My husband keeps kicking me out of the house

Asks: Dusya, Moscow

Gender: Male

Age: 35

Chronic diseases: not specified

Hello, We have been living together for three years, and all this time, my husband can abruptly stop talking to me and goes to sleep in another room. This may last 2-3 weeks, they may start kicking you out of the house, taking away your keys, insulting you, etc., and then, as if nothing had happened, he comes up and says let’s make peace. And I didn’t quarrel. 3 weeks ago the same thing happened again, but now he says that he doesn’t want to live with me anymore, he doesn’t make contact at all. Every day he asks when I will move out, deliberately provokes me into a scandal, I hold on as best I can so as not to break down. And this time the comb will do nasty things, it might not be flushed in the toilet, it might get dirty on purpose, where I cleaned, etc. I do not understand what is going on. Maybe I provoked him with something, he doesn’t say, and I myself can’t guess. Please give me practical and correct advice on what I should do. I don't want to break up with him. But I myself cannot understand the reason for all this. Help me please.

3 answers

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Hello, Dusya! And after such three weeks of silence, did you ask him why he behaves this way? For a normal person, this behavior is very strange. Have you asked your family or friends if something like this has happened before?
Sincerely, Elena

Dusya 2018-04-06 20:01

Unfortunately, there is no point in asking his mother, for her he is the best. And she will tell him anyway, and it will be another scandal. From the beginning of our relationship, he was jealous of me, and he invented all these men with whom I am cheating. This always infuriated me, I never reacted to this nonsense, which hurt him even more. He is constantly offended by something. When he lets go, he comes up and makes peace. And he says the reason, but that’s how it happened. He doesn't speak now. He does not consider it necessary to apologize for his insults. He deliberately provokes me into conflicts. He knows how to hurt and offend me. And I'm an emotional person. I never keep anything to myself; I express it immediately after the fact. Sometimes He brings me to a state of complete hysteria, I break down and can no longer control myself. And he turns it around in his own way, like I’m sick and need treatment. And he doesn’t want to live with me, and sleeps in another place, and now he told me to pack my things and leave. There is no way to make contact. All my attempts to talk in a calm manner irritate him.

Dusya, if there really is no reason, and he periodically kicks you out, but this smells of psychiatry, here the person behaves inappropriately, because physically he cannot do otherwise. This is from your words.
The best thing you can do in your situation is to go to a family psychologist together. Because the vision of the situation may be different for you and for him.
Sincerely, Elena.

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1. I live with my husband in a house that belongs to my mother, they are not registered. Mom lives in another city. I am filing for divorce from my husband, he refuses to move out of the house, living together is impossible. How is it possible to kick him out?

1.1. The owner of the property has the right to file a lawsuit to evict him, or you with a power of attorney from the owner.

2. We lived with our common-law husband for 8 years, 07/18/19. The husband died. His parents want to kick the one they gave him out of the house. And take our earned money together from his account, 500,000 rubles. Is there a chance to sue at least part of the money?

2.1. By not registering your marriage in the manner prescribed by law, you have lost the guarantees of protection of your rights.
Next, in court, you will need to prove the running of a joint household.
Code of Civil Procedure of the Russian Federation Article 56. Obligation of proof

1. Each party must prove the circumstances to which it refers as the basis for its claims and objections, unless otherwise provided by federal law.
2. The court determines what circumstances are important for the case, which party must prove them, and brings the circumstances up for discussion, even if the parties did not refer to any of them.

3. More than 3 years have passed since the divorce. The house was purchased during marriage. There was no division of property. Does my husband have the right to kick me out of the house, write me out, or sell the house without my consent?

3.1. Hello!
If the house was registered in the name of the spouse, but there was no division of property, then he has the right. But he can only discharge you through the court. If necessary, you can try to go to court for the division of jointly acquired property, indicating that you believed that everything acquired during marriage is automatically joint property, etc.

3.2. You can file for division at any time, such as (whose rights will be violated.

4. My mother-in-law is threatening to kick my entire family out of the house that belongs to her, everyone is registered there, my wife (the owner’s daughter), I, my husband, and our 3-year-old son. Can she carry out her plans and do we have any protection?

4.1. She has every right to do this, because... is the owner of this property, if you do not check out or move out, she has the right to file a lawsuit for deregistration and eviction. The best you can do is to gain time and delay the eviction.

4.2. Good afternoon.
Only in court in accordance with Article 31 of the RF Housing Code. There is protection - in the event of a legal dispute, you have the right to ask for the right to live in this residential premises, but only temporarily.

