Husbands and wives - sayings and phrases. Quotes about husbands and wives Beautiful phrases about your husband

Truthful, witty, wise, vital and always with humor. All these are quotes about my husband. After all, if you look at it, the spouse is a mystery from the mysteries of nature, which only his loving (and this is the main condition) spouse can understand and accept. It is for them that this selection of cool phrases and expressions was created. So read, think and smile.

Briefly about my husband in quotes

A good husband, when he finds his wife's stash, should add money to it!

I am incredibly happy for my husband - he married so well!!!

What should I give my husband if he has everything I need?

My husband is a unique person! For him, all your dresses are the same, and all screwdrivers are different.

It was our second year family life. My husband still thinks he doesn’t eat zucchini and onions.

Who in our time refuses a living husband!

A woman’s strongest defense is her husband’s love.

Husbands don't grow up, they just gain weight.

There is no husband who would not dream of becoming a bachelor at least for an hour...

The most best wife at my husband's!

The wisdom of authors and people in quotes and statuses about a husband will help in family relationships. You will get closer to the answer to the riddle of what kind of husbands they are.

Cool statuses about your husband

My husband and I have differences on religious grounds: I refuse to believe that he is God.

A woman needs only two things to be happy: a husband and everything else.

Sometimes you really want to kill your husband! But you can't! I am responsible for him. The registry office gave it to me against signature.

My husband said there was no spark between us. I bought a stun gun. When he wakes up, I’ll ask again.

How could I ruin my wife's birthday if I don't even remember when it was?

I took a pregnancy test, which turned out to be positive, showed it to my husband, and he kissed him with joy. I wonder if he knows how to do a pregnancy test!?

A friend is known in need... A hero in battle... A wife in poverty... A husband on maternity leave.

A timid husband, having returned from a business trip a day early, waits out the day at the station.

Beats means he loves... thought the husband, wiping away tears and examining the bruises in the mirror.

I love everything about my future husband! Only one thing is a little annoying - we are still strangers.

Quotes about your husband are one thing, but real life- another. And how much phrases and reality intersect is difficult to say. Everything is individual. Therefore, only the individual wife of the individual husband knows whether an ideal spouse exists or is this a fairy tale. Read the wise and funny quotes about husbands and, perhaps, you too will be able to look behind the veil of this greatest secret.

Funny statuses about your husband

I thought I got married... But it turned out that I took in my mother-in-law’s son...

A bachelor does all the housework himself. But a married man is forced by his wife.

Of course, beloved, you must have a personal opinion, and now I will tell you it!

If your husband offended you, don’t start a scandal. It’s just that he doesn’t see it yet, spit in his tea three times!

Don’t bring your husband to a boil, otherwise he may evaporate!

If the husband begins to come home well-fed, then soon he will stop coming at all.

Finding a husband is an art, but living with him is creativity!

A husband is a creature who, after washing a plate, will look at his wife as if he had cleaned the entire apartment.

There are no bad husbands... There is a first, a second, a third...

A smart husband does not ask his wife what she wants. He knows!

Quotes about my husband, short sayings for social networks, will never lose their relevance. After all, problems in family life hardly change over time. But the way of expressing them takes on new forms. That’s why fresh statuses about husbands with meaning appear.

Quotes about my husband with meaning

An ideal husband is a man who believes that he has perfect wife.
George Bernard Shaw

One good husband is worth two good wives: the rarer the product, the more expensive it is.
Benjamin Franklin

A happy marriage is a marriage in which the husband understands every word that the wife does not say.
Alfred Hitchcock

Everyone can become a noble husband. You just need to decide to become one.
Confucius

A husband is a person who always forgets your birthday and never misses a chance to tell you your age.
Marilyn Monroe

As you get older, you realize that you need to change yourself, not your wife...
Dina Rubina

In dreams we are heroes, but in life we ​​are the husbands of heroines.
Gennady Malkin

Wise woman creates ideal husband herself.
Ekaterina Makarova

Women's erotic fantasies are a faithful husband.
Tigran Babayan

Every nation deserves its leader, and every wife deserves her husband.
Darya Dontsova

It is worth noting that society maintains strong expectations regarding models of marital relationships, according to which men are assigned the role of breadwinner of the family, and women are the keeper of the home and educators of children. Let's try to figure out if this is true. And to achieve our goal, we use meaningful quotes about my husband.

