Negative life attitudes list. Negative human attitudes

Many people often complain about life, blaming the authorities, neighbors, weather, bosses or loved ones for their problems. To be happy is somehow even indecent, and talking about your successes and achievements is certainly bragging. A smiling passer-by is perceived as crazy, while a person declaring “I’m happy!” - like a real weirdo pink glasses. But let’s still talk about it and try to figure out what happiness means to you personally, how much it depends on the people, things and public opinion around you.

Usually the movement towards happiness begins with the question “Am I a happy person? What is happiness for me? I insist that happiness is a way of perceiving the world, a worldview, a perspective that allows you not to get hung up on problems, overcome them with ease, notice the beauty around you, be able to have fun, strive for development and creation.

How to be happy if I can't have what I want

We will never have everything we want - and this is normal: desires tend to never end and constantly multiply (and are also imposed by advertising, false prestige and consumer society). No matter how much or what a person has, it is always not enough for him. Little money, little love, few dresses in the closet, few likes, etc. But the benefits received, so desired yesterday, today lose their charm and novelty, their possession ceases to seem like something so attractive and again one wants something else. And we again desire something inaccessible and maybe that’s why it’s so desirable. This eternal race for what you don’t have gives rise to dissatisfaction, dissatisfaction with the present - and as a result, a person feels unhappy and depressed. So maybe that’s not where happiness lies? What then, you ask? It seems to me that the point is not at all about what you have and what you don’t, whether you succeed in what you have planned or not, and not even about how others perceive you, whether they love, support, admire you. The question of happiness is much deeper.

The question is - how to be happy with what you already have? How to be happy in the present moment (striving for perfection, of course) - with that level of wealth, with those imperfect people around you, with that imperfect version of yourself? In order not to suffer from the impossibility of owning something or someone, learn to appreciate what you already have.

Being grateful for everything is also an art that can be learned.

We are looking for negative attitudes and programs

Most people live as circumstances dictate—as they say, they go with the flow, and their emotions and mood are determined by external factors. But, in fact, we ourselves choose how and what to react to, what to pay attention to and what to let into our world. I really like the statement that our lives are like the films we choose to watch. I myself was once a lover of dramas with tragic endings, receiving some kind of masochistic pleasure from it. But I recently realized that I’ve been avoiding such films for several years now - I just don’t like suffering and hopelessness anymore. I must admit that approximately the same changes happened in my life: I gave up drama and destructive scenarios, preferring creation and creation.

Indeed, we very rarely think about our mood in life, and more specifically - about the programs and installations that we implement. And if we do think, then in especially difficult moments (loss of loved ones, accident, serious illness) - blaming and scolding the difficult fate, which every now and then presents us with trials and trips us up. Less often we ask ourselves questions - why is this happening and how to change it? Asking yourself this is extremely important - these are the questions that can take you out of the state you are in now and lead you to where you would like to be.

Awareness of negative attitudes in your life is already half the solution to the problem. As soon as you manage to fish them out of your subconscious, you will immediately begin to notice when you express them, what reactions and phrases you embody in your life. Notice and laugh at your own reactions! For example, I repeat to myself - “Oh, again I’m acting out the drama “How hard my life is!”, I remember popular TV series about eternal victims, with whom the whole country sympathized, and it just makes me laugh!

Where does this desire come from for us to suffer, to feel sorry for other sufferers, to blame someone for something, to imagine ourselves as a victim of circumstances? Nobody likes the answer, but it is obvious: from the desire to shift responsibility to someone else for your life, for your inactivity, inability to act successfully and overcome obstacles on the way to your goals. By sympathizing with other sufferers, we seem to be convinced that not only our life is hard and it is impossible to change anything. The success of these endless series about suffering women is precisely explained by the fact that after watching them, you can give up, justify and feel sorry for yourself and calm down at that, “If even these people can’t do anything, then I shouldn’t even try.”

To identify negative attitudes, I suggest you honestly answer the following questions:

What am I dissatisfied with in my life? What specifically doesn't suit me?
What or who makes me feel negative emotions?
What negative attitudes am I implementing in my life?
How often do I express dissatisfaction?
How often do I complain about life?
How do I react to external stimuli? Is it easy to piss me off and provoke me into negativity?
How dependent am I on the opinions of others?
What is associated with attacks of anger, despair, sadness, melancholy (your version?)
What parenting programs do I implement in my life?
What concept of life am I embodying?

You need to try to understand your present state, feelings, emotions, and also try to isolate from the swarm of rushing thoughts those negative ones that prevent you from living easily and joyfully. These can be phrases learned in early childhood, heard from parents, or appropriated already in childhood. mature age. The most common and typical: “This is a woman’s lot!”, “This is my cross, and I have to bear it until the end of my days!”, “As always, nothing will work out for me!”, “Well, it’s me - how can it be for me?” something normal?”, “I’m never lucky!”, “I’m a loser!”, “We live in such a state!”, “Nobody loves me, no one needs me!”, “All men are weak/dishonest / (your option)”, etc. Observe yourself as if from the outside - note which phrases are spinning in your head more often than others, write down your complaints - and you will certainly be able to detect those monsters that suck your energy and deprive you of a joyful existence.

Is it possible to change your perception of life?

A person trying to change his life for the better and become happy must certainly do something for this - first think, and then take active steps to bring these thoughts to life. And here is the first catch and the cornerstone happy life — you need to stop complaining and start changing something. Complaining about life and living an active life are two completely different approaches. different types people, even two civilizations from different planets. The only good thing is that these castes are not closed and a transition from one to another is possible (although, to be honest, it happens rarely).

