How to sue a child from your wife - a practical guide. How to sue a child from a common-law wife? Is it possible to sue a child?

Many men who are at the stage of divorce will find it useful to know how to take a child from their wife during a divorce. Judicial practice in the former post-Soviet space is such that the son or daughter almost automatically remains with the mother, and the father only receives the right to see them under a number of restrictions. But with the increasing level of legal literacy of the population, the number of lawsuits demanding the return of children to their father has increased.

But if in the absolute majority of cases the mother only needs to declare her desire to live with her children, then the father needs to try very hard to ensure that his claim is satisfied.

Why is it difficult for a father to keep his children?

According to some strange tradition, the father is almost always removed from the newly born baby under the pretext that he will hold him in his arms in the wrong way, give a bottle wrong, wash him wrong, or rock him to sleep wrong. The enthusiasm of the young dad is cooling under the rain of comments and reproaches that he will again do the wrong thing. He will have to watch the baby from the side.

Then the mother takes the preschooler to kindergarten, and the father walking hand in hand with the baby to kindergarten from home or home from kindergarten is as rare as a snow leopard. Dad again dresses the baby in the wrong way, leads him the wrong way, doesn’t ask the teacher questions about how his son or daughter slept and ate, whether they sweated in physical education or sang in music class. Therefore, dad is also removed from kindergarten.

To school on parent meetings Mom is walking around again, and Dad is no longer even trying to change the situation - an entire system of gender education has been built against him. He is called to school as a scarecrow if a teenager has done something out of the ordinary. Then the teacher (woman), head teacher (woman" and director (usually also a woman) attack him because he is not raising his son or daughter in the right way. Moreover, all important issues from the point of view of the school are resolved by teachers with the mother, and they don’t remember the second parent at all.

And if the family breaks up, rarely does any father dare to declare his desire to keep his children for himself. He had been pushed away from them so many times that he had long doubted his parental rights.

Handing over children to their father for upbringing seems to be something strange, wrong, unnatural. Almost half of the children in the former Soviet republics are raised by a same-sex couple - a mother and a grandmother on their mother's side - and receive a distorted, one-sided, and often simply ugly idea of life.

At the same time, the possibility of raising children after a divorce by the father is seen as almost a perversion.

In fact, paternal upbringing seems preferable to maternal upbringing:

Men are more mentally and emotionally stable, less likely to show dissatisfaction with their ex-spouse and take it out on their children because they are like the other parent.
The financial situation of fathers is often better - they are usually paid higher salaries compared to women for the same work, and they have greater opportunities for additional income by periodically performing hard physical or unskilled work.
Men are more careful in choosing their next life partner than mothers. A woman clings to any man who pays attention to her, even if he is not suitable for her. considering that she is not listed on the market for love and sexual relationships due to her divorced status and the presence of children. A man rarely responds to signs of attention from a woman he is not interested in.
Dads are much less likely to put psychological pressure on their children about the topic, are less likely to become depressed, and almost never turn their children against their mother and her relatives.
Dads raise more independent children, unlike mothers who, through overprotection, try to compensate even for an over-aged child for the absence of a second parent in the family. Fathers perceive their children as almost adults, while a divorced mother is ready to lead her pre-conscription age son by the hand.
Fathers are much less likely to shift the responsibility for raising children to their relatives, for example, grandmothers. Mothers, more and more often, having achieved the leaving of their son or daughter, give them to their grandmother, sister, aunt or someone else and try to improve their personal life.

Why mothers don't want to give their children to fathers after divorce

There is a very persistent stereotype in society that if a mother left the baby to the father during a divorce, then she is not a mother at all, but a cuckoo. They are ready to stigmatize such a mother for everything, regardless of the interests of the children themselves, the mother’s capabilities and the father’s preferences. A father is a priori recognized by society as unworthy to raise and educate his own children.

Mothers and grandmothers also have a strong opinion that the father will look for a new life partner who will try to force his stepson or stepdaughter out of the house, oppress him, offend him. And the father, not wanting to spoil the relationship with his chosen one, will not take the child’s side. Fairy tales are based on this plot different nations. But life is different from a fairy tale. And clear evidence of this is criminological statistics. Not the stepmother, but the so-called stepfather - another partner of a divorced mother - appears in a significant proportion of crime reports. It is men who tend to offend other people’s children, insult them, beat them, deprive them of walks or treats, humiliate them, and if younger brother or sister, then the older one is made a nanny for him, robbing him of his childhood and developing a persistent hostility towards babies.