It is easier to be a lover than a husband, for it is more difficult to be witty every day than to joke from time to time.
Honore de Balzac

It's not enough to have a millionaire husband. And it is not the second word that is important here, but the first. Let him be a billionaire - or let him be a beggar. This is nothing! Something else is important. So that you love - and they love you. And if this is not at home, sooner or later you will go looking for your love on the side. To everyone's grief.
Galina Goncharova

You don't know how difficult it is to love a person just because he is your husband.
Rinat Valiullin

If a husband constantly looks for flaws in his wife, then another will find her merits.
Charles Duclos

When a wife supports her husband and spreads his wings with her love, he becomes invulnerable.
Bahram Bagirzadeh

A husband is such a thing that can easily be improved.
Terry Pratchett

Most marital friction arises from the wife talking too much and the husband listening too little.
Kurt Goetz

If you can't accept your husband's lifestyle, don't take the job - in other words, don't marry him.
Agatha Christie

Be your husband's lawyer, not his investigator.
Magdalena the Impostor

They say that finding a husband is an art; keeping it is a profession.
Simone de Beauvoir

There are stereotypes about husbands. And there is no escape from them. And, naturally, the physical appearance or intellectual merits of husbands could not help but be reflected in quotes.

Sayings and phrases about husbands

If your husband starts following fashion, start following your husband.
Konstantin Melikhan

The husband is what remains of the lover after the nerve is removed.
Helen Rowland

Wife - business card husband.
Rosa Syabitova

Husbands are not gods; there is no point in demanding attention from them as from grooms.
William Shakespeare

A stupid husband scolds his wife, but a smart husband scolds himself for marrying her.
Konstantin Melikhan

Women, as a rule, choose a nightgown for themselves much more carefully than a husband.
Coco Chanel

A husband is almost always just a substitute for a beloved man, and not this man himself.
Sigmund Freud

My most amazing husband is like a sip of life-giving dew. Like a spring that gives moisture, it fills life with meaning...

I have loved you ever since we got married... My husband, you are gentle, brave and proud, and our souls have merged together...

I so want now to be in the safe hands of my beloved husband, to feel their warmth, affection and strength... To kiss him and tell him how lucky I am to have him...

Lucky is not the wife who has good husband, but to the husband whom she made so.

Best status:
When a married couple has maintained mutual love for many years, it will gradually be replaced by a good habit, and passion will be replaced by friendly support.

I feel calm behind your back, you are the best and most worthy. You save me from problems, wonderful husband - the envy of everyone!

I didn’t dare to dream about such a husband... I really need you... there are no limits to happiness. And our children will be very lucky - fate gives them the best dad!

My husband was given to me by God... the most tender and desirable... I don’t need another fate... just to be with you....

It may sound immodest, but I can say that my husband is truly the best man in the world

I miss you so much, without the warmth of my dear eyes, I will give everything so that you and I do not separate for more than an hour!!!

Don’t forget that everything should be shared equally in the family: a new fur coat for the wife, socks for the husband

My family is my castle.

A real family begins with the birth of the first child...

The man from my dreams once became me faithful husband. My best, it’s you I need more than anyone in the world!

I can’t imagine a better husband than you.

All happy families are alike, each a happy family unhappy in her own way.

Every day I understand that my husband is the best and irreplaceable, that I made the right choice!

For a happy family life, the character of the spouses is important, and for entertainment, just a pretty appearance is enough.

A guy is not a husband, you can change it! A husband is not a mother, you can change it.

Sometimes my husband shudders from me - after all, I am an amazing woman!!!

The dependence of family life makes a person more moral.