It’s easy to say - change your perception of life! In fact, this means - completely change yourself, your views, don’t listen to your experience and common sense, become a different person. Is this real and why? If you move gradually in small steps, it’s absolutely possible! Why - to move to a new, higher quality level of life, discover new opportunities and unlock your potential, live consciously and joyfully, finally become happy

Rewriting negative programs

Detecting negative attitudes gives you an understanding of what exactly is holding you back and what needs to be changed in your life. Try to write next to each answer to the above questions - why is this happening? what can I change? how to deal with this? For example, limit your interactions with people who irritate you, treat you badly, or are simply unpleasant. If you don't like your job, look at the ad for another one right now or think about changing your profession! If you are gnawed by resentment, negative emotions from the past - finally forgive your offenders, accept these people as they are and let them move on in peace. Usually people offend others because they themselves desperately need recognition, understanding, love. See all events and people in your life as experiences necessary for your growth. You can blame your parents for not receiving love, men for treating you unfairly, or you can ask yourself: why was I born into this family? What was this supposed to teach me? why did I let such a man into my life and what lesson did he teach me? Answering these questions and forgiving you will bring you relief, understanding, and gratitude for the invaluable knowledge.

Feel free to rewrite negative programs! For example, the attitude “Life tests my strength, sending one test after another!” can be replaced with “Life is a wise teacher who gives invaluable knowledge and teaches me through difficult situations.” Or “I never succeed, I can’t do anything!”, “Nobody loves me and doesn’t want to communicate with me!” to “I’m lucky and I always get what I want! The Universe loves me and promotes me!”, “I am a positive person, which attracts others and arouses interest!” This really works - with the same initial data you can get opposite results by changing your view of yourself and the world.

Yes, of course, in fairness it should be noted that many circumstances are beyond our control. We are practically unable to change other people, to force them to act the way we want and consider necessary. But this does not mean that we are unable to change anything. As they say, if you can’t change a situation, change your attitude towards it.

Change not the people around you, but yourself and your attitude towards them!

Act and form your attitude towards circumstances and people based on your personal priorities and values (yes, you can directly write down a list of your priorities) - and then it will become easier for you to relate to many situations, including public opinion, condemnation or criticism from others. For example, if your behavior causes public censure or envy, do not be upset, but be happy: it means you are popular! People usually envy those who they would like to be in their place, or those they secretly really like!

Remember that this is only your life and you decide how to live it. Only you can decide which emotions to let into yourself, and which to fence off or simply ignore. Only you yourself have the right to decide what is good for you and what is bad. And even if you made some mistake, it is your mistake, you have every right to make it! At that point in your life, you acted based on the experience and knowledge you had, considering this option to be the most correct at the moment.

Everyone makes mistakes; how you treat them is another matter. Either reproach yourself for the rest of your life, or take it as an experience, say thank you to these lessons and easily move on towards your goals and personal happiness.

We shape your image of happiness

Happy people - who are they for you? When was the last time you experienced happiness - where, with whom, what surrounded you at that moment?

Answers to questions like these will help you understand how to attract more into your life. positive emotions and joyful moments. It's important to see what makes you happy and what your idea of happiness is. So the following questions will help you do this:

Well, now the final and most important part of our work on happiness is to combine the knowledge gained from the two previous exercises and answer our questions. main question- How can I become happier today? How will I pamper myself today and what will I do to enjoy it? Make plans for the future, come up with a dream for yourself, move mentally into your perfect life! Well, and, of course, love yourself - learn to hear your desires and be sure to fulfill them (however, we’ll talk about self-love in a separate article).

Instead of a conclusion or “Happy to be!”

Many people see only problems in life, constantly talk about them, increasing their importance in their lives. At the same time, not noticing the beautiful and amazing things nearby, simple things that can please the eye and soul. Everyone has problems in life - the question is how to react to them and how to perceive them. Some people react calmly, without unnecessary emotions and panic - as if they were just another problem to solve (If there is a problem, then we will solve it!). Other people, when unforeseen situations arise, begin to panic, sound the alarm, and lament, without doing anything. Obviously, the first approach is more productive. If you worry about the slightest thing, imagine terrible situations and their consequences, then life will turn into hard labor, only threats and dangers, illnesses and unfavorable circumstances will appear around you. Golden Rule- don’t think about bad things, don’t remember unpleasant things, drive away negative thoughts and replace them with good ones! Don’t play a movie of problems and difficulties in your head, don’t get hung up on them - imagine a positive outcome of the situation, pictures of your happy life.

If you dwell on negative thoughts, life will certainly turn into a series of problems and failures.

If you’re going to spend energy on thoughts, then it’s better to think about positive ones - imagine your happiness more often, feel how your eyes glow and your soul sings when events work out for you the best way, you meet bright, interesting people who help you and support you in your aspirations. Smile at your reflection in the mirror, thank life for all the good things, notice the beauty around you - birds singing, lush clouds, rays of light in green foliage... And you will be happy!

With best wishes for you,

There is a lot of talk about the fact that people have negative attitudes that prevent them from earning money, building relationships, etc. There are those that we came up with ourselves, and there are those laid down by our parents, and sometimes by birth. In fact, attitudes are habits, this is the way we are used to thinking, which means they can be changed, we’ll talk about this today.