Mothers sometimes justify their refusal to give their children to the father by saying that men do not lead a proper life. At the same time, for some reason they prefer not to remember what technological progress gave a long time ago washing machines, vacuum cleaners, multicookers, microwave ovens, dishwashers. Housekeeping can be automated, and women themselves enjoy these benefits of industry. In addition, large shops and cafes offer fresh, ready-made food. Therefore this argument is completely untenable.

Ways to leave children with their father

The most affordable and easiest way for the father to keep his children is to agree on this with his wife and draw up an appropriate agreement. The agreement specifies the personal data of the parents and those children in respect of whom the agreement is drawn up. You can draw up a separate agreement for each child, or you can make provision for all children in one document.

The agreement is recorded on paper and certified by a notary in the presence of both parents.

The same document or a separate one provides for the procedure for maintaining children. The spouse with whom the children will not live is required to pay alimony. Many people do not even suspect this, believing that only the father can be obligated to pay child support.

If the mother does not agree to give the children to the father, the father has the right to defend his rights in court and demand satisfaction of his demands for the transfer of his son or daughter to him.

The father's request to leave the children to him may include:

In a lawsuit demanding a divorce if the father initiates a divorce,
In a counterclaim filed during the consideration of the wife's claim for divorce,
In a separate lawsuit filed after a divorce.

A number of documents must be attached to the claim, which should form the judge’s conviction of the need to leave the children to the father:

Confirmation of the availability of housing or a place to live with children - a document on the ownership of housing, a document on social rent or rental housing,
Confirmation of income sufficient to support children - bank account statement, salary certificate, statement with data on income from the activities of the entrepreneur,
Confirmation of the ability to devote time to children - for example, an approved work schedule,
A petition to involve the guardianship authorities in resolving this dispute,
A petition to call witnesses who can confirm the father’s trustworthiness,
Confirmation of a normal state of health - a certificate of medical examination, an extract from the medical history.

Mothers rarely require such documents. A mother can take her children with her to a rented room in a communal apartment, without having a job and suffering from any illness. The father is believed from all sides, as if he wants not only to exercise his right as a parent, but to get a position with access to state secrets.

The father will have an undeniable advantage over the mother if the mother:

Avoids raising children
Uses drugs or drinks
Leads an immoral or asocial lifestyle,
Suffering from a mental or infectious socially dangerous disease,
Abuses children or one of them,
Abuses parental rights– forces theft, prostitution, begging,
Convicted of a crime against the person.

If the mother looks positive in the eyes of the court, then it will be difficult for the father to get the children transferred to him.

Boys are given to their fathers more often than girls, and schoolchildren more often than preschoolers. Infants are given to their fathers only in extreme circumstances, if the mother is absolutely unreliable.

The court will also take into account the degree of attachment of the children to the parent, the opinion of children over 10 years old and the opinion of the guardianship authorities.

Hello. I'm going to divorce my husband. We have two children, the eldest is 4 years old, the youngest is 1 year and 8 months old. Under what circumstances can my husband sue my eldest child? My husband and I lived in a two-room apartment; my husband and children were registered there. Now we live in a one-room apartment, I am registered here.

Irina

There's an answer

Answers

Polyakova Ekaterina SergeevnaLawyer

In order to sue a child from its mother, you will need:

– evidence that the mother does not fulfill her duties;

– witnesses;

– documents confirming the father’s financial well-being.

Only a court can take a child away from its mother and hand it over to be raised by its father. To achieve this, it is necessary to provide convincing evidence for the consideration of the case that the mother does not fulfill her duties towards the child. This happens if the woman who is in charge of a minor child is an alcoholic or drug addict. All these accusations must be confirmed in the form of certificates from hospitals, dispensaries or from the local commissioner. Also, the father can demand through the court the right to take the child for himself if the mother does not properly care for the child. In cases where a woman leaves her baby at home alone for several days or transfers him to the temporary care of neighbors, and at the same time disappears somewhere unknown, this will be the basis for taking the baby away from such a mother. The only thing you need to remember: evidence alone is not enough; you need to take with you to the trial other witnesses who will confirm such information right in the courtroom.

In cases where the mother takes decent care of the child, looks after him, spends time, plays and develops, it is also possible that the baby may be taken away from her by the child’s father by court decision. This happens due to the fact that a man, as a rule, has more income than a mother who is left alone with a child. And if the baby’s father proves in court that he has a higher source of income, has his own living space (and the child’s mother does not have one) and generally has better living conditions for the children, then there is a possibility that the court will make a decision in his favor. And it will establish the father’s living space as the place of residence of the minor child. In this case, additional witnesses are also required at the court hearing.

