I had the right to go on maternity leave at least once. She refused to put a black hole inside herself again. I could no longer ignore how she was eating me up from the inside.

My husband (and business partner in one person) tried to persuade me to “get back into business.” For the first time he could not convince me. I decided to stop being a fighting friend, a comrade-in-arms. I wanted to be and feel like a Woman. I was expecting my daughter. This increased responsibility.

What I can give her now, while she is inside, is energy and health. I didn’t want the black hole to take away what was meant for the baby. I tried to explain this to my husband. But in 10 years I have not learned to speak in a language he understands about what is critically important to me. Then I just went into not doing and not talking about it.

In my decision to transfer the right of the breadwinner to him, I remained firm as a rock for two months. I had to beat myself up, because work is also a drug. I already said: “Learn to write yourself.”

I didn’t take it seriously, I didn’t want to grow in this direction. After all, I always allowed myself to be persuaded.

How I gave up

Approaching New Year. This is a joyful and anxious time for entrepreneurs. Because on New Year's Eve you can make good money or suck your paw all January if you fail.

When I saw how, instead of the potential 200 thousand rubles, he earned less than five thousand rubles per share, I had to make a difficult decision: be patient and let him learn from his mistakes, starving myself and depriving my children, or take sales into my own hands again?

I realized that in two or three weeks, when there was nothing left to eat, I would give in under his pressure and again become a workhorse, sadly wandering in a circle. I decided to take a pro-active position. I thought through the letter and sent it to subscribers. It felt like I was jumping into the last carriage of a departing train.

For me then, family was something sacred. Divorce was perceived as a failure and shame

An hour later, the payment system exploded with requests. Got money for a month and a half quiet life. Then I realized that I would not be lost alone. I insisted that he give me 1/3 of the profit. And she went to her parents. I needed strength to make a final decision.

Could I stay with the family?

Yes. After all, I’ve been thinking about the issue of divorce for a year and a half. In the last month, she offered to find options when he would take more responsibility for the children and earnings, and I could breathe out.

If, when I said that I was getting a divorce, instead of hysterics, manipulating the children and tightening the screws, he would have tried to hear my needs, I would have stayed.

For me then, family was something sacred. Divorce was perceived as a failure and a shame. Collapse of life values. Of course, I didn’t want to be the initiator. But living with a person who denies you is suicidal. And I was saved. Having received help from a psychologist, a friend and parents, she began to fight for the right to be herself.

When we were getting divorced, I learned that those around us considered our family to be role models. Men cited me as an example to their wives: this is how you should support your husband and his authority.

What can I say to this?

For 10 years I tried to be perfect. I sincerely considered myself happy. But it turned out that with admiration, support and selfless work for the good of the family, I only inflated the male ego to incredible proportions.

Be sensitive to your loved ones and yourself. The family is not just a unit of society

My responsibility is that I did not know how to realize and convey my needs to him and did not understand that without this there would be death. And this must be done from the very beginning of the relationship. It is hardly possible to quickly retrain when 10 years allowed otherwise.

We are the ones who teach other people how to treat us and how not to. From the first meeting and throughout my life. The attempt to deceive nature failed. When I stopped appearing and began to simply “be,” it turned out that my husband could not accept me. By hook or by crook, he tried to push me back into the Procrustean bed of his ideal wife. But it was no longer the size.

P.S. I'm still for the family. Not a supporter of divorce. Indeed, it is scary to look into the soul and understand what is happening to children whose parents have divorced. But it is unlikely that the souls of those children whose parents, although together, but both (or one of them) have turned into “mental mannequins,” are much better at heart.

Be sensitive to your loved ones and yourself. The family is not just a unit of society. Let it become a place where everyone is happy.