5. Please help me, I’m 8 months pregnant, my husband kicked me out of the house. He’s a military man, how to properly file a divorce and what is needed for this? Should I enroll my child in it or not? And is it possible to apply for alimony and maintenance now? My husband is in the Murmansk region, I am in the Kaliningrad region.

5.1. Hello!
An application for divorce can be filed in court, but at the place of residence of the husband. If you file for divorce + alimony, then you can go to court at your place of residence. Alimony can be collected only after the birth of the child, as well as funds for one’s maintenance.
Therefore, you should wait until the baby is born and apply for both requirements at once.
Good luck to you!
Lawyer in Kaliningrad, t. 8 911 458 37 17

5.2. Good afternoon.
You must submit a statement of claim to the magistrate at the place of your registration or your husband’s registration for divorce and collection of alimony. State the duty is 600 rubles. Attach the original marriage certificate and a copy of the child’s birth certificate to the claim. In the same claim you need to ask to establish alimony for yourself! After the birth of the child, it will be possible to establish child support for the child.

Alimony for a spouse is always set in a fixed amount, usually in the amount of the subsistence level in the region. As for child support, as a general rule, child support for one child is set at 1/4 of the father’s total income. However, if the child’s father does not work or receives part of the salary “in an envelope,” then this is the basis for establishing alimony in a fixed amount in the amount of the subsistence level for the child in the region.
The child will be enrolled in it anyway.
Alimony can be collected without divorce.
The main thing is to correctly draw up and substantiate such a statement of claim, which will be difficult for you to do on your own, without the help of a lawyer. Contact a lawyer on our website personally, he will help you draw up such a statement of claim and give all the necessary explanations.

5.3. Good afternoon Karina, yes, you can already apply for the collection of alimony for your maintenance; this person must be in the father column so that he will continue to pay alimony for the maintenance of the child (children).

5.4. Good afternoon Karina. You can file an application for divorce at your place of residence. A child must have a father, I don’t see any point in not recording the father in the column. You can apply for alimony right now at your place of residence in the magistrate’s court; you don’t have to be divorced to do this. You can also apply for child support for yourself until the child reaches 3 years of age. (Article 89 SK) Good luck to you.

42.5. Hello. Apply for division of property, unless of course the house was purchased during marriage. It won’t matter who bought it or who it was registered to.

42.6. Good day to you. If you were registered there, then you had the right to evict only by court decision. I wish you good luck in resolving your issue.

42.7. Hello, Oksana.
To answer your question, you need to know your situation in more detail, first of all, who is the owner of the property? When did you purchase your home?

If you find it difficult to formulate a question, call the toll-free multi-line phone 8 800 505-91-11 , a lawyer will help you

Hello! I am 23 years old, my husband is 30. We have been married for 2 years, before that we lived in the same place for 1.5 years. We have a 2 year old son. After finishing school and entering college, I married my husband, and after a while I became pregnant. I left work on maternity leave, took an Academy job at the institute, and now I work at home as a nail technician. Our problem is that with any quarrel, it may not even be significant. My husband starts telling me that I should do as he says. And if I don’t do this, he will take me to live with my parents. Every time we have a fight, he threatens me. He says: “You won’t do as I said, you’ll pack your things and go to your parents,” “It’s not in your position to say anything against me,” hinting that he’ll kick me out. I don’t earn much and I have nowhere to live except in his apartment. He bought the apartment before the official marriage. And in general, sometimes he kicks me out in plain text: “pack your things and get out of here.” I can’t go to my parents, I just don’t even have a place to stay. I'm tired of being humiliated! Every time I hear that you are being driven away... I get hysterical, I start crying because I’m afraid to be left alone with the child. He does not agree to go to a psychologist! Tell me what to do? Ps "the house is always clean, food...first, second and compote. In this regard, I am a responsible person and a decent wife"

Mariana, hello.

Analyze your self-esteem, the way you present yourself to your husband.

Ideally, you should succeed in such a way that he should be afraid of losing you and frightening you off with something. You are still young, think about your image, your behavior, your sexual behavior. Light up your husband with your energy so that he is dependent on you (sorry Lord, I’m teaching you how to manipulate your husband)))).

You are both victims of your own complexes. You are afraid of loneliness, he is afraid of loneliness and emphasizes his superiority. Be wiser, relieve stress!

Timofeeva Nina Gennadievna, psychologist Chita

Good answer 17 Bad answer 5

Hello, dear readers! During a quarrel, we all change beyond recognition and commit terrible acts for which we feel ashamed. We offend loved ones and behave inappropriately. If a loved one or husband kicks you out of the house, what should a woman do? This is exactly the question we will discuss today. Tune in and leave your comments.