According to statistics, in Russia for every 9 single mothers there is 1 father raising a child on his own.

What do these statistics indicate? About the fact that the court fundamentally and consistently leaves children with their mothers despite the protests of their fathers? Or that not all fathers strive to live with their children, care for them, educate them, and ensure their comprehensive development? After all, it is much easier to transfer a sum of money every month, thereby fulfilling a father’s duty.

However, cases when a father tries to sue a child from his wife still happen quite often.

Before we consider in detail how to do this legally, let us dwell on the reasons that in most cases prompt fathers to take the child for themselves.

Reasons why a father (and sometimes a mother) wants to take the child for himself:

Father's love. Some fathers feel strong love to children, want to care for children, directly participate in the upbringing and development of children;
Revenge ex-wife . Taking a child away from its mother by force is a way to take revenge and cause suffering. The interests of the child are not taken into account at all;
Child safety. If a mother leads an immoral lifestyle, this poses a risk to the physical and mental health of the child. In this case, the children will be safer with their father.

In most cases, the child will be better off with his mother. A father who wants the best for his children will not forcefully and rudely sever the attachment between mother and child. After all, for a loving and caring father there are no barriers to communication, education, and financial support for children.

But situations are different! If the intention to take a child from the mother is dictated by the father’s concern for the physical, mental, intellectual and creative development, which the mother cannot provide, this can be achieved through the court.

In this article we will look at how to sue a child from its mother if there are good reasons for this - the interests of the child.

Equal rights of father and mother

First of all, let's see what international and Russian legislation says about the rights of father and mother. Family relations The following regulations are devoted to:

Declaration of the Rights of the Child (November 20, 1959).
Family Code of the Russian Federation;
Civil Code of the Russian Federation;
Resolution of the Plenum of the Supreme Court (dated May 27, 1998).

The Family Code of the Russian Federation determines that the rights and responsibilities of the mother and father are equal. These are rights and responsibilities...

to raise a child;
see the child (if living separately);
take part in the child’s life;
be informed regarding the state of health, education, upbringing, and development of the child;
represent the interests of the child in judicial and other government bodies.

Thus, according to the family legislation of our country, the father has the right to actively participate in the life of the child on an equal basis with the mother. And even living separately cannot serve as an obstacle to this.

Can a father sue a child?

The law affirms the principle of equality between father and mother, but does not determine which parent the child should live with. The resolution of this issue rests with the court.

When making a decision, the court is guided by the principle of equality of parents. But at the same time, the court studies in detail...

moral character of father and mother. Character, tastes, inclinations, social circle, lifestyle - everything that can influence the upbringing and development of a child;
financial situation of parents. Will they be able to provide the child with everything necessary for a full life - a place to live, food, clothing, rest and entertainment?
physical abilities And health status of father and mother. Will they be able to provide care, education, and development of the child until adulthood?
degree of child's attachment to parents. The opinion of the child himself is taken into account - does he want to live with his dad or mom?

So, the moral, material and physical side of the parents, as well as the opinion of the child, are decisive for the court. Based on this, a father who wants to sue a child at any cost must demonstrate to the court his best sides:

Moral– take care of an impeccable reputation. Do not abuse alcohol and smoking, stop a wild lifestyle (visiting nightlife establishments, meeting with suspicious “friends” and “girlfriends”). Avoid rudeness, violence, scandals. Avoid conflicts. Make a favorable impression on neighbors, colleagues, kindergarten teachers and school teachers. Show respect to your ex-wife and take care of the children.

Material- change jobs or find additional sources income. Make sure that housing meets the child’s basic needs (heat and electricity, furniture and household appliances, water supply and sewerage).

Physical– take care of your own health. Pass a medical examination or obtain a doctor’s certificate confirming the absence of dangerous or severe chronic diseases.

In addition, you need to enlist the support of the child. The court takes into account the opinion of a child who has reached the age of 10 (Article 57 of the RF IC).

At first glance, it seems that a child’s opinion is easy to “buy”: bright toys, sweets, attractions, walks... After all, a “Sunday dad”, compared to a mother tired of everyday life, seems better to the child. However, the court will take into account not only children’s delights, but also real manifestations of the father’s care for the child (participation in the education and upbringing of the child, accompaniment in kindergarten, school, clubs and sections, regularity and duration of meetings). Psychologists and teachers help determine the degree of closeness between a child and a parent.

Good mom or rich dad?

There are two common public opinions.