Yes, I read the posts and was simply shocked! how many evil people are clinging to credit cards! apparently also someone’s mistresses, or those who built their happiness on someone else’s misfortune! For those who don’t understand, my husband doesn’t refuse to provide for us financially; he hasn’t blocked access to credit cards! leaves the apartment and car! In general, noble in this regard! I asked for support - not for slander “why did I give birth”, I feel sorry for the money, etc. You are not in my situation and you can’t tell about your life in a topic like this, but your impressions, well-wishers, are superficial! It’s not for you to judge whether I’m good or bad! when my husband left, he told me that it was not about me, but about him, that that lady was no better or worse than me, that I was very beautiful, it was just about HIM! I won’t make excuses, if you got to know this person better, you wouldn’t throw remarks at me and wouldn’t hurt me by saying that my beloved is there, but I’m tired of my children! The children are not only mine - he took part in their conception, quite consciously! If only I knew where to lay the straws, I would lay the beds! how much cruelty, how much anger... THANKS TO THOSE WHO STILL UNDERSTAND ME! And for the rest - I won’t waste time explaining to you what you don’t want to hear!

For the malicious ones, my husband will provide for me not only for six months, but much more and does not insist on my immediate return to work! I will continue to take care of the children! and I will go to work when my children adapt to kindergarten, because they are my family - it was dad’s decision so that the children would not go to kindergarten! Now their lives are changing too! If I had the opportunity to work and earn money for three children, I would not take a penny from him and, in general, would go somewhere, never to see or hear from him again! His departure is a great trauma for the children, I’ll get over it, but the eldest is very sad, and I don’t know how to tell her the truth while he’s on a business trip! I can’t help but say that dad went to another aunt and will be there!

Again, for the gloating - such love, big and bright, he is free, he left, why didn’t the beloved leave her husband and continue to live in the family that holds her? After all, such love and children are already adults, unlike mine!

When a man starts a family and children, he takes responsibility; he is obliged to provide for his children if he normal man, and not just a male, had fun and left! and my children have the right to live in abundance, as they are used to, despite the fact that dad left! I don’t ask him for anything for myself, I’ll earn it for myself!

It’s not for you to judge what I’m like, not for you!
oh, how easy it is to spit in the soul! If you can't say anything good, keep silent!

Add to bookmarks

Hello! It seems that just recently you were rejoicing at the birth of a child, making plans together, and suddenly your husband left you and the children. You are at a loss... For you, a situation in which your husband leaves you with a small child is an absolute wrong that could never happen to your family.

Your husband leaves the family with one or two children - and now the most important thing for you is to return the father to the children. Not a husband for the family - but a father for the children. After all, children are the most important thing. Almost all women make this mistake.
But he hasn’t stopped being a father (whether he’s a good or a bad father, he’s still a father). He left you, his status as a husband is changing, so it is important and necessary to focus on this.

First, I’ll tell you what the reason for this common misconception is, and what you need to do if your husband doesn’t need you and your children. What you will learn from me will help you restore your family if your husband left you with your children. Read this.

Why do men abandon their children?

Men leave their pregnant wives, leave their wives immediately after childbirth, the husband leaves the family with two children. The most striking examples that are widely heard: Arshavin, who left his wife and three children; actor Evgeny Tsyganov left his wife with seven children! And this list can be continued endlessly. Why is this happening?

People are divided into men and women not only by external signs. Each group is clearly assigned a specific model of behavior.

You have heard more than once, and perhaps you yourself have said to your son: “Men don’t cry,” or to your daughter: “Girls don’t behave like that.” Moreover, the smallest baby understands what we are talking about.

There is external identification, and there is internal self-awareness:

• Family: you are a woman, you are a daughter, you are a wife, you are a mother.
• Social: you are a teacher, you are an economist.
• National.
• Territorial.
• Religious
  etc.

There are many points. We won't list everything. What matters in this case is that some social roles are more important to us than others. And here we finally come to the main idea.

For a woman, an important internal role is “I am a mother”. That doesn't mean she doesn't want to be beautiful woman, does not want love or does not plan to build a career. This means that she can sacrifice all other manifestations of her “I” if necessary for the sake of the children.

For a man, an important internal role is “I am a man”. This doesn't mean he doesn't love his children or doesn't want to happy family. This means that he can sacrifice all his other manifestations of his “I” if it is necessary to maintain the feeling of being a man in the first place.

And now it’s very simple mathematics - as soon as a woman begins to treat her husband, basically, as the father of her children, and not as a beloved and, most importantly, desired man, a siren begins to sound inside him, warning of danger.

