Audio toast health. For health

On our website you will find more than 300 original author's toasts for the anniversary. More than 300 authors work especially for you, new toasts for the anniversary appear daily, both in prose and in verse. We have already covered all possible anniversaries: round dates - 30th, 40th, 50th, 60th, 70th, etc. years. Various occasions: wedding anniversaries, company anniversaries. different types toasts: funny, funny, wise, original, beautiful.... And we continue to replenish our database so that you can choose the best, most interesting and suitable toast for your anniversary.

Anniversary toast

Our beautiful hero of the day
He's not old at all!
And so we want
Drink vodka with him!
So that he is always healthy,
He did not scold the doctors,
He was always with money
I would never be sad
So that he was lucky in everything!
Let's drink to him today!

Anniversary toast

I wish that everything in your life was strengthened: wine, health,
friendship, spirit and family hearth. For the hero of the day.

Toast to the hero of the day

Happy Anniversary
And with love we wish you:
Happiness, joy, patience
And great luck
Respect and warmth
In the house of all good things.
We raise our glasses
Congratulations to the hero of the day.
May he live happily
Eating meat and drinking vodka.

50th anniversary toast

Once the great Eastern sage Haja Nasreddin said good words: “It is at the age of fifty that a person begins to understand life perfectly and he has a real taste for life.” Judging by the set table, you have great taste! So let's drink to ensure that the table in your house is always full, as on the day of your anniversary!

Anniversary toast 60 years

You know, on Georgian holidays, they first drink for the youth. These are those who are under sixty. So let's congratulate our
hero of the day with the transition to adult life!

Best Anniversary Toast

I will say best toast for the anniversary
Grab a glass of wine!
And you can drink vodka slowly,
After all, this day she is also good!
Live among the raging passions
I wish you many bright and happy days!
Accept gifts from all your friends,
And do not regret the days you have lived!
I wish you wealth, kindness,
Live joyfully, in love, without fuss!
I wish you much happiness and warmth,
And may the beautiful star guide you!
So let's drink drinks, friends, we
And let the flowers bloom today!

Anniversary toast to parents

Although today is your holiday, anniversary, but let me drink to your roots, to that spring from which the river of your life originates, to your parents! Indeed, without them, your existence would simply not be possible, and you would not have grown up to be such a wonderful person, if not for their upbringing! In general, for them, for those who gave you this world. And to us you!

60th anniversary toast

I wish the hero of the day Siberian health
Caucasian longevity
And to drink a glass
We are for your century

Toast in verses for the Anniversary

Now pour into a glass of wine
And we will drink it to the bottom,
Let there be more bright days
Like this anniversary
We wish you cherished dreams
Smiles on the face are only bright!
Let's congratulate our birthday boy on his anniversary and drink to ensure that all dreams come true!

Toast to the hero of the day

I want to wish that tomorrow, everyone who is present at this table starts the day with the famous phrase Viy
from Gogol's novel "Evenings on a Farm near Dikanka" - "Raise my eyelids."
For this wonderful holiday! And for our beloved hero of the day!

Answer toast of the hero of the day

You came today
Ate-drank, ate-drank,
All the words told me
And they gave gifts.
And then you danced
Glasses famously raised.
Everyone tried to please me
They hugged and kissed.
Thank you all, I love you all
I will invite you again.
Let's drink, my relatives and loved ones, for you, for your attention and love!

Mom's birthday toast

My sweet mother! I want to drink to you today: to your beautiful hands that raised me; for maternal affection, which warms me even in the most severe everyday life; for your kind motherly heart, which feels everything; for your motherly soul, which always understands me! For your anniversary!

Toast to the health of the hero of the day

So that the body has health, drink vodka people in moderation,
For fun and for songs, drink as much as you like.

Gypsy toast, Anniversary

If a gypsy's wife is stolen, the gypsy will laugh. If a horse is stolen from a gypsy, the gypsy will cry.
If you steal a song, the gypsy will be silent ...
Therefore, I wish that your horse is always under the bridle, your wife is at your side, and the song is sung!
Happy Anniversary, dear!

Anniversaries toast

It's only in childhood we are pleased
Congratulations to receive friends.
And over the years it will certainly become
It's hard for us to deal with life.
Anniversaries remind us
That another stage is lived,
After all, over the years, people understand
Time is in such a hurry.
I didn’t have time, I forgot, I passed, I left ...
Life flies, you can not catch up with it.
Let's drink to the fact that these rules
The hero of the day would never know.
Let him have time, remember, do not leave,
Let it not pass by happiness,
Let the riddle of time know
And let us reveal its secret to us.

Anniversary toast

Today is a holiday - anniversary,
Pour it into a glass of wine!
I want to say a short toast
For beauty and love!
For happiness and a luxurious table,
Because you are always kind to us!
For your bright dream
I drink…
And can I pour some more?

Anniversary toast

I want to pronounce
Great anniversary toast!
May luck and love reign!
We congratulate the hero of the day together,
We all fill our glasses quickly!
And may all your dreams come true
We drink to the triumph of magical kindness!

Mom's Anniversary Toast

One famous person said: "You will not stop being a child until you have a mother." I propose to drink for the most selfless person who is ready to do everything for the sake of his loved ones - for our mother. Let's congratulate her on her anniversary, and wish her a long life. Agree that your heart is warm and cozy when you know what mommy thinks about you every minute.

Parable toast for the anniversary of 70 years

As a congratulations, I want to tell the following parable:
“There was a withered tree near the road. One day late in the evening a thief passed by in the dark, and he thought he saw the silhouette of a policeman. The thief got scared and ran away. After a while, a young man in love passed by a tree. He noticed the silhouette of his beloved from afar, so he quickened his step. When a mother and her baby passed by the tree, the child began to cry because he thought it was a scary ghost. But the truth is that a tree is just a tree, and the world around us is a reflection of ourselves.”
I want to drink for our birthday boy, who turns 70 today. Agree, this is a respectable age that deserves special respect and reverence. Ours has lived a decent life, he still has many plans and goals ahead of him. I want to wish that only joyful and happy “silhouettes” such as himself and his whole life meet in the life of our birthday man.

Anniversary toast

Happy Anniversary, New Happiness
Congratulations on this day.
Let all bad weather recede
After all, today is the anniversary.
Let's drink for the hero of the day
May he live happily
Let there be few mistakes
Let it bloom like an apple tree!

Toast for the 55th Anniversary

If you don’t like your age, then just change your attitude towards it, because you still can’t change your age! So I want to raise a glass to your amazing age and your unbending optimism! And, of course, for a positive outlook on everything that happens in your life!

Anniversary toast

We need to celebrate the round date,
To repeat it.
We have wishes in mind
Get more wine.
We will drink all evening for good luck
And for a happy life
And for a pleasant good meeting,
And for the years that have passed.
Most of all I ask you today
Drink to what's to come.
May only happiness and joy be much
Tomorrow the culprit is waiting!

Congratulate mom on the anniversary toast

~
Congratulations to our mother
She's a birthday girl!
And with cunning cunning
Looks like the moon is in the window.
You are the most beautiful in the world
After all, there is no more beautiful mother!
Forever yours we are children
Even though we are many years old!
Be healthy and happy
Be cheerful and full of strength
The sweetest and most beloved!
For you, mommy, to the bottom!

Anniversary toast

High, high in the mountains lived a lonely highlander. He was a hermit, no one could climb so high up the mountain where his lonely house stood. Once a highlander found a little crow with a broken wing. He took him out, brought him up. And when the highlander had a birthday, already a huge old raven said to him - Happy anniversary.
So let's drink to the fact that our hero of the day is congratulated not by one crow, but by many people!

22. Anniversary toast

We have an anniversary today
For this, pour it on everyone,
Be always healthy and happy
And, of course, lucky.
Know that the main thing in life is family,
And also your reliable friends!
Anniversary is a special birthday! For some reason, we are all attracted to round dates, they have some kind of mystery, some kind of charm and expectation of happy changes in life. Let's drink to our hero of the day and wish him that all changes and events are only joyful and bring satisfaction with life.
Blossomed to my delight.

Any feast is not complete without a traditional toast to health. Many believe that too many glasses were raised and drunk for him so that his health remained strong and no illness bothered him. This statement can be treated quite differently. A toast to health can be made with mineral water in a glass, those who are nearby at this moment should definitely be reminded that the state of the body depends only on the actions of everyone. You can treat yourself with care, start leading healthy lifestyle life and give up all bad habits. It is imperative to wish everyone willpower and understanding that the future of each depends only on the person himself. Health is indeed a gift that needs support and care, this must be remembered.

