Child (age) psychology. Child psychology All about child psychology

Today, experts do not have any single version or theory that can give a comprehensive and indisputable idea of how a child’s mental development occurs.

Child psychology- this is a section that studies the spiritual and mental development of children, the patterns of ongoing processes, studying instinctive and voluntary actions and developmental features starting from the birth of a child until maturity at 12-14 years.

Psychologists divide childhood into periods, based on periodization mental development children lies the concept of leading activity, characterized by three main features:

Firstly, it must necessarily be meaningful, carry a semantic load for the child, for example, previously incomprehensible and meaningless things acquire a certain meaning for a three-year-old child only in the context of the game. Consequently, play is a leading activity and a means of meaning formation.

Secondly, basic relationships with peers and adults develop in the context of this activity.

AND, Thirdly, in connection with the development of this leading activity, the main new formations of age appear and develop, that range of abilities that allow this activity to be realized, for example, speech or other skills.

Leading activity is of decisive importance at each specific stage of children's mental development, while other types of activity do not disappear. They may become non-mainstream.

Stable periods and crises

Each child develops unevenly, going through relatively calm, stable periods, followed by critical, crisis ones. During periods of stability, the child accumulates quantitative changes. This happens slowly and is not very noticeable to others.

Critical periods or crises in psychological development children are discovered empirically, and in a random order. First, the crisis of seven years was discovered, then three, then 13 years, and only then the first year and the crisis of birth.

During crises, the child short term changes quickly, the main features of his personality change. These changes in child psychology can be called revolutionary, they are so fast-paced and significant in the meaning and significance of the changes taking place. Critical periods are characterized by the following features:

age-related crises in children arise unnoticed and it is very difficult to determine the moments of their onset and end. The boundaries between periods are unclear; in the middle of the crisis there is a sharp escalation;
During a crisis, a child is difficult to educate, often conflicts with others, attentive parents feel his distress, despite the fact that at this time he is obstinate and unyielding. School performance and productivity decrease and, conversely, fatigue increases;
the outwardly seemingly negative nature of the development of the crisis, destructive work occurs.

The child does not gain, but only loses from what he acquired before. At this time, adults should understand that the emergence of something new in development almost always means the death of the old. Looking closely at emotional state child, it is possible to observe constructive development processes even during critical periods.

The sequence of any period is determined by the alternation of critical and stable periods.
The child’s interaction with the surrounding social environment is the source of his development. Everything a child learns is given to him by the people around him. At the same time, in child psychology it is necessary that learning proceeds ahead of schedule.

Age characteristics of children

At each age of the child there are their own characteristics, which cannot be ignored.

Newborn crisis (0-2 months)

This is the first crisis in a child’s life; the symptoms of a crisis in a child are weight loss in the first days of life. At this age, a child is a maximally social being; he is unable to satisfy his needs and is completely dependent and, at the same time, deprived of means of communication, or rather, does not know how to communicate. His life begins to become individual, separate from the mother’s body. As the child adapts to others, a new formation appears in the form of a complex of revival, which includes reactions: motor excitement at the sight of approaching familiar adults; using crying to attract attention to oneself, i.e., attempts to communicate; smiles, enthusiastic “cooing” with the mother.

The revitalization complex serves as a kind of boundary for the critical period of the newborn. The timing of its appearance serves as the main indicator of the normality of the child’s mental development and appears earlier in those children whose mothers not only simply satisfy the child’s needs, but also communicate with him, talk, and play.

Infant age (2 months – 1 year)

At this age, the leading type of activity is direct emotional communication with adults.

The development of children in the first year of life lays the foundation for its further formation as a personality.

Dependence on them is still comprehensive; all cognitive processes are realized in relationships with the mother.

By the first year of life, the child pronounces the first words, i.e. structure emerges speech act. Voluntary actions with objects of the surrounding world are mastered.