Sometimes the first step is to simply break with the past and claim that you are in charge, not your story. Goethe reminds us: “Nothing is worth more than today.” Don't dwell on the past. Do the best choice today and continue. “Abraham Lincoln lost eight elections, failed twice in business, and suffered a nervous breakdown before becoming President of the United States.”

Disabling Beliefs About Difficult People

Most of us encounter difficult people in our lives. In the face of such difficult people, we are tempted to believe that they are the culprits and we are the victims, or that they hold power with their difficult behavior. Such attitudes, even if justified, are reactive and therefore weaken us.

STEP 1. BE AWARE

Understand what is limiting you. To do this, you need to remember your childhood: what your parents and people around you said about you, about happiness, about work, about money, about relationships (depending on what area you want to improve). Be sure to write down something that was repeated many times or was said once, but had a strong impact on you.
You can still take a few more days and write down the negative ones.

The key to changing these disgusting beliefs when confronted with difficult people is to stop reacting and being proactive. Whether you are dealing with a narcissistic, passive-aggressive, manipulative, or intimidating and controlling oppressor, there are many skills and strategies you can use to stay on top of the situation. To learn more about this topic, we offer readings on “How to Effectively Communicate and Deal with Difficult People,” “How to Successfully Deal with Narcissists,” and “How to Successfully Deal with Passive-Aggressive People.”

Examples of negative attitudes:

We do not have money
your hands are growing out of the wrong place
all the women in our family are unhappy
you can't trust anyone

Step 2. REWRITE

Every negative statement needs to be rewritten, giving it a positive meaning. It is important that the new phrase inspires you and gives you energy. If there is no lift, a different installation is needed.

Some people blame dysfunctional parents, negative relationships, socioeconomic disadvantages, health problems, or other life difficulties as the reason for their unhappiness and lack of success. While it is true that life presents many difficulties, and the pain and suffering that these difficulties often cause us is undeniable - placing blame on others as the cause of our unhappiness.

There are illusory benefits to victimization. Pointing the finger provides a convenient excuse for unsatisfactory living conditions, and so we refuse the work necessary to take the reins of our own life and well-being. Often those who are the object of your guilt have no idea how you really feel. It becomes painful for you to be a prisoner of your own bitterness and resentment. Your feelings may be valid, but they won't help you become happier, healthier, or more successful.

There is always not enough money - I have more money than I want to spend.
I can not afford it - I deserve to wear quality things.
Everyone has problems with their parents - I have an excellent relationship with my parents.
The crisis of three years is terrible, the child becomes uncontrollable - Three years is the most interesting age for a baby
I `m ugly - I am beautiful

If you yourself cannot find the phrase you need, the Internet can help you. There are a huge number of affirmations, positive attitudes that other people have created. Choose the ones you like best.

Ultimately, this isn't what you really want? “When we blame, we give up our power.” We all make mistakes in life. When you look back, there may have been decisions and actions that you regret. There may have been unfortunate mistakes. You may have offended yourself or others.

As you remember these past events, feelings of self-blame may arise after mistakes, damage, or missed opportunities. You may think of yourself as "bad" or a "loser" and trying to get over yourself. It is extremely important to be compassionate with yourself during this time, knowing that now that you are more aware, you have a chance to avoid repeating the mistakes of the past and positively impact yourself and others.

Step 3. CHANGE.

If you think that coming up with new settings is last step, then you are wrong. Only repeated repetition can change the habitual way of thinking.

The best time to change settings is immediately after getting up, when the consciousness is not yet loaded with a huge amount of information, and before sleep, so that the brain perceives this information as the most important and begins to process it first.

Fear of failure and mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes - and mistakes are not permanent statements about you as a person. These are isolated moments in time. Tell yourself: “I made a mistake, but that doesn’t make me a bad person.” Fear of failure and mistakes are often associated with perfectionism. You may think that you are not good enough, in some way, believing that there is enormous pressure on you to succeed.

By setting high standards to serve as an effective motivational tool, you wait for the perfect time to enjoy the joys of life and thereby limit your maximum potential for success. Several studies correlate perfectionism with unhappiness. No matter how hard we try, this is not just a perfect person, and certainly not all the time.

You can pronounce new settings, or you can rewrite them.
It is better to write new settings with your left hand, because... in this case, the barriers of logic are removed. The left hand is connected with the right hemisphere, with emotions, with our subconscious. This helps to quickly introduce new attitudes into our brain. You can choose one installation, or several, depending on your desire.
You need to write and pronounce new settings every day for a month without skipping. The second month - every other day, then once every three days, once a week, etc. If it seems to you that this is a long time, then count how long you lived with the old settings. They don’t change at the snap of your fingers; you need to make an effort and spend time.

Negative behavior and resentment. In the team of trainers to which she belongs, there is this charming young woman, warm, whom everyone loves, everyone praises for her qualities and professionalism. Everyone except our Alice, who feels embarrassed that her colleague doesn't appreciate her.

She speaks of an almost imperceptible coldness, a slight reserve that this woman does not have with other colleagues. Alice got the impression that her colleague was afraid that she was shading him. However, if they are doing the same job, her colleague has more experience and seniority. She is highly recognized within the company and enjoys an excellent reputation among clients.

STEP 4. SEEK CONFIRMATION

Carefully monitor what is happening around you, find confirmation of new attitudes.

“I have more money than I want to spend” - unexpected bonuses, salary increases, gifts from loved ones.
“I deserve to wear quality things” - you manage to buy an expensive dress with a big discount, gifts, increased income
"I am beautiful" - compliments, looks from men.