As a result, we see the following picture: your husband left you with the children and left, and you...

• Wanting to establish contact with your husband, who abandoned you and your children, you remind him of his fatherly responsibilities: the children need to buy something, they need to be taken there, they don’t feel well. You know that he will react to this exactly. You think that his love for children will smooth out. And if not, then move on to the next point.

• Reproach him that he abandoned his children, that he is a bad father, that he left you - and not the children, that no one relieved him of responsibility for their upbringing. You focus on his cruelty and heartlessness, etc.

• And the most extreme option is to forbid your husband to meet with your children: “If you don’t want to see me, you won’t see them either!” It hurts you yourself and you hurt both your husband and children - for whom parents are equally important.

  This is all strategically incorrect behavior, which only aggravates the situation.

What to do if your husband left you with the children?

Let's first decide on your end goal. Do you just want a man with you, even if he is unhappy next to you? Or again have a strong family and a loving spouse?

The answer is obvious only at first glance, since, wittingly or unwittingly, women continue to manipulate children, trying to restore the family.

Yes, there is a chance that your spouse may succumb to pressure and stay with you, sacrificing his emotions for the sake of the children. Only this will not be a family - although it may last your whole life. He will love children and tolerate you because of them. And the saddest thing is that you will feel and know it every day.

The second option is that your reproaches will only cause aggression or complete ignorance. Your husband will stop all contact with you altogether.

He himself knows what he is. He himself knows that this is bad. Your husband, making the decision to leave you with a small child, is already internally prepared for these accusations. Therefore, these reproaches are off target. You can remind him as much as you like that the most important thing is the children, but this will only distance you from each other.

Actually, he went into all serious troubles - he walks, cheats, leaves precisely because his “I am a Man” overpowered his “I am a Father” in him.

Do you understand?

It is very important. This is the key to how to get your husband back, the key to understanding what exactly he is missing.

HowIs it right to return your husband to your family?

If the husbandleft you with the childrenit can be returned! After all, in fact, a man loves his children, he wants a family, he wants comfort. But at the same time, he finds it extremely difficult to perceive that he is now playing a supporting role in his woman’s life. And the man simply runs away from the family, instead of finding out the reasons and finding a way out.

To youWe urgently need to take the situation into our own hands.

Why is it important to hurry? Most often, a man leaves a family with children for his mistress. Only a woman can give him the feeling that he is valuable in himself, that he is the main thing in someone’s life. That he can still evoke emotions, desires, feel that his whole life - until the end of his days - does not consist only of: “You owe this,” “You owe that.” Do you understand?

“I am a Man” speaks and acts in him. Now, due to various circumstances, you have “lost” the man in him and therefore your husband is looking for a feeling of need for these qualities on the side.

He believes that another woman understands, desires and appreciates him. Someone else, not you. And you can visit children on weekends. After all, half the country lives like this.

And that is why we will not return the father to the children, but the beloved man to you. First you are a wife, building a relationship with your husband, and only then you are a mother. As a result, you have a strong family, a loving husband and you are sure that he is happy with you!

Understanding the reasons is only half the battle; it is especially important for you not to succumb to attacks of emotions. Being alone with children is difficult from any side: moral, material - it’s just where you can find the strength and start acting. It is so?

On this page you see a video clip “How to get your husband back.” Listen to it!

I recorded step by step instructions what and how Withdo so that you can restore the relationship with my husband and returnfather to children.

This technique works!
Even if he already lives with someone else.
Even if you are already divorced from him.

I remind you once again - you are now returning your beloved man to your family. Let him feel it.

Now gather your attention and listen to this lesson!
With faith in you, Maria Kalinina.

"...I'm probably not the first and not the last to whom such a story happens. My husband left me and the children. It hurts, not for myself, but for the children. What will I tell them when they grow up and questions about him begin?! Our family didn’t even last a year before it started to fall apart.”

A few months ago, triplets were born in one of the capital’s maternity hospitals: two girls and a boy. Significant event. Khayala is the mother of these beautiful kids, but dad... Dad did not come to visit the kids, since that day he has been completely absent from their lives. For him, the birth of three children became... an unpleasant annoyance.

