Ten most common mistakes in communicating with girls. What to write to a girl you like in contact on the Internet Should you write to a girl every day?
Let's talk about the main thing? There are a lot of attractive things in this life, but there is always something that we like more than others - our favorite knife, our favorite movie, our favorite music. Even avid travelers have a place where they visit most often or live, and the pickup gurus who teach you such cool “one-dates”, fast, “one-time” seductions - many of them have a permanent girlfriend or even a wife - the very best “ tasty”, suitable, interesting, with whom you want to spend time today and tomorrow, and maybe always.
What a pity to miss out on a “special” girl who is worth all the others combined! And how often do we miss such cool girls! They don’t call, refuse meetings, and put an end to the possibility of further communication. Why does this happen and how to avoid it?
Find out a few important tips that will help you bring an unexpectedly fantastic girl into constant communication after the first sex.
1. Time together.
As the hero of the film “Womanizer” said: “the most pleasant moment in communicating with a woman is when she…. leaves." The sex went great, you got what you wanted, you’re happy with the girl, happy with yourself, and very often you simply want to “switch the buzz” at this cool moment: eat, sleep or hang out with friends.
However, do not rush to tell the girl that the owner of the house should come any minute or you are urgently called to work. On the contrary, if the girl is worthwhile, spend several hours, or better yet the whole day after the first sex, communicating with her. This is necessary so that you can get used to each other and find out your values or raise the emotional level of your relationship. By going beyond sex as a goal, the result of your communication, you lay down some more global goal, making sex only part of a more beautiful and larger picture. Girls always feel this.
2. Call after sex.
You walked her home, to the bus stop, or to the door, and you parted with a long kiss. What's next? The next step that it is advisable to take on your part is to call her in a couple of days. The first call after sex also has its own “rules of the game.”
At this stage, many guys make irreparable mistakes:
– they invite the girl to another sex session directly or indirectly, which gives the girl an understanding of the narrow context of her value to the guy. Of course, if the initiative comes from her, then this is a very good sign and everything is great;
- a call about nothing, crumpled, strained, showing that the man himself does not know why he is calling and what he wants from the girl, who he imagines her to be in his life. In telephone conversations, women usually give the initiative to men. And it may happen that she will not be talkative. If you also don’t know what to say, then contact naturally will break off.
How to call and what to talk about:
It happens that you like a woman so much that you are simply afraid to call her for a day, two or three simply because you don’t want to spoil anything. In this case, she will start to think that something bad has happened, that she doesn’t want to call you, she begins to develop a complex “what if I seemed funny in sex”, and then get angry with you... and then you will definitely, when you call later, stumble upon her inadequate reaction and you will make a mistake. Therefore, it is better not only to practice in advance and speak the entire monologue, but also not to hesitate with the first call.
An important condition for the call is its correct completion: if you start, then you finish, the initiative is entirely yours. Sometimes it happens that you feel that it’s time to end the dialogue, but you just start stalling for time and talking nonsense. This cannot be done in any way; such a conversation will deduct all previously earned points.
Always try to find common positive topics. The conversation should be fun.
Before the end of the call, you can arrange another meeting. Or stipulate that you will arrange a meeting on your next call. It is not necessary to agree just this time.
You will determine the time of the call already in the process by its calibrations. For some, a call will take 5 minutes, and for others, it will take 5 minutes just to say hello.
3. New meeting.
At this meeting, you reveal yourself in a new way, appearing in a more interesting and advantageous way. Demonstrating your self-sufficiency, positivity, unusualness and interestingness is the main goal of the meeting. Whether there is sex or not is not important. You just need to correctly calibrate her condition and find out whether she wants it or not. But you have to show her that you are something very cool and special.
4. Further communication.
If you don’t have enough time for dates—to sit and chat—then you can replace face-to-face communication with a phone date. Of course, this doesn't have to happen all the time. You need to have at least two dates a week, but if you can't, you can arrange one real date and a second one over the phone or via Skype. The conversation should last at least half an hour. She should not feel a lack of attention to her on your part. At the initial stage, real meetings are completely replaceable by telephone conversations. This is a very good and working thing that has many advantages. Firstly, there is no need to waste time on the road, secondly, there is no need to spend an hour and a half on the date itself, thirdly, the call will save financial costs for a restaurant, cinema, treats, fourthly, it will save time on the way back. Agree that such a date is very convenient if you lack time or money.