Find examples of people who live by your new guidelines and have achieved success.

As a result, she is angry at him for this distance because she feels far below her colleague's level and thinks that she has no reason to be afraid of her. A latent tension arises between misunderstanding, resentment and indignation. Alice's case is not isolated. We've probably once encountered what we interpreted as envy or fear on the part of someone. And we probably still reacted the same way: developing resentment, sadness or irritation. Or indignation, our talented virtue rebels against relationships as childish or even our entire ego in search of superiority, we can remain silently incomprehensible to the absurdity of behavior.

Read books and watch movies on the topic.
You might think that all this is nonsense, but in fact, this is how our attention works. What we focus on is what we notice. There are no bad or good events, only we evaluate them. And only we choose what to focus on - positive or negative.

STEP 5. CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR

Words don't mean anything, what matters is ACTING differently.
You can tell yourself “I deserve a salary increase” as much as you like, but without negotiations with your boss, a change of job or a change in the approach to organizing your business, this is unlikely.

Whatever the case may be, we spend phenomenal energy absorbing attitudes that we perceive as inadequate and therefore shy away from our desire to be loved. However, there is a very simple way to understand the situation that prevents our heads so well from allowing jewels, such as a poorly insulated window.

Examples of negative attitudes

Because it is not so much the small events in our lives that are painful, but the perception we have about them. Finally, if Alice's colleague is really afraid that she will overshadow him, she gives him a big compliment: she recognizes his ability to equal or even exceed. In this case, she recognizes the ability to be charming, professional, and highly appreciated by colleagues and clients. In principle, there is no reason to blame him, on the contrary!

You can tell yourself “I’m happy” 100 times, but still cry into your pillow every day.

In order to at least highlight your strengths, go for a consultation with a stylist, update your wardrobe, etc.

Think about how you can change your life? Make a plan and ACT!

Mini coaching: positive negative behavior. Of course, imagining that we hold the true meaning of this person's behavior, we rush shamelessly into it, since in fact we know nothing about the motives of the other. However, this does not matter here, because from the moment we imagine that these ideas exist in the head of another, it is because we regard these same ideas as plausible. Indeed, this belief about the other actually tells us: it actually tells us about qualities or skills that we recognize more or less consciously or that we want to develop.

Remember that after quick results there may be setbacks, so our strategy is: FORWARD in small steps.

With faith in you, Tatyana Chursanova

Have you noticed that sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we somehow fail to accomplish our plans or achieve our goals?

So let's take advantage of what we believe is building self-esteem through awesome goals. In Alice's case, it's about developing her abilities to be charming, warm and professional. To make them talk more, to use them fully.

It is up to you to decide whether this exercise is suitable for your situation or whether other measures are needed. We all have fears and fears. Those of the others belong to them, and they are certainly legitimate according to their personal history. Be kind and caring about other people's fears, especially if they affect you. Be natural with this person: it is your lack of anger that can reverse the trend and improve the relationship.

Why is this happening?

There could be a myriad of reasons. And each of us will find any excuses.

However, no matter how much we look for excuses for our own failures, we remain their main reason.

ourselves

Let's figure out why this happens and how you can deal with it.

We unknowingly interfere with the implementation of our plans

For example, we have important but not very pleasant work ahead of us. Instead of getting rid of it quickly, we COMPLETELY CONSCIOUSLY find thousands of reasons and explanations WHY WE DIDN’T DO IT. And immediately a heap of urgent matters is revealed, postponing the work until the very time when the “roasted rooster” begins to sharpen its beak...

Forgiveness seems to be the solution to many people. It is, however, a sacred relational competency, among the most difficult and most influential. What exactly are the talents, qualities, abilities, skills, resources that can overshadow this person?

Start by thanking someone who reminded you of some of your qualities, abilities, or resources. This type of exercise, while as dull as the first, has the advantage of ending the resentment spiral. This man, with his negative behavior, what do you know?

Many people decide to start a new life on Monday. We ASSURE OURSELVES that from Monday we will definitely START A NEW LIFE: we will go in for sports, quit smoking, give up beer/candy/favorite cakes (favorite drugs). But Monday comes, and the implementation of the plans is again postponed to the future. And often, “that same Monday” NEVER COMES...

Where do negative attitudes come from?

What can you do to develop, use, develop them further? Now forget this man. It's not about actually succeeding in shading it or inflating the ego by comparing yourself to your advantage. It's about focusing on yourself, being better to yourself, refocusing your respect, using your talents and doing your best.

What personal evolution goals do you have for yourself? To gain joy in life and develop the mental vitamins that will enable you to become more adventurous, act with more confidence and confidence, So offers a self-coaching relationship.

Sometimes the body so actively resists actions or events that potentially pose a threat that a person may even get sick. Surely, some people are familiar with the situation when, before an important meeting, the temperature suddenly rises and the head splits. You can no longer go anywhere, do nothing.

The destructive work of our subconscious. Negative programs

It's all because of negative internal attitudes that block our efforts and erect obstacles on the path to success. Attitudes predispose a person to the same reactions and actions in repeated life situations. And, as the years pass, this “baggage” in the subconscious, which we drag along with us, becomes stronger and is replenished with new negative experiences.

During childhood, the formation of negative attitudes is facilitated by errors in upbringing. When critical comments are made to a child in the form of categorical generalizing judgments, such as “you’re always late,” “you’re good for nothing,” “your work is terrible,” “stupid,” etc., subconscious attitudes are formed that deny any possibility of success. and programming appropriate behavior patterns.