Until one year of age, a child’s speech is passive. He has learned to understand intonation and frequently repeated phrases, but he himself still cannot speak. In child psychology, it is during this period that all the foundations of speech skills are laid; children themselves try to establish contacts with adults through crying, cooing, babbling, gestures, and first words.

After a year, active speech is formed. By the age of 1 year, a child’s vocabulary reaches 30, almost all of them have the nature of actions, verbs: give, take, drink, eat, sleep, etc.

During this time, adults should speak to children clearly and distinctly to impart correct speech skills. The process of language acquisition occurs more successfully if parents show and name objects and tell fairy tales.

The development of movements is associated with the child’s objective activity.

There is a general pattern in the sequence of movement development:

moving eye, the child learns to focus on an object;
expressive movements - a complex of revitalization;
moving in space - the child consistently learns to roll over, raise his head, and sit down. Each movement opens up new boundaries of space for the child.
crawling – this stage is skipped by some children;
grasping, by 6 months this movement from random grasping turns into purposeful;
object manipulation;
a pointing gesture, a completely meaningful way to express a desire.

As soon as a child begins to walk, the boundaries of the world accessible to him rapidly expand. The child learns from adults and gradually begins to master human actions: the purpose of an object, methods of acting with a given object, the technique of performing these actions. Toys are of great importance in the assimilation of these actions.

At this age, mental development begins and a sense of attachment is formed.

Crises in the psychological development of one-year-old children are associated with a contradiction between the biological system and the verbal situation. The child does not know how to control his behavior, sleep disturbances, loss of appetite, moodiness, touchiness, and tearfulness begin to appear. However, the crisis is not considered acute.

Early childhood (1-3 years)

At this age, the lines of mental development of boys and girls are separated. Children develop a more complete self-identification and understanding of gender. Self-awareness arises, claims for recognition from adults, a desire to earn praise and a positive assessment develop.

Speech develops further, and by the age of three the vocabulary reaches 1,000 words.

Further mental development occurs, the first fears appear, which can be aggravated by parental irritability, anger and can contribute to the child’s feeling of rejection. Excessive care from adults does not help either. A more effective method is when adults teach the child how to handle an object that causes fear using clear examples.

At this age, the basic need is tactile contact; the child masters sensations.

Crisis of three years

The crisis is acute, symptoms of a crisis in a child: response to adult proposals, stubbornness, impersonal obstinacy, self-will, protest-rebellion against others, despotism. A symptom of devaluation manifests itself in the fact that the child begins to call his parents names, tease, and swear.

The meaning of the crisis is that the child is trying to learn to make a choice and ceases to need the full care of his parents. The sluggish current crisis indicates a delay in the development of will.

It is necessary to determine for a growing child some area of activity where he can act independently, for example, in a game he can test his independence.

Preschool childhood (3-7 years old)

At this age, the child moves from simple manipulation of objects in play to story game- into a doctor, a salesman, an astronaut. Child psychology notes that at this stage, role identification and separation of roles begin to appear. Closer to 6-7 years, games according to the rules appear. Games are of great importance in the mental and emotional development of a child, they help cope with fears, teach them to take a leading role, and shape the child’s character and his attitude to reality.

Neoplasms preschool age are the school readiness complexes:

personal readiness;
communicative readiness means that the child knows how to interact with others according to norms and rules;
cognitive readiness presupposes the level of development of cognitive processes: attention, imagination, thinking;
technological equipment - that minimum of knowledge and skills that allows you to study at school;
level emotional development, the ability to manage situational emotions and feelings.

Crisis 7 years

The crisis of seven years is reminiscent of the crisis of one year, the child begins to make demands and claims for attention to his person, his behavior can become demonstrative, slightly pretentious or even caricatured. He still does not know how to control his feelings well. The most important thing that parents can show is respect for the child. He should be encouraged for independence and taking initiative, and vice versa, not to be punished too harshly for failures, because this can lead to a lack of initiative and irresponsibility.

Junior school age (7-13 years old)

At this age, the child’s main activity is learning, and learning in general and learning at school may not coincide. For the process to be more successful, learning should be akin to a game. Child psychology considers this period of development as the most important.