Let one be strangely happy
When another has a dozen misfortunes!
And let the souls burn with joy,
And my hands itch from a huge jackpot,
And the heart beats from instant luck,
And blind eyes from the beauties of the incomparable,
Shaking knees from the sleepless night
And, like kids, hormones frolic ...
So let's drink two hundred, good friends,
For these heavy our illnesses!
For us to hurt them again,
We will drink, eat and be healthy!

I know that all women are beautiful
And his kindness, and mind!
And with a wish of happiness
We drink to their health!

The moon hid behind a cloud
And appeared again.
Let me have a glass of vodka
Raise for your health!

For you, my joy,
I'm ready to drink everything in a row:
Alcohol, grape drink,
And perfume, and honey, and poison!
Will I look tough?
Will I get used to the earth?
If only you were healthy -
That's all I need!!!

I raise my glass
To drink to your health
But I don't want to be drunk with wine,
I want to be drunk with your love!

I'm sad that you're sick
I want to hug you harder
To make you softer and warmer
I raise the bar! Get well soon!

We wish you happiness and good
We wish you a full life
We wish you joy in the morning
Until late at night.
We wish you to do everything in life
And not getting old, but getting younger.
Health, vivacity to keep
And live for many, many years.

I want to drink to health!
It would seem that beaten toast.
How important is onion for us to eat with the flu
And strictly observe fasting for everyone!
But from the excitement of the disease
So it's hard to protect loved ones.
So let's get together
Loving, we take care of each other!

For health a glass of wine
I will gladly drink to the bottom today.
Health to owners and guests!
From pure heart Wish you.

We drink for the health of the body and soul,
May good luck accompany you
So that you become even happier and richer,
May all your days be good!

In every fate are marked
The main milestones of the roads.
Don't waste your luck
And God help you!
To severe diseases
The world was not allowed to fall
Be perfectly healthy.
And you will not be attacked!

Let the days pass without looking back
And let them run, years fly,
Let's not be afraid of age
And we will always be young!
I drink to it, gentlemen!

Fill up your glass quickly
Let's drink to health!
Diseases so that no one knows
I wish you all with love!
To never touch
You have neither a sore throat nor a cold,
And to be even
Heart rate amplitude!

I wish never
Diseases did not concern you!
Health was always
The fire of love in the soul is not extinguished!
Let's pour a glass of wine
And accepting the wish
We will drink it all to the bottom,
Warming each other with happiness!

If you want to be happy for one minute - smoke!
If you want to be happy one day - get drunk!
If you want to be happy for one week, get sick!
If you want to be happy for one month - get married!
If you want to be happy for one year - get a mistress!
If you want to be happy all your life - be healthy!

And his kindness, and mind!
And with a wish of happiness
We drink to their health!

The moon hid behind a cloud
And appeared again.
Let me have a glass of vodka
Raise for your health!

In honor of the present banker, we will eat a piece of cheese, a piece of fish for a smile, and a piece of sausage for a hearty caress. And about the booze, too, not in one fell swoop. Cheers!

“Lord, let me outlive my enemies!”
- Well, go through ... For three years ...
So let's drink to the health of our enemies!

I want to propose a toast, so to speak, a shocking passage to N., who causes my admiration… He is moderately loyal, oppositional, constructive, womanizer, sociable, succumb… sorry, I seem to have gone too far with grammar… and beyond measure everything else. To his precious health!

There is no doubt that business people are the pillars of society that ensure its vital activity, its prosperity and its sustainability. For health business people businessmen and businesswomen!

I raise my glass
To drink to your health
But I don't want to be drunk with wine,
I want to be drunk with your love!

Together as a friendly family we will bawl out the seventh toast. For everyone's health!

I'm sad that you're sick
I want to hug you harder
To make you softer and warmer
I raise the bar! Get well soon!

I propose to drink so that we do not stop getting younger, at least once a year!

Let's drink to my health! If I am healthy, my wife will be healthy too. And if my wife is healthy, all the men of our village will be healthy. If the men of our aul are healthy, all the women will be healthy too. All women will be healthy - I will be healthy too! To the health of dear friends of this house!

I wish our dear host good health. So that he has enough health so that he can count all the money that God will send him.

For health a glass of wine
I will gladly drink to the bottom today.
Health to owners and guests!
I wish you from the bottom of my heart.

You've probably heard the expression: I want to start new life. The desire to start a new life does not come from a good life!
I propose to raise glasses so that this desire never arises in us!

We drink for the health of the body and soul,
May good luck accompany you
So that you become even happier and richer,
May all your days be good!

May your years be long, but never seem so to you!

Let the days pass without looking back
And let them run, years fly,
Let's not be afraid of age
And we will always be young!
I drink to it, gentlemen!

All visitors to the nightclub never cease to be amazed at the energy of Mr.
seventy dancing with young ladies while in between swallowing strong
cocktails. One of the young ladies decides to ask a question:
- Excuse me, sir, you delight me: you behave like a young man. Is age
doesn't affect anything?
- Unfortunately no. Yesterday I brought someone like you home at about two o'clock in the morning.
Naturally, I immediately went to bed, I wake up around three and begin to settle down to
guest, and she grumbles: “You fucked me only fifteen minutes ago ...” you see,
what sclerosis.
So let's drink to the fact that in old age only sclerosis tormented us.

I want to pay tribute to your friend ….. He is an exceptional person - he was excluded from the society of teetotalers. However, he often acts good man, and although our lives are continuous interjections, he is still cheerful. We all weave our own laces of life, but he manages to weave them from golden threads. He is elegant and charming. They composed a song about him: “Once upon a time there was a brave page in the world, a sneak at least where, one hundred and forty-six beautiful ladies said “yes” to him. To the health of our precious friend!

One person was in a car accident. He suffered very badly: he broke not only his arms and legs, but even all his fingers. However, he got to good doctors and the treatment was successful.
“Doctor,” the patient asks, “when the cast is removed, will I be able to play the piano?”
- Of course you can! the doctor answers.
- This is good! That's wonderful! the patient rejoices. - Doctor! You are just a wizard! After all, I had never played the piano before!
Let's drink to doctors who can work miracles!

A young girl married a wealthy old man. He lies in his bedroom and thinks: “Here I’ll get myself three lovers, I’ll live with ...”
Suddenly there is a knock on the door, and her old man in a night-cap and nightcap enters the room with a shuffling gait. He bleats in a goat tenor:
- Darling, I came to fulfill my conjugal duty!
“Okay, do it,” she says.
He did and left. She lies and thinks: “And the old man is something else. Three lovers, perhaps, will be too much, two will suffice.
Here again there is a knock on the door. Her old man drags his feet again in slippers.
- Darling, I came to fulfill my duty! The young wife was surprised and said:
- Come on! He did and left. She thinks: “Wow! You'll only have to take one lover." Someone knocks on the door again.
- Sign in! she called.
- Honey, I came to fulfill my conjugal duty!
- Do it when you come.
Done, gone. She thought about it: “Wow, what lovers are there when there is no rest from her husband all night!” Another knock on the door.
- Honey, I came to fulfill my ...
- Nu how many me can be torturing?! I'm not ... anymore
can!
- How? - the old man was amazed. - Have I already done it? And he smacked his forehead in annoyance. - Sorry, dear, - sclerosis!
So let's drink to our glorious medicine, which has not yet learned how to treat sclerosis!

Two firms advertise their rubber. One writes: “Our rubber soles are so resilient that one person fell from the tenth floor and jumped again to the tenth, and so he jumped and jumped again and again. I had to shoot the poor fellow."
Another firm advertises: “One got caught in his braces at a train station in Boston. When his train arrived in San Francisco, the Boston station moved in the same direction.
Let's drink to the fact that the road of our life was made of the same rubber and stretched for a hundred years.

There is such a fabulous Phoenix bird, which has the ability to burn in the nest and be reborn from the ashes again. I want to wish us such skill. No matter what troubles happen to us, we would be reborn like a Phoenix bird.
Be healthy.

The journalist came to a Georgian village where centenarians live. He asked the 120-year-old grandfather Otari:
- Do you feel your old age?
- Yes, I feel it! - answered the grandfather - When I was 110 years old, I drank 20 glasses of wine with the guests. Now I drink only 10 ...
So let's drink to live as long as grandfather Otari, and feel the same way in old age!

