My father is Chechen, and my mother is Chechen. My father lived to be 106 years old and married 11 times. For his second marriage, he married a Jewish woman from Odessa, Sofya Mikhailovna. I always call her and only her “mom.” She called me Moishe.

This is when all the Chechens were resettled in Central Asia. We lived in Frunze. I spent all my days with the boys in the yard.

Moishe! - she shouted. - Come here.

What mom?

Come here, I'll tell you why you're so skinny. Because you never see the bottom of the plate. Go and finish the soup. And then you will go.

“Moisha has a good mixture,” they said in the yard, “mother is a Jew, father is a Nazi.” The exiled Chechens there were considered fascists. Mom didn’t eat herself, but gave everything to me. She went to visit her friends from Odessa, Fira Markovna and Maya Isaakovna - they lived richer than us - and brought me a piece of strudel or something else.

Moishe, this is for you.

Mom, have you eaten?

I don't want.

I started leading a club at the meat processing plant, teaching ballroom and Western dancing. For this I received a bag of horse bones. Mom tore off pieces of meat from them and made cutlets half and half with bread, and the bones were used for broth. At night I threw the bones away from the house so that they would not know that they were ours. She knew how to cook a delicious dinner out of nothing. When I started earning a lot, she cooked chicken necks and tsimmes. She cooked herring so well that you could go crazy! My friends at the Kyrgyz Opera and Ballet Theater still remember: “Misha! How your mother fed us all!”

But at first we lived very poorly. Mom said: “Tomorrow we are going to the Melomeds’ wedding. There we will eat gefilte fish, goose cracklings. We don't have this at home. Just don’t be shy, eat more.”

I already danced well and sang “Varnechkes”. This was my mother's favorite song. She listened to it like a hymn Soviet Union. And she loved Tamara Khanum because she sang “Varnechkes”.

Mom said: “At the wedding you will be asked to dance. Dance, then rest, then sing. When you sing, don't move your neck. You are not a giraffe. Don't look at everyone. Stand against me and sing for your mommy, the rest will listen.” I saw the rebbe, the bride and groom under the chuppah at a wedding. Then everyone sat down at the table. Music played and dancing began. Mommy said: “Now Moishe will dance.” I danced five or six times. Then she said: “Moishe, now sing!” I stood opposite her and began: “Are you nemt men, wu nemt men, wu nemt men?..” Mom said: “See what talent!” And they told her: “Thank you, Sofya Mikhailovna, for raising a Jewish boy correctly. Others, like Russians, don’t know anything in Jewish.”

My stepmother was also a gypsy. She taught me to tell fortunes and steal at the market. I was very good at stealing. She said: “Little little girl, come here, we’ll sing.”

I was accepted into the troupe of the Kyrgyz Opera and Ballet Theater. Mom attended all my performances. Mom asked me:

Moishe, tell me, are Russians a people?

Yes mom.

Are the Spaniards people too?

People, mom.

And the Indians?

Are Jews not a people?

Why, mom, people too.

And if these are the people, then why don’t you dance the Jewish dance? In “Eugene Onegin” you dance a Russian dance, in “Lakme” you dance a Hindu dance.

Mom, who will show me Jewish dance?

I'll show you.

How will you show me? (She was very heavy, probably weighed 150 kg.)

What about your legs?

You can figure it out yourself.

She hummed and showed me “Freylekhs”, also called “Seven Forty”. At 7.40 the train left from Odessa to Chisinau. And at the station everyone was dancing. I revered Sholom Aleichem and made myself the “A Junger Schneider” dance. The suit was made, as it were, from scraps of material that remain with the tailor. The trousers are short, the back is made of a different material. I played it all out in dance. This dance became my encore: I repeated it three or four times during the encore.

Mom said: “Baby, do you think I want you to dance a Jewish dance because I’m Jewish? No. The Jews will talk about you: have you seen him dance the Brazilian dance? or Spanish dance? They won't talk about Jewish things. But they will love you for your Jewish dance.”

In Belarusian cities in those years when Jewish art was not very encouraged, Jewish spectators asked me: “How were you allowed to do Jewish dance?” I answered: “I allowed myself.”

