Are relationships perfect. Ideal relationships: what are they and how to build them? Even in sweatpants and a crumpled T-shirt next to him, you always feel one hundred percent

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The topic of relations between men and women is discussed everywhere. Rarely can anyone say with confidence that his marriage is perfect. But are ideal between a man and a woman possible at all or is it a figment of the imagination of the directors of cult melodramas?

Each person, deciding to start a family, hopes for cloudless happiness and harmony. Subconsciously, people understand that it is possible to realize oneself in life only in tandem with a loving and beloved person. However, in reality it is not so at all, and by staking at stake a lot, people rarely get what they expected from marriage.

What hinders an ideal relationship?

Women are sensitive and impressionable natures. It’s for them a lot of films with a predictable happy ending are being shot. After watching movies, where intricate stories and twists of fate will certainly end with a wedding and mutual love, women secretly dream of the very ideal relationships that they saw on large screens. But are they really possible?

Possible, but each has its own definition of ideal. What seems like the ultimate dream for a woman is not necessarily desirable for a man. In addition to gender differences in the perception of the situation, there are also personal preferences of a single person. Therefore, a clear algorithm of actions to create ideal relationships is impossible to deduce.

Speaking of, a woman implies that a man indulges her whims, wears in her arms, respects and protects. For a man care is important, personal freedom without restrictions and imposition of desires. The female vision of relationships is absurd for a man.

However, the fact that men and women think differently does not mean that a harmonious life together is not possible a priori. Relations begin to suit two not immediately. This is only possible after working together. Sometimes it takes years to build harmonious relationships.

Analyze what difficulties stand in the way of creating relationships that will suit both men and women in everything? The first and probably the most common is the selfish desire to satisfy one’s own needs without giving anything in return. One person begins to position himself as the "center of the universe", and the other is obliged to fulfill all the whims. But nothing happens in the “one gate”, and normal relations fail.

Such relations are also far from ideal when one of the partners lives the life of another, dissolves in it. But there is no such return from the second person. The result is that one partner is subordinate to the thoughts, desires and needs of another. It is unlikely that people imagine happiness in their personal lives as such.

Is there a perfect relationship formula?

German researchers claim that they know the formula for a happy relationship. In their opinion, for the relationship to be harmonious, it is necessary to compensate for every critical statement or dissatisfaction. A compliment is cement for happiness in relationships and love.

The researchers also cite the main problems that can destroy a happy relationship in the bud. This is loss of income, adultery, depression, and disease. A series of such events and partner states can lead to a pair decay.

The image of the desired partner is formed in people from childhood. In children, we observe adult relationships and draw conclusions. They have different colors: positive - “I want my wife to take care like a mom,” or the opposite - “my dad is in relation to my mom, I want a soft and sincere man.” In addition to these preferences, an image is also formed from one’s own experience as one grows up and enters into relationships with the opposite sex, which ended in failure. If people suit each other based on the formed image of a partner in their head, such relationships are more likely to become happy and harmonious.

The problem is that over time, relationships develop, and people and their needs change. Even finding the perfect partner, the initial relationship with him is not eternal. You need to be on the alert, carefully treats the changes in the pair and work on relationships. Important and the ability to negotiate with a partner. This science needs to be mastered, because your half is not a mother, and you are not a child, and you won’t be able to guess what is in your head. And many behave as in childhood, relying on the fact that the partner himself will guess what the other needs.

Despite all of the above, inexplicable things happen in the relationship between a man and a woman. This is not amenable to logic and science, but people who are absolutely unsuitable for each other live together for decades and are happy.

Principles of Perfect Relationships

In search of an ideal relationship is a huge number of people. This is not surprising, because love is an important facet of a fulfilling life, regardless of age and gender. The desire for happiness is natural.

Relations between women and men are a stream of contradictions. Partners repel and attract each other. This feeling is familiar to many - when a loved one is at the same time the closest in the world, and brings the bulk of grief.

How to build a happy and harmonious relationship? Psychologists have come up with five principles that will create the key to love and happiness in a pair.