A man is young as much as he loves. A woman is young as long as she is loved. So let's drink to our youth!

I propose to drink to the health of those who still have it!

If you want to be happy for one day - get drunk, for a week - take a sick leave, for a month - get married or get married, for a year - get a lover or mistress, and if you want to be happy all your life - be healthy! So let's drink for the fact that we were happy all our lives, for health!

Stendhal once said, "I can't live without a few cubic feet of ideas a day." I, too, cannot live without a few cubic meters of ideas a day, and I always want to hear or say something original. I propose an exceptionally original toast: to the health of those present!

Let's drink to health - it is always lacking, to have fun - it never interferes, there was luck - it comes infrequently, so that there is joy And - it is easier to live with it and to have prosperity - it gives confidence!

who drank - left ...
who drinks will leave ...
but is he immortal?
who doesn't drink?
everyone can drink
only
know where and with whom
for what, when and how much.

The husband says to his wife:
This new hat of yours doesn't suit my taste.
- What can I do, dear, I can’t put a bottle of vodka on my head.
Let's drink to the fact that we never argue about tastes and were healthy!

One man had a backache, and he went to the doctor. The doctor examined him, then asks: — Do you smoke? - No. - Probably, you drink? - Also no. - But are you fond of women? - No. - BUT! Okay then! So, you have ... wings began to grow! To be healthy, so that your back does not hurt, you need to allow yourself something! Let's, for example, have a drink!

Let's forget, friends, about work, Let's forget about home and business, Today there is only one concern - The steam room would not let you down! For rest! For health!

I know that all women are beautiful
And his kindness, and mind!
And with a wish of happiness
We drink to their health!

The doctor sees his patient drinking glass after glass of alcohol.
— Ivanov! he gets angry. - I told you: "No more than two glasses a day!"
- Doctor, - Ivanov answers, - I am being treated ... not only with you!
You and I, too, judging by the amount of alcohol we drink, are treated by many! Let there be many doctors! For doctors!

A popular sign says that an empty bottle of wine attracts a wish-granting genie. I propose to empty another bottle to help fulfill the wishes of our birthday man.

On such a wonderful holiday
I want to raise a glass.
Then, of course, drink
But first, wish:

Stay healthy,
Happy long days
In a family of well-being
And many friends.

I wish you wealth
(Although poverty is not a vice)
To have something to spend
And to have enough for the future!

I wish you strength like a bull, wisdom like an owl, perseverance like a donkey, elegance like a panther, grace like a gazelle, health like an elephant. Well, as much money as all this living creatures weigh.

Let it be so: children will become pride, love will become the norm, friends will become a support, money will be big, health will be iron, and life will be amazing. Let all aspirations come true, all doors open, fortune smiles kindly, dreams come true. For the birthday boy!

Another year in your piggy bank
You don't regret anything
Don't be sad about your past
In joy, happiness, you always live!

I wish you success, kindness and warmth,
And to make the dream come true
To forget insults and evil,
And be sure to be lucky!

So that there is a lot of dough in the wallet,
For this today I will drink to the bottom,
To lead friendship with luck,
And never be sad!

Long ago, God created the earth. And He endowed every living creature with the same life expectancy - everyone is 30 years old. The horse plowed and plowed for 60 years, she felt sorry for herself, she decided: “I will give ten years of my life to a man. During this time he will grow wiser, invent a tractor, and it will become easier for me to live. No sooner said than done. The dog thinks: “Am I a friend to man or not?”. And she also gave her 10 years. Here the monkey says: “I read somewhere that man and I are distant relatives. So I'll give him a dozen years too. So it turns out that a person lives 60 years: 30 years is normal, 10 years he works hard like a horse, 10 years he runs like a dog, and another 10 years shriveled like a monkey. Let's drink for our birthday boy to live another 100 years, but live them humanly.

Today a man was born
Who brought everyone together
I wish you a lot of happiness, laughter,
So that no one is upset!

To have good health
And so that everything is on the shoulder,
To forget all the bad
I want to drink to this!

They say that in life you need to treat everything with a share of indifference. And the best way out of any situation is the ability to forget everything bad and keep everything positive in your memory, thank all your offenders for the invaluable experience and just move on with your head held high. I want to raise this glass to our hero of the occasion and wish him exactly as much indifference as necessary so as not to notice human stupidity and malice. And the same attentiveness to always notice good and positive deeds!

On a birthday, it is customary to wish health, love, good luck and money. I wish you understanding. So that viruses and diseases understand that you don’t need it, love and luck - that they have the right place in your life, well, and the authorities understand your value and indispensability, encouraging you to increase your salary. To this we will drink.

A healthy person is a person who is happy, and Happiness excludes old age. Desire is a force that moves the soul of a person, and a soul that is devoid of desires begins to stagnate. Therefore, one must always desire something in order to act, and act in order to become happy. Let's raise our glasses to health and desire to desire!

According to the good Russian tradition, not a single important event in a person's life is complete without table speeches, called toasts. The collection presented to your attention contains a collection of absolutely new, cheerful and original toasts for all occasions and for all tastes: from instant reactive to intricate ornate. As the people say, “would be a reason to drink”, and you will find a suitable toast in our book.

ZDOROVENKI BULA”, OR TASTING FOR HEALTH

The most convenient opportunity to show your sincere friendship, devotion and respect for a particular person (or persons) is provided during some kind of celebration. Just imagine this picture: you get up from the festive table with a glass of champagne in one hand, while taking the other picturesquely to the side and, full of good intentions, begin to say a toast to health.

And here the most interesting begins! Instead of exquisite dithyrambs about the health of the hosts and all those present, one hears an unintelligible and rather confused muttering or a story about the illnesses saturated with “interesting” details (no worse than any hospital card). As a result, the whole company finally loses interest in the newly made toastmaster, table, booze, etc. This is reflected in the faces, the expression of which boils down to the following mentally pronounced laconic phrase: “Damn it to hell, this is health ...”.

This rarely happens, but it does happen. To avoid such incidental situations, it is not at all necessary to have a bachelor's degree and study rhetoric. It is enough just to think a little and express your feelings for the person you are going to congratulate as accurately as possible.

In this chapter, the attentive reader will be able to find the most original and incendiary toasts to health.

As you know, the toast to the health of those present at the table is one of the most popular and gives way only to the traditional toasts “For Love!” and "For friendship!" It would seem that there is nothing easier than to wish each other health and long life. However, the banal “Let's raise our glasses to good health!”, especially if uttered for the fifth time, will not cause delight among others and will not make a big impression on them.

We think you need to start with one of the commandments of yogis, which says: "Get up with the thought that you are healthy, and fall asleep with it." And now let's try to rephrase it so that it matches the topic and title of our chapter. The result will be a wonderful toast that will not leave indifferent anyone who came to the festive feast: “Sit down at the table with the thought that you are healthy, get up from the table with her and at the same time manage not to fall asleep near him!”

What is needed for this? First, do not overdo it with alcohol, the use of which in unlimited quantities contributes to the fact that most toasts will remain unappreciated by you personally or misunderstood by others. Secondly, pronounce either very capacious or very funny toasts, which will distract the audience a little from a bottle of some alcoholic liquid. For example:

A man comes to work. He is asked:

– What can you do?

- I can dig.

- What else?

- I can't dig.

Following this principle, anyone may or may not toast. And therefore for your health - in our throat!

What to say as a toast to health in order to look both original and sincere? Anything can be adapted for this purpose: the last song hit, a vigorous ditty, a majestic ode and an ordinary quatrain. For example:

Let's drink, drink a glass, grandfather!

Live another hundred years!

Let's drink, grandma, one more time,

We are not healthier!

Let's drink to the health of wives,

Every home will be happy!

We don't need the weak

Don't worry, darlings!

Come on, let's have a drink

For the health of husbands!

Be healthy, My love,

I will always be with you!

Let your heart hurt sometimes

But for me, dear!

For the fever of passionate love

I raise my glass now!

To always give you...

... Ranks, awards and medals.

So that you always stand ...

... A glass filled with wine!

Sick severely and incurably,

But not chickenpox and tonsillitis!

Of all the diseases, let one torment you -

The desire to drink a glass full to the bottom!

How many glasses and wine glasses

So many toasts!

For the health of gentlemen

Just pour!