The main neoplasms at this age:

intellectual reflection – the ability to remember information, systematize it, store it in memory, retrieve and apply it at the right moments appears;
personal reflection , the number of factors influencing self-esteem expands, and an idea of oneself develops. The warmer the relationship with parents, the higher the self-esteem.

IN mental development the period of concretized mental operations begins. Egocentrism gradually decreases, the ability to focus on several signs at once, the ability to compare them, and track changes appears.

The development and behavior of a child is influenced by relationships in the family and the behavior style of adults. With authoritarian behavior, children develop less successfully than with democratic, friendly communication.

Learning to communicate with peers, the ability to adapt, and hence, to collective cooperation continues. The game is still necessary, it begins to take on personal motives: prejudice, leadership - submission, justice - injustice, loyalty - betrayal. Games have a social component; children like to come up with secret societies, passwords, codes, and certain rituals. The rules of the game and the distribution of roles help to assimilate the rules and norms of the adult world.

Emotional development depends to a large extent on experiences gained outside the home. Fictitious fears of early childhood are replaced by concrete ones: fear of injections, natural phenomena, anxiety about the nature of relationships with peers, etc. Sometimes there is a reluctance to go to school, and headaches, vomiting, and abdominal cramps may appear. There is no need to take this as a simulation; perhaps it is a fear of some kind of conflict situation with teachers or peers. You should have a friendly conversation with the child, find out the reason for the reluctance to go to school, try to resolve the situation and motivate the child for good luck and successful development. The lack of democratic communication in the family can contribute to the development of school age.

Crisis 13 years

In child psychology, age-related crises in children of thirteen years are crises social development. It is very similar to the crisis of 3 years: “I myself!”. Contradiction between the personal self and the surrounding world. It is characterized by a decline in performance and performance at school, disharmony in the internal personal structure and is one of the most acute crises.

Symptoms of a crisis in a child during this period:

negativism , the child is hostile to the entire world around him, aggressive, prone to conflicts and at the same time to self-isolation and loneliness, and is dissatisfied with everything. Boys are more susceptible to negativism than girls;
drop in productivity , ability and interest in learning, slowing down creative processes, moreover, even in those areas in which the child is gifted and has previously shown great interest. All assigned work is performed mechanically.

The crisis of this age is mainly associated with the transition to a new stage of intellectual development - the transition from visualization to deduction and understanding. Concrete thinking is replaced by logical thinking. This is clearly manifested in the constant demand for evidence and criticism.

The teenager develops an interest in the abstract - music, philosophical issues, etc. The world begins to divide into objective reality and internal personal experiences. The foundations of a teenager’s worldview and personality are intensively laid.

Adolescence (13-16 years old)

During this period, rapid growth, maturation, and development of secondary sexual characteristics occur. The phase of biological maturation coincides with the phase of development of new interests and disappointment with previous habits and interests.

At the same time, the skills and established mechanisms of behavior do not change. There arises, especially in boys, acute sexual interests, as they say, they begin to “become naughty.” The process of painful separation from childhood begins.

The leading activity during this period is intimate and personal communication with peers. There is a weakening of ties with family.

Main neoplasms:

concept is being formed "We" — there is a division into communities “friends and strangers.” In the teenage environment, the division of territories and spheres of living space begins.
formation of reference groups. At the beginning of formation, these are same-sex groups, over time they become mixed, then the company is divided into pairs and consists of interrelated pairs. The opinions and values of the group, almost always opposed or even hostile to the adult world, become dominant for the teenager. The influence of adults is difficult due to the closed nature of the groups. Each member of the group is not critical of the general opinion or the opinion of the leader, dissent is excluded. Expulsion from the group is equivalent to complete collapse.
emotional development is manifested by a sense of adulthood. In a sense, it is still false and biased. In fact, this is only a tendency towards adulthood. Appears in:
- emancipation - the requirement for independence.
- a new attitude towards learning - a desire for greater self-education, and complete indifference to school grades. There is often a discrepancy between the teenager’s intelligence and the grades in the diary.
- the emergence of romantic relationships with representatives of the opposite sex.
- change in appearance and manner of dressing.