Complement each other. Partners will be happy if they complement each other's negative traits. An important condition is that the supplement must be timely and unobtrusive. Failure to comply with this rule will result in the reputation of the partner being undermined. Suppose, for an active and impressionable girl, a calm and balanced guy who can think logically in emotional situations is suitable.
Similarity. The first paragraph speaks of the opposite, but unifying qualities are needed no less. However, the question of the similarity of character needs to be careful. If both partners are emotional, a happy relationship will not work. Disagreement will lead to an explosion. Partners will not be able to agree, because everyone will "add fuel to the fire."

Understanding. The psychology of men and women is so different that we sometimes do not understand each other's actions. However, to understand the human desires of a partner, it is not at all necessary to have a degree in psychoanalysis. It is enough to put yourself in the place of a partner and analyze. Society imposes stereotypical thinking on us, and under the rule of “herd feelings”, men say that they do not understand women, and ladies say that men were abandoned to us from another planet. In reality, psychology, as a science, is not divided by gender. For mutual understanding in a relationship, it is enough to drop stereotypes and treat a partner humanly.
Own world. The couple will protect themselves from breaking provided they create their own small world. Partners let each other into their lives and, on the basis of trust, create their own space for two. Traditions, general plans, circle of friends, secrets, known only to both of you - the key to a happy relationship.
Honesty and sincerity. Happy couples are honest with each other. They are thoughts, feelings and desires. Lies, even petty ones, lead to the collapse of trust, and without years they will not live. Often we hear the phrase: "he / she does not understand me." This is because partners hide from each other the actual state of things. It is unlikely that any of the partners has telepathic abilities, well, where does understanding come from if there is no sincerity and frankness in communication?

Only five principles create a relationship between a man and a woman, close to the ideal. People are the creators of their own happiness. No one except ourselves will create strong, lasting, sincere and harmonious relationships. Believe in the possibility of creating an ideal relationship and work on your own happy future!

March 14, 2014, 11:06

What is an ideal relationship? Do they really exist? Or is it just fiction? Every girl from childhood builds her illusory world, inhabits it with heroes, creates the image of a magic prince. As adults, girls do not forget about their tales. They only bring new colors to them and adjust the portrait of a model lover.

However, you should be aware that men and women are radically different worlds. Their views on gender relations are also different, because the worldview itself is dissimilar. There are no templates in pairs. Each of them is special.. That is why all people are trying, through numerous trials, experiments, endless mistakes, to find the answer to the question of whether the relationship is ideal.

As a rule, women more often than the male part of society think about the problem of ideal relationships. That is why it is they who strive not only to understand their soul mate, but also to derive the formula of happy joint days.

Is it possible to achieve an ideal relationship?

The ideal relationship between a guy and a girl today is often presented as abstract. In fact they can be achieved if:

draw a clear line between your own needs and the desires of your partner;
to build a balance between “give” and “take”;
abandon prohibitions, restrictions, blackmail.

As for the requirements, it is advisable to completely abandon them. After all, a truly loving man already sees what his other half needs.

It is also worth considering that love is not something ephemeral, airy, marshmallow-sweet. This is a real titanic work.. Moreover, work on relationships should be constant, regular, daily.

First of all, you need to start with yourself. It is useful for girls to know that any man would not want to see an extremely simple lady around him. Being conquerors and discoverers by nature, men expect secrets and mysteries. At the same time, it is worth noting that it is not worth it to be too smart. This guys also do not like.

Talking about ideal relationships, it is worth making a reservation about their basis. Only with the utmost trust can truly strong feelings be built and the foundation laid for the future family. What indicates trust in each other? This is a combination of:

lack of secret meanings in words and deeds;
free time for personal affairs and communication;
inadmissibility of checking correspondence in social networks, by email, phone calls;
mutual respect.

It is on the mutual acceptance of each other's interests that the strongest ties between opposite sexes are often built.

It is not worth naive to believe that love is a common interest, the same view of cinema, sports, art, philosophy. We all are not alike. And this is precisely the beauty of building relationships. Let each half of the couple have their own interests and hobbies. It is unlikely that the girl would like it if her young man watched her hair, eyelashes or nails. This is a kind of sacrament in which exclusively ladies are dedicated. Exactly the same ritual for men is going to a bar with friends, a party in billiards, bowling, poker. Each hobby should have its own personal, inviolable space.