However, so that your feast does not turn into a poetic evening and does not resemble a matinee in kindergarten, when well-dressed children vied with each other with memorized rhymes, try to diversify the program with some original philosophical discussions about the meaning of life, in this case, healthy.

Just imagine that at some solemn meeting on the occasion of, for example, the fiftieth anniversary of your deeply respected boss, it was your turn to raise a toast in honor of a high-ranking birthday man. You get up with a thoughtful and somewhat distant look, thoughtfully glide your eyes along the ceiling banquet hall and finally, with a slight, non-mocking smile of a man wise in life, you utter that then and there a certain Plato said: “There is no surer sign of the poor organization of cities than the abundance of lawyers and doctors in them.” After that, after a long pause, solemnly say: “So let's drink so that these representatives of noble professions have as little work as possible. For our health with you!

And here is another medical toast.

The great Plutarch said: "Medicine often makes us die more slowly and more painfully." So let's drink to the fact that as little as possible to seek the services of doctors. Cheers!

Confirmation of the thought of the ancient Greek thinker can be found in some anecdotes. For example in the following:

There is an operation. The surgeon is extremely focused and serious. Suddenly, in the deathly silence, a meow is heard. "Shoot!" - says the surgeon and continues the operation. After a while, the meow repeats again. "Shoot, I said!" Silence again. But a little later, the insistent “Meow!” "Yes, brute, choke!" - the angry doctor exclaims and throws a piece of entrails to the cat.

Let's drink to the fact that not a single creature interferes with the process of our treatment!

If you are not afraid to become the object of increased attention from the assembled motley audience and earn some nickname like “wise guy” or “philosopher”, you can safely raise another glass of wine, accompanying this sacred action with the following saying. This time, a certain Mill, who owns such an interesting and noteworthy idea: “Everything that contributes to the mixing of nationalities and the fusion of their talents and abilities into one common inseparable union is a great blessing for the human race.”

So let's drink to the prosperity of the human race. For our health!

After such a philosophical digression, it's time to move on to something really incendiary and fun. For example, to witty "arrangements" of well-known songs or slightly obscene rhymes. You can be sure that those who five minutes ago nodded their noses over a poured glass or snored peacefully with their heads bowed over a plate of salad will jump out of their seats and by all means want to compete with you in originality and wit.

folk wisdom says that they do not save on health. For the sake of it, you can sacrifice anything: salary, "stash" and even the last glass of vodka. Or, on the contrary, all together, including the wife, the apartment and the dacha, for her alone - forty degrees. Just like in a joke.

Autumn, cold and damp. A numb, tattered drunk enters the glass-room and, with a slurred tongue, asks for a drink for a hangover. The barmaid, pitying him, says:

You should at least buy some new shoes...

- Why do I need them, health is more expensive!

So let's drink to the most precious thing we have - to our health, because, as the great Shakespeare said, "health is more precious than gold."

Particular attention should be paid to nerve cells, which, as you know, are destroyed very quickly and practically do not recover. Therefore, we simply cannot do without the next toast.

The psychiatrist asks the patient:

- Have you ever experienced a strong nervous shock?

– Yes, doctor, once a computer was washed with alcohol right in front of my eyes.

So let's drink to the fact that we never happen to experience such severe stress!

But taking care only of your health, not paying any attention to those around you, is not only indecent, but also not reasonable, as evidenced by the ancient oriental wisdom that we inherited from the temperamental Caucasians. Having slightly altered it, we get an instructive toast:

Let's drink to my health!

I will be healthy - my wife will be healthy.

And if my wife is healthy, all the men of our village will be healthy.

All the men of our village will be healthy, which means that all women will be healthy too.

All women will be healthy - I will be healthy too.

So let's drink to my health!

After such toasts, you involuntarily come to the idea that everything in our life is somehow interconnected. We think everyone will agree that often our health has a strong influence on actions and behavior. This is not about open fractures that force you to sit for hours in the same place, while the soul rushes towards the lights of discos or a volleyball court. Here we mean those specific features of the organism of each of us, which determine the general well-being and behavior.

To illustrate this lengthy argument, let us recall the following anecdote.

One man says goodbye to another:

- My phone is simple - 32-08. It is easy to remember: thirty-two teeth and eight fingers.

Perhaps it is worth drinking for the fact that the presence of eight fingers is explained only by the inability to count to ten, and not by congenital physical defects!

Incidentally, different kinds ailments greatly affect the intimate life of people. An example of this is an old legend that has come down to us from antediluvian times. Here is how it was.

A few days after the creation of the world, God called Adam and said to him:

“The time has come for you and Eve to begin the process of repopulating the Earth. Go ahead and kiss her.

What is a "kiss"? Adam asks.

God explained to him. Adam grabbed Eve and dragged her into the bushes. After a few minutes, he comes out happy:

- Thank you, God. It was nice.

“Now,” God tells him, “go back and caress Eve.”

- And what is "caress"? Adam asks.

God explained to him, and Adam again dived into the bushes to Eve. After 15 minutes, the whole shining one crawls out:

- Thank you very much, God. It was even better than a kiss.

“Well, now,” God says to him again, “I want you to know Eve.

What is "know"? Adam asks again.

God explained to him, and Adam dived into the bushes for the third time. But in less than a few seconds, he gets out of there and asks:

“God, what is a headache?”

So let's drink to the fact that our beloved women never have a headache! And not only the head, but also the rest of the body.

We think that in order to raise a glass to the health of a mother or spouse, some unusual words are not required. It is enough just to listen to yourself and express everything that has accumulated in your heart. But the best way to do this is with the help of a song or a poem, you can make a joke:

I want, dear, that you be a fool -

That is, Kind, Smart and Joyful.

Never get sick and don't you dare walk gloomy.

And I will make your life sweet.

Let you become Winter today!

But not cold or snowy

And full of health and young,

Like the first spring snowdrop!

After that, the most appropriate would be a toast to the health of wives or loved ones, or even beloved wives. Let them family life will be as intoxicating as on the days of the honeymoon.

On this occasion, it is impossible not to recall an anecdote. A young husband says to his friend after the wedding:

My wife's honeymoon starts today.

“Only hers?”

But you know I'm diabetic.

Let's drink to the fact that among young spouses there are as few diabetics, sclerotics, neurotics and allergies as possible!

In general, it is worth drinking to the well-being of our precious life partners, about whom, by the way, one good anecdote is complicated.

A competition has been announced in a women's magazine. In the photo - taking off from the ground space rocket. What does it mean?

The answer was recognized as the best: “The satellite has departed. You can come."

So let's raise our glasses together for the health of our companions, especially for those who often "fly away" on long business trips!

Often, folk sayings are used as toasts, such as: "Healing is hard - it's easy in paradise." So why not drink to your health and create your own heaven on earth?!

What is needed for this? Of course, a good company, a couple of bottles of champagne or something stronger and, of course, a toast. You can, for example, like this:

Who doesn't smoke or drink

He will die healthy!

Let's drink to those who both smoke and drink, but live very long and have fun!

Do not forget about folk omens, many of which are simply an inexhaustible treasury for all kinds of toasts and table congratulations.

For example, everyone knows if you sneeze on Monday - for a gift, on Tuesday - for guests, on Wednesday - for news, on Thursday - for praise, on Friday - for a date, on Saturday - for fulfillment of a wish, and on Sunday - for fun. . Therefore, our next toast will be for gifts to be frequent and necessary, guests to be invited and welcome, news to be only good, praise to be constant, dates to be regular, wishes to be fulfilled. Well, fun not only on Sundays, but also on other days.

And yet one should not forget about moderation, for, as one of the aphorisms extracted from the writings of Baltasar Gracian says, “two things quickly finish a person: stupidity and debauchery. Some lost their lives because they did not know how to save it, others because they did not want to. Just as virtue is its own reward, so vice is its own punishment. Whoever hastens to live in vice perishes quickly in both senses. Those who live with dignity will never die. The health of the spirit prolongs the years.

So let's drink to a healthy mind in a healthy body, thanks to which each of us has the opportunity to become immortal. If not literally, then at least in the hearts of your friends and acquaintances. May they be healthy!

Gathered for festive table, do not forget to drink to the health of the highly respected and adored members of our government. And the best way to do this is with the help of such a toast-parable.

One king, who was distinguished by extreme cruelty and ferocity towards his subjects, once gathered all the courtiers, among whom were influential dignitaries, rich merchants, as well as his favorite jester, and asked:

“Am I not the most powerful and all-powerful ruler in the whole world?”