Emotionally, the teenager experiences great difficulties and worries, and feels unhappy. Typical teenage phobias appear: shyness, dissatisfaction with one's appearance, anxiety.

The child’s games transformed into the teenager’s fantasy and became more creative. This is expressed in writing poems or songs, keeping diaries. Children's fantasies are turned inward, into the intimate sphere, and are hidden from others.

The urgent need at this age is understanding.

Parental mistakes in raising teenagers include emotional rejection (indifference to the child’s inner world), emotional indulgence (the child is considered exceptional and is protected from the outside world), authoritarian control (manifested in numerous prohibitions and excessive severity). The crisis of adolescence is further aggravated by permissive laissez-faire (lack or weakening of control, when the child is left to his own devices and is completely independent in all decisions).

It differs from all stages of child development; all anomalies of personal development that originated and developed earlier are manifested and are expressed in behavioral (more often in boys) and emotional (in girls) disorders. Most children experience disorders on their own, but some require the help of a psychologist.

Raising children requires a lot of strength, patience and peace of mind of adults. At the same time, this is the only opportunity to express your wisdom and depth of love for your child. When raising our children, we need to remember that we have an individual in front of us, and she grows up the way we raised her. In all matters, try to take the child’s position, then it will be easier to understand him.

The process of raising a child is long and complex. Sometimes parents find themselves in difficult situations, from which there seems to be no way out at first glance. However, this is a wrong opinion: there is always a way out, you just need to rethink your actions, the child’s behavior, and look at the problem from a different perspective. Take on the role child psychologist and you will succeed.

An important role in educational process plays communication with children. In fact, this is one of the most effective ways influence on the child, which is of great importance in the formation of personality and worldview.

Read the articles in this section of the site - perhaps articles about child psychology and the recommendations contained in them will be useful to you in the process of raising your child.

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Peter's first day of kindergarten. He has his hair cut, wears a new red shirt and is scared to death. Peter's mother doesn't understand this because she is confident that Peter is well prepared for kindergarten at five years old. “Well, of course,” she says to the teacher, “he knows the alphabet, counts to one hundred and can write his name.” But, as the teacher soon discovers, Peter was not ready for life in a new environment. He seemed uptight, didn't play with the other children, and spent most of the day huddled in a corner sucking his thumb.

Michael, who was brought to kindergarten at the same time as Peter, did not know as much as he knew. He had difficulty counting to ten and confused many letters. But when his mother left, he skipped into the room, smiled shyly at the teacher, walked up to a group of children playing with cars, and asked: “Can I be a mechanic in the garage?” The teacher was amazed at how confident Michael felt and how easily he interacted with the children, and she thought to herself: “This child is ready to learn to read and write!”

Over the 40 years that I have spent time studying preschoolers, I have become increasingly disturbed by parents who think that kindergarten readiness is about learning letters or being able to count. It's not like that at all. I have nothing against teaching these essential skills, but I have found that they are best taught and easiest to learn after a good start has been made in developing other skills.

Concentrating too early on theoretical tasks can hinder the child’s normal development. We sometimes forget that nature has its own schedule for human development. Trying to teach a three-year-old to write is like teaching a three-month-old baby to walk. May cause irreversible damage. If a child goes to kindergarten and feels happy, confident, optimistic, inquisitive 1 and friendly, I am sure that he will study well and enjoy himself. But, if he is nervous, frightened, irritable and burdened with unfulfilled needs, he will poorly assimilate the initial knowledge that will be given to him. In my opinion, a child cannot be considered truly prepared for kindergarten - or for life - until he has learned the following ten things.

1. Love yourself.

Self-love is the most fundamental and essential of all abilities. Until you are able to appreciate own life, you will never become active, you will not be able to realize your own potential.