Mom had her own place in the theater. They said: “Misha’s mother is sitting here.” Mom asked me:

Moishe, you dance the best, they clap for you the most, but why does everyone bring flowers, but not you?

Mom, we have no relatives.

Isn’t that what people wear?

No. Relatives.

Then I come home. We had one room, an iron bed stood opposite the door. I see my mother with her head under the bed and shuffling something around there. I speak:

Mom, get out immediately, I’ll get what you need.

Moishe,” she says. - I see your legs. So, make sure I don’t see them. Get out.

I walked away, but I saw everything. She pulled out a bag, from it she took out a darned old felt boot, and from it - a rag. The rag contained a wad of money tied with twine.

Mom,” I say, “where did you get that kind of money?”

Son, I collected it so that you don’t have to run around and look for something to bury your mommy with. Okay, they'll bury it that way.

In the evening I dance in “Raymond” by Abdurakhman. In the first act, I fly onto the stage in a luxurious cape, in gold, and in a turban. Raymonda plays the lute. We meet eyes. We look at each other in fascination. The curtain is coming. I actually haven’t danced yet, I just jumped on stage. After the first act, the administrator gives me a luxurious bouquet. The flowers were handed over to the administrator and told who to give them to. After the second act they give me a bouquet again. After the third - too. I already realized that all this is mommy. The play was performed in four acts. This means that after the fourth there will be flowers. I gave the administrator all three bouquets and asked them to give me all four in the finale. He did just that. In the theater they said: “Think about it, they threw flowers at Esambaev.” The next day, mommy removed the withered flowers, there were three bouquets, then two, then one. Then she bought flowers again.

One day my mother got sick and was in bed. And they give me flowers. I bring flowers home and say:

Mom, why did you get up! You need to lie down.

Moishe,” she says. - I didn’t get up. I can not get up.

Where do the flowers come from?

People realized that you deserve flowers. Now they carry it for you themselves.

I became the leading artist of the Kyrgyz theater and received all the awards there. I love Kyrgyzstan as my homeland. They treated me like family there.

Shortly before Stalin's death, my mother learned from her friend Esther Markovna that preparations were being made for the eviction of all Jews. She came home and told me:

Well, Moishe, like Chechens we were deported here, like Jews we are being deported even further. Barracks are already being built there.

Mom,” I say, “you and I have already learned to drive.” Wherever they send us, we will go there, the main thing is for us to be together. I will not leave you.

When Stalin died, she said: “Now it will be better.” She wanted me to marry a Jewish woman, the daughter of an Odessa resident Pakhman. And I was courting an Armenian woman. Mom said:

Tell me, Moishe, does she feed you? (This was back during the war.)

No, I say, he doesn’t feed.

But if you were caring for Pakhman’s daughter...

Mom, she has skinny legs.

And his face is so beautiful, and his hair... Just think, he needs legs!

When I married Nina, I cannot say that friendship arose between her and my mother.

I started teaching dance at the Ministry of Internal Affairs school - money appeared. I bought my mother a gold watch with a chain, and Nina a white metal watch. Wife says:

You bought them for mom with a gold chain instead of buying them for me. I’m young, and my mother could wear simple ones.

Nina, I say, aren’t you ashamed?! What good mom seen in this life? Let her at least be glad that she has such a watch.

They stopped talking, but never fought with each other. Only once, when Nina, sweeping the floor, came out with the trash, her mother said: “By the way, Moishe, you could have married better.” That's the only thing she said about her.

My daughter was born. Mom took her in her arms and put her between hers. big breasts, caressed. The daughter loved her grandmother very much. Then Nina and her mother sorted it out themselves. And my mother says to me: “Moishe, I’m looking after Nina, she’s not bad. And the fact that you didn’t marry Pakhman’s daughter is also good: she’s spoiled. She wouldn’t be able to do everything like that for you.” She and Nina began to live together.

During this time, my father had already changed several wives. He lived not far from us. Mom says:

Moishe, your father brought a new nikeyva. Go take a look.

Mom, I say, she’s so scary!

It serves him right.

