How to make your parents like it. Lifehack of a smart girl: how to please his mother

In order not to be needlessly nervous before your upcoming meeting with your parents, first figure out what type your chosen one is. And be sure to ask your loved one in detail about his parents. The more information you have about them, the more chances you have to avoid mistakes.

Option one

The son of overbearing parents. His mother never likes girls. After meeting them, the parent remembers for a long time how ungracefully the guest took the apple from the vase, that she laughed defiantly or, conversely, was aggressively silent. And he torments not only his son, but also relatives and family friends with stories. The man feels like a loser who has once again upset his mother. Who wants scoldings? That's why he's in no hurry to introduce you to your parents.

In general, if you have been dating your chosen one for a year or two (live together), but still have not seen his parents, this is an alarming signal: either he has a problematic family and is not attached to it (or is embarrassed), or he does not relate to you are serious. Neither the first nor the second pleases.

Try to casually remark in conversation that you would be interested to see “the woman who raised such a wonderful son.” If there is no reaction, you can directly ask: “Do your parents want to see who their son is dating? Shall we invite them to the theater or have dinner together?”

This is where the truth should be revealed. Either the man has not thought about it, but is not at all averse to introducing you to each other, or there is a serious reason for hiding you. If in a frank conversation with your loved one it turns out that his mother is generally overly critical of all her son’s friends, abandon the idea. Or (if the parent still wants to see you) arrange a meeting on neutral territory. In such conditions, it will be easier for you to act naturally and not react to possible attacks from a future relative.

Gently find out from your boyfriend what exactly mom didn’t like about girls. If they were all vulgar, smoked or drank a lot in front of her, do not repeat the mistakes of others. Say right out of the gate that you hate tobacco smoke and drink only water. If she is shocked by bright makeup, lightly apply makeup. And so on.

Option two

Usually this The only son single mom or confirmed bachelor 35+ years old, raised by a strong mother and henpecked father. He introduces each of his girlfriends to them, and at the very beginning of the relationship. Without parental approval, he cannot take a step. It happens that the purpose of dating is to console worried relatives who have tormented the guy with questions like: “Do you even like girls?”

And mama’s boys take the girl to visit her mother so that she can help her mother with the housework. This happened to one of my friends. The boyfriend solemnly announced that on the next weekend they were invited to the “family nest” to meet their parents. Masha didn’t sleep for two days, thinking about the appropriateness elegant dress

and gifts for dad and mom. The day before she had her nails done and changed her hairstyle. In the end, it turned out that the “family estate” was a tiny house without amenities, three hours’ drive from Moscow. When they finally got to the dacha, the guy’s parents greeted him casually, seated the guests in the kitchen and attacked their son with questions about the upcoming renovation. Having come to her senses, mom soon asked Masha to set the table and, “if it’s not too much trouble,” to rinse the dishes. “Let's see the future owner of the house in action!” - Dad said cheerfully and winked at Masha. Later it turned out that everything ex-girlfriends, “potential housewives,” helped their parents with housework.

If you like other people's parents, immerse yourself in their concerns, go to visit, help. But don't expect this to be a bonus when your boyfriend decides to marry you. He does not attach much importance to meeting his parents.

Option three

Both you, your boyfriend, and his parents view acquaintance as a sign that the young people are in a serious relationship. Most men prefer to introduce only a close woman to their mothers. The one with whom they plan to date for a long time and, perhaps, even marry her. It is important for them that the parents like the chosen one, and she likes them.

Remember a few simple rules.

Learn the first names and patronymics of your chosen one’s parents in advance. Ask your boyfriend how best to address them: maybe, as is common now, just by name? But if he said to call his mother Sveta, and she herself introduced herself as Svetlana Georgievna, then call her that way.
When mom starts enthusiastically telling family stories, showing photographs from old albums, don’t sit there looking bored. Be sure to ask: “Who is this beautiful girl? You? That’s what I thought – you haven’t changed much.”
Be prepared for the fact that not only parents, but also grandparents, and aunts and uncles will come to this meeting. If faces, names, and stories make your head spin, say with spontaneity, “Sorry if I got someone's name wrong. I'm so worried..."
Find out from your man in advance what his parents like and who they work for. If dad is a collector, ask him to show him the object of his passion. Is your mother a good cook? Ask to write down the recipe for her son's favorite pie.
If your boyfriend’s family is simple, then you shouldn’t come to visit overdressed and frown with disgust when tea is served in old mugs and not in porcelain. Eat everything they offer you. Help your potential mother-in-law set the table. But don't fuss like a housewife. Behave like a well-mannered guest.
If you are approached, respond with detailed sentences. If they don't pay attention to you, continue to be polite and interested. Don't even think about taking out your phone and having fun in social networks or go to the kitchen to call your own mother. You are taking a test, so try to look your best.
When meeting, carefully monitor your parental impulses. If your mom wants to hug you, respond. If you notice that she is tense and does not come close, then you should not bother with kisses. But when saying goodbye, try to come closer to your parents. Those who are allowed into their personal space (30-50 cm) seem closer.