In a happy family, the wife thinks that the money comes from the nightstand, the husband thinks that the food comes from the refrigerator, and the children think that it was found in the cabbage.

The family is not a unit of the state. The family is the state and eats

You are more than love: You are life, you are passion, you are tenderness, You are a breath of air, You are inevitability... and childhood dreams are all YOU!!!

It is easier to win peace in a family by concluding a truce in it on time.

Family is mutual bearing of hardships and a school of sacrifice.

In family scenes, one is the director, the other is the director.

Why does he think he has the right to fulfill his marital duty with my brain?

Evil wives give their husbands blows, and good wives give their husbands cuckolds

I go into the kitchen and see my husband, twitching in convulsions, holding on to the electric kettle. She grabbed the mop and hit him hard on the arm to tear it away from the electric. device, breaking his arm in the process. Later it turned out that the husband was listening to music on headphones and dancing!

In the family circle, everyone had their own corner.

Looking for a husband. I’ll find you, I’ll kill you...!

Head of the family: one for all and all for one!

To prevent a wife from turning into a saw, a husband should not become a log...

The wife approaches her husband sitting at the computer: “Let me play.” – Have a conscience, dear, take an example from me. Have I ever taken a rag from you? I asked when do you wash the floors?

Warm home hearth true friend, makes a person invulnerable.

I want it to be like this: SP: married to... Status: I am the happiest THE BEST man in the world! (updated 50 years ago), and on the wall there is an inscription: “Granny, happy golden wedding to you!” And most importantly, I will still be online!

It's good to have such a wonderful person next to me. Sometimes, closing my eyes, I think about what would have happened if we had not met, and with horror I understand that then I would not be happy. I love you!

A happy wife means a happy family. An unhappy wife is a murderous torment for the rest of your days.

Family quarrels are reminiscent of the program “No one is forgotten, nothing is forgotten.”

I will shout to the whole world that I want to be alone with you. And then I’ll whisper: I need you, Thank you for becoming the best husband!

In family life, the most important screw is love...

I love you, my dear, I wouldn’t trade you for anyone. And I know that You value my destiny, and do not play with it.

Statuses about wife and husband - A woman cheats on her husband in three cases: if he is bad, if he is good and if he is neither this nor that.

The only thing you should worry about is your family, and let him worry about the rest!

IN normal families apartments, cars, jewelry are passed down by inheritance, and in ours - passwords...

I received a text message: “I’m spending the night with a woman, don’t worry.” I sit and think: son or husband?

The family hearth, like the weather, is changeable: sometimes it warms souls, sometimes it boils them.

I love being married man. It's so great to find that special woman that you want to piss off and annoy for the rest of your life.

Always remember yourself important rule happy marriage: “Good things happen to those husbands who listen carefully to their wives!”

You cannot find happiness in marriage unless you bring it with you.

You are my dear, so beloved, You are a husband, not a boyfriend or a friend. In the hands of your reliable, strong ones, I simply melt as if in heaven.

In the world I need one man - the one who once became my beloved husband. My dear, I thank you for your affection, tenderness and love!

I want to always be with you, smile and cry, laugh and be sad, raise children, cook food for you, love and be loved.

Many wives would not cheat on their husbands if they knew a more subtle way to take revenge.

You are so kind and beautiful, I want to be with you always, I am happy with you, my dear, It was not for nothing that I said to you: “Yes.”

The family is like that a good thing that many people have two of them at once.

The husband's kiss will be more passionate if the wife holds a cutlet in her teeth.

At the buffet table. Wife: “Darling, don’t you think it’s awkward that this is the fifth time you’ve been running around with a plate for food?!” Husband: “Nope, I told you it was for you!”

A family is a group of people who are united by ties of blood and quarrel over money issues...

I love you very much, and this is not a secret at all. After all, for me you are the sweetest, there is no relative in the world like you!

Kiss, caress, scold, forgive for nonsense. I love you, you know, my dear, beloved husband!

Dear husbands! If you have stopped seeing your wife as a woman, this does not mean that all other men have also gone blind!