She died when she was 91 years old. It happened like this. She had a sister, Mira. She lived in Vilnius. She came to us in Frunze. She began to invite her mother to stay with her: “Sofa, come! Misha is already a family man. He won’t be lost for a month or two without you.” As I tried to dissuade her: “The climate is different there. At your age it’s impossible!” She says: “Moishe, I’ll stay a little and come back.” She went and never came back.

She was a very kind person. We lived with her wonderful life. Never needed my father. She replaced me my own mother. If they were both alive now, I wouldn’t know who to approach and hug first.

Since ancient times, Chechens have had special respect for women because they brought life, peace and tranquility to people. Folklore and literary sources speak about this. The cult of the mother among the Chechens is also indicated by the presence of the component “nana” (“mother”) in phrases that are sacred to the people: “nana-mokhk”, “nenan mott”, “kh1usamnana”.

A woman, first of all, is a mother, because she sows and cultivates the seeds of goodness in children and family. The degree of integrity depends on her level of integrity. moral education children, therefore it is considered the heart of the nation, its spiritual image.

Many severe trials befell Chechen woman. Along with beauty and femininity, qualities such as strength of will, loyalty to her word, courage and bravery have always been valued in her. In the most difficult times for the long-suffering Chechen people, she shared with men all the hardships and deprivations of fate. And at the same time she jealously guarded her honor and reputation. The most striking example of this quality of our fellow tribesmen is captured in the events of two centuries ago.

After Ermolov burned the village of Dadi-Yurt in September 1819, the soldiers decided to transport 46 captive girls across the Terek, but in the middle of the river they began to throw themselves into the river, dragging the guards with them, so as not to fall into the hands of the enemies. They died with dignity, but did not allow themselves to be disgraced. The village of Dadi-Yurt was burned, but the feat of the valiant Chechen women will not be forgotten.

And this is far from the only example of such behavior of women who, next to their fathers, brothers, and husbands, took up arms in their hands to defend their homeland.

For example, the daughter of the famous Chechen sheikh, a prominent religious and political figure of the North Caucasus of the 19th century, Gazi-Khadzhi Zandaksky Tea (Toa), before she even got married, became side by side with her brothers in Gazavat during the Chechen uprising of 1877 under the leadership of her cousin Alibek-Khadzhi Aldamova. She died in a battle in the vicinity of the village of Simsara, Nozhai-Yurtovsky district, in early October 1877 and was buried there. Her grave - “Tei kash” - is known to every resident of Simsar, young and old. She became the Chechen Joan of Arc, a national heroine, whose name and feat should be known and remembered by descendants.”

It is gratifying that in memory of the heroic girls who preferred death to dishonor, a holiday has been established in our republic - Chechen Women's Day, which is celebrated annually on the third Sunday of September.

We know many examples of the unprecedented heroism of the daughters of Chechnya. Their selfless love and devotion to the Motherland could sometimes overpower their attachment to family and children when she blessed her sons for protection native land. And this despite the fact that the Chechen mother has always been an example of maternal love, affection and care. Her maternal instinct is stronger than her instinct of self-preservation.

There are many myths and legends that tell about how strong a mother's love is. They say that a certain young man fell in love with a girl, but she did not reciprocate his feelings. He began to pester with matchmaking and then the cruel girl told him that she would marry him if he brought her his mother’s heart.

The young man, blinded by love, came home, killed his mother, took her heart and carried it to the girl. On the way, he tripped and fell to his knees. Then the mother’s heart compassionately asked him: “Aren’t you hurt, son?” That's how strong a mother's love is. Therefore, it is customary for Chechens to treat their mother, her relatives, and also their wife’s relatives with special respect.

A woman occupies a prominent place in Chechen folklore and literary sources. In national mythology, “ts1enana” is “mother of fire,” and fire is life. According to mythology, the mother of fire lives in fire and is the guardian of purity. This kind spirit gives people hot food, light and warmth. Therefore, the most terrible curse among the Chechen people is “so that the fire in your house goes out.”