Of course, there should be common ground. But it is worth remembering: opposites are attracted.

Perfect marriage: does it happen?

How to build the ideal relationship between husband and wife? This is what many couples think about, but after the marriage is registered. In fact, life somewhat erases the fleur of mystery and attractiveness from a loved one. In order not to turn a cozy family haven into a permanent battlefield, you just need:

to be attentive to each other;
touch and give kisses more often;
to talk without concealing a problem;
avoid scandals, especially public ones;
to be close not only physically, but also spiritually;
always leave the opportunity for change in the first place of oneself.

A woman should be a little wiser than her soulmate. It is in her power to demonstrate to her husband that he is just the leader, the first violin, and the conductor of the family orchestra. The lady has a different role. She is the neck that leads the head. At the same time, you should not turn into the shadow of your husband. A woman should have her own face. This is her appeal and domestic trick.

In fact, you can create the perfect relationship. Harmony and balance - this is not a secret behind seven seals. However, this must be done together. The one-goal game has not made anyone happy. Creating exemplary relationships alone is unrealistic. This is against all moral principles and physical laws. We must try to give joy to each other.

To be honest, I can’t build relationships. There’s more than enough theoretical knowledge, but in practice it’s nonsense. As soon as a good man appears in my life, it turns out that without him I am without arms. And it is necessary that I be without him as without arugula. And he is better, and me.

I love arugula. To such an extent that she was seriously planning to grow it on the balcony, and everyone knows that in my house nothing but a child grows. Arugula suits me in everything: it is green, crispy, low-calorie, and there are discounts on it in our supermarket. But if the arugula does not call me in the evening, I will not cry, get angry and feel abandoned.

If today the arugula is not in the store near my house, I will buy something else. For example, watercress, iceberg, or even parsley (and sausage).

Now raise the arugula to those who manage to calmly go about their business when their beloved man does not call. What are there? Indeed? He, therefore, does not call, and you read the book. Or meet friends in a cozy cafe. Or vacuum at ease.

And how is the book? Can you retell the plot? And what did you talk about with the girls all evening - or is it better to ask about whom? And by the way, how many times during the cleaning time did you turn off the vacuum cleaner, because it seemed to you that the phone seemed to vibrate?

When a man is needed, for some reason he is needed 24 hours a day. And we hold on to him as if we are racing on a motorcycle along a busy highway and are afraid to fall under the truck.

One good man, leaving on a business trip for three whole days and wiping my tears, jokingly asked:

Do you want to fasten me to your skirt forever?

I thought and honestly replied that in fact I would not mind. He laughed, then it still seemed funny to him.

In vain I am so. You can’t build any relationship by fastening someone to a skirt (especially if you mostly go in jeans).

A good man should be treated like arugula or any other favorite salad. Both arugula and man were created in order to give us joy, and not endless throwing and sad thoughts. And the beauty is that in addition to arugula and men in life exist - must, in any case, exist - and other joys.

I realized this one evening and immediately became happier. For an hour. Then one good man forgot to send me sms "Good night!", And happiness was instantly blown away. Because my theory does not work in real life, with real people who love someone. It's a pity.

TEXT: Antonina Kozlova

In order for her personal life to be successful, and the woman to feel happy and beautiful, her relationship must be ideal. But is it possible? After all, it is very difficult to meet your ideal, especially since sometimes the requirements for it are really unnecessarily overstated and impossible. But to endure, if only not to be left alone, when personal life turned into a nightmare, is also unreasonable. Therefore, it is so important to know what kind of relationship can be called ideal in order to understand what to strive for and what to do in order to create exactly the same.

What an ideal relationship should be

First of all, it should be easy and pleasant. Without any reservations, exceptions, assumptions, explanations or searches, why something doesn’t suit you, it doesn’t go as you would like and even more so as you dreamed. If there is a feeling of loneliness, longing, fear, self-doubt, loss and fatigue next to a person after the beginning of a relationship, then there is a problem: either the woman does not know how to be happy and she needs to understand herself, or even turn to a psychologist, or this person not suitable.

