Men are always unpredictable. Situations are different. Sometimes girls do not understand their life partners. What to do if a guy is rude? This is the eternal question of young inexperienced girls. This article is the answer to all the questions of the female half of society.

Some women say that if a man is rude, then you should answer him in kind. This is a banal answer. You always need to think deeper because different things happen in life. All life situations are different, and you shouldn’t decide everything according to the same rule. First of all, a woman should think about why a guy is being rude. You can calmly talk with him or meet with his friends, acquaintances or colleagues. At a meeting, you don't need to directly ask them about your boyfriend, otherwise they might suspect something bad. Many may simply remain silent and not answer a woman’s questions. Some people in his social circle will tell everything about him. There is no guarantee that you can find out everything, but at least some of the information. Having found out the reason, a woman should think about how to solve this or that situation in her favor. A smart lady would do this.

Often completely different situations occur. When a man is rude, a woman breaks up with him. She does not answer his restless phone calls and does not come to scheduled meetings. She thinks that she will have many such men. Proud women do just that.

These are two opposite situations. In the first example, the woman tries to maintain her relationship with her lover, but in the second case it is clear that she easily breaks it off. Everyone knows that relationships that last for years are much better than those that last just a couple of weeks. It's safe to say that the first case is more ideal than the second example.

Each woman chooses for herself which scheme to follow. Many women believe that they would rather keep in their lives the person whom they have known for many years and will try to establish a relationship with him. It is difficult to let new people into your world, especially unfamiliar men. Pride is not the best good friend for problems related to a man. Pride will lead to disappointment, because sometimes men themselves are proud. Two proud people are unlikely to change the situation in a positive way.

It is important to know that rudeness, at its core, is a natural quality of men. When a woman is rude, it is very ugly. Sometimes rudeness makes a man beautiful, if it does not go beyond the limits of reason, that is, the man becomes brutal. It is necessary to see the difference between rudeness and a man's strong character. These are different things. Men are not attracted to such a quality as softness.

What to do with male rudeness if a woman cannot stand it? Firstly, we need to make sure that the man understands that she is offended, that she is a defenseless person. Tears help a lot. Many men cannot look calmly at women's tears. They begin to regret and repent. Secondly, during conversations you can constantly tell him about shame. He must understand that his behavior is shameful. When loved ones tell people about something all the time, it acts like medicine. They begin to think with the thoughts of their loved ones, but the words about the fact that she is ashamed of him should be heard many times. Many psychologists recommend this advice. When it is necessary to change a man’s thinking, it is necessary to express a negative attitude towards this or that thing, and in the end the man agrees with the woman.

Men always look like children. The main thing is to learn how to manage them. When he repents that he behaved badly, that there was no need to be rude, then his behavior must be explained to him. It is worth saying that he is strong, and she is weak. It is important to note what offended her, that is, thereby trying to arouse pity in him. When a woman seems to have a strong personality, her man does not feel sorry for her, and he believes that she can handle it herself. It turns out that women themselves are sometimes to blame for the fact that their other half is rude to them. There is no need to become men. Everyone must remain themselves. Nature created men strong, and they are obliged to fulfill their functions, and women - weak and they cannot take the place of a man in a relationship.

From all that has been said, the most important thing can be highlighted. Men are protectors of women, not abusers. Women are weak and delicate creatures. Everyone should remain like this. If a woman wants to be strong like a man, then her partner will see in her the same personality as himself, as a result of which rudeness on his part may appear, rather than tenderness and pity towards her.

You should never sort things out with a man with a scandal. Don't shout loudly at him because of his rudeness. This will only lead to more arguing and hurtful words. The conversation with him should be calm.

According to psychologists, a man is rude to a woman in order to attract her attention. This is such a complex. It seems to him that she is not paying attention to him. When he is rude, she begins to react to it, as a result of which the man feels like a self-sufficient and strong person.

The reason for male rudeness is always different. A woman needs to carefully look at the situation and understand the reason. If rudeness is caused by one of the reasons described above, then everything can be corrected. Tenderness and affection, intelligence and patience of a woman will fix everything. If this situation repeats itself day after day, and the man is not going to change his behavior, then this should not be tolerated! Women don't deserve to be treated like this!