No matter how terrible the first meeting goes, don't be discouraged. If your man is dear to you, then find mutual language it will work with his mom and dad.

You and your boyfriend have been dating for quite some time, and he has come to the decision that you need to be introduced to your parents. This is simply wonderful! For male representatives, this is a responsible and serious step, new level in a relationship. What needs to be done in order to the guy's parents will like it?

You must arrive on time. If you were invited to visit for 4 hours, it is better to arrive a few minutes early than to be late.

Stay as you really are. No need to try meeting the guy's parents, to impress with a lot of information that you are an excellent student, actively take part in various events, an athlete and simply a beauty. It’s just that if we are talking about studies, sports and hobbies, you can say with a smile on your face: “Yes, I like to study,” “And I also run in the morning,” or “Really? I always watch boxing.” Your interests may provide an excuse for future invitations. You should not focus your conversation on your interests; it is better to find out from the parents of your beloved guy about their hobbies.

Dress decently. There are no parents who would be delighted to see their beloved son walking with a girl who is dressed provocatively. You can wear a not too short skirt, preferably a little above the knee, a dress, a moderately bright T-shirt and jeans.
Be sure to watch your speech. Swearing or slang that you use through the word will not make you worthy in the eyes of the guy’s parents. There is no need to talk about any fights at prom or about the “cool disco” you went to yesterday. Just say something about your cat and answer questions politely.

Don't forget about good manners. It sounds corny, but the guy's parents will love your offer to help set the table, clean up after dinner, or just a simple polite thank you. Don’t slurp, don’t start eating until everyone is gathered at the table. You can take with you a small gift for your boyfriend’s mom and dad - candy or cookies.

The most important thing when meeting a guy's friends is don't even think about kissing or hugging a guy in front of them. The most you can do is a quick kiss on the cheek when you meet. There should be no words in your speech that hint about sex when you are talking to a guy.

Be simple and feminine. This, of course, is also a banality. But boyfriend's parents It is important that next to their son there is a girl who has her own opinion. They will simply be delighted with a sweet girl who will gladly help prepare dinner or play volleyball with their son. Really, be yourself! Boyfriend's parents They will appreciate it and love you for it!

Meeting your boyfriend's parents is perhaps the most important event in your relationship after the phrase "I love you." How to please his parents by making the most pleasant impression?

Don't be late

They greet you by their clothes. But neither a modest appearance nor a Hollywood smile will save you if you show up half an hour later than the appointed time. If parents are understanding people, they will accept any excuse, be it monstrous traffic jams or your beloved dog, who had to be urgently taken to the vet, but the sediment will remain. Make an effort and show punctuality at least on the first date with your boyfriend's parents. This is the foundation of a reputation that will be difficult to shake later.

Relax

When communicating with a guy’s parents, provided that you want them to like you, it’s worth turning off the internal control freak for a while. Accept that you are not able to directly influence the feelings and thoughts of the strict couple sitting opposite, especially if the mother is initially negative towards any girl who encroaches on the freedom of her little one. We understand that this is difficult, but try above all to enjoy the communication. In the end, your opinion about your parents is also important - you are not the last person in your boyfriend’s life.

Speak

Silence is definitely golden. And modesty is also held in high esteem. But still, your task is to show what kind of person you are, and how can you do this without actively participating in the conversation? Share your emotions, talk about an interesting experience you had, whether it was a parachute jump or the last theater production you attended. Emotions are the key word. Your knowledge is also valuable, but still, personality and charisma are not built from numbers, facts and diplomas. Although, if you have an honors degree from a leading university in the country, it’s worth mentioning immodestly.