I call them negative programs.

Most often in our country they touch upon such burning topics as health and money (there is also sex, but everything is simpler with it, and therefore I will not write about it).

For example, people who have learned from childhood a prejudice against wealth, believing that it is synonymous with dishonesty, will subconsciously be prevented from achieving financial success.

A kind of psychological ban on wealth will be triggered.

Remember, rich people even in fairy tales appear as “dishonest deceivers.” And not to mention the “hated bourgeoisie” whom our valiant people defeated in the heyday of communism.

We have perfectly learned what is good and what is bad. Public morality took care of this at a very opportune time, introducing into our heads the idea of what we need to be and what we shouldn’t be.

Can an honest person be rich?

Think about why such manipulation was created.

The same applies to health. We have been very cleverly programmed into what diseases we SHOULD get, and at what age THIS WILL HAPPEN.

You are sitting with the letter “Zu”! Your back is bound to hurt!

That is why, if we want to improve our health and get rich, we must overcome negative internal attitudes.

To prevent harmful attitudes from ruining our lives, we first need to identify and understand them. After all, as you know, in order to defeat the enemy, you must first detect him.

After all, sometimes we don’t even suspect that we are PROGRAMMED FOR FAILURE.

Let's imagine such a common life situation. beautiful and smart girl chronically unlucky with men. She considers herself a failure, but does not think about what exactly is preventing her from organizing her personal life. And the point, perhaps, is that it forms confidence in failure in advance, and disappointment does not keep itself waiting.

But, even if the presence of a blocking attitude is conscious, often we DO NOT WANT to admit it to ourselves. Indeed, it is easier to blame evil fate or fatal bad luck for failures than to try to break down psychological barriers to success.

How can you identify it in yourself?

The problem is that there can be many internal complexes and obstacles; they are often so closely intertwined that only a good shrink can unravel this tangle of contradictions.

turn to specialists in such matters: to trainers and coaches, or, as a last resort, to practicing psychologists (“dismiss the armchair” and “room” psychologists right away, I’ll tell you from personal experience, often such guys cannot restore order in their lives. But They are good at teaching others about life)

However, you can try to solve the problem yourself. To do this, you need to master several simple psychotechnic techniques. I will help you with this.

Ways to identify negative programs

1. Visualization.

Mentally imagine the area of your life in which you are facing the greatest difficulties and work through them. This will allow us to figure out what unconscious fears are preventing us from putting things in order in this area.

Let's look at an example of one of the most common financial problems today.

Sit back comfortably. Take a deep breath. Relax.

Start imagining.

Imagine that you have become the owner of a lot of money.

Introduced?

Now think about what problems wealth will bring you. And write down everything that comes to mind: envy, which you will certainly feel; worsening relationships with friends and girlfriends; possible danger to your loved ones; maybe they will even want to rob you, etc. Then think about whether the unpleasant consequences that your subconscious mind warns you about are really that bad. Try to mentally write a positive scenario of your actions, imagine in detail how you cope with the difficulties that arise.

2. Analysis of the environment.

To identify psychological attitudes, it is useful to look around and try to understand what stereotypes of thinking are characteristic of our environment. Because, most likely, they are inherent in us.

The influence of the environment on a person: family, friends, neighbors is very great. Often people who constantly communicate with each other develop similar internal attitudes, identical programs. Therefore, if you find stereotypical ideas and prejudices among your loved ones and friends, perhaps these same harmful attitudes are interfering with your life.

3. Analysis of authority, media, films, books.

And one more exercise.

We analyze on paper our favorite movie characters, favorite book heroes, a fictional self (who you like to be in your dreams), authorities (those you would like to be like). Such an analysis will answer important questions: with whom we tend to identify ourselves, what type of behavior is a role model.

Most likely, you will find certain psychological attitudes or thought patterns in your favorite “heroes”. And, therefore, you will be ready to identify and overcome them in your subconscious.

Get your analysis in WRITING. Go through three exercises and write everything down on sheets of paper (if you really started working on yourself, there may be a lot of sheets - and that’s normal).

At the same time, write everything down as it is! Write curse words if necessary. Don't hold back.

Don't be fooled!

Write everything down! Because right now, you will receive a technique that will allow you to CHANGE your LIFE.

So,

The listed exercises are aimed at finding internal attitudes. Once they are discovered, we will begin to consciously get rid of them. We will try to break our thinking patterns and overcome them using the special “BSFF” technique. We will also work on creating new positive attitudes and behavioral mechanisms that can lead us to success in life.

However, before you begin the actual work, you must learn something else.

On this difficult path, many serious difficulties and obstacles await us.

Firstly, we may experience pressure from our immediate environment. After all, having changed our behavior model, we continue to be in an environment that is characterized by old attitudes. And this must be fought. That's why,

Get started CHANGE YOUR ENVIRONMENT!

Try to communicate more often with positive, goal-oriented, successful people and like-minded people. Change the environment that negatively affects you.

Secondly, attacks of bad mood and lack of confidence in one’s strength may periodically occur. This is absolutely normal and happens to everyone. Just as in nature there are ebbs and flows, so in human life periods of energetic activity are replaced by periods of decline and calm. However, such psycho-emotional destabilization in your life needs to be minimized.

Therefore, it is important to understand what is happening HERE AND NOW, never give up, don’t give up trying to change your life for the better and constantly develop.

Dissatisfaction with yourself is only a sign of growth if you are ready for change.