I will try to give advice on what to do if there is a child in the family, how to fight, if the apartment is his, what he generally wants to achieve with these words. But let's start with the main thing - when such words are said.

Why does a man do this?

Let's consider a situation where your spouse says that it's time for you to move out every time you have a fight. Why is he doing this and what does he want to achieve? Many women think that he is trying to get rid of his wife. In fact, this is not necessarily the case.

It is likely that when talking about moving, he uses: “Don’t forget who’s in charge. You must listen to me,” he seems to be saying.

The husband blackmails the woman, forces her to agree with his opinion and accept his model of behavior, knowing that the wife has nowhere to go, nor to go. Therefore, in order to stay, she is obliged to obey him unquestioningly.

If this is your case, I can immediately suggest a book that will be useful - Gennady Starshenbaum “Difficult characters. How to deal with them". It talks about how to communicate with neurotics, masochists, and so on. You will be able to develop a strategy that will allow you to disarm your opponent and deprive him of the best means of influence, in his opinion.

A woman with two children, in order not to traumatize the child’s psyche, will really agree to everything. This is what my husband uses. If the quarrel has reached a dead end and escalated to the limit, then the man will want to stop it by all means, and the best way to scare the enemy is to shock him and mention a possible move.

How to cope if your husband scares you about moving

If your husband is talking about moving only to subjugate his wife, then you can cope with this situation by showing that leaving does not scare you. But you are not going to leave anywhere until you clarify the relationship. In such situations, how to insist on conversation and discuss issues in which it is impossible to agree, I...

At the moment of a quarrel, you should not appeal to the voice of reason and convince your husband that divorce and separation are not things that, in principle, can be said, but that what he is doing is pure manipulation. Wait until your emotions calm down and you can talk calmly. Also, try to convince yourself that moving is not such a scary thing.

Look, by saying these words, your husband is trying to scare you. You will have to forget about your fear to bring it back to reason. He must realize that his method no longer works. Only after realizing this will he stop manipulating you.

I can offer you a book “The age of anxiety. Fears, Hopes, Neuroses, and the Search for Peace of Mind by Scott Stossel to combat feelings that other people try to use against you. I assure you that as soon as you believe in yourself and can get rid of unpleasant emotions, life will become much easier.

The worst thing?

Do not forget that a husband can talk about moving not only to manipulate and blackmail. Some, even with their words during quarrels, seem to prepare a woman for an inevitable breakup. You can understand this if you find yourself in a similar situation. Unfortunately, there are no standardized indicators here, so you will have to rely on your intuition and ability to clarify the situation.

What to do in this case? And again he will help you in a calm atmosphere. You need to find out what exactly doesn’t suit your spouse and whether he sees alternative ways to solve the problem other than separation or divorce.

Unfortunately, you will not be able to escape from this situation. Sooner or later the topic will be opened, but by a man, and not just during a quarrel. Remember, all the most important words are always spoken in a half-whisper.

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Family life is a whole science; not everyone manages to master it perfectly. Some people find it incomprehensible how you can get along with a person who has a different view on everyday things that are familiar to you. Disputes on such a topic most often turn into scandals, and they often end in tears. The wife kicks her husband out of the house. What should a man do in this situation?

Why does he kick you out?

Every effect has its own cause. If a wife kicks you out of the house, it means she has some reason for this action. Try to understand the woman. Don't take small things into account, think globally. It is unlikely that your latest quarrel about scattered socks is the real cause of the scandal. Most likely, this was the last straw. Analyze your habits and think about which ones irritate your wife the most. Perhaps the girl hates scattered things or unwashed dishes. Perhaps you do not help your wife with household chores at all. If you can’t find the reason on your own, don’t hesitate to ask the woman. If your wife follows the principle and does not say what exactly you did wrong, ask your friends. Sometimes, being in the midst of a scandal, you may not notice obvious facts. When the cause is found, try to eliminate it. Yes, you may have to break your character or make concessions, but this must be done in order to save love.

What to do if you kicked me out?