The fact is that when people are in love, they experience euphoria, they are happy with everything, they like everything, make them happy and cause bliss. Those around can, on the contrary, fall into a stupor from the behavior or words of this person, and a woman in love will not notice anything. Whoever said that to her, she would either not understand, or would not believe, or would find it sweet and funny. When there is no love in the heart, discomfort will always arise, expressed in the form of a wide variety of unpleasant feelings, albeit for no apparent reason. And this indicates that the choice was made incorrectly.

It may be connected with internal problems, but it still means only one thing, until a woman deals with them, and the best men will be, to put it mildly, not the same.

So the first sign of an ideal relationship is love and lightness in them. They should bring joy, not suffering and pain, but happiness and pleasure. Due to the uniqueness of each, various misunderstandings may arise, but they do not turn into a prolonged flurry of suffering, clarification of relationships and quarrels. This is just an occasion to get to know each other better, learn to hear, talk about what you like, dislike and would like to calmly deal with disturbing situations, no matter how frightening they are, not to get personal, and talk more about those feelings that arise just for you.

Because only in this way will a person hear what they are told and will want to help, do something pleasant or protect, and will not be forced to defend himself against a flurry of claims and insults in his direction because of the strong instinct of self-preservation. Indeed, this usually happens when we begin to curse and go not to our inner emotions, voicing them, but evaluating the other in the most unpleasant terms. Otherwise, where would there be so many partings, problems with personal life and divorces, especially since this reason is supplemented by a host of others.

There is no place in the ideal relationship and jealousy that those who are dissatisfied with themselves, unsure of, suffer from low self-esteem, or are neurotic. Such people are not capable of creating. Not because there is nothing to love them or they are so unlucky. No, just like them they are loved, like others, but because of their bad attitude towards themselves, this all ends in tragedy, destroyed nerves, even more destroyed self-esteem and the growth of confidence that they do not deserve love. Although they often think that just all men are very bad people, and the real ones are gone.

They do not think that sometimes they themselves make completely unreasonable demands on the stronger sex, and they are also used to the fact that love must be earned.

That's all pulling on themselves, just to please and receive gratitude. And she is not, because he believes that since she does this, then she likes it. Yes, and the lazy themselves, or do not want to do what is expected of them in return, and here the theory of women's responsibilities comes to the rescue, although many women have worked no less than men for a long time. So it turns out a vicious circle, not an ideal relationship.

Women would first engage in their self-esteem, bring it into a normal state, love themselves, learn to value, cherish and respect, regardless of how old they are, and then engage in personal life. But few are ready and brave enough to admit to themselves some internal problems that need to be addressed.

Instead, they dream of a “prince on a white horse” who will burst into their lives and give them this missing love and self-confidence. They just don’t think that he might well break in, though his strong love will not be able to solve her internal problems. This is exclusively within her power. Denying this, and dismissing them, they only run the risk of being in a situation where the real prince cannot stand the mass of claims to himself, suspicion, the desire to be with him all the time and completely immersed in his interests, instead of his own. This also cannot be in ideal relations.

Qualities of an ideal relationship

In order for personal life to succeed, in addition to mutual love, it is necessary to be able to express your emotions and thoughts without affecting another. Do not be shy to talk about your feelings and desires, do not assume that it is bad or embarrassing, or can be used against you. It is necessary to learn to trust a loved one, not forgetting to protect his soul. It depends on how harmonious your relationship will be.
Reluctance and inability to hear the other, fear of speaking out about one’s own needs, doom to unnecessary quarrels arising from misunderstanding and clashes, because both do not know which borders can be crossed and which are not.

Attempts to find a compromise should not be perceived as weakness, but it is nevertheless desirable that they be as rare as possible. It is better to find a solution to controversial issues that can take into account the interests of one and the other. For example, you want to go to the theater, and your favorite one to watch a football match. So, you go to the theater with a girlfriend or alone, and let him watch the match. If he does not want to go and at the same time does not let you go, there is a clear disregard for your interests. There are two ways to do this: you explain that his distrust and jealousy are unpleasant for you, therefore, if he wants to make you happy and not hurt you, either let him go or go with you. And the second option is to either go, regardless of what he says and then decide how to proceed. To accept this and not to feel any more discomfort, or to part with a man who is so inattentive, cowardly and suffers from problems with low self-esteem. In ideal relationships, such a controversial moment is decided to mutual pleasure.
You can’t tell men about everything. There are topics that can hurt and break the idyll, since everyone has their own strength. Therefore, no talk about the former, his parents and children from his last marriage in a negative way, attempts to get him to do what he does not like, but as you think, can bring a lot of money.