When working on yourself, it is very important to strive for positive thinking(not to the “positive thinking” of pop psychology, but to the correct positioning of oneself in the world). There is no need to think about the bad, prepare for failures in advance. You should not waste your life on fruitless worries and worries. The energy of our thoughts is a powerful force. Therefore, it is worth paying attention to the bright sides of life more often, making plans and WISHING FOR YOUR SUCCESS.

The fight against negative internal attitudes is the first, and at the same time a very important step on this path.

And you can start RIGHT NOW!

Best regards, Vadim Berlin

Need more minerals? Read also:

Many people dream of gaining financial independence, but to do this you need to reconsider your beliefs, analyze your views on money and eliminate negative attitudes and lack of faith in your own strengths.

The cause of financial difficulties may be negative programs formed in early childhood due to random phrases of adults, embedded in the subcortex of the brain and preventing one from realizing one’s potential today. You need to get rid of them as soon as possible so as not to miss your own financial success.

Negative financial attitudes

1. Money is hard to earn, and it requires incredible effort. On the one hand, this is true, but without work, no person can secure a decent future for himself. Reconsider your views on work and choose a business that will bring you not only income, but also joy. Realizing your potential can bring many positive things.

2. Money is a great evil. This is a completely false statement. Money cannot be evil or good. It's all about the people who earn them. To be rich, you don't have to become angry and ungrateful. Money cannot change a person's character, but it can increase negative traits. Fight them, develop positive qualities in yourself.

3. Money can only be earned dishonestly. Another misconception that prevents you from focusing on your own well-being. You can make money in different ways, including through your favorite hobby. Hone your skills and you can make good money doing what you love. Every person has talents. All we need is an incentive for their development and improvement, which, as we know, has no limits.

4. Saving will lead to wealth in old age. This negative attitude will never allow you to get rich. Moreover, this vision of wealth makes you unhappy and does not allow you to enjoy life. This attitude is an echo of genetic poverty, which must be combated.

5. Buying cheap things will allow me to save money and save money. Many cheap items have a very short lifespan, and you will have to constantly spend new money to repair breakdowns or purchase new items. Thus, you will lose vital energy to negative emotions, which will be deplorable for your desire to get rich.

6. Complaints about a difficult fate and inaction in anticipation of the next blow are also a negative attitude. You will never move forward if you don't put in the effort. Mistakes on the path to wealth are inevitable, but they should be used to strengthen character, learn from them valuable experience and continue to pursue your cherished dream.

7. Blame yourself for spending too much It's also not worth it. This is how you program yourself for obvious failure. Start planning your spending, use available methods attract good luck and do not allow yourself to succumb to despondency. Good mood and good spirits will give you strength for a new stage in life.

8. Stop it think that you are not worthy of better wages and cannot cope with another type of activity, allowing you to earn an order of magnitude more. Start attending advanced training courses, use free time to develop professional skills or change professions. Perhaps you are simply not in the right place, and this is preventing you from developing as an individual and a first-class specialist.

9. If you are constantly tell yourself that you don’t have money for any purchases, you are blocking positive thoughts. This attitude can draw you into vicious circle negative thoughts and force you to stop looking for new sources of income. Reconsider your preferences: perhaps what you want to buy is not so important at this stage.

10. To become rich, status and expensive things are important. Not at all. In order to start the path to wealth, you do not need expensive purchases, jewelry and clothes. All that is important to you is motivation and the mindset for success in the actions you take. It doesn't matter what shoes you're wearing or how expensive your phone is. Financial independence starts small, and fate is favorable only to those who bravely fight for their own happiness, without stopping there and without inventing new excuses for their inaction.

Start visualizing your dream, repeat to yourself that you can achieve your goal. If you feel sorry for yourself and complain about your sad situation, you will not be able to take the most important, first step towards overcoming yourself.

You're unlikely to get rich instantly, but there are many ways to help you discover your abilities and set yourself up for success. Use proven rituals that attract financial well-being, and devote every day to self-development. We wish you good luck and don't forget to press the buttons and

27.06.2017 02:02

Every person needs to achieve inner harmony. This is an important condition in order to achieve success and...

Often women adhere to negative attitudes that prevent them from living the life they want.

Women want to get married, but at the same time they think that all men are assholes, that family life– this is something very tragic and difficult.

Today I propose to look at the attitudes that do not allow us to live the life we strive for.

Installation- this is the truth that we believe in, but this truth does not necessarily exist in reality.

Attitudes take over us so much that we don’t even realize that we can live differently.

Do you think it is possible, having such attitudes, to be happy woman:

- There is nothing to love me for;
- If I trust a man, I will regret it later;
- We must fight for our happiness;
- Men cannot be trusted.

Attitudes, like a filter, do not allow anything new to penetrate our lives.

There is such a common setup: “If happiness comes, then there will be misfortune.” Such a woman thinks that she does not deserve happiness or that happiness must be paid for. Sometimes “spirituality” is opposed to happiness. Like, a “spiritual person” can only suffer.

Why do so many people continue to hold on to their beliefs, even though they are not only inconsistent with reality, but also harmful?

1) A negative attitude is “excellent” justification. For example, you have a setup like this: "All men are assholes" or “By the age of 30, all good men are married.” For you, these attitudes are an excuse for your loneliness. Because deep down in your heart you are afraid to be with a man and don’t want to get married. If you are not married, if you are alone, then this is what you want. Perhaps you are afraid that you will be abandoned, that you will be cheated on, you are afraid of negative feelings and in advance refuse pain and disappointment.