My heart bleeds when I remember an incident told to me by a friend. It was in the cold February of the monstrous year of 1944, when Chechens were expelled from their native land. During the long and terrible journey, in freight cars pierced from all sides by the icy wind, death tirelessly mowed down even the hitherto healthy. The guards simply threw the bodies of the dead onto the side of the railway. At each stop, the carriages were inspected by soldiers to find corpses, since their voluntary transfer was out of the question, although people were shot on the spot for deliberately concealing the dead or opposing the removal of corpses.

In the same carriage with my friend, who told me this scary story, a young mother was traveling with infant. The child could not withstand the harsh tests and died in the arms of his mother. However, the mother, who wanted to bury her child according to customs, hiding the grief that befell her from the “Defender of the Fatherland,” did not show it. Every time soldiers entered the carriage, she imitated breastfeeding and rocked her baby in her arms, as if trying to calm him down. This continued until we arrived at the special settlements, where the baby was buried.

A difficult story that is difficult to listen to without tears, but at the same time this is an example of a mother with a capital M, this is an example of a Chechen mother! It was about such mothers that our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) spoke: “Paradise is under the feet of our mothers.”

There is no need to delve into the distant past to give examples of the exploits of Chechen women. It is enough to trace the last two decades and we will discover countless such examples. The heroines of our time, despite their early gray hair and bottomless fatigue in their eyes, are on average no more than fifty. The tragic events of the 90s occurred in their youth. They were the ones who saved children and old people during bomb attacks, without dividing between friends and foes. It was they who, risking their lives, transported the wounded through federal checkpoints. It was they who had to save the civilian population, abandoned to the mercy of fate in the most terrible days, from starvation. It was our women who supplied the republic, squeezed in the grip of hopelessness, with provisions and medicines. To do this, they had to go to the neighboring republics and literally on their own shoulders, fording the river (as was the case at the famous Gerzel post), despite the bad weather, dragging bales and boxes, bags and trunks with much-awaited food, medicine and supplies. necessary.

During the period of post-war devastation, Chechen women worked tirelessly along with men, restoring the republic, and in a variety of sectors: on construction sites and in libraries, in shopping arcades and on the stage, in government and the housing and communal services sector, in medicine, education, the social sphere. household services.

And at the same time, Chechen women, as a rule, always remain restrained and modest, not for a moment forgetting about their original purpose and the need to exist in harmony with the behests of their ancestors. This is the peculiarity of the Chechen woman, this is her value and dignity.

Chechen woman-guardian of the hearth, Chechen mother, Chechen woman-symbol of purity and innocence - behind all these epithets one can see the scale of the Chechen woman’s responsibility to society, to her ancestors and descendants. But the great mission that she carried out with dignity over the centuries, raising her sons - konakhs and protecting the home, was not limited to just this.

The role of women in Chechen society is as important as it is responsible. From century to century, the Chechen woman stood guard family values and traditions established by ancestors.

The Vainakhs have the concept of “kyonakh” (“ko – “son” + “nakh” - “people”, that is, the son of the people, a true man - this is what the Chechens say about a brave, noble, courageous person. He appears in Chechen folk poetry as a fighter for truth and justice, showing bravery and bravery in battles with the enemy and foreigners.” This concept, as a rule, is associated with a representative of the male half: bearded, mustachioed, armed and wearing a hat. , a woman can also be a noble person. Today there are many of us. Some women behave much more worthy than some men. They are usually called “konakh-zuda” - (this is the highest assessment of a woman). , there are and will be.

It is we men who are largely to blame for the fact that the Chechen woman was put in a very humiliating position in the 90s.

IN Lately The position of women in our society is certainly changing. Indeed, unlike some foreign countries, where women are relegated to a humiliating and dependent position, the role of women in our society continues to increase every year, and our women - free, proud, talented and beautiful - not only successfully cope with their direct responsibilities , but also try to compete with the stronger sex in traditionally male fields of activity, although this, of course, is not always good. There is nothing more terrible than an excessively emancipated woman, for a woman (and a Chechen woman even more so - M.O.) in any circumstances must maintain tenderness, femininity, and modesty.