Smart men choose such ugly girls as their wives that no one else will covet them, and they choose such a beauty as their mistress that all other men will envy.

If your husband has grown horns, it means that not all men watched football yesterday.

A husband like you, Just the man of your dreams, Always ready to love And give your affection! Live and breathe in unison. You are my mysterious dream!

Sweet, beloved, desired, gentle, affectionate, caring, courageous... All this is one person... Thank you for having me!

The main causes of most stress and depression in a person’s life are: family, money and a family without money.

I love your lips, I love your hands, I love everything that you have. I love the way you kiss, I love the way you dance, I love the way you love me!

The two gold rings on our fingers are a symbol of the fact that we are inseparable from each other. This is a symbol of our love. I wear it with pride wedding ring, and I’m incredibly glad that you are my husband.

Statuses about my husband - Not only do I wait for my husband from work every evening as if from the war, but he also demands to set up a field kitchen for him near his computer!

My darling, I love you! You are my life and happiness! I so want to be with you, both in grief and in bad weather. I can say it a hundred times, dear, And it’s so wonderful!!!

The blood is boiling, the heart is beating: I am saturated with love! Dear husband, you are my sun, I am so happy with you!

A family is a small country in which PAPA is the president, MOTHER is the minister of finance, minister of health, minister of culture and emergency situations in the family. A CHILD is a people who constantly demands something, is indignant and goes on strike.

Thank you for these lips, Thank you for these hands. Thank you, my beloved, for being in the world.

My husband is the best!

I'm in my third marriage. The husband is in the latter.

Family is not the blood that flows in you, it is those whom you love and who love you!

The husband comes home drunk. I realized that my wife would swear. He grabbed the biggest book and pretended to read. Wife: - Well, did you get drunk again? - What are you doing? Don't you see, I'm lying down reading! - Fool! Close your suitcase and go to sleep.

The soul is full of you alone, my husband, my friend and my hero. I am behind you, like behind a wall, You will always be with me.

The thoughts of a noble man are like the blue of the sky and the shine of the sun: it is impossible not to notice them.

A good husband is never the first to go to bed in the evening or the last to wake up in the morning.

Statuses about love for your husband - I love you, my husband, I admire you. I want to be with you, you are the best in the world, I know.

What does a fly stuck in a jar of honey have in common with a married man? They are both delicious and sad, and their wings are clipped.

It is a great happiness for me to just be next to you. I miss you very much and give you my love!

IN family conflict The culprit is no longer the one who explodes, but the one who presses the button.

A husband rarely changes just because a woman wants him to. For all changes in a man are in the hands of a woman.

Marital love, which passes through a thousand accidents, is the most beautiful miracle, although the most ordinary.

My dearest person, You are both my lover and friend. We are connected with you forever, You are my beloved husband!

Family is a shelter in a heartless world.

Selling my husband good condition– 24 rub. (two eggs for 7 rubles and a pipette for 10).

My dear husband, you are my happiness!

The strongest family is the one where the cross is on the letter “I”. Where only the word “WE” rules, where there are joint dreams. Where there is prosperity and comfort, where children run around happily, where such PASSIONATE LOVE always flares up again! A FAMILY is the one that is strong where life is CALM and EASY!!!

The divine, sacred basis of everything is a strong family.

Good husbands are not chosen, they are raised

In family life, the main thing is patience... Love cannot last long.

I love you with all my soul, the light of your eyes is always with me. I keep your hands warm in spite of all troubles. We live without lies and falsehood. I pray that it continues like this.

Pledge family happiness in kindness, frankness, responsiveness.

Living in a family means sharing with each other all the imperfections, all the troubles and all the feelings and yet continuing to love each other.

My dearest man, Desired, close and dear, Your love is invaluable, I am happy that you are only mine!

Statuses about family - Family is the eradication of your bad habits and the acquisition of new common ones.

My husband, you are the best - without a doubt! I am convinced of this every hour.

I love you more and more, I don’t need another husband. You are becoming dearer to me, And I need you more than life!