A common question. There is no clear answer like “once a day.” It all depends on the specific girl and the specific situation. But there are several mistakes related to how often you write to her. Understand them and do not allow them - otherwise you will not be able to seduce her.
Read it in 3 minutes.
The trap of online communication: why do you need to write to the girl you like?
If you like a girl and want to seduce her, you are faced with two tasks.
- The first is to become for her a person with whom she feels good, with whom she wants to spend time.
- The second is to transfer communication from the “person-to-person” context to the “man-to-woman” context, to show her that you want her and that you are worthy of her.
These two tasks must be completed completely. And - important! — completing one of these tasks twice, three times or ten times will not change the fact that the second one has not been completed.
If you endlessly entertain her with conversations on topics that interest her, ask her about the news, be interested, but do not translate the communication into the context you need, you will remain “just a friend.” And from some point, when this status is consolidated, all your further “nice communication” with her will only cement you in the friend zone.
And now - attention.
On the Internet you can “talk nicely” to her, entertain her, and so on. But you can't fuck her on the Internet. You can't kiss her on the Internet. You can’t look into her eyes so that something shrinks inside her. You can try to write her something snotty like “why don’t we take our relationship to the next level” - but don’t do that. The likelihood of refusal with such a message increases significantly. Such proposals are made live - and made to a girl who is hot right now and ready to agree to them.
In general, it’s better to write to a girl in order to arrange a meeting. And it’s better, of course, to call, because when you call you can use the timbre of your voice.
Why shouldn't you text a girl too often?
Balance of significance
A girl should not feel that she is more important to you than you are to her. Because after this you become a supplicant, like: “please descend to me, oh heavenly angel.” And she begins to think whether you are good enough to be with her - and if you are so overwhelmed by feelings for her, then why doesn’t she find someone else who will be worth more in her eyes?
When you write to her often, you shift the balance of importance.
Let her miss you
Pauses in communication are wonderful. Let us sing the praises of pauses in communication. If you communicate with her all the time, answering her messages at length and sending her letters-sheets on your own initiative, she will most likely miss not communicating with you, but non-communication with you. But you need the opposite.
Use "closer-further"
The point is - now she’s all so interested, hot, you’re in seventh heaven. But when you call her tomorrow, she will say in the voice of Ivan Vasilyevich, changing his profession: “I’m busy, call me later.” And a week later she’ll suddenly call you and she’ll be hot again. And so in a circle, in a circle.
Mistake 1: Being too “nice guy.”
Have you ever noticed that really attractive women are not attracted to “cute” guys? Of course, I noticed. I'm sure you have charming friends who date "scumbags"... but, for some unknown reason, these girls were never interested in YOU. Why is this happening? It's actually simple...
When choosing a partner, girls are not guided by how “nice” a man is. Attraction to masculine guys arises on an instinctive level. Even if you are a hundred times nicer than your opponent, a woman simply WILL NOT FEEL ATTRACTED to you and, accordingly, will not choose you. I admit, this may sound meaningless, but you just have to believe and accept my words... Unless you are ready to give up success with the girls you want forever.
Mistake 2: Don't try to make her like you.
What do guys usually do when they meet the girl of their dreams... and she doesn't even look at them? Right! They try to “convince” the girl to feel differently. Try to remember... YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE A GIRL'S FEELINGS IF IT'S ABOUT SYMPATHY! Understand, NEVER. It is impossible to make a girl feel - neither by logic nor by reasonable reasoning. Think about it.
If she simply doesn't feel anything for you, how are you going to convince her to think logically? However, everyone is trying to do this. We beg, we chase, we try to influence girls' minds... It never works.
Mistake 3. Don't expect approval from a girl every time.
In their desire to please a girl (thinking that she will like us this way), men very often make this mistake. Women don't like guys who suck up to you all the time! However, don't get me wrong. You can't treat girls BADLY. You just need to understand that constantly waiting for permission to act does not help good mood of the fair sex. On the contrary, women are often irritated by such behavior. Do you doubt it? So ask any attractive girl about it.