Harmonious relationships are created by self-confident people who love themselves regardless of whether they have someone or not. They value their time, their own interests, their life, show respect for the life of a partner, his views and desires. They do not need to “strangle” their loved one so as not to feel fear of losing him.
They are not jealous, do not check the phone. If something happens, they know what they will do. They do not distrust their loved ones, they are self-confident and do not like to humiliate others, as well as to hurt.
In order to build an ideal relationship, it is important for the fair sex to understand that a man is in no way able to replace them with a mother who loves them unconditionally, regrets, supports them not to do, fulfills any of their whims and constantly says how beautiful she is.

No matter how they convince us that ideal men do not exist, do not rush to agree with this. For personal life to bring joy, relationships must be perfect. In another way, to become happy in love simply will not work. The pursuit of ideal is embedded within us and, therefore, most women know which man they want to see next to them, and what kind of relationship is ideal for them. And an attempt to try to build a relationship with someone who is not like him makes both of them unhappy. It is better to reconsider your requirements before looking for a man, but not compromise with your desires. It certainly will not lead to anything good.

Useful Tips

Relationships with partners are volatile and often difficult to evaluate. Sometimes we just stay alone for too long to realize that your new partner is far from perfect.

Often we get so used to being unhappy with a person that we forget what real happiness looks like. Or just starting to think that we do not deserve something more or someone better.

But, if we made the right choice, then everything looks completely different. The sun shines brighter, we smile more often and wider, and even the usual everyday routine can be fun.

That is why it is useful to know the signs of an ideal relationship, how useful it is to be able to set and decide tasks to improve your relationship with a partner. So, 15 obvious signs that you have made the right choice.

15 signs of compatibility between men and women

You spend time together doing things that both of you enjoy

It’s wonderful when he does what she loves. It’s wonderful when she does what he loves. But what is just great is to find what both of you like and do it together.

According to statistics, couples need about four years to decide on those things and deeds, which attract both partners. And this is, of course, not about love games, although this, too, cannot be discounted.

We can assume that your relationship with a partner was a success if you are united by any other things: say, you are doing the same job, or you have a common business; both of you love mountain climbing, or cycling; or you just both love paintball (yes, and this hobby is not alien to girls!).

You spend time doing things that are fun for each of you

The ability to find pleasure in doing one thing together is very good. But if you made the right choice for a partner, then he must be aware and accept the fact that there are things, which you want to do alone.

Perhaps you love video games, and your partner has his own video blog; you like to work in the garage, and your half is busy with flowers. It does not matter. It is important that each of you needs time to do your own business.

And the ideal relationship between partners lies in the fact that each of the participants in these relations understood this need, respected it, and gave his partner the opportunity to implement it.

Your quarrels with a partner are productive

If you have chosen the right partner for the relationship, then the quarrels that can happen between you (and this is normal) do not happen in order to prove the rightness of one and the wrongness of the other partner.

This is secondary, as secondary attempts to find common ground in their quarrels with a loved one or loved one in order to end the argument (although then far from the worst optionthat might end your argument!).

When clarifying relationships with an ideal partner, you try to understand his point of view, trying to find a common language, compromises, showing respect for each other in the process of the dispute. If you ended the argument with the feeling that you won, then you lost!

Each of you has your friends, the joy of communicating with whom you willingly share with your partner

Some couples are only friends with couples; others just have common friends, including single people. For third, the situation with friendly relations has developed in such a way that he has his friends, and she has her own. They can be friends individually, or sometimes spend time in the company of friends of a partner.

However, if you have a really perfect relationship with your partner, you usually know how to find a balance between your social circle, your partner and his social circle. If this balance cannot be achieved in any way, perhaps this is a cause for concern about the strength of your relationship.