According to the first opinion, the child will definitely be better off with his mother. The father can claim the child only if the mother herself abandons him, leads an immoral lifestyle, has no means of support, uses alcohol and drugs, is violent, and is prone to suicide. In other cases, the court will be on the mother's side.

According to the second opinion, everything is about money. And since dads, as a rule, earn much more than mothers, they also have a much greater chance of suing their child. And it will be better for the child to live with his father “in his bosom” - in full material support, than to survive on alimony and his mother’s pittance earnings.

What is the court's opinion?

As mentioned above, the court evaluates parents according to several criteria, and financial situation is only one of them, and not the most important.

A court decision in favor of the father will be made if the mother is not only poor, but also lacks morality (for example, she drinks or often dates different men) or good health (for example, is disabled or suffers mental disorder). That is, there are several negative factors present at the same time.
A court decision in favor of the mother will be made if she fulfills parental responsibilities at the proper level. If she has financial difficulties (for example, immediately after maternity leave), but she has good health and is trying to get a job, the court has no reason to take the child away from the mother.

Therefore, the father should not rely heavily on his financial security and focus on the mother’s lack of money. Most likely, the father's high earnings will be taken into account when determining the amount of alimony.

How to sue a child? Registration procedure

Suing a child is not an event for one day. You need to be prepared for a long and difficult trial.

The father must adhere to the following sequence of actions:

File a claim for divorce;
Include in the claim a requirement to determine the place of residence of the child with the father, to collect alimony from the mother (or file a separate statement of claim);
Think through arguments, prepare documentary evidence of claims, invite witnesses;
Pay the state fee;
Take part in court hearings;
Get a court decision.

Statement of claim and documents

The statement of claim must include information such as:

Name of the court;
Information about the plaintiff (father) and the defendant (mother) - full name, residential address, contacts;
Data on marriage and divorce;
Information about the child – full name, date of birth, residential address;
Arguments on which the father relies in his demand to take the child away;
Links to evidence;
Link to legislative norms confirming the validity of the requirements;
Requirements for the court: determine the place of residence of the child with the father, collect alimony from the mother for child support, approve the procedure for communication between the mother and the child;
List of applications;
Date of;
Signature.

Documents attached to the statement of claim:

Passport;
Marriage and divorce certificates;
Child's birth certificate;
Certificate from the housing office about place of residence;
Certificate of income at the place of work;
Bank statements;
Certificate of social benefits;
Title documents for real estate and movable property, belonging to the father;
Acts of inspection of housing conditions;
Medical certificates – about the father’s health status, absence of alcohol or drug addiction, mental illness;
Characteristics at the place of work, characteristics from friends, neighbors, educators and teachers of the child;
Other documents.

Documents must confirm the father’s high moral character, material well-being, ability to raise a child, Active participation in life. If the father’s demands are based on the mother’s negative qualities, it is necessary to present documentary evidence to the court. It can be:

Medical certificates confirming the presence of chronic diseases, predisposition to mental illness, dependence on alcohol, drugs, medications;
Characteristics from previous places of work, police departments, sobering stations, guardianship and trusteeship authorities, drug treatment and psychoneurological clinics, correctional institutions;
Testimony of immoral behavior ex-wife;
Documentary evidence of addictions (gambling addiction, shopping, entertainment in nightlife establishments, promiscuity);
Information about whether the ex-wife has relatives who are prone to committing a crime, suicide, mental illness, or addiction.

Note! Crude attempts to embellish oneself and denigrate another are unacceptable to the court. Court hearing- this is not a place where it is customary to sort things out, behave defiantly, use abusive language, or insult. The court does not find out which of the parents is better - the father or the mother. The court is guided by the interests of the child.

The outcome of the case depends on how convincing the arguments in favor of cohabitation between the father and the child are, and how reliable the documentary evidence of the father’s demands is.

You can prepare the documents yourself, or you can enlist the support of a lawyer specializing in family matters.

Where to file a claim?

Disputes about determining the place of residence of children are considered urban or district courts with the mandatory participation of the guardianship and trusteeship authority.

The claim must be filed at the place of residence of the defendant (that is, the child’s mother). If he lives with the plaintiff (father) minor child, he can file a claim at his place of residence.

Involvement of specialists in court proceedings

As already mentioned, consideration of family disputes concerning children occurs with the mandatory participation of the guardianship and trusteeship authority.

To clarify additional circumstances, specialists - teachers, psychologists, psychiatrists - may be involved. For example, if you need to find out the child’s opinion - he wants to live with his dad or mom. A conversation with a specialist can take place either in the courtroom or in another room - in a calm and inviting atmosphere, without pressure from the father or mother.