Mistake 4: Don't try to “buy” her location.
Remember how many times you received a refusal, despite a candlelit dinner, expensive gifts and flowers? I dare say more than once. You know, this is completely NATURAL. That's right, you heard right. It’s as if you’re letting the girl know: “I don’t think you like me for who I am, so I’ll try to buy your attention and sympathy.” Even your good intentions can turn against you - a woman will think that you are trying to MANIPULATE her.
Mistake 5: Don't share your feelings with her ahead of time.
Unfortunately, this mistake is made by b O most of the stronger sex. Remember, truly attractive women are rare. And each of them gets a HUGE amount of male attention. Often guys don’t understand this, but they try to meet such girls all the time - several times a day turns into dozens a week and (oh, horror) HUNDREDS a month.
Do you know what? Girls go on dates with many suffering people. They already have EXPERIENCE. They know exactly what to expect. And some things make these poor little ones run away from a guy in fear - for example, the phrase “See, I really, REALLY like you!” She understands one thing - that you are one of many, just like the rest. Don't repeat other people's mistakes. Behave in a relaxed, dignified manner.
Mistake 6: Not understanding what attracts women.
In some ways, women are very different from us men. You should just accept this fact.
What happens when a guy sees a young, beautiful, sexy girl? That's right, he's attracted to her. Is a similar condition fair for the fair sex? Does a man’s appearance have the same power over a woman’s consciousness? Or is there another factor?
Having devoted almost five years to studying this topic, I can confidently say that usually a woman reacts to criteria not related to appearance. I am sure that you have paid attention to seemingly unremarkable, even unattractive men with charming companions. Think about it.
Women are attracted to certain qualities in a partner... they care about how they FEEL when they are around that person. With masterful use of body language and proper communication skills, you can make a woman feel the same sexual desire that you feel when seeing a hot young beauty. But it is impossible to master this art spontaneously. It takes a long time to STUDY. And ANY guy can learn...
Mistake 7: It's not all about money and looks.
One of the most common mistakes... Guys assume that women are only interested in the size of their wallet and stunning looks... maybe even a certain age or height. I am absolutely sure that there are girls in the world with such criteria. However, the reasonable majority cares, first of all, not about the wallet and appearance, but about the personality of the partner. This is what attracts them like a magnet.
Learn to identify personality traits that are valuable to a particular girl, and YOU will become their ideal. DON'T GIVE UP if you are not an oligarch or short in stature. Let me repeat my earlier point: with masterful use of body language and proper communication skills, you can make a woman feel the same sexual desire that you feel when seeing a hot young beauty.
Mistake 8. Don’t put all power in the hands of a woman.
I already mentioned earlier that you should not expect permission from a girl for this or that action. In the same way, you cannot indulge them in all their desires. The guy constantly does what the girl wants - this is a mistake. She will step over you and go on to new adventures. Remember, girls don't like weaklings.
Mistake 9: Ignorance of your behavior options when communicating with a girl.
Do you want me to surprise you? A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking. The fair sex has approximately TEN TIMES better understanding of body language. I know this is hard to believe.
Well, for example, if on a date you want to kiss a girl, she already knows about it. And if you have no idea HOW EXACTLY to do this, you sit next to her and are nervous, she won’t help you!
This idea is true for all aspects of relationships with women. Getting to know her, getting a phone number, asking her out on a date, physical contact... Everything!
Everything will be ruined, everything will be LOST, if in each specific situation you do not have a clear plan of action. And you yourself KNOW this. It is vitally important to be aware of every step you take in establishing and developing relationships - from dating to the bedroom.
Mistake 10: Don't be afraid to ask for help.
Perhaps the biggest mistake. It often prevents guys from achieving success with the girls they want. I know, I know, we don't like to look weak and helpless. We hate asking anyone for help.
I want to tell you a little about myself and how I became successful with women... About five years ago, I was already fed up with the fact that I couldn’t meet girls properly, let alone ask them out on a date. I can honestly say that this depressed me terribly.
One evening, my friend and I went out to the club, and there I saw HER... But I was so nervous that I simply could not approach. I still remember that evening... It was then that I decided that I would apply ALL my abilities, I would try everything, but I would achieve results.