You retain your right to be yourself

You manage to be yourself without tension, while maintaining peace of mind, harmony and tranquility. The same can be said of your soulmate. At the same time, you value and support this feeling in your partner, not trying to change it.

In an ideal relationship with a partner, each of the participants in these relationships does not constantly try to change or adapt to their partner. The inner aspirations of a person in such relations are aimed at development and self-improvement.

Criteria for an ideal relationship between a man and a woman

Your friends and family like you together

One of the easiest ways to find out how ideal your relationship with a partner is is to pay attention to how your environment responds to you as a couple - colleagues, friends, parents, other relatives.

If you take into account the fact that your environment mostly wishes you well, then to see signs of dissatisfaction with your relationship with a partner is a bad sign. At least in the vast majority of cases!

Of course, no one will dare to claim that absolutely everyone should like your relationship! But if you have a sufficiently large environment, then you will be able to draw a general conclusion from private opinions, which, most likely, will correspond to reality.

You have the power to object to your partner, while respecting him

Love is only part of the key to a successful relationship. Despite this feeling, questions always arise that you cannot agree with. They necessarily arise, because ideal relationships are this is not a relationship of two ideal people.

But if something went wrong, each of you is able to maintain the highest degree of respect for each other. You can express your disagreement on any issue (and even do it very often) - this is quite normal for any couple!

But your style of expressing your disagreement is different in that you do it with respect to your partner. You do not seek to offend his feelings, do not make efforts to change your partner at all costs.

Does all of the above apply to you and your partner? So, you do not need your partner to agree with each of your words. He does not expect from you either. Awareness of this fact is one of the most important achievements of any ideal couple.

You are perfecting your partner, and he is perfecting you

This is great when, for example, a wife is able to make her husband a little better. We are not talking about violent attempts to change his worldview. It is about, for example, that the academic education of the spouse stimulates the man to tighten his level of knowledge.

Or, when a spouse's passion for morning jogging encourages his spouse to join him or start going to the gym. This is the so-called reciprocating improvement through mutual stimulation.

You constantly manage to make each other a little better - without pressure, without quarrels, without moralizing. Perhaps someone considers this item not mandatory for a relationship. But we are not just talking about relationships, but about their ideal model, right?

Signs that you are a perfect match

You share plans for the future with each other

Have you ever met a person of the opposite sex who is absolutely not interested in what awaits him in the future? If you start dating such a person, you will do yourself a disservice!

In an ideal relationship, both partners enthusiastic about what awaits them both in the future, even if they just soar in the clouds! And even such relationships, as practice shows, do not always last forever.

However, relations in which both partners share their views on the future have a much better chance for this future than those relations where such a dialogue between partners is not even put on the agenda.

You are attracted to your partner mind, body and spirit. And this feeling is mutual

Of course, something attracts you to your partner. This is a basic feeling that, obviously, should arise in order to motivate you to further develop the relationship. But is your partner's mind attractive?

Does your relationship mean that your partner is close in spirit, or are you only interested in physical attractiveness? Is your partner the person with whom you will always find common topics for conversation, even after years when you both become old and mottled with wrinkles?

Take a look at your other half: will the joy that the face of your partner radiates inspire youif this face becomes old and wrinkled? Your relationship is ideal if you are inspired not only by what is going on between you in bed, but also by those dialogues that you conduct well after midnight.

You are able to keep each other's secrets

Do you know any secrets of your partner? Is he aware of any of your secrets? If so, then are you able to keep these secrets from others, respecting the personal space of your partner?

It may seem like a trifle, but, in fact, the ability to keep the secrets of your partner is a sign that your relationship is at a certain level of respect; you value your partner, and he reciprocates with you.

About the same thing can be said about the situation when you have common secrets. The ability to keep them and not make quarrels from the hut is another sign of an ideal relationship, proving that you both made the right choice.

You both are one great team

How do you know that you and your partner are really one team, not only united by a common goal, but also able to act cohesively in a critical situation? Embark on a kayak trip together!

If both of you will find your journey torture, if you move extremely slowly, constantly quarrel about how to steer or row correctly, it means ... it just means that you don’t know how to control a kayak!