Most marital friction arises from the wife talking too much and the husband listening too little.

Kurt Goetz

200
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The domestic chicken has already pecked more than one eagle.

Zbigniew Wajdyk

183
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There is nothing worse than falling in love without reciprocity with your own wife.

Gabriel Laub

180
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Most men demand from their wives virtues that they themselves are not worth.

Lev Tolstoy

168
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We sleep in different rooms, we have dinner in different time, we spend our holidays apart - in a word, we do everything to save our marriage.

Rodney Dangerfield

165
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She married him so that she could always be with him. He married her to forget about her.

Elias Canetti

165
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It’s not so bad when a husband needs only one thing from his wife, it’s bad when he doesn’t need anything from her.

Konstantin Melikhan

165
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Two people combine, and the result is two times half a person.

Wayne Dyer

161
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Watching a couple sitting at a restaurant table, the length of the pauses in their conversation can tell you how long they have been living together.

Andre Maurois

160
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Dirty laundry is washed at home, but dried in public.

Leonce Bourliaquet

160
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A charming woman and a magnificent man are often separated by a mere trifle: the fact that they are married to each other.

Robert de Fleurs

159
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Some wives have the same blind and mysterious love for their husbands as nuns have for their monasteries.

Maria Ebner Eschenbach

156
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We love our dog and don’t want him to change for the better, and we want to change a lot about the people we love.

Nadine de Rothschild

156
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Happy couple: he does what she wants, and she does what she wants.

Peter Altenberg

156
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The final decision is the decision you make before your wife decides.

Leonard Louis Levinson

153
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Husbands wouldn't lie so much if their wives didn't ask so many questions.

Yuzef Bulatovich

152
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Loving wife will do everything for her husband, with one exception: she will never stop criticizing and educating him.

John Priestley

151
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You study each other for three weeks, love each other for three months, fight with each other for three years and tolerate each other for another thirty years.

Andre de Misson

150
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Some spouses behave like a pair of blind people, each of whom does not see something else.

Irena Conti

149
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Four wives left me because I mistook them for my mother.

Cary Grant

149
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A man should be the master of the house, unless, of course, he is married.

Yanina Ipohorskaya

148
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According to statistics, women spend 85 percent family budget, 15 percent is spent by children, the rest by men.

Lucille Goodyear

148
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He who has two wives does not need a dog.

Yanina Ipohorskaya

147
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A well-informed man is one to whom his wife has just told everything she thinks about him.

Ray Fine

147
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What is the secret of our long marriage? No matter how busy we are, we go out to a restaurant twice a week. Candles on the table, dinner, pleasant music, dancing. She has dinner at the restaurant on Thursdays, I have dinner on Fridays.

Henny Youngman

146
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Your friends love you for who you are, your wife loves you and wants to make you a different person.

Gilbert Chesterton

146
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Polygamy is an attempt to extract more from life than is in it.

Elbert Hubbard

145
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After forty years, men are married to their habits, among which a wife is only one item on a long list, and not the most important one.

George Meredith

145
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Never be ashamed of what you think about your wife. She still thinks about you.

Jean Rostand

145
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If we are surprised by someone's choice of spouse, then the person had no choice.

Natalie Clifford Barney

145
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Try to praise your wife, it’s okay if she gets scared out of habit.

William Sandy

144
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In biblical times, a man could have as many wives as he could support. Exactly like today.

Abigail Van Beuren

144
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Why not love your wife? We love strangers.

Alexandre Dumas son

144
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My wife does what she wants with me, she even made me an academician.

Jacques Anselot

144
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If you don't succeed the first time, try listening to your wife.

Robert Orben

144
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A happy marriage is a marriage in which the husband understands every word that the wife does not say.

Alfred Hitchcock

143
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Previously they were connected by at least the floor, but now only by the ceiling.

Vasily Klyuchevsky

143
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There are two types of marriage: when the husband quotes the wife and when the wife quotes the husband.