After a lot of effort and hard work, I finally did it. Now I don’t experience any problems - for example, I receive my phone almost immediately after approaching. I had dates with models, and actresses, and simple cute girls.
Never again have I experienced that feeling of insecurity and uncertainty. At any given time I can meet a great girl.
Today, young people often face this problem: a guy makes an acquaintance with a young lady, they exchange phone numbers, after which a representative of the stronger sex expects a call from the girl, and in response there is silence. He can only guess why girls don’t write first.
Of course, in our society it has long been the case that a man is the head of a relationship, since he is the breadwinner and breadwinner in the family. From this point of view, it is quite understandable why girls do not write first. If the stronger sex is the leader in a relationship, then he should also be the initiator.
However, there is disagreement among experts on this issue. Some believe that it is the man who should approach the lady and start a conversation with her, since by nature he is stronger than the woman. Others, on the contrary, are perplexed why girls don’t write to their boyfriends first. They are sure that it is the ladies who should take the first step, because due to his inexperience, the young man is afraid that the fairer sex will not like him, and refusing further communication will be a real disaster for him. As a result, his male pride will suffer greatly. For a young man who is deprived of female attention, the question of why girls don’t write first is key, since he can search for an answer to it for an infinitely long time. Meanwhile... A woman in the classical sense of the word is a gentle and defenseless creature, so her lot is to wait for her conqueror. And it doesn’t matter whether someone likes it or not. It just so happened...
Reasons why a woman does not take the initiative herself
There are many reasons that explain why a representative of the fairer sex does not call or write to her new acquaintance.
Of course, a huge number of young people will be interested to know what motivates a girl to adhere to such tactics of behavior. Let's consider this aspect in more detail.
Once
The girl leads an active lifestyle: she studies, works, and goes to classes at a fitness club. She often does not have enough time to communicate. Naturally, if she does not make herself known, this is not a reason to think that she has lost interest in the guy. In this case, the two of you need to think about how to find time for meetings so that everyone is comfortable.
Stereotypes
Often the answer to the question about why a young lady does not write first young man, lies on the surface. In Russian society, the principles of upbringing are such that girls from childhood are taught the idea that boys should dominate in relationships, as mentioned above. They should be the first to say hello, come up to meet each other, invite you to dance or propose marriage... Because they are men!
Of course, for supporters of conservative education, the answer to the question “should you write to a girl first” is obvious. Of course. Naturally, almost all parents of girls and young women are worried that their “blood” will not be accused of free morals. No one is surprised that it is the young man who is the first to meet the young lady, the first to arrange a romantic meeting with her, the first to kiss her and make ardent declarations of love.
How to interpret the situation if the girl writes to the guy first?
Drawing attention to one's own person
It often happens that a representative of the fairer sex does not write to a guy only because she wants to attract maximum attention from him. With this behavior, she intends to capture his heart completely; according to her scenario, the young man must think about her 24 hours a day. And to achieve this, he must be a little nervous about the fact that his calls are not being answered. It must be admitted that this method of seduction is a little rude. It makes sense when a new acquaintance long time doesn’t make itself known, and then suddenly starts calling.
Of course, every woman wants to be the center of male attention, and for this she is ready to go to great lengths.
Excessive obsession of a young man
Some young men sometimes show excessive persistence towards the object of their passion, constantly calling the girl and constantly asking what she is doing and where she is. Of course, such behavior of a young man cannot but frighten the young lady, so it is unlikely that she will attempt to write to him first. We can only advise such a guy to change his behavior tactics and not be overly annoying.
The girl takes the initiative into her own hands
How to interpret the situation if the girl writes to the guy first? This often scares guys, because everyone believes that first a man should show interest in a lady and write her, for example, an SMS message. It is the stronger sex that should seek female love. Of course, a lady has the right to slightly draw a man’s attention to the fact that she is happy to continue communicating with him. But only. She herself should take the first step in a relationship in very rare cases. Thus, the answer to the question of whether a girl should write first is obvious.
In any case, a young man should be able to overcome his fear of a girl, be the first to approach the young lady or write to her. After all, that’s why he’s a man!