Many of us dream of a strong, most importantly, complete family. And the vast majority of women imagine that they will marry their loved one, give birth to happy children, become the best parents in the world. Unfortunately, the fairy tale, turning into an unpredictable sinister joke, can collapse at some point.

The story of Khayala’s “love and marriage” is as simple and banal as yesterday. We met by chance, we met not for long, and as is customary in good families, after some time, the Elchi matchmakers knocked on the door of Khayali’s parental house. We got married in February. At that time, the girl was already 29 years old.

"...Did I love him? I never asked myself this question; it was enough that I liked him. At first we lived together, he managed to provide the family with everything necessary. It seemed that everything was fine. True, at times the newly-made husband I drank heavily. At first it bothered me, but it didn’t go away, I thought how wrong I was then, and him too, were the miscarriages that happened to me twice. about the child. I underwent a long course of treatment, after which I became pregnant again. To prevent the miscarriage from happening again, my husband and I decided that I would live with my parents for a while.”

Some time later, Khayala found out that she would become the mother of triplets. For my husband, this news did not evoke any special emotions, particularly positive ones. The pregnancy was difficult. The girl was admitted to the Republican Perinatal Center for fetal preservation. Doctors did everything possible to ensure that the babies were born healthy.

I spent two long months in the center of Khayala. However, during this time, neither the husband nor his other relatives visited the expectant mother. The relationship between the spouses went so wrong that they no longer communicated.

“...From the maternity hospital with my newborn children, I went to my mother: alone in the house my wife would not have been able to cope with three children at once, and the conditions in my husband’s house were not conducive to this. My husband visited my parents only once, and then only being pretty tipsy. After leaving, he managed to borrow money from me. It was a small, but quite significant amount for me in today’s situation. And after a while I found out that he was abandoning our children: allegedly, I became pregnant through artificial insemination. and other nonsense. A grueling showdown over the phone began, which did not lead to anything. After some time, news reaches me that he married another woman (religious marriage - editor's note), without filing a divorce from him. me. He once wrote to me that he had found the one and only one with whom he was happy today.

My husband left me with three babies. Sounds cruel, doesn't it? It's hard to contain your emotions, it's simply impossible. He left us feeling absolutely no guilt or responsibility for his children."

According to Khayala, she had a glimmer of hope that everything would still work out: her husband, who was addicted to alcohol, would come to his senses, start working, take care of his family and children, and stop drinking. However, no. Here the mother-in-law declared that Khayala was a bad wife, “she did not dream of such a daughter-in-law,” while the husband stood up and vehemently defended the parent: “I am obliged to love even after such statements.”

"...I would return to him, but now - how?! He brought him into the house new wife, according to rumors, she is also expecting a child from him - for him, this is apparently very simple. I filed for divorce and alimony."

According to Azerbaijani legislation, there is criminal liability for failure to comply with a court decision - evasion of alimony payments. According to Article 306 of the Criminal Code of Azerbaijan, fathers hiding from payment face 3 years of imprisonment or a fine in the amount of five hundred to one thousand minimum sizes wages.

"...Our family is poor, we can barely make ends meet. Good people who are aware of our situation help: who will bring medicine to the children when they are sick, and who will buy them food, clothes and diapers. Provide for them yourself, unfortunately, on this moment I’m not able to, I don’t work. We live on my mother’s pension, social assistance, and also on a few manats a day that my children’s grandfather earns in a tea shop.”

It should be noted that in Azerbaijan, working mothers receive 30 manats for children under 1 year and 6 months, and 20 manats for children under 3 years of age. If the family is low-income and receives targeted social assistance from the state, then each child of this family under the age of 1 year is given an allowance of 45 manats.

"...A child requires expenses, proper care, and now imagine that I have three of them. They will turn one year old in August."

From time to time they are left without diapers and cereals for babies - they are in dire need. The children's father does not provide even minor assistance to them.

“I’m tired of tearing my soul, all this is unbearable, I’m trying to control myself, but my hands give up. I look at the children, my heart breaks: how can I cope with three kids alone?! Divorce in itself is a big blow for a woman, and divorce in my situation, with three infants - this is a blow... triple "...

Zarina Oruj