Men are less emotional creatures than women. Therefore, when a wife kicks her husband out of the house, the person believes that this is the end of the relationship. But this may not be the case. The fact is that a woman cannot live in conditions of eternal peace. Every person needs a dose of adrenaline from time to time. If your wife has no hobbies and her whole life revolves around home and work, it is not surprising that she will try to tickle her nerves at your expense. Scandals can be fun for a woman. And being a little carried away by the process, your wife will throw you out the door. She may think that you understand her game and therefore in 10 minutes you will return and bring flowers from a nearby store. But expectations do not always correspond to reality. A man can go to a friend, not to buy flowers. Therefore, if you are kicked out, the first thing to do is try to reconcile. Put yourself in the shoes of a bored woman and entertain her. Make a beautiful and romantic gesture, after which your wife's heart will definitely thaw.

Is it worth saving a family because of a child?

Well, what if your wife kicks you out of the house not as a joke, but seriously? In this case, you need to leave. Men feel responsible for the family and existing children. Therefore, many fathers do not dare to break off relations with a brawler, fearing that in this case the child will not have a father. It is better to let a child grow up without a father than to listen to scandals every day. Children always believe that for their parents they are the center of the universe. And if mom and dad quarrel, it means their sun is to blame. This is exactly what any normal child thinks. Don't make your baby feel guilty. Don't try to mend relationships that are broken into small pieces. Naturally, there is no need to abandon the child. Explain to your child that mom and dad have problems and now they will live separately.

Contact a psychologist

If two adults understand that they love but cannot live together, then they should go to a specialist. Psychological help is not a panacea, but it allows you to look at your own life with different eyes. A man may not know the real reason why his wife kicked him out of the house. Not everyone knows what to do in such a situation. A psychologist will help the couple establish a normal and frank dialogue. Sometimes people are afraid to have a heart-to-heart talk for the reason that they do not know what their frankness may lead to. If everything is under control and the psychologist gives the green light, not only the reasons for today’s quarrels can leak out, but also the grievances that have accumulated during their time together. Are you afraid to turn to a family psychologist because you don’t know how your friends will react? Believe me, no one cares about your personal problems and how to solve them.

What if there is a divorce?

Does your wife say every day that she can't live with you? Some men believe that this is a kind of way of manipulating their consciousness. But in fact, you should understand that there is some truth in every joke. Your wife may well file for divorce, regardless of your wishes. Can she kick you out of the house? If the apartment belongs to a woman, then maybe. But only if you have not made joint purchases to furnish your living space. So if you come to the property of your beloved woman, you need to prepare yourself a safety cushion in advance. Furnish the premises at your own expense. This will show the woman the seriousness of your intentions, and at the same time strengthen your rights to the apartment. If the living space is legally yours, then there is no need to worry. Legally, a woman cannot kick you out of the house.

When an ex-wife kicks her husband out of the house, she must have good reasons for her action. If the apartment is shared, then the woman has no right to kick the man out.

If you decide to leave

The situation when a wife kicks her husband and child out of the house is very commonplace. This happens to young mothers whose husbands are much older than them. The girl hasn’t had enough time yet; she has a wind in her head. No maternal instinct has awakened in her; the only thing that worries the young lady is choosing an outfit for the next party. You need to leave such a flighty girl immediately. Do not be afraid to destroy the family or take responsibility for the child yourself. But you shouldn’t leave the apartment to your wife. Do you think this is a noble gesture? File for divorce and demand division of property. A woman must understand that she needs to pay for any mistakes. Evil cannot be left unpunished.

Is it worth going back?

When leaving your wife, be sure to tell her that you will not return. And don’t come back, even if you really want to. Otherwise, a woman may think that you are a convenient object for manipulation, and not a real man. A person who does not keep his word is not worthy of respect. A person who does not learn from his mistakes cannot be considered complete. If your wife constantly kicks you out of the house, leave. Why put up with a brawler and ruin your nerves? But always warn that now you will leave and never return. It makes no sense to fall back on the same rake, even if it is your favorite one. A person should always remember the reason why his relationship fell apart. Do you think people change? No. Most people don't do any work on themselves. Therefore, there is no need to return to where you felt bad. It is better to spend time looking for a worthy object for love.

What should I do to avoid being kicked out?

Every person is unique. But the problems that arise in relationships are most often the same. Above was the answer to the question of what to do if your wife kicked you out of the house, is it worth returning? The negative answer to this should serve as a lesson for many. What to do to avoid quarrels and scandals? You need to be an attentive and sensitive person. Take care of your wife, ask her how she is doing and how her day went. Be sure to make concessions. You won't be considered henpecked if you give in from time to time. If your wife is tired, wash the dishes or floors, prepare dinner. Don't put off fulfilling requests until later. Does your wife want you to help her change the curtains? Help now. Then you will forget about this assignment. Mutual understanding and care will help you maintain a happy marriage for many years.