In my opinion, it is women mothers and women workers who should receive special attention in our republic. In addition to measures social support, undertaken by the leadership of the republic in relation to the weak half of the population, we celebrate three women's holidays annually: International Women's Day; Chechen Women's Day and Mother's Day, established by Decree of the President of the Russian Federation in 1998. It is celebrated in last sunday November.

So our republic is perhaps the only one where women are celebrated three times a year. This, of course, is not enough. We must constantly protect them, surround them with attention and care.

Often men, being convinced that this world is in their care, forget that from birth to their last breath they themselves are surrounded by the constant care and attention of women. And we hardly notice that, in addition to the main load at work, all their lives they carry on their fragile shoulders the grueling burden of our everyday life, and yet most men, if they had a chance to do ordinary women's affairs, in all likelihood, they would have stretched out their legs very quickly (maybe I’m exaggerating somewhat - M.O.), but personally I have no doubt that in everyday terms our women are much more resilient than us men, and in addition, they are much more sensitive and, of course, kinder. Therefore, probably, if women still ruled the world, then there would be much fewer wars in the world.

In some countries, women are appointed to the most responsible positions, including the Minister of Defense. And not at all because they are glorious warriors, but because a woman in the most extreme situation will sincerely try to save human life, because only those who give, by the will of the Almighty, life know for certain its real value.

If we men were a little more attentive to our fair half, every new day could become bright, eventful and joyful for them. To do this, it is enough to look around, appreciate the beauty and charm of the women around us. Throughout the history of the Chechen people, they have been distinguished by their devotion to family, hard work, tolerance and wisdom. Therefore, the present and future of our people largely depends on them.

Our dear wives, with all my heart I wish you good health, prosperity, great human happiness, success in all your affairs and endeavors!

Let the warm spring sun charge you with energy, and let the festive mood, joy and love of life always be with you!

Movla Osmayev

Information agency "Grozny-inform"

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My husband, a descendant of Georgian princes, said that his grandfather, coming home from work, and he was a cook in the famous Moscow restaurant "Aragvi", sat down at the table, lowered his heavy fist onto its surface and said significantly: "You were created by me"! And the whole family, and especially its younger members, obeyed him unquestioningly.

U different nations There are very different traditions of raising children, some pamper their children, others place them in Spartan conditions from birth. But we all have one thing in common - we sincerely wish happiness and prosperity to the younger generation.

Chechens

A parable is very popular in the republic: a young mother came to an old man to ask: “At what time should you start raising a child?” “How old is your son now?” – asked the sage. “A month,” the woman answered. “You are exactly 30 days late,” the elder sighed.

In Chechnya, the most important thing is still preserved ancient tradition– having many children. Every newborn is sincerely wished to have 7 brothers, and it doesn’t matter which child it is in the family, maybe the 3rd, or maybe the 5th. The authority of a man, a father, a grandfather is indisputable here.

President of the Republic Ramzan Kadyrov said in one of his interviews: “I never sat down in the presence of my father and did not talk, I only answered when asked. I tried not to go into the room where my parents were together. My father and I never recent years they did not communicate in the presence of my grandfather. I don't remember my father praising me. It's the same in our family. I never spoke to my wife and children in front of my father, we were raised that way, and this tradition will continue."

Famous Caucasus expert, historian Adolphe Berger claimed that Chechens never scold their sons so that they do not grow up to be cowards. As the Vainakh proverb says: “a horse that has been beaten with a whip will never become a real horse.” And in the republic they practically do not abandon children; if something happens to the parents, the child will be taken in by relatives, even the most distant ones, or in extreme cases, neighbors. Refusing to shelter an orphan is a disgrace to the entire family.

Yakuts

In ancient times, the Yakuts had a school for heroic education, to which boys were sent from the age of 3, a unique, individual military training. The teacher there was the father or an honored warrior-mentor. The system was based on Spartan and even more severe traditions: they threw burning coals at the child and taught them to dodge them, and later they shot wooden arrows with short needles attached to them. And protective armor was issued only after passing full course and passing a difficult exam. From that moment on, the boy became a man and received the title “bootur”, warrior.