The opinion of a child who has reached the age of 10 may be decisive if the court is in doubt about who to give preference to – the father or the mother. But this does not mean that the child’s wishes (not always conscious) will necessarily be fulfilled by the court.

With the question “How to sue a child from your wife?” faces some men after divorce. True, it is somehow not customary to talk about this in our country (it is even considered something almost criminal), but the termination of a marriage relationship should not mean the end of communication with a child. And mothers, frankly speaking, are different. Therefore, if you think that your child will be better off with you, then this article is for you.

Is it possible to sue a child from your ex-wife?

Before answering the question of how to sue a child from a wife, I would like to warn those men who fight for children solely in order to annoy their ex-wife. The children are not to blame for the fact that life between you and their mother did not work out, and they should not be held responsible for your mistakes.

If you do this out of good intentions, that is, sincerely believing that it would be better for your child to live with you, then let’s figure out how to sue a child from your wife and whether this can be done at all.

Don't know your rights?

For a long time, judicial practice has shown that it is possible to seize a child from the mother only if she has practically no means of subsistence or leads an immoral lifestyle. Today, this trend has changed: the courts have finally recognized the equal rights of the father and mother in determining the place of residence of the child.

Therefore, if you are determined to keep your child with you after the divorce, you must make your desire known during the divorce process. After all, if there is a child in the family or there is joint property, which the spouses could not share peacefully, the dispute is resolved by the court. It is at this stage that you need to declare your rights to the child, and also indicate for what reasons you believe that your child should have a place of residence with you and not with his mother. It is important to say that the court decision, even if it was not made in your favor, can subsequently be appealed (either in full or in part) to a higher judicial authority.

What does the court pay attention to?

So, we have figured out in general terms how to sue a child from his wife, but we should not forget that the child’s right to live with his mother is enshrined in the Declaration of the Rights of the Child. Restriction of this right is possible only in order to comply with another principle of this declaration, which requires that the child be raised under proper moral and material conditions and have opportunities for development, play and education.

Thus, the court, acting in the interests of the child, must evaluate the following qualities of the parents:

Moral character and physical health. Here we are talking about the lifestyle of both parents, their ability to raise a worthy citizen of the country, as well as physical characteristics to ensure proper care and normal functioning of the child.
Financial situation. Everything is very clear here: in order to provide a child with everything necessary, funds are certainly needed.
Provision of housing and other conditions necessary for organizing the proper maintenance of the child, providing him with the necessary space and everything necessary for normal development and maturation.
Other circumstances that affect (or may affect) the child’s quality of life.

IN modern world The once formidable word “divorce” is heard more and more often and is perceived much easier. This is far from being an exception to the rule. Relationships between couples do not work out for one reason or another, but children together suffer from this to a greater extent. There are also frequent cases when the father, for some reason, decides that the child should live with him, and not with the mother. But such a desire, of course, is not enough. It will take a lot of effort to make this a reality. Moreover, how public opinion, and the position of the court, are almost always on the side of the mother.

The court pays attention to several aspects when considering the case of with whom the child will live. At the same time, he recognizes the equality of spouses. The characteristics of both parents are studied from friends, acquaintances, work colleagues, and neighbors. The material well-being of both the father and mother is determined (whether each of them can provide the child with decent living, upbringing, education, communication with peers, entertainment, etc.), and the availability of their own living space. Their physical health and the amount of time that can be entirely devoted to the child are assessed. Other circumstances may be accepted if applicable. A single factor taken separately, for example, welfare, cannot serve as a basis for making a decision.

The court carefully evaluates what kind of relationship the child has with each parent, to whom he is more drawn and attached. If the baby has brothers or sisters, who do they live with? The child’s opinion is necessarily taken into account, so it is important to prove that he has a wonderful relationship with his father. But it will only have significant significance if the common child is ten years old. It is desirable that the relationship with the child’s mother is not hostile.

There are many factors in which the court will side with the father and rule in his favor. These include: negative reviews from mutual friends, neighbors, friends and colleagues; stories from the child directly about the mother’s anger, aggression, and assault; facts of irresponsibility, lies, betrayal of the baby’s mother; constant change of her place of work or her frequent absence; data on addictions, addictions; chronic depression and suicide attempts. Unsubstantiated allegations will not be considered by the court. You need to take care in advance to support your words with material evidence (for example, certificates from and from a psychologist, receipts for regular purchases of alcohol), collect all kinds of negative characteristics, enlist the help of a local inspector and guardianship authorities. The more witnesses confirm the facts that the child will really be better off with his father, the greater the chances of a positive decision.