Flatter them

Honesty and objectivity are not what is required of you now. You are not on trial. Of course, there is no need to outright lie about the fact that a 100-kilogram dad is in great shape. But emphasize and exaggerate any external and internal dignity of important interlocutors. Sincere admiration always evokes reciprocal sympathy and puts you in a positive mood.

Be tactful

This also applies to your appearance, and to manners. Necklines, miniskirts and provocative makeup are inappropriate. This does not mean that you need to dress in an “orphan” style. A formal dress, suit or skirt with a blouse, plus discreet jewelry, will emphasize your respectful attitude towards the event and its participants. In general, imagine that you are going to a reception with the Queen of England and dress accordingly. As for behavior, the most important thing is not to show feelings for your boyfriend too actively. No passionate kisses or erotic overtones in the conversation. There was an episode in the series “Friends” when one of the characters, Phoebe, told her boyfriend’s mother that she was grateful to her for her son, who was so wonderful in bed. Needless to say, meeting my parents was a failure.

Have you met interesting guy, it's a pleasure to spend time with him free time, communicate on any topic. You have been dating for several months, begin to think about marriage and dream of having children together.

And then your beloved guy announces to you that the time has come to meet his parents and invites you to come to a gala dinner. Having heard such a statement from the lips of a loved one, you experience a state of shock and ask yourself questions about how to make a good impression and what actions to take to please his closest relatives - his parents?
The main thing in this situation is not to worry in vain and calm your frayed nerves. A walk in the park will help you relax and relieve tension. Drink some chamomile tea and think about the fact that your priority at this stage of development of your relationship with your lover is to establish a trusting, sincere and warm relationship with his mother and father.

After completing an informal meeting held in a narrow family circle, your loved one will ask his relatives what impression his potential bride and future wife made on them.

If during a formal meeting you begin to demonstrate defiant, inappropriate or contradictory behavior, you will not be able to produce good impression and please your parents. The recommendations below will help you not to lose face in the company of your boyfriend’s parents, and to enlist their full support and approval.

1. Be punctual. Come to your appointment on time, do not allow yourself to be late even by a few minutes, or waste time on ridiculous explanations for your absence. Be sure that the parents of your beloved guy will like a responsible and punctual girl who is capable of not breaking her obligations.
2. Follow the rules of etiquette and try to demonstrate modest and diligent behavior. Following this recommendation will certainly help you please the guy's closest relatives - his mother and father. When sitting at the festive table, you should not laugh loudly, comment on the taste of the dishes, look into space with an absent-minded and absent gaze, fidget in your chair or yawn with all your might.
3. Take part in the conversation, make only relevant and meaningful comments during the conversation. Listen carefully to what the parents of your beloved guy tell you, never tell them the details of your personal life that you led before meeting their beloved son.

Don't forget to help your parents as much as you can. You can offer your potential mother-in-law help in preparing holiday dishes, help serve festive table in accordance with the rules of etiquette. When you are planning to go to visit the parents of your chosen one, do not forget to stop by the grocery store to purchase a delicious cake or a set of pastries.
Look stylish. You can awaken a real male in your chosen one and evoke a storm of positive emotions in him by wearing a revealing outfit - high-heeled shoes, fishnet stockings, a miniskirt, a T-shirt with an open neckline. This option will delight your boyfriend indescribably, but with a high degree of probability his parents will not like it. They will consider you a girl of easy virtue who is trying to seduce their son and get rich at someone else's expense.
Reasonable questions arise about what kind of clothes parents will like and how to create a unique and memorable image. Perfect option- wear a skirt that is below the knee length and a pastel-colored blouse. Surely the guy’s parents belong to the category of people of the “old school” and puritanical views. They are sincerely convinced that a modern girl is not decorated jewelry And revealing outfits, but a radiant smile and natural modesty. To please your fiancé's mother and father, be kind and polite.
Don't brag while talking. Avoid any mention of your achievements and merits, do not strive to appear in a favorable light and gain everyone's approval. You should not advertise the fact that your dad is an oligarch or a deputy. You cannot mention your high level of material security, existing family ties with famous people, belonging to high society. If you boast about your popularity or wealth, and look down on the guy’s relatives, you will never be able to please them and establish a trusting relationship with them.

Use the following tips to ensure that your meeting with parents results in the creation of trusting and warm relationships between all participants in the meeting.

First meeting with the parents of the chosen one. How to make a good impression?

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