The beginning of your family life it was reminiscent of heaven - the husband was caring, affectionate, calm. But now he snaps at any reason, can be rude even in the presence of strangers? What to do if your husband is a boor? How to behave?

Rudeness and abuse from a loved one is very offensive! Surely you, swallowing tears, are trying to somehow change the situation: you gently ask them to behave somehow differently, or, on the contrary, you flare up and try to be rude in response. But rarely do such measures help. Is this really the end of your love?

Actually, not at all! There are many reasons why a man may behave boorishly. Let's try to figure them out.

The first reason is parents. If in your spouse’s family, swearing is not out of the ordinary, but a common way of talking to your wife or child, then there is nothing surprising, your husband simply behaves the same way with you, like his own dad. Yes, at first he tried, showed himself with the best side, but now he began to use the method of resolving conflicts that his parents had already tried more than once. What to do in such a situation? Try to choose a quiet evening, have a heart-to-heart talk with your loved one. Ask him about his family, and somehow casually tell him that he has begun to behave the same way as his father. Ask your husband directly: does he like the relationship in your mom and dad’s family? You probably don’t want everything to be the same in our family, do you? Then please stop being rude to me.

Or maybe the husband's rudeness is happening due to communication problems ? Most likely, you have grown apart and no longer understand each other. And the husband ultimately perceives your words as ordinary reproaches, so he snaps back. Try to analyze - at what moments does your spouse begin to be rude? Maybe you really find fault with him, express all your complaints and grievances? And he's just defending himself. How to fix this situation? Believe me, it’s real and not difficult! Just tell him about your feelings more often, tell him that you don’t like hearing rude words addressed to you. Most likely, in response, your husband will begin to list his complaints against you. But try not to be offended, just say: “Yes, maybe you’re right. Let's try to change. Just promise me you won’t be rude anymore.”

Another one possible reason rudeness on the part of the spouse - problems at work . Maybe my husband is just not having the best time in his service right now. He gets irritated, all his thoughts are directed at the fact that he may lose his job and the opportunity to feed and provide for his family. And since he cannot take his anger out on his boss or colleagues, then you get all the big shots. If you understand that your situation is exactly like this, then try to gently tell your husband that his behavior does not suit you. Let him know that you are also worried about his problems, so hearing rudeness from him is doubly offensive to you. Take an interest in your spouse’s affairs more often, listen to his complaints - this way your loved one will relieve tension.

He stopped loving you. Alas, this situation occurs quite often. Perhaps your husband has met another woman and now cannot decide what to do. He simply just needs a reason to leave the family, loudly slamming the door. So he torments you with his rudeness and rudeness.

What to do in this case? If, in addition to boorish behavior, you have other reasons to suspect your husband of infidelity, then think about the cost of the issue. Are you ready to tolerate his behavior, trying to save your family? Or are you still hoping to restore the relationship? Or will it be easy for you to simply cut this Gordian knot? Do right choice yourself.

When a woman hears insults directed at herself, it is always unpleasant. I want to either respond in kind or stop communicating altogether. A different situation arises when constant insults and humiliations are hurled at us from outside own husband. Here everything is different: his words are much more painful and unpleasant, because the husband knows well where and how to “hit” with a word so as to more accurately hook, hurt, humiliate. In addition, it is much more difficult to stop hearing nasty words, to leave and not return - we are connected by marriage, financial dependence, children and shared living space, friends and relatives. When choosing what to do in such a situation, we often literally rush around, but we just can’t gather our thoughts and ultimately decide on some rational action. And the situation lasts for years. And here it is very important to understand not “what to do?”, but what will happen if you DO NOT make the right choice.

The nature of verbal sadism: why does the husband constantly insult?
What negative consequences can there be if a husband yells, insults and humiliates, especially in front of children?

Why does a husband insult: the nature of male sadism

In order to figure out what to do if your husband constantly reproaches, humiliates and insults, you need to understand the very essence of what is happening - what is the reason for this behavior.

Often, it seems to us that the reason lies in a woman who really “didn’t have time”, “didn’t do it”, “didn’t please” or “bad mother”, “bad cook”, “unkind wife”. But this is not so - all these are just reasons for a man to find fault and pour out his negativity (accumulated frustrations). The real reason lies in the fact that the husband in such a couple is deliberately verbally sadistic, deriving pleasure from humiliating the weaker person. It is impossible to confuse him with any other person - after all, in the end, we are all human - and we can swear and say a bad word. But here is a special case - insults from such a husband always stand out as monstrous dirt; in his vocabulary there are toilet expressions that are not intended to be called names, but rather to bring pain, offend and humiliate.