The courtiers obsequiously nodded their heads in agreement.

“Then tell me, is there anything I can do that the Lord God cannot do?”

Those present began to whisper, exchange glances and shrug their shoulders: how is that? Is it possible to do something that is beyond the power of the Almighty?

But then his favorite jester appeared before the tyrant and declared that there is nothing simpler than this.

- Truth? Prove it! - the surprised and intrigued king was delighted.

- Excuse me! As you know, the whole world was created by the Lord God, - began the jester. - In his eyes, everyone on earth is equal and everyone is destined to do their own thing: me, to joke, you, to rule. Therefore, God cannot expel anyone from his earthly possessions, and you, your majesty, can expel any objectionable subject from the country in no time. Which you have proven time and time again.

So let's drink to our good government in the person of the president dearly loved by all, since for several years now it has been tolerant of all subjects and has not expelled anyone from its earthly possessions. To the health of the government!

You can “treat” in the hospital, you can be with friends, or you can go to a sanatorium. Just don't forget to take a couple of bottles of good wine with you and stock up on a few toasts just in case. Would it come in handy?

Vacationers of one sanatorium argued into what categories modern holidaymakers can be divided. Before, everything was very clear with this, but now?

We decided to divide as follows: the first category - lions. They come with their mistresses, occupy separate comfortable rooms and are in close quarters. friendly relations with the health authorities.

The second category is wolves. They arrive at the resort angry and lonely. From loneliness, they almost begin to howl, and therefore are in constant search, if not for women, then for vodka. They get acquainted with the first and leave, and they do not part with the second until the very departure.

The third category is jackals. They pick up what the wolves threw, and they are satisfied with that.

The fourth category is donkeys. They always come with their wives and walk arm in arm with them with a smart look.

The fifth category is goats. They go to the library, read books and play dominoes.

The sixth category is alcoholics.

So let's drink for everyone to have what they want and be healthy! And also for a full, healthy rest!

By the way, some seriously ill people begin to feel much better when they find themselves in a casino or in some other place where they indulge in gambling.

Whose heart did not stop in anticipation of a possible smile of insidious fortune, when the striker of the football team on which the bet is made skillfully dribbles the ball to the opponent's goal ... But, let's better listen to the next anecdote.

The two women went to the hippodrome. We decided to bet on a horse. But how do you choose which one? And then it dawned on one of the ladies:

– Listen, what is your bra number?

- Third.

- And I have a fourth. Three plus four makes seven. Let's bet on the horse with this number.

Put. After the race, the announcer announces:

Horse number seven came first.

The women won a lot of money and, very pleased, told their husbands about it. The next day, the husbands went to the hippodrome, determined to take advantage of the "discovery" of their spouses.

“Listen,” one says, “how many times a night do you love your wife?”

- Four.

- Well, I'm five. Four plus five is nine.

They bet on horse number nine. After the finish, the announcer announces:

Horse number two came first.

So let's drink to healthy conceit and the ability to realistically assess your capabilities!

The famous German writer Goethe wrote:

The spirit of medicine is clear to everyone:

They only study it for that,

To let it all go

By the will of God and fate.

We think that all those present will agree to raise their glasses to ensure that everything goes on as usual. But at the same time, let each of those present be spared ailments, and if, nevertheless, it is not possible to avoid the disease, it is better that the sick person should definitely fall into the hands of a doctor who has not read this Goethe quatrain. And there are a lot of such, as follows from the following toast-jokes.

- Doctor, maybe I should go to the intensive care unit?

- Patient, do not self-medicate. I said to the morgue - that means to the morgue.

Let's drink to the methods traditional medicine, which leaves at least some hope for life, while the luminaries of science lower their hands with scalpels clamped in them!

But what are we all about the sad and the serious! It's time for a drink:

Be healthy, don't sneeze!

Pour and drink!

Not everyone knows how to drink properly. On this occasion, I would like to recall one Russian folk instructive tale.

The little boy lay on the ground and looked at the side of the tree. He said:

“Something is a crooked tree.

And the older brother answered him:

- No, it's straight, but you look crooked. As you look, so you see.

However, no matter how you look, the wine in our glasses will not decrease. Therefore, let's drink to the fact that until old age the eye remains faithful, the hand is firm, and the heart is hardy. To your health!

This is what an old parable tells about. Once Moses claimed that everything is from God, King Solomon said that everything is from the mind, Jesus Christ - everything is from the heart, Karl Marx - everything is from the stomach, Freud - everything is from sex. The great Einstein decided that everything is generally relative. No wonder they say that how many people, so many opinions. Therefore, it is up to you to decide what everything in your life will depend on. However, it seems to us that everything comes from good people, and especially from those who know how to gather guests and arrange such wonderful holidays. So let's drink to the health of the owners of this hospitable house!

Most of the toasts based on parables have been inherited from the Eastern sages. They treated with special trepidation not only their own health, but also the health of their dearest wives, whom, as you know, they could have a great many.

Here is an example of one of these toasts.

As you know, God created:

women of India - wise,

women of Africa - hardworking,

the women of Spain are passionate,

the women of France are sexy,

women of England - spicy,

German women - economic,

women of America - business.

And Russian women wiped their noses to all of them - they combine all these qualities, and besides, they are the most beautiful and healthy!

And here is another toast to the health of women from temperamental Caucasians.

At 20, a woman, like spring, is full of hope, blooms and smells sweet.

At 30, a woman, like summer, knows exactly what she wants from life, warm and rich.

At 40, a woman, like autumn, is “a berry again”, she reaps the worthy fruits of her life.

After 60, a woman, like winter, is cold and immersed in a long winter sleep.

So let's drink to the health of our lovely ladies! So that, regardless of age, they never plunge into hibernation!

It is with women, these lovely creatures, that most of the toasts are connected. Who, if not they, are able to brighten up the gray reality not only for their husbands, but also for other members of the opposite sex, for whom the main thing in this situation is not to get confused. And it is worth learning from the hero of the next toast.

Husband calls his wife at home:

- I'm staying at Masha's tonight.

- You're lying again! Probably, again at Nikolai Ivanovich's you will play preference until morning ?!

So let's drink to healthy family relationship based on trust and love!

Once we happened to visit one Caucasian feast, where the toastmaster said such interesting toast:

“I want to raise a glass of wine to my friend Givi. But not because he has one apartment in Tbilisi, and the other in Kutaisi, because we ourselves do not live under the open sky. And not even because he has one wife in Tbilisi and another in Kutaisi and a very, very good friend in Moscow. After all, we are not sinless. I want to drink to my friend Givi, because for 25 years he was the secretary of our party organization, being a non-partisan!”

Well, we want to propose a toast to our friend. But not because he has one apartment in Moscow and another in Paris. We ourselves have a mustache. And not because he has two cars. We don't walk ourselves. And not because he grabbed a huge plot for his fifth dacha. No, that's not why. We want to drink to our friend because he really a true friend! May he be happy and healthy with all his cars, cottages and apartments!

Incidentally, best wishes a true friend will have the following: let him be a ZUBR! That is, healthy, confident, vigorous and joyful!

Or a BUNNY - Healthy, Active and, of course, Playful, just like a real playboy bunny.

And most importantly - let them be guided by the following rules:

If you want to be happy one day - get drunk!

If you want to be happy for one month, get married!

If you want to be happy for one year, buy a car!

If you want to be happy for ten years, buy an apartment!

If you want to be happy all your life - be healthy!

So let's drink to the fact that we all be happy all our lives. Cheers!

If you want to be happy one day - drink wine!

If you want to be happy for one year, fall in love!

If you want to be happy all your life - drink every day ... yogurt obtained from the milk of a mad cow!

So let's drink, friends, for diet food! Let's be healthy and happy all our lives!

Let's drink to be:

Health is never enough!

Fun - it never gets in the way!

Good luck - it doesn't come often!

Joy is easier to live with!

And prosperity - it gives confidence!

All of the above is very lacking for those who, for some reason, ended up behind a high stone wall - in custody. Why not raise a glass to their health?

In prison, a new man is brought into the cell. The "old men" ask him:

– How did you get here?

- Yes, so ... for health reasons. All the runny nose is damned to blame!

- What is it like?

– Yes so! I went to work and sneezed at the wrong time, that's how I got ...

Let's drink to be healthy!