Mordva

Preference in the republic has long been given to boys, the successors of the family; a daughter was considered a burden in the family. If a son appeared, they said: “Ved-ava (the goddess, patroness of love and childbirth) gave it,” if a daughter, “Ved-ava abandoned it.” And also: “Feed your son - it will do for yourself, feed your daughter - people will need it,” or “Your son is a house guest, your daughter will become a person.” Among Mordovians“Pomochi”, a kind of subbotnik, have long been widespread, when the whole village gathered and free of charge helped one neighbor build a house, another dig a well, and a third slaughter livestock for the holiday. And the children were raised in the spirit of collectivism and mutual assistance. Boys from the age of 10 already went to help, doing feasible work. And the girls took part in competitions - female version joint work. The housewife, who needed help spinning wool, knitting stockings or mittens, hired the same teenagers for sweets or baked goods to gather as many girls and young women as possible. The barkers walked from house to house making a lot of noise, knocking on the windows with sticks and calling for a response. There were daytime supryads - "chin supryad" and nighttime ones - "ven supryad". During the day they wore casual clothes, and during the night they wore festive clothes, since the latter often included guys. During breaks between work, we got to know each other, played, danced, and sang.

Don Cossacks

After baptism, a saber, bullet or arrow was always placed in the boy’s cradle, which was called “on the tooth.” And they watched his reaction: if he starts playing, that’s a good sign; if he starts crying, it’s worth thinking about. Initiation into the Cossacks took place at 3-4 years of age. On this day, all the relatives gathered, the father put his son on a horse, gave him a saber in his hands, and led him around the yard, and then along the entire street. Then the Cossack woman was also taken on horseback to the church, where a prayer service was served. He moved from the female half of the house to the male half, his older brothers checked his pillow and blanket, and mercilessly threw them out if they seemed too warm and soft, admonishing them: “Learn to serve, you are now not a child, but half a Cossack.” Next, all forces were directed to physical development teenager. And even games with peers were mostly active and competitive. But it is interesting that they always took place under the supervision of the village elders, who strictly monitored compliance with the rules and the behavior of everyone, and in case of violations, they stopped the fun and strictly admonished the offender. At the age of 7, the boy already knew how to shoot, and at 10, he could chop with a saber. And upon reaching the age of 21, he reported for service “on horseback and with weapons,” possessing all the necessary skills to protect domestic borders.

Jews

The image of a Jewish mother is very vivid in books, films and jokes. She acts as a symbol of hypertrophied maternal instinct, complete and unlimited dedication to her, sometimes very over-aged child. By all laws, such a parent should grow up absolutely helpless, infantile child. However, this does not happen! Jewish children mature early and are sometimes ahead of their peers in development. They With early age are accustomed not to hang out on the street, but to go to music school, chess club, art studio, etc. It would seem that, limited in communication and their own desires, they must adolescence break loose and rebel. And again - by. Thanks to the habit of a strict schedule and the numerous skills they have acquired, Jewish children are more disciplined, spend less time on school lessons, achieve more, and organize their day as efficiently as possible. And in the end, as they grow up, they achieve quite good results.

Did you like any parenting model? Feel free to take it as a basis. After all, one of the advantages of living in a large multinational state is the opportunity to adopt each other’s best traits. However, remember that your child is individual, unique, one of a kind, and therefore, while observing national traditions, do not forget to listen to his desires and interests.

Evgenia Asatiani

https://www.site/2018-01-10/chechenka_poprosila_mat_ramzana_kadyrova_povliyat_na_syna

“You are not worthy to be the head of the republic”

Chechen woman asked Ramzan Kadyrov's mother to influence her son

Still from Youtube

A resident of Chechnya recorded a video message to the head of Chechnya, Ramzan Kadyrov, demanding that he stop kidnappings. The video is posted on the Anti Kadyrov channel on Youtube.com.

The woman, without giving her name, accuses the head of the republic of kidnapping people in Chechnya on his orders and calls on Kadyrov to return their children to their mothers. “You are not worthy to be the head of the republic. Even the shepherd who takes the sheep to pasture brings them back, and you cannot even be trusted with this job. The Chechen people honor Allah, but you are not afraid of him at all,” says the woman.