As has already been emphasized, a girl likes it when a guy thinks about her, so with her silence she tries to attract his attention to her person.
What to do if the girl does not make herself known?
Many guys are at a loss as to why their young ladies are in no hurry to send them text messages or call them. Of course, they want to somehow influence the situation. In the meantime, you don’t need to do anything. No one has the right to force her to write to you. Yes, this doesn’t make any sense. It’s better to take the first step yourself and after a short conversation, it is possible that later she will be the first to remind you of herself. Perhaps with this behavior the beauty is simply hinting that you need to do more than just lounge on the bed and talk on the phone while sipping beer. Are you interested in her? So be so kind as to lift your butt off the soft and comfortable chair or sofa and go to a personal meeting, of course, having agreed on everything in advance. However, this may not happen, and there is no need to blame her for this. In any case, the young man must control the situation.
Communication on social networks
Modern youth today prefer to get acquainted on the World Wide Web and hang out all day long in social networks. Of course, for many this is very convenient.
Many guys are interested in the question of why a girl writes first on VKontakte. Yes, this happens too. To achieve such success, you need to adhere to certain rules of communication, for example, write an original comment on her photo.
In general, if a guy wants not to be left without the attention of the opposite sex, he should not forget the wonderful words of the classic: “The less we love a girl, the more she likes us.” The main thing is not to overdo it. Good luck with your lovely ladies!
According to prevailing stereotypes, a guy should always be the first to take the initiative to communicate. Previously, it was believed that the girl who first writes to a man is frivolous and intrusive, so ladies were looking forward to the first step from their lover.
If a guy really likes a representative of the opposite sex, he must tell her about it, otherwise he simply risks missing his chance. Even the refusal that he may receive in response will not be as painful as male cowardice. Just imagine that you will not dare to start a dialogue with the girl you like, and then you will think that happiness was almost in your hands, and you missed it.
Why can a girl write first too?
All stereotypes about who should write first have long been outdated. Girls are psychologically more courageous and strong than guys, so they can easily take the initiative and independently start communicating with a person.
Even if a woman does not attract a man with her appearance, he is unlikely to ignore her message, as he will be interested in her courage. And then, after talking with a representative of the opposite sex a little longer, the girl will get a chance to show him her mental abilities, high level of intelligence and other positive qualities.
Some girls prefer to avoid taking initiative for fear of seeming intrusive. However, you must remember that your message will not be viewed negatively. Men, on the contrary, love brave women.
In addition, representatives of the fair sex may refuse to communicate with a guy just to intrigue him. It would seem that just recently they were having a nice time on their first date, and after that the girl disappears, and initially she let the guy know that she was interested in him. This behavior is, of course, acceptable, but in this way girls run the risk of getting a response from the guy.
Remember one thing: if you really like this or that person, you should not bother yourself with what is right and what is wrong. Do what you want. If you miss someone, tell them about it. If you want to meet, invite. If you need any help, ask. Remember that life is too short and unpredictable, so you may not have another chance.
There is an opinion that a guy should always text a girl first. However, some ladies prefer to take the first step on their own. But sometimes it happens that a girl simply stops writing to a young man, and this behavior of hers has its own significance.
A reasonable compromise: to write or not?
As a rule, you don’t expect frequent calls and messages from your girlfriend. There is a reasonable limit to everything. And if the girl is cultured, well-mannered, she won’t call every hour. Such messages will not lead to good things. In addition to the negative feelings (irritation, anger) of others, and even more so positive emotions it probably won't.
The girls themselves really look forward to a call or message from their loved one. Sometimes waiting is hard work. Sometimes it drags on and there is a desire to remind yourself. Such a step is welcome, but even here it is important not to spoil the opinion of yourself, because the guys have other things to do, problems that need to be solved without the participation of outsiders.
It is important to be tolerant of the freedom of personal space of each partner.
As a rule, girls are big fans of talking and chatting on the phone, while guys are not so talkative. However, it also happens when one call from a girl can really change something in a guy’s life. It’s no secret that one call is a chance to get to know each other and establish relationships, both close and friendly.
The woman you love doesn’t write, what does this mean?