Three men are sitting in a prison cell, they ask each other:

What are you sitting for?

- Yes, for the stall. I broke it out of stupidity, and here I am sitting ...

- And what are you for?

- Yes, for one drunk. He walked down the street after pay, so I ...

- Well, what are you for?

- For providing the first medical care!

- Yes, somehow my mother-in-law began to perform, so I hit her on the nose ...

- To death?

- Don't ... To the blood! And then he decided to help, put a tourniquet on his throat!

So let's drink to the health of our beloved mothers-in-law, without whom it would be very boring for sons-in-law!

According to T. Carlyle, "a healthy person is the most precious work of nature." It must be carefully looked after and protected from various negative emotions. BUT the best remedy for this is, no doubt, a glass filled with wine, which we will now raise to the health of all those gathered, and especially the hosts and organizers of the celebration.

Sometimes our ailments are so frivolous that they simply cannot help but fall into a joke:

- Doctor, you know, when I sneeze, I don't hear it. Help me please!

- Here are the pills. Take 3 times a day.

Will I hear better?

- No, sneeze louder.

Let's drink to the fact that all our health problems can be solved as simply!

Speaking of hangovers. It poisons the life of civilians so much that it even became the reason for the appearance of poetic "masterpieces". Such as, for example, the following:

Little son came to his father

And the little one asked:

- What is good and what is bad?

If a boy from an early age

Reaching for the bottle

Here's one good piece of advice -

Give me the back of the head!

It's bad if the boys

They walk with adults.

Okay, at least nothing

Until they understand.

If you drank yesterday

Every drop of guests

That's in dad's head

Nails will strike.

Remember this every son

Know any child.

And leave in the morning

Learn from the cradle!

Dads listening to the story,

The little one thought:

"It's good to be healthy,

And with a hangover - bad!

Let's drink to the health of dads and their growing sons! And also, let none of us ever experience such a terrible hangover as the elk from the following joke.

Early in the morning, an elk walks through the forest from a terrible hangover. His head is splitting, everything is dry in the mouth ... Suddenly he sees a puddle of water, approaches it and begins to drink greedily.

At this moment, a hunter crawls out of the bushes. He sees the moose drinking water, bowing his head low ... he sees nothing. The hunter quickly loads the gun, takes aim with a doublet right at the elk's head ... The elk calmly continues to drink water ... The hunter is terribly surprised: “How is it? ..” He reloads the gun with the largest shot and shoots again. The moose continues to drink ... Then he slowly raises his head and thinks: “That's it ... I drink and drink, but there is no relief, I feel worse and worse ...”

Let's drink to us, no matter how much we drink, it gets better and better!

And who, if not the owner of the house, is able to help with this?

Someone wisely remarked that there are people who shine, there are people who warm. And there are those who both shine and warm. That is exactly what our dear host is!

Let's drink to his health! For his soul, in Russian broad, responsive and generous!

And in general, as one great sage said, the strength of the spirit is many times greater than the strength of the body; like a sword, it must always be kept ready in the scabbard of prudence. She is a shield of personality. Each of us should know that spiritual infirmity is much more harmful than bodily infirmity. Many people with remarkable abilities and virtues, but without courage, became like the dead and rested in their own cowardice. So let's raise our glasses so that the strength of our spirit is truly inexhaustible!

It is she who helps men to show miracles of patience and endurance. Just like in a joke.

In the compartment of the train sits a young interesting girl in a skimpy miniskirt. A man sitting opposite, addresses her:

- Girl, please cover your knees. And you will be warmer, and I will stop shivering.

Let's drink to the fact that only such a chill would pierce us!

Somehow our guests became sad and seemed to even get tipsy. Most The best way sober up, as you know, put pressure on the ears, which, figuratively speaking, the toastmaster will do, telling a short tale.

One king had three sons: two smart, and the third, of course, Ivan the Fool. The king was about to die, called his sons and said: “My dear, beloved ones! To the one of you who brings me living water and rejuvenating apples that will save me from all senile ailments, I will grant my kingdom and something else in addition! Two older brothers famously jumped on horses and went racing to get magical medicines. Ivan the Fool went to the store, bought a forty-degree bottle, opened a jar of pickled apples and regaled his father so much that he not only instantly recovered, but also decided to marry.

But that, as they say, is a completely different story. We will drink to the health of our beloved owner, who, with his simple snack, not only discouraged us from going to overseas restaurants, but also made us believe in the unlimited possibilities of human resourcefulness and ingenuity!

Agree, how not to sing here! Therefore - pour, sing!

Suddenly, as in a fairy tale, the door creaked,

Let's drink to health now!

How long have I been waiting for this meeting

What is so cool here, and did not know!

Glasses and forks,

Let's drink for a warm-up

To ease the heart

You need to pour a stack.

One ancient oriental parable says: once a kind astrologer-sorcerer came to the great Persian padishah, famous for his good deeds and rare nobility, and brought him three priceless gifts. He handed them to the padishah with the words:

– My first gift is health! May you be strong, powerful and not subject to all diseases. My second gift is oblivion. Oblivion of fears, sorrows, past troubles and failures. From now on, they will not burden your soul. And the third gift, O great padishah, is the gift of intuition, which, like a magic code, will be able to tell you the right decision in life.

So let's drink to the hero of the occasion, from the bottom of our hearts we wish him these three magical gifts: good health, which will allow him to receive crowds of guests until the end of his days, forgetfulness of sorrows and fears, thanks to which a wonderful smile will never leave his good-natured face, and, finally , intuition that allows you to go through life in a happy way!

Such a variety of toasts will surely convince anyone that almost everything can be adapted for this type of folk art, even the most hackneyed and hackneyed anecdote. And whether it will be entertaining and interesting depends on the ingenuity and ingenuity of the composer, and all that is required for this is to draw a proper conclusion.

Once an ensign reported to the company commander that that night Private Sidorov had passed away in the infirmary, and added angrily:

- This is a net, such a net! This is how you have to manage to get rid of the service!

So let's drink to the fact that we can always get rid of our own ailments without any problems!

Do not forget the saying of the ancient Greek scientist Democritus: “For all those who indulge in the pleasures of the stomach and pass the proper measure in food, in wine or in the pleasures of love, pleasures are short-term and fleeting, lasting only while they eat or drink; the suffering resulting from this intemperance are many and long.

Let's drink to the fact that all those sufferings, bodily and spiritual, which we have had to endure up to this time, are more than paid off by today's fun!

And what fun without a soulful song? You can, of course, limit yourself to the classic “So be healthy, live richly ...” or “I got drunk drunk.” However, it is best to exercise your imagination and come up with something like the following:

Something sadness-longing stuck, Let's drink, drink, and more than once,

Isn't it time for us to get down to business? As long as we have something to drink.

The arithmetic is simple - while we still live,

After the first, the second awaits. While we are still drinking.

To live a mile in the world, Fir-trees, dense forest,

Isn't it time for us on the third? Will be fined for downtime.

We'll grunt, we'll squeeze, we'll give in, so that there is no mistake,

We shudder, we gasp, we feel! Let's drink, brothers, a glass!

We all know from fairy tales that there was once a magical Phoenix bird in the world, which had the ability to burn in its nest, and then be reborn from the ashes again. How I would like to wish us all the same ability! No matter what troubles happen to us, no matter what diseases overtake us, we will always be reborn, like a fabulous Phoenix bird. Be healthy!

However, no matter how much we would like it, in the next few hundred years we will not be able to become immortal. And this means that you need to take care of your well-being with a vengeance. After all, health, according to Schopenhauer, "to such an extent outweighs all the other blessings of life, that a truly healthy beggar is happier than a sick king."

Our next toast is just about how to properly treat your health.

Did you hear what's going on? Even swimming in the sea has become life-threatening - the sanitary and epidemiological station has closed all the beaches on the coast!

- I even like it. Yesterday I swam: beauty, no one.

- Here, here ... And tomorrow you will not be either.

Let's drink for us to be! And not only tomorrow!

And in order not to worry about your health in vain and not to run with frightened eyes through the doctor's offices, use G. Thoreau's advice and "judge your health by how you rejoice in the morning and spring." As well as a filled glass. If the latter pleases you almost every day, you most likely need to seek help from a specialist who will help prevent the onset of alcohol addiction in time.