Clifford Odets

143
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You can inject your husband, but, for God’s sake, not in the place where everyone else injects him.

Magdalena the Impostor

141
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Courting his wife seemed as absurd to him as hunting for roast game.

Emil Krotky

139
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Very often, men owe their success to their first wife, and they owe their success to their second wife.

Jim Backus

By getting married, a man and a woman become one person - the only question is which one.

Henry Louis Mencken 134
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Many married couples look as if they met through a marriage advertisement.

By getting married, a man and a woman become one person - the only question is which one.
Henry Louis Mencken

Two people combine, and the result is two times half a person.
Wayne Dyer

Most men demand from their wives virtues that they themselves are not worth.
Lev Tolstoy

Happy couple: he does what she wants, and she does what she wants.
Peter Altenberg

Many married couples look as if they met through a marriage advertisement.
Ramon Gomez de la Serna

Marriage requires the most sophisticated insincerity possible between two people.
Vicki Baum

There are two types of marriage: when the husband quotes the wife and when the wife quotes the husband.
Clifford Odets

What is the secret of our long marriage? No matter how busy we are, we go out to a restaurant twice a week. Candles on the table, dinner, pleasant music, dancing. She has dinner at the restaurant on Thursdays, I have dinner on Fridays.
Henny Youngman

We sleep in different rooms, we have dinner at different times, we spend our holidays apart - in short, we do everything to save our marriage.
Rodney Dangerfield

A loving wife will do anything for her husband, with one exception: she will never stop criticizing and nurturing him.
John Priestley

Friends love you for who you are; your wife loves you and wants to make you a different person.
Gilbert Chesterton

We love our dog and don't want her to change for the better; and we want to change a lot about the people we love.
Nadine de Rothschild

My wife does what she wants with me; she even made me an academician.
Jacques Anselot, member of the French Academy

After forty years, men are married to their habits, among which a wife is only one item on a long list, and not the most important one.
George Meredith

Some spouses behave like a pair of blind people, each of whom does not see something else.
Irena Conti

Four wives left me because I mistook them for my mother.
Cary Grant

In biblical times, a man could have as many wives as he could support. Exactly like today.
Abigail Van Beuren

Polygamy is an attempt to extract more from life than is in it.
Elbert Hubbard

He who has two wives does not need a dog.
Yanina Ipohorskaya

The new wife is a well-forgotten old one.
Gennady Malkin

Very often, men owe their success to their first wife, and they owe their success to their second wife.
Jim Backus

If a man's first marriage was a mistake, the second wife pays for it.
author unknown

If we are surprised by someone's choice of spouse, then the person had no choice.
Natalie Clifford Barney

A charming woman and a magnificent man are often separated by a mere trifle: the fact that they are married to each other.
Robert de Fleurs

Previously they were connected by at least the floor, but now only by the ceiling.
Vasily Klyuchevsky

I will not deny that a wife can be carried away by her husband - after all, he is also a man.
Gerard de Nerval

Why not love your wife? We love strangers.
Alexander Dumas son

There is nothing worse than falling in love without reciprocity with your own wife.
Gabriel Laub

It’s not so bad when a husband needs only one thing from his wife, it’s bad when he doesn’t need anything from her.
Konstantin Melikhan

Courting his wife seemed as absurd to him as hunting for roast game.
Emil Krotky

You study each other for three weeks, love each other for three months, fight with each other for three years and tolerate each other for another thirty years.
Andre de Misson

Some wives have the same blind and mysterious love for their husbands as nuns have for their monasteries.
Maria Ebner-Eschenbach

She married him so that she could always be with him. He married her to forget about her.
Elias Canetti

According to statistics, women spend 85 percent of the family budget, 15 percent are spent by children, and the rest by men.
Lucille Goodyear

In the vast majority of cases, fur for ladies' fur coats comes from males.
Yanina Ipohorskaya

But I do not allow a wife to teach, nor to rule over her husband, but to be in silence. For Adam was created first, and then Eve...
And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the wife, being deceived, fell into transgression.
Apostle Paul - 1st Epistle to Timothy, 2, 12