If a girl does not interrupt your phone with regular messages, this does not mean that she is interested in you. Most likely, she is waiting for a call or SMS from you, afraid of seeming annoying, or she is really busy with things (working, studying, etc.). This kind of anxiety arises in young men who are a little unsure of themselves.
If there is no doubt about the feelings of your beloved, then there is no reason to worry about infrequent calls.
Talking and texting on the phone is not the only way to communicate, but it is a reliable option for maintaining good relationships, a means that will allow you to contact each other at the right time. A smart guy knows that if the girl does not call herself, he is the main one in their relationship and controls her, deciding when to call and write and how many times.
It is advisable not to get carried away by telephone correspondence and conversations and not to sort things out for any reason or without. Let the telephone be simply a means for organizing meetings (live communication). The development of relationships should not be reduced to simply exchanging messages over the phone. This is the wrong path and has no positive future.
Of course, it also happens when a girl really doesn’t want to write or call you. It's not that hard to understand. During the conversation, the girl is not eager to communicate with you or rejects your call, does not answer SMS, or tries to quickly end the conversation. It's better to try to find out what the reason is so that you can know whether she needs you or not. Ask a direct question and consider her answer. You will feel if the girl is no longer yours.
Some girls constantly spend all their time on social networks. They love to correspond with someone, communicate, and exchange various information. Men simply cannot understand why this happens.
Has this situation ever happened to you when a girl constantly bombards you with messages? Of course, at first such increased attention is very pleasant and strokes your pride, but if messages come too often at the most inopportune moment, and the girl is offended that you do not answer her, this situation begins to get a little annoying. You need to figure out why this happens. There are several reasons why a girl is messaging you.
Your lover lacks communication
Girls at a tender age tend to idealize their beloved. At the same time, the rest of the world seems to fade for them and ceases to interest them. The guy becomes the center of the universe and takes all their attention.
It is not surprising that by limiting her contacts with other people, the girl experiences a lack of communication, which she tries to compensate for with her loved one. He instantly becomes her best friend and she tries to tell him all the news that happens during the day.
Perhaps the girl at that moment did not have a best friend, and she decides that from now on the guy will become the closest person and involuntarily begins to smother him with her attention.
A woman has a social addiction
If messages come on social networks, it may happen that the girl is simply developing or has already developed social addiction. Modern youth very often communicate largely through messages, checking their accounts on Facebook and Vkontakte every few hours.
Sending messages to everyone is just a habit, a communication style, and a fashion statement.
The girl fell in love
Sometimes even the most proud and independent person begins to constantly write tender messages to her. This happens when a girl loses her head in love. Of course, the first wave of passion will soon pass, everything will return to normal, and messages will begin to arrive less frequently and will be more informative.
Whatever the reason why the girl began to want to flood the guy with messages, he must clearly decide for himself whether he needs the girl or not. If, unfortunately, the young man does not have any feelings for this person, and constant messages irritate him, he needs to gain strength to honestly admit this to his young beauty. If the girl who sends messages is attractive to him, he should understand that, most likely, he is not paying enough attention to her. It would be good for him to show more initiative for dating in real life.
A person can no longer imagine his life without a phone. Every day people make calls and write messages. It will be strange and unusual if not a single call is received in a day, especially if we are talking about a long-awaited call from a loved one.
Girls by one of her glances or gestures. This is much more difficult to do at the initial stage of dating. Not writing messages, not calling or not picking up the phone is a small revenge for the guy’s inappropriate behavior.
Why doesn't the girl call
It is worth considering other banal reasons why a girl is lost from sight and does not call. Maybe she simply has nowhere to call, her phone is broken, it was stolen, her SIM card was blocked, there is no money on her balance, she accidentally deleted the number from her address book, but she doesn’t remember it. A person is not immune from such situations. You shouldn’t panic right away, you need to find another way to contact the girl: come to her home, pick her up from work or after school, find out about her fate through mutual friends.Sometimes girls don’t want to hurt their boyfriend and don’t tell him about breaking up to his face. This news is extremely unpleasant, and you don’t know how a person will react to it. Therefore, ladies prefer to leave, break all ties with the young man and not write or call in the future. Such an act cannot be called honest. It's best to pluck up the courage and go talk to the guy. Being in an uncertain state is the hardest thing.
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