According to her, “Putin put Kadyrov in charge,” but the head of Chechnya abused this trust and is causing chaos.

The author of the video also mentions singer Zelimkhan Bakaev, who disappeared last year. According to her, he was kidnapped on Kadyrov’s orders on charges of homosexuality, although he himself is not gay. In another appeal - to Kadyrov’s mother Aimani Kadyrova - the woman asks to tell her son to stop killing innocent young people.

Let us remind you that the Novaya Gazeta publication spoke about secret prisons for gays in Chechnya, as well as about the mass murders of people of non-traditional sexual orientation last year. Subsequently, this topic was repeatedly raised in human rights communities. The publication provided a list of dozens of names of victims. The Chechen authorities have repeatedly denied this information, stating that there are simply no and cannot be gays in Chechnya.

Human rights organizations trying to understand this topic have come under pressure. Thus, the Commissioner for Human Rights in Chechnya, Nurdi Nukhazhiev, at the end of last year announced his intention to contact the prosecutor’s office of the republic and Roskomnadzor with a demand to block the information sites “Caucasian Knot” and “Kavkaz.Realii”.

These sites very often write about human rights violations in the republic. However, according to the Chechen Ombudsman, their activities are “dysfunctional” and “destructive” in nature. “In order to prevent the destabilization of the socio-political situation in the republic and the information and psychological impact on the individual and mass consciousness of civil society, as well as on the system of state power, it is necessary to urgently take measures to counter information sabotage,” the Chechen human rights activist is confident.

“There is an increase in the negative flow of information aimed at discrediting the socio-political system in the Chechen Republic, depriving the subject of investor confidence, undermining authority and image, and also provoking social tension among the population. And something needs to be done about this,” says Nukhazhiev’s statement published on the ombudsman’s official website.