System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan easily identifies such husbands - these are the owners of the anal vector in states of unfulfillment or underdevelopment. You can read in great detail about these people, all their ins and outs, in the articles “Who beats their wives and writes nasty things on the Internet” and “Psychopathology of dirty desire”. Every wife who is subjected to insults and humiliation in everyday life can easily recognize her husband in the collective images of these articles.

The essence of the situation is that it is impossible to change such a husband: neither by persuasion, nor conspiracies, nor coding, nor hypnosis, nor, especially (!) servility to him. Therefore, there is no point in expecting that everything will pass by itself and change for the better. It is necessary to act - and not to change it, but first of all in search of protection for yourself and your children.

A blow to children: what happens when a husband humiliates and insults his wife?

It has long been known that women adapt more easily than men to different situations, including adversity in life. For example, they adapt more easily when emigrating and change professions. Moreover, in our mentality, women are more patient than anywhere else. Therefore, it is not surprising that our women easily accept all the insults and humiliations from their husbands, gradually getting used to them. And thus they make a fatal mistake.

When a husband insults and humiliates his wife and yells nasty things at her, she receives a painful blow to her mental health. Even if she is patient with this, it still does not bring anything good. Moreover, all such attacks always increase over time: if at first there was only one rude word, then there are a dozen of them, and then a blow may follow. As a result, a woman cannot be fulfilled in life, find herself in work or hobbies, or feel love and joy. All that remains for her is to expect more and more attacks every day.

But our children receive the biggest blow from such verbal violence. It only seems so, that for a child it is very important to have a father: even a despot, even a humiliating and name-calling one, even a drinker. After all, this is his own father, the women console themselves. More more woman I am sure of this if the father does not touch the children, but takes out all his anger on her: he calls her names, humiliates, maybe even beats her, but it’s okay - she must continue to endure, for the sake of the same marriage and financial security.

But in fact, this is a huge misconception: for a child, the mother is the person who provides him with protection. When a mother is yelled at, when she is humiliated, when she is hurt, the child loses a sense of security and receives stress, which is always expressed very badly. For example, some children may begin to lie and steal, others may become very afraid of the dark and death, and others may become stubborn or torture animals.

As a rule, we do not connect these two events: humiliation and insults from the husband on the one hand, and troubles with the child on the other. But in fact, there is a very direct connection between them - and as soon as the mother is assured of peace, she will stop twitching and fearing the next attack of her sadistic husband, everything will work out with the child.

The most negative development scenario may be if the child has a sound vector. Such children have very sensitive ears and, in principle, they need silence, calm, and quiet sounds. When dad yells bad words at mom, which in their meaning mean insults and humiliation, the sound child not only loses the feeling of security, like all other children, he also receives a huge blow to the most sensitive area - the ears. Unable to help but hear screams, insults and humiliation, he can gradually lose touch with the outside world, withdraw and withdraw into himself, even to the point of autism, schizophrenia.

What to do if your husband constantly insults and humiliates you?

The main thing to understand is:

If you don't do anything, it won't stop.

Moreover, this will continue to intensify. And yet, it will definitely have negative consequences. Therefore, a woman, especially if she is a mother, simply needs to take actions that will help in the current situation.

I always knew that my husband had a hot temper, but his temper had bypassed me before. But gradually my husband began to shout at me and might say something unpleasant. I pretended (probably this was my mistake) that I didn’t notice anything. Now, when my husband is not in a good mood, he uses me like a whipping girl: he distorts my words, he is rude, he can even call me names! And when it cools down, he says “in his own defense” that it was my fault that I brought him to such a state.
I’ve tried to talk to him more than once, but it’s all in vain, I’m exaggerating, they say. It’s very rare to hear the words “Well, I’m sorry” from him, and they are said in such a tone that I understand that this is a favor. I have always been against this behavior, but Lately I feel that I have become nervous, angry and that I am about to answer my husband in the same way. Please advise how to improve the situation.
Irina Well, alas, this happens. Of course, the situation in the family is quite tense, and if nothing is done, it can go far. Therefore, it is important to solve it at a stage when there is still a desire and opportunity to change something.