Honore de Balzac said: "When a person is ill for a long time, he becomes more knowledgeable than the doctor himself, and begins to understand his illness, which does not always happen even with conscientious doctors." So let's drink to understand our illness faster than an "unscrupulous" doctor does!

However, Jonathan Swift noted that "in addition to real diseases, we are subject to many imaginary diseases." Just like the hero of the next joke toast.

A student takes time off from a professor's lecture.

- Professor, I have a sore throat!

After the lecture, returning home, the professor sees that a student who has taken time off is walking with a charming blonde. The professor calls the student back and says:

- My friend, with such a sore throat you need to lie in bed!

So let's have a drink so that we always get sick like that!

One patient who had recently suffered a severe heart attack won a huge amount of money - one million francs - in the National Lottery. None of his relatives dare to tell him about this, fearing that such news will kill him.

“Let me tell him about it,” the attending physician said. “I myself have a heart trouble, and I know how to act in such cases. I will proceed carefully and slowly.

The doctor goes to the lucky patient and asks him:

What would you say if one day you won a thousand francs in the lottery?

“I would have arranged a party that would be remembered for a lifetime.

“And if you won ten thousand?”

I would invite all my friends to a luxurious restaurant.

- And if you won a hundred thousand?

“I would bring gifts for you and your wife that you never dreamed of.

“But what if you win a million?”

“Then, my friend, I will immediately give you half.

The Doctor fell to the floor, dead.

So let's drink to ensure that our heart does not fail at crucial moments, as well as a healthy sense of humor!

And one more anecdote from the "healthy" series. Having waited for the end of the examination of the sick husband, the wife rushes to the doctor and convulsively grabs him by the lapels of his dressing gown:

"Doctor, what's wrong with him?" This is serious?

- Don't worry so much. It's just that your husband needs complete rest: I prescribed a very effective tranquilizer.

- How can he take it?

- You will accept.

Why don't we drink to the fact that today, on such a significant day, our wives will receive for us and together with us?! And they will be healthier, and we will be calmer.

By the way, one well-known Swedish doctor believes that every person who consumes more than 1 liter of alcohol per month becomes a chronic alcoholic. For normal person the maximum dose is the "legitimate" 350 g of pure alcohol per month. To determine how far you are from the fatal line between drinkers and abusers, use the following data.

So, one three-hundred-gram bottle of light beer contains 9–10 g of pure alcohol. A large glass of white wine (125 g) - about 12 g of pure alcohol, a 20-gram glass of liquor - 5-10 g, a 20-gram glass of whiskey - 13-14 g. A liter of champagne - 50-80 g. A half-liter bottle of cognac - 170 g of pure alcohol. You can, of course, drink to ensure that your festive table always has a lot of wine, champagne, and beer. Just don't forget about your own health.

Although the question of whether alcohol is harmful to health, whether it poisons the body, like a terrible poison, is still open. Such a case is known from medical practice: a young general practitioner, seeing his patient on one of his daily rounds with a cup of black coffee in his hand, exclaimed indignantly: “Don’t you know that coffee is a deadly poison!” To which he calmly replied: “Maybe it hasn’t worked on me for seventy years.”

A lot has been said about the dangers of alcohol, without which, however, not a single more or less decent feast can do. There are even jokes about this. For example, there were two friends. One drank, the other didn't. The one who drank got drunk one day, got behind the wheel of a car and crushed to death the one who did not drink.

The moral is: drink, you die; don't drink, you die.

So let's drink to ensure that, watching our health, we do not deprive ourselves of small joys.

Moreover, many ordinary citizens of our country do not consider alcoholism a serious disease. This is what our next toast is about.

Two old acquaintances meet, and one asks the other:

- Masha, how is your husband Misha?

- As he drank, so he drinks, as he beat, so he beats.

- Well, thank God, if only I didn’t get sick!

So let's drink to the health of all those present, both drinkers and non-drinkers!

One doctor said to a seriously ill man:

“You must not eat fish or meat, sweet or fatty.

To which the patient replied:

- If I had eaten all this at one time as much as I wanted, I would not be sick now.

This toast is for always drinking, eating, and still wanting!

So that your feast does not resemble a meeting of the White Parrot Club, forget about jokes for a while and use other "means" to create celebratory toasts for health. For example, raising another glass of wine, say with an expression:

Grandfathers lived in the old days

Have fun with your grandchildren:

As simple, they drank water,

Honey and strong wine.

In the meantime, you can explain to the audience: this quote was removed by you from the work of the 19th century poet M.N. Zagoskin, and its meaning lies in the fact that everyone should tighten up and follow the example of their valiant ancestors who drank and did not get drunk. And since it is no longer necessary to drink for the health of these great-great-grandfathers, it is worth raising a glass for the well-being of those present, who have so zealously taken up the noble cause of continuing traditions.

It is known that among the people vodka is considered a cure for a hundred ailments. The only pity is that the great ancient Greek physician Hippocrates did not know about this. For in that case it would never have occurred to him to say the following:

“What drugs do not cure, iron cures. And what iron does not cure, fire cures. And what fire does not cure should be considered incurable.”

Let's all raise a glass together for what we, civilized people know, and what the naive Hippocrates did not even guess about. After all, no, even the most serious illness can resist the invigorating degrees of some home-made liquor, not to mention domestic vodka.

And in general, health, no matter what it is supported by: diets, the right daily routine or regular drinking, is the basis of all foundations, the beginning of all beginnings. How can one not recall the words of a well-known song from kindergarten pots:

Where does the Motherland begin?

From the bottle on our table

With good and faithful comrades,

Those who came to the holiday to me.

Or maybe it starts

From the song that our mother sang to us?

And never ends

As long as there is something to drink and something to eat.

It is one thing to drink to health, and another thing to be treated for some disease. That's when you start cursing youth with its short coats in a thirty-degree frost and swimming in April. Therefore, from an early age, one should be guided by the remark of Horace: "If you do not run while you are healthy, you will have to run when you get sick."

In addition, the statement of D.I. Pisareva: “All the efforts of a prudent person should be directed not to repairing and caulking his body, like a fragile and holey boat, but to arranging for himself such a lifestyle in which the body would come into an upset position as little as possible, but therefore, as little as possible needed to be repaired.

So let's raise our filled glasses to get up for repairs as little as possible, but to undergo prophylaxis as often as possible in the circle of our closest friends!

There is such a thing as social energy. Scientists suggest that the Mongols during the time of the Tatar-Mongol yoke applied something like this to Russian warriors. But the Russian knights at some point intuitively felt how to deal with psychotropic pressure. They came to the field of future battle and walked one after another in a round dance, in a circle. Why - they did not know, but they believed that this was how it should be done.

And now we are sitting in a circle of friends at the table, and this circle of friends is also reliable protection. So let's wish the dear prince that he gathers our circle of friends more often, thereby protecting himself and us from invisible ill-wishers. Be healthy, prince-master!

But what are we all about hosts? It's time to remember the guests. How many proverbs and sayings were invented in honor of this motley tribe. Here are just a few of them: “A guest is first like gold, then silver, then iron”, “When a guest arrives, he becomes a master, when he sits down - a prisoner, when he leaves - a poet”, “A guest without an invitation will not wait for a treat”, “ The host’s guest is like a donkey: wherever they want to tie him, he must agree”, “The guest is more humble than a sheep”, “If the guest spends the night once, this is happiness, if the second is trouble”, etc.

By the way, how many peoples, so many opinions. For example, the Armenians say: “Cursed be the house where there are no guests, and let that guest die who, having arrived in the evening, will not leave in the morning.” Perhaps it is worth drinking to the health of our host, whose hospitality has no limits, because for the third day we have been gathering at the same table, and his face still shines with a smile, and his generous hand still pours glasses full!

An ancient Arabic proverb says: "Come to your enemy hungry, but do not go naked." Indeed, after all, hunger can still be hidden somehow, but nudity is unlikely. However, this does not apply to those gathered at our holiday. Both guests and hosts are an example of friendly disposition and attention. So let's drink to their good health for years to come!

With whom, if not with guests, you can have a great time not only at the festive table, but also at a game of dominoes, even if it happens in the next world, as in the following joke.

So, in the other world, three decided to "kill the goat." They started looking for a fourth. Finally, they met some unfamiliar man who agreed to play with them. Hardly had the bones been dismantled when the stranger disappeared. They had to divide the bones into three. Just started playing, the man appeared again. They mixed the bones, divided them into four. But then he suddenly disappears again. And so several times.