Good day to all! I am Chechen! My name is Kheda, I was born and raised, I have lived in Chechnya all my life! My father is a mountain Chechen, and my mother is Russian. I want to say right away that I have never talked to guys of a different nationality, my brothers would have simply killed me for that. I want to talk about our Vainakhs, since our guys often communicate with girls of other nations and deceive them. You know, I really feel bad for the girls, I swear, when I see how our men treat them. I'm not talking about all Chechens, I'm talking about the majority. There are many stories on the forum where Russian girls communicated with Chechens, endured their temper for years, even forgave assault, and then these guys married their Chechen girlfriends and broke the girls’ hearts. Girls, my dears, I ask you, you shouldn’t waste your nerves on a Chechen. Not a single guy is worth forgiving beatings, betrayals... It’s just that our guys, they rarely take Slavic women seriously, most just fool the girls’ heads... It’s rare that our guys marry someone other than Vain. And they lie that “my parents are against it” and that “my parents got me married.” Nobody forcibly marries guys anymore. This hasn't happened for a long time. The guy is a ram, do you think that you can take him and marry him?! Even a girl is rarely forced into marriage, but there is no such thing about guys in general. It’s just a standard excuse when a guy hangs noodles on a Russian girl!
The second point is that guys allow themselves to raise their hands on a woman. For me this is completely unforgivable. If a guy, meeting a Vainashka, had even laid a finger on her, he would have been buried alive among us! Such things are not forgiven here. After the wedding, this could happen, although there is also a possibility that if the brothers find out, they will take the girl home and beat him themselves! If our guys behave this way towards you, don’t allow it. You shouldn't forgive people like that, they don't change. Once he raised his hand, he doesn’t respect you or your family, and you shouldn’t forgive such a person, much less dream of marrying him. RUN.
Don't let anyone treat you like that, that's my advice. If a guy loves you, he will marry, even though the whole world will be against it. And if he excuses himself, raises his hand, cheats on you, then he doesn’t love you. And you shouldn’t waste your nerves or your health on such a man. Believe me, girls, you are alone, but there are many guys and you will find someone worthy.
My opinion is that it is better to marry your nation, because your own is always closer. If you marry a Vainakh guy or just a Muslim, you will have to completely rebuild your life. What is normal for a Russian is not normal for a Chechen and vice versa. Are you ready to change the religion you grew up in for the sake of your loved one? Change your entire lifestyle? Leave old habits? This is very, very difficult, I know since my mother is Russian and I saw how much she suffered in her life, I would not wish such a fate on anyone!
Now I’ll tell you why I think so.
My mother got married at 17 years old. She met her father when she was 15. Dad was 26 years old when they met. He worked in the city where my mother lived. I came, saw her, fell in love. Mom was very beautiful, and is still beautiful! Light, naturally blonde, she had very long curly hair and huge blue eyes with a violet tint. Well, just like a doll, I sometimes envy even when I look at her photos in her youth. My dad was an athlete, he wrestled all his life, tall, strong, dark-haired, brown eyes. Before my mother, he was married and had a son, he has a difficult character, so his first wife (a Chechen) couldn’t stand it and left! Mom was studying at school, dad saw her by chance and looked after her, he looked after her very nicely, gave flowers and gifts. Mom fell in love with him because she had never communicated with anyone before, and then such a man began to court him, a wealthy, athlete. Her parents (my grandparents) were very against their relationship, because dad is 10 years older, and also not Russian. They were afraid for their daughter. They said that he would take a walk and quit, they didn’t let him go to meetings, they locked the house - everything was useless. Mom jumped out through the first floor window and still went on dates. Her father even beat her hard to keep her at home. When my dad found out about this, he came to talk to my grandfather so that he wouldn’t touch my mother again, but my grandfather didn’t even let him into the house. As a result, my father had to go back and he kidnapped my mother to marry her when she was leaving school. He just threw him into the car and took him to Grozny. There were many proceedings later with the police, my father was put on the wanted list, but he still did not give up my mother. He brought it to his parents (they all lived together in a big house). Of course, his parents were against it, very much against it, they even told him to return the girl home and promised to find him a good Chechen girl, but dad was adamant.
As a result, my mother was accepted, she got married and converted to Islam. At first it was very difficult for her, because she was just a girl, and her mother-in-law was unhappy and hated her. Even once, my father’s mother locked my mother in the basement in the winter so that she would freeze, but then she felt ashamed. My father did not let my mother study further; he closed the house. She very much regretted that she married her father, he was jealous of her, did not allow her to go out alone, once her mother went to the store without a scarf, and the neighbors saw it. When dad found out, he hit her. Even when they were invited to a wedding, and my mother went out to dance, he later hit her at home for this. He said she would do this one more time and he would kill her. Many Chechens are very jealous and possessive. If it's mine, it's mine. That's what they think. Mom forgot to wear trousers and began to wear only below-the-knee shorts and floor-length dresses. All the neighbors were discussing her, because she was Russian, a lot of bad luck was said about her mother, they made up gossip!
They even wanted to marry my father again to a Chechen woman, although he was already married to my mother, they just brazenly tried to set me up with someone. And one person (a Chechen woman) almost hung herself on his neck, although she knew that he was married. Mom suffered a lot from all the people and ruined her health. She got married and has been putting up with her father’s family and my dad all her life. They have a very different mentality, and my mother was raised differently than a Chechen, which seemed strange to her normally. Perhaps if her father had not taken her away by force, her life would have turned out differently. He really ruined her life, and he himself could have been much happier without all these problems if he had listened to his parents and married a Chechen!
His mother raised his son from his first marriage and gave birth to three more children. I have younger sister and brother. I love my family very much, and I’m glad that my parents are such wonderful people, but I really think that if they weren’t so stubborn, they could be much happier!
We, their children, grew up seeing scandals, seeing assault in the family and disrespect of the mother-in-law for the daughter-in-law! If my mother were Chechen, Vainashka, my father would not behave like that with her, because he would know about the consequences! My dad always says that he will kill anyone who lays even a finger on me, but this is how he treats my mother.
I hope this story will be instructive for many Russian beauties who communicate with the Vainakhs! Girls, I beg you, think, it’s really very difficult, do you really want such a fate for yourself?! It will be much easier with a guy of your own nationality, believe me, my dears. I wish every girl only the best, my dears. Think a hundred times before tying yourself into a relationship, let alone marriage, with a Muslim man.