2) We often justify our existence by overcoming obstacles: “I suffer, therefore I exist”. We get used to having problems. Problems become the meaning of life.

3) I notice that many people do not give up their negative attitudes because they do not know what they will talk about with their friends. If everything goes well with me, then what will I talk about? Many are afraid of being excluded from the circle, the community. But this childish feeling, the woman seems to be saying: “It’s better that I be with problems, but not alone.”

4) We often feel proud of our problems, we feel significant in overcoming obstacles, and it is strange for us to imagine what I will do if there are no problems.

5) We get used to living "on automatic" and often we don’t think about what we believe. We don't want to take responsibility for our lives. We heard that all men cheat, or that all men are selfish, which means there is always someone to blame for their failures in their personal lives. Men are to blame!

6) And, perhaps, the most important benefit of why we hold on to negative attitudes sounds like this: Having problems, we don't feel lonely. They take pity on us, support us, and give us advice. “Everyone is happy with their problem, this is a very deep happiness, because it gives a feeling of connection with others in misfortune, of belonging with them. Happiness, on the contrary, makes a person lonely. It is easier to suffer than to decide. Unhappiness is easier to bear than happiness.” B. Hellinger.

It turns out that the only thing that prevents us from getting what we want is ourselves. We carry too many contradictory beliefs and attitudes within ourselves. We cling to old beliefs because we are afraid of change. And we are afraid to be happy.

But if you still decide to take a risk and become happy, then you need to work on identifying limiting attitudes and replacing them with your own new positive, happy attitudes.

1) Working with installations is a lot of work that lasts not a month or two (as some authors write). Because there are so many hidden benefits of having these setups. It takes time to give up these benefits, and of course decision to be happy.

2) The second action after deciding to become happy is identification installations. Take the following areas: happiness, man, woman, work, love, well-being, body. Write down everything you think about this. For example,

I don't deserve happiness;
Happiness must be earned;
Men only want sex;
Men cannot be trusted;
Everyone good men dismantled;
If I fall in love, then I will be deceived, betrayed;
Loving is painful;
To get something, I need to work hard.

3) Sometimes it’s difficult to identify attitudes on your own; we become so fused with them that they don’t even seem negative to us. I recommend listening to your speech, what do you say most often? Speech also reflects our limitations and our beliefs.

Perhaps you often repeat:

I do not know what I want;
I don't know;
I need;
I should;
I must;
This is impossible;
Horror;
“Yes, said the poor man”;
This is how the circumstances developed;
Accident;
It all comes down to money;
I'm shocked;
The roof is moving;
Infection;
Madhouse.

Behind all these words are images. The woman jokes: I'm like a squirrel in a meat grinder. But this is actually not a joke.

4) Once you identify your negative belief, you need to understand the hidden benefits of why you are comfortable holding on to this belief. I highly recommend two books to you: Gail Dwoskin"Method - Sedona" and Katie Byron“Love what is.” Admit that you need these problems, agree with them. And then you have to make a choice: stay with these problems, believing in the old attitudes, or abandon them.

5) Try doing a little research. Ask yourself: If I thought differently, what would change in my life? For example, you thought that you need to fight for your happiness. What will change if you think that happiness comes easily to you? I think the very first feeling that will arise is resistance.

In the book "Method-Sedona", there is simple techniques how to let go of resistance. Or this setup: Nothing dedends on me. How does the opposite of the thought “Everything in life depends on me” make you feel? It’s somehow uncomfortable, isn’t it? Everything that happens in our lives is created by our hands, or rather, by our thoughts.

6) Replace all negative attitudes with positive ones. Write it down on paper. Choose two settings, no more. Collect results in confirmation of this new installation. See the results, you will believe automatically. For example, setting "Life is a difficult thing". Look for examples that life is easy. Search carefully and you will definitely find it.

7) Save your entries, and compare your views and beliefs in six months, and you will definitely notice how actively you are moving towards happiness and positivity.

Write in the comments what negative attitudes you have discovered in yourself.

Tatyana Dzutseva

In contact with

Happiness. There are different definitions for it. And for each person it will be different. But I think everyone will agree that happiness is when everything is good. When all areas of your life are in harmony.

Subconsciously we all strive for this. So what prevents a person from always being happy? Not when you get rich or get married. Not on the condition of doing something, but always experiencing happiness. And it is internal negative attitudes that hinder us.

What attitudes prevent us from being happy?

An attitude is a general program of human behavior in a specific situation. By the age of thirty, each person “accumulates” a whole set of internal attitudes that determine his life. He believes in many attitudes as true, that is, for him they are neither negative nor positive. For example, the attitude “all men cheat.” We are informed about this from everywhere: TV, magazines, books. Well, if dad left the family, then even more so this attitude is rooted in the child’s subconscious for the future life. So what happens next? A girl comes across only those men who cheat, confirming only her attitude, or even worse - she cannot build a relationship in any way, because in this way she protects herself from these cheating men. If only he didn't change. It happens that excess weight, diseases or acne protect precisely from such men.

Are you familiar with the following settings or similar ones?