Shout and be heard?
It’s hard to believe, but this is exactly how overly emotional statements are explained when sorting out relationships. It seems to a person that he cannot shout to his partner, both literally and figuratively, so he raises his voice. This is clear. Well, what about rude words? Psychologists have an explanation for this as well.
Rough and even profane language is always emotionally charged and is used in order to convey one’s thoughts even more “accessibly.” But seriously, the reasons for the not always adequate behavior of men is that they usually have more restrained behavior than us women. It is we who react emotionally to every little thing, but they accumulate and accumulate their discontent, internal tension grows, and then suddenly boom - and “you, a bad person, ruined his life.”
Another reason why a husband is rude may lie in the so-called “pattern behavior.” Simply put, in conflict situations the spouse behaves the way his parents behaved.

Take care of youself
It’s probably not very pleasant to read this, but sometimes a woman whose husband is constantly rude should think about whether she has put herself in such an unenviable position. After all, as people say, “you want to hit a hunchbacked back,” but psychologists put it more delicately: the victim always finds his tyrant. What can you do if this is true, at least partially? We need to find a middle ground between “I’d rather remain silent out of harm’s way” and “I’ll defend my opinion until I’m hoarse.” Try to look at the situation from the outside, let him speak, and when the “fountain of emotions” dries up, calmly identify his actions and tell him about your feelings. For example, “You are screaming now. Why are you doing it? When you do this, I feel offended and want to defend myself.” Agree with your husband that, no matter how heated the argument may be, you will not get personal. After all, this is humiliation. Namely, from this, first of all, a man must protect his half.

Work for two
If you understand that the cause of your problems is your husband’s choleric temperament, try to convince him to seek help or advice (for some reason this word sounds safer for men) from a good family psychotherapist. However, this is not always easy to do. In any case, try to come to an agreement with your husband (when he is in good mood) about a few rules at a time when he feels like he's about to explode. If you happen to respond to your husband “in return,” they will also be useful to you.
To express your emotions, you need to choose a special place in the apartment. The main thing is that it is not the kitchen or the bedroom - we subconsciously consider these places to be the most intimate, so they should not be associated with conflicts.
During a “speech” you can raise your voice, but calling names and insulting is a no-no. Also, you can't interrupt each other. If you still have difficulties with the latter, try this psychological technique. Choose a small object (a pen, a TV remote control, a bottle of perfume) and agree that the person holding the object has the right to vote.
Physical pressure in the family is unacceptable not only to people, but also to things. And you cannot argue your opinion by throwing or breaking things.
If you feel like your emotions are getting the better of you, start communicating using notes. Thus, it will not be possible to interrupt or raise your voice. Yes, and calling people names, most likely, will not work, because the statements will be more constructive and thoughtful.

It shouldn't be like this!
It’s a completely different matter when such behavior from your husband is the style of your relationship. He is firmly convinced that his behavior is absolutely normal and not rudeness at all, but just mild criticism? It's time for heavy artillery. During your next performance, try to discreetly film it on your mobile camera or at least record it on a voice recorder. And when he is complacent, let him view or listen to the “compromising evidence.” If after this he does not think about his behavior, more drastic measures are needed. It's time to think about what good you are getting from your marriage. Stability, habit, material security are, of course, important, but your self-esteem and self-esteem cannot be sacrificed for this. You should be aware that many psychologists and women's rights organizations consider behavior in which one person regularly verbally abuses another as emotional abuse. I am sure that if you really want to change the situation for the better, you will succeed! And your most faithful helpers in this will be self-respect and the belief that you deserve only the best.

Look at you
You, in turn, also control yourself, because, let’s be honest, women know how to “nail” and “bring to white heat” like no one else. Do you allow yourself to make negative statements about his earnings? Do you question his abilities, criticize him in front of strangers? Any man perceives such behavior as humiliation, psychologists say. Someone withdraws, becomes apathetic, and someone will defend themselves with the same weapon - humiliation, only in the form of rude and offensive words. Therefore, always remember what kind of husband you want to have next to you. Smart, strong, successful? Then treat him that way.