“Listen,” the players got angry, “I sat down to play, so play, and don’t disappear every now and then!”

Guys, it's not my fault. These resuscitators have already tortured!

So let's drink to certainty this time. We will either get sick or not get sick, live or not live, drink or ... Although there can be no “or” here! Let's drink!

We already drank to the health of the hosts and guests. It's time to think about the neighbors. Oh, no celebration is complete without these people! However, it is not necessary to invite them. After all, some curious Aunt Manya will definitely come to see what it smells so delicious in you, and the nervous Vasily Timofeevich, as soon as it gets dark, will start banging his shoe on the wall in protest against too loud music or deafening explosions of laughter. In a word, for the health of neighbors!

One Arabian sheikh was presented with a horse of stunning beauty. He gathered all his advisers and addressed them:

“Where do you think this miracle horse will come in handy for me?”

- At war with the enemies of our state, - said the head of the guard.

“No,” the mighty lord shook his head thoughtfully.

“For the horse races,” the vizier tried to guess.

"No," the Sheikh said curtly.

“But what for?” The courtiers looked at each other in bewilderment.

- This wonderful horse will be useful to me in the event that I have a bad neighbor so that I can gallop away from him as far as possible.

No wonder people say: do not buy a house, but buy a neighbor. So let's drink to the health of our good neighbors, from whom we will never have to run away!

And finally, not a single congratulatory toast can do without referring to the stars, or rather, to the horoscope. Therefore, we offer several astrological toasts to health.

Let's drink to

Aries don't get sick

And overnight

Do not become sheep!

So that strong Taurus

Never mope

Need a glass

Pour for health!

To be healthy

Like pigeons

you for three

Drink up, Gemini!

Cancer - at every feast

The guest is always dear.

Without it, the taste of beer loses

In the steam room.

So let's have a drink

For Rakov, friends!

You hurt, dear,

Absolutely impossible!

This glass is not for Leo!

Fill your glass!

Be healthy, our Levushka!

No pain, little head!

You can be a Virgo

Anywhere and how much

But tonight we drink

With men only!

No appetizer, with one toast

For health

Let's just grunt!

Libra today has no time to guess:

Pour yourself or don't pour.

Let's not be too wise for too long,

We decided together - to drink for health!

You me today, dear Scorpio,

You won’t scare away with your formidable appearance!

I'm ready to drink even moonshine

If you pour it with your hand!

Sagittarius:

How you shoot is how you drink!

You'll live another two hundred years!

Oh, apparently, the toastmaster needs help:

We can't force Capricorn to drink!

Let's drink to him, let him ride

Be healthy, our smart "boy"!

Aquarius is in the house today

Chief guest and toastmaster!

From the jug it will be

Pouring vodka is not water.

Vodkoley, Vodkoley,

Be healthy, don't get sick!

No matter what kind of fish you are,

No wonder I came here today.

There is little space, but a lot of vodka!

And the only thing missing was you, herring!

For such toasts as above, the owner of the house or the hero of the occasion is simply obliged to make a response speech. It can be some kind of childhood memory with a lot of interesting details.

For example:

Since we all had to part with scoops and pails, a lot has changed. Seryozha, who is always whimpering, delivers surprisingly beautiful and clever speeches, while until the tenth grade he could not connect almost two words. My best friend Sveta, who generously sprinkled sand on my head and selected dolls, assures me of unearthly love and eternal devotion. Yes, years go by and people change. But I want to believe that the relations that have been established since the nursery pot will never be reborn between us. I drink to your health, my dear and beloved friends!

And also as return toast for health, you can say the following:

I once decided to investigate the plastic and elastic properties of life. First of all, I tried to establish a relationship with her, reminiscent of a boxing match: first I beat, then she. But more often, of course, she is. And all I had to do was rub the bruised places, lick the wounds and insert my teeth.

Soon I got tired of all this, and I decided to smile at the world. And what do you think? He began to smile at me. With a beaming smile on my face, I gave people my love, tried not to hurt anyone, and at the same time pressed the world with all my might. And he gave in to me.

And then I realized that a fist meets a fist, a smile meets a smile, and that the world has the greatest pliability in relation to a smile and love. This discovery inspired me, and I propose a toast to the smiles and love of all for all. Thank you for your congratulations and kind words. I drink to your health!

Very meaningful and instructive toasts to health, which are pronounced by the doctors themselves. Who, if not them, should know about what worries every person. Most often, of course, these are three issues: dandruff, tooth decay and diarrhea. How to deal with them, we already know thanks to everyone's favorite advertising. As for other diseases, it is best not to remember them at the festive table. However, you can still listen to the toast of a health specialist.

– For several years now I have been practicing in a local hospital as a general practitioner. And never met at all healthy person. The thing is, in my opinion, that the current generation lacks such a vital component of existential existence as vitamins. What do you, the inhabitants, who are alien to the understanding of health as the greatest gift of heaven, understand in acidophilus, coenzyme and riboflavin? The hidden meaning of these beautifully sounding words is accessible only to a poet in a doctor's coat. And I will not throw beads in front of pigs, but I will only say one thing: despite the fact that you do not understand anything about vitamins, you are very well versed in vodka. So let's drink the health of true connoisseurs of beauty!

And since for a long time only men were considered as such, the next toast will be for their precious health. Let them in their lives only once happen to lie in the hospital: during childbirth. "What's wrong with men?" you say. But they, too, were once born. So be healthy!

One Eastern sage was asked what disease is the most terrible on earth. And he answered: "Blindness!" And many of us would certainly agree with that. Especially me. And here's the reason.

A friend of mine has recently been appointed to a high post. I, as a faithful comrade who knew him as a seven-year-old boy, went to congratulate him. But my friend, from a sociable and cheerful fellow in an instant turned into a stupid and impudent official, rudely asked me:

- Who are you? I don't know you at all!

You have no idea how painfully his cruel words resounded in my heart. But I, however, did not give a look and was able to answer him:

"Don't you recognize me?" I am your old and faithful friend. And I came to visit you because I heard that you were completely blind. I was convinced that the people who told me this were not mistaken - you are a sighted blind man.

My toast is to ensure that our friends do not lose their sight when receiving prestigious positions and other earthly blessings! For spiritual and moral health!

Poets and romantics consider love to be the worst disease on earth. This, of course, is not about the consequences of this feeling, which sometimes send us life, but about the harm that sizzling passion brings to the nervous system.

The famous La Rochefoucauld wrote: “There are different cures for love, but there is not a single reliable one.”

So let's drink to the terminally ill with this beautiful disease!

However, why didn't we drink to the health of respected doctors? Somehow it turns out badly: they treat us with all their might, they try to teach us moderation and the right attitude towards the body, and we ... And we will sing to them:

Eternal feat - he is on your shoulder,

Your hands are sleepless and holy.

I want to bow low to you

Men in white coats,

People in white coats ... (four more times).

I want to bow low to you!

And one more toast on this occasion. One man was taken to be buried in the cemetery and was accidentally lost along the way. A drunken tractor driver accidentally ran him over. Frightened, he threw the corpse into the lake. The poachers who were killing the fish saw the floating body and tied it to a border post.

The border guards, noticing the body and mistaking it for an intruder, flashed it several times with a burst from a machine gun. Then, coming closer, they realized their mistake and took the “victim” to the hospital.

The doctor, leaving the operating room two hours later, wearily wiping his forehead with his hand and waving to the side, says: “He will live ...”

So let's drink to a happy ending to this story and to our valiant doctors who are able to bring a person back from the other world!

It looks like dawn is just around the corner. Soon it will be necessary to remove the dishes from the table, wash them and do other post-holiday “pleasant” chores. Well, why not charge! It is very useful, and besides, there is time to think about whether it is worth continuing to strengthen your body with the help of alcoholic beverages or stop there. Although the answer in this case is unambiguous and clear to everyone: moderation is one thing, and a healthy lifestyle (fun friends, rich meals, etc.) is another.

Each of us has our own concept of health. Some prefer to jog around the house, drink kefir and go to the theater, while others are supporters of a more active lifestyle, about which enough has been said above.

Someone joked, saying the following: "Take everything from life, but just in case, remember where you took it." I will remember this house where I was so interested among talented and cheerful people!

For you and for the health of dear owners!

If you really enjoyed your visit, why not forget some little thing there, for which you could come back the next evening, after making sure that there were several bottles of beer in the grocery bag. And what to do next, you already know. To your health!