	Nobody cares what I do	There's always someone better than me	Love hurts
I'm not confident in myself	I'm afraid of being criticized	People can offend	People are generally selfish and greedy
Life is full of suffering	Happiness doesn't last long	If I become open and honest, people will start to take advantage of it.	I can never overcome my shortcomings
I cannot express my feelings and emotions openly		Nothing in life depends on me	Wanting something just for yourself is selfish.
I can't attract a decent life partner	I've never had any luck in relationships	Being lonely is terrible	People only think about themselves
I'm afraid of change	I'm very ashamed that I make mistakes	Money is evil, money makes you commit crimes and deals with conscience	The poor are happier
Money corrupts a person and instills in him all base passions	I can’t earn money because I’m too stupid, I don’t have enough strength, because I’m a woman	Modesty adorns	My body is not beautiful enough

Now it is not our task to analyze where all the settings came from. For this, you can go to an experienced psychologist, and there is no need to do so. In any case, no one is to blame. It's not your parents' fault that they taught you to live this way and not otherwise. They were taught by their parents and so on.

Working with negative attitudes: affirmations for happiness

Now we will look at how to recognize these attitudes and how to eradicate them. Read these negative attitudes again. Determine which of them are close to you. Write it down on a separate sheet.

Combine these negative attitudes with a positive affirmation. Affirmation is a positively charged phrase, which, when repeated many times, becomes fixed in a person’s subconscious and gives an intention to change his daily reality for the better.

An example of affirmations for negative attitudes that we discussed above:

I accept myself as I am	People love me and I love people	I am the one and only to myself	I am open and ready for a wonderful relationship based on love
I am a confident person	I am a confident person	I trust life	Everyone has the right to their opinion
Life supports me in every situation	I'm happy	I feel safe because self-love protects me.	Today I'm better than yesterday
I express my feelings and emotions freely and openly	I love me. I am the most important person to myself!	I take full responsibility for my life	I always get what I want for myself
I find the person I need. Between us is love and passion	I deserve to be happy and loved	I can be happy regardless of anyone	Good comes to me from everywhere, from everyone and everything
I'm ready for change	I am confident in my success	I'm letting go of all limiting thoughts now.	I value money for the things it can give
I choose to think well about money now.	I let go of all my fears and doubts about money.	If others can be rich, I can too!	I respect my body and take the best care of it

How to use affirmations to get rid of negative attitudes

Write down affirmations with your left hand before going to bed on a separate sheet of paper or in a notepad.

“A word written before sleep has an effect on the conscious and subconscious mind 100 times stronger than a word heard, read or spoken” (Igor Afonin).

And when we write with our left hand, we concentrate and, accordingly, transfer energy into beliefs, which makes them more significant. You should also write down negative attitudes, then ritually throw them away or burn them. The subconscious must believe that they are no longer there.

Hang your affirmations in a visible place, repeat several times a day.

Of course, these are not all negative attitudes, but only approximate options. We have thousands of them in our subconscious. There is another way to identify some in yourself. Make a table. Write down everything that your parents told you in childhood or adolescence. Remember the basic settings. Think about whether they are interfering with your life now.

Messages from the mother part	Messages from the father's side
Don't live! (I don’t need such a girl, I’m so tired of you, etc.)	Everything in this life depends on you
Don't do it! (Don't run, don't jump, don't stand, don't knock, etc.)	The man is the head of the family!
How scary to live!	A man must provide for his family!
Don't grow up!	Well done
You only need to be beautiful on holidays!
To achieve something, you have to work hard!

I have been practicing identifying negative attitudes for 7 years now. Since I began to consciously keep a diary, in which I analyzed the problem in detail, the attitudes that led to it, and wrote affirmations. Now I have a separate notebook for this. I won’t say that I write there every day. And problems are already perceived as opportunities. But I will never forget my first entry: “I can’t get pregnant.” Moreover, there were no medical deviations. Consciously I really wanted it, but subconsciously I didn’t want it at all. Why? What am I afraid of? How to solve? These are the questions I asked myself. The answers poured in as soon as I picked up the pen. There were a lot of fears:

I'll lose my figure.
Childbirth is incredibly painful.
I won't be able to pay enough attention to my husband.
I won't have time for myself.
I get bogged down with other moms in discussions about bottles, diapers, and pacifiers.
I won’t be able to go anywhere on vacation for the next 5 years, because vacationing with a child is hard labor.
In kindergarten, the child will be sick constantly for the first 3 years.
All purchases will be child first.
Goodbye freedom.

In general, there were enough reasons for a subconscious reluctance to have children. Once I understood all these reasons, I set about correcting them with positive affirmations:

I create my figure myself.
Childbirth is a natural process for the body.
I always pay enough attention to my husband.
I always have time for myself, my beloved. A child needs a happy mother.
I only talk to people about what I want to talk about myself.
I go on vacation with my child and enjoy communicating with him.
My child is healthy and developing harmoniously. Illnesses in kindergarten are a myth.
Purchases are divided according to the degree of necessity. If someone in the family needs something first, then he will get it.
Freedom is my choice.

As soon as I realized that all my fears were only in my head, that there were happy mothers too, I was already on the way to a happy life with a baby. Psychologists say that sometimes it is enough to realize the problem to solve it. Maybe. But I decided to repeat the affirmations twice a day, morning and evening. Two months later I became pregnant. And now, 7 years later, I can say that none of the fears have manifested themselves. I am a happy mother of a 6-year-old beauty, I have a great figure and always have time for myself and my husband.

Say goodbye to your negative attitudes and hello to a happy life!

In conclusion, I would like to say once again about happiness. Only in our head there is a definition for this word. And only we ourselves decide whether to be happy or not. Identify your obstacles, change them to affirmations. And you will be happy!

Galina Savchenko for site