A man should be the master of the house, unless, of course, he is married.
Yanina Ipohorskaya

The final decision is the decision you make before your wife decides.
Leonard Louis Levinson

Don't think about who is in charge in the family - she or you. It's better for you not to know.
Yuzef Bulatovich

Most marital friction arises from the wife talking too much and the husband listening too little.
Kurt Goetz

Almost any wife can talk faster than her husband can listen.
author unknown

A well-informed man is one to whom his wife has just told everything she thinks about him.
Ray Fine

You can inject your husband, but, for God’s sake, not in the place where everyone else injects him.
Magdalena the Impostor

A well-chosen couple is one in which both spouses simultaneously feel the need for a scandal.
Jules Renard

Dirty laundry is washed at home, but dried in public.
Leonce Bourliaquet

The domestic chicken has already pecked more than one eagle.
Zbigniew Wajdyk

Husbands wouldn't lie so much if their wives didn't ask so many questions.
Yuzef Bulatovich

Try praising your wife; it’s okay if she gets scared out of habit.
William Sandy

If you don't succeed the first time, try listening to your wife.
Robert Orben

Some wives are so concerned about the happiness of their husbands that they look for the cause of this happiness with the help of private detectives.
author unknown

Watching a couple sitting at a restaurant table, the length of the pauses in their conversation can tell you how long they have been living together.
Andre Maurois

Every husband is unhappy with the way his wife and the government spend money. The only difference is that he is not afraid to openly criticize the government.
author unknown

A happy marriage is a marriage in which the husband understands every word that the wife does not say.
Alfred Hitchcock

Never be ashamed of what you think about your wife. She still thinks about you.
Jean Rostand

My husband and I are celebrating the day of reconciliation and harmony... We go to the store - I try it on, he agrees!

What should I give my husband if he has everything I need?

A wedding is not a wake, you can repeat it...

You buy yourself socks every week, but like a fool I’ve been wearing the same fur coat for two years now!

When my wife asks me to buy another fur coat, I call her by the old Spanish name Okwella.

The main causes of most stress and depression in a person’s life are: family, money and a family without money.

It’s wrong to say: “The woman had a bad morning”... It’s more correct: “The whole family didn’t have a good morning!”

This is how you carry for 9 months, then you give birth for at least 6 hours, then you don’t get enough sleep at night, and you see he looks like DAD!!!

At home, CHOKUPILA and CHOKUPILA are waiting for me...

For the first eighteen years my wife and I lived happily. And then we met.

-Who is the boss in your family? You or your husband? - Of course husband! He is the main executor of all my orders.

Marriage is a mirage in the desert with palaces, palm trees, a camel... First the palace disappears, then the palm trees and you are left with only the camel.

Girls, don't get married; being married is no fun. Either I didn’t wash the clothes, or I hung them up wrong...

Previously, I asked my mother to take time off for a walk... Now I ask my husband... Damn, it was somehow easier for my mother...

I got married and thought she would cook like mom, but she drinks like dad!

If the wife is a shopaholic, then the husband is a bare-ass!

I believe that a wife has the right to do whatever she wants. As long as it tastes good.

From married life. First year life together: he speaks - she listens. Second year: she speaks - he listens. Third year: both talk - the neighbors listen.

A wife is a happiness that becomes complete over the years!

Wife to husband: decide what is more interesting to you: “Did you miss me?” or “Whose panties?”

Every wife knows that a routine check of her husband's pockets often leads to unplanned profits.

Any man knows that a full frying pan feeds, but an empty frying pan nurtures!

Those who do not work are successfully married!

The spouses agreed that the wife would record all expenses. A week later, she shows her husband her notebook with notes: “Food for canaries - $5. Dog bones - $7. Miscellaneous - $876.”

Men! If you find cucumber salad in bed, this is not necessarily breakfast... It could be your wife’s face!

It’s a pity that harems are prohibited here... It’s already hard for me to drag my drunken husband to the fifth floor alone...