Given how much we love our children, it would be easy for us to convey to them the feeling of self-love, but apparently this method is not very reliable.

Try to remember what you thought about yourself when you were five years old. I believe most of us have thought of ourselves as stupid or ugly. We were angry with ourselves if we were afraid at night, we were ashamed of ourselves if we did not want to share with younger sister with your new doll. We were disappointed in ourselves if we were awkward, shy or clumsy, while mom hoped to raise a ballerina. Sometimes we cannot help a child love himself until we re-evaluate some of our own attitudes - the burden that we carry in yourself throughout your life. Perhaps such self-knowledge will be painful, but as a result we will be able to say: “Yes, brown eyes and olive skin really disgust me. My parents gave me a feeling of inferiority because I looked like their Italian ancestors, and they wanted to be 100% white American. Now that I have this olive skinned babe and brown eyes, can I act like a grown-up and see how beautiful she is and let her know that?"

The irrational prejudices that we learn from the cradle are just one of the obstacles that prevent us from helping our children love themselves. Many of us also find it difficult to distinguish between “being bad” and “being human.” It makes a big difference if instead of saying, "Don't act like a baby," we say, "You're not old enough to be quiet in a restaurant. We'll try going there again when you're a little older." It's also completely different things to say, “You're selfish,” or to say, “It's very hard to learn to share with others, but that's okay, I'll help you. If you let Donna play with your bucket, she'll let you play with her truck.”

The Puritan assertion that everyone is either good or bad and that children should therefore be taught to be good has probably brought more misery to mankind than anything else. We are all born being angels and devils in equal measure, and we need to learn to live with this truth. Of course we say, “No, you shouldn’t hit the baby,” but we also say, “You’re too young to control yourself when you’re angry. I have to help you.” Learning to accept that you have anger, jealousy, and antisocial urges is part of growing up. We must also learn to govern ourselves, but without denying that such urges exist and without making our children feel like sinners. A child who is told that he behaves badly develops self-loathing, and this interferes with learning, life and love more than any other psychological problem.

Once a child feels protected and valued, he begins to develop empathy for others. One of the earliest experiences of this kind occurs in relationships with pets. A child who has experienced tenderness and care is able to carefully hold a stray kitten in his arms or call his parents for help when someone offends a dog. Any five-year-old child who can spontaneously exclaim at the sight of a bird with a broken wing, “Oh, you poor thing!” has already acquired one of the most fundamental abilities necessary to change the quality of all life on this planet.

2. Interpret behavior.

A child who comes to kindergarten thinking that he is a wonderful creature may nevertheless not engage in learning if he does not know how to interpret the behavior of others and his own. For example, he may become so distracted by the two girls in the front row who are ganging up on him that he cannot concentrate on adding two to five. Or, if the teacher yells at him one morning, he may become so confused and afraid that he will not be able to pay attention in class for the rest of the day.

If a child has learned something about people's moods and their shortcomings, if he has been taught to interpret certain types of behavior, he will not be inclined to be upset in similar situations. He will understand that maybe the two girls are scared by the new kindergarten and they need a common enemy to feel safer, that his teacher is simply in a bad mood: she had a fight with her husband or was caught in rush hour on the way to work and , maybe tomorrow she herself will ask for forgiveness.

In addition to the fact that a child needs to be able to interpret the behavior of others, he needs to learn to explain his own behavior. This can have a strong impact on the child's future attitude towards schoolwork. If a child shouts at his mother at breakfast, if at the sight of an omelette he says: “You know how much I hate it, I’ll throw it in the trash now!” - and then flies out of the house, then most likely one of two things will happen to him today. He may be so filled with guilt and horror that he will not hear a single word the teacher says. Or he may wonder what came over him; think about whether he is still angry at his father who yelled at him last night, and decide that he will ask for forgiveness when he returns home. In the latter case, he is able to forget about the incident while he is in kindergarten. With a mind free of anger and confusion, he accepts all the teacher’s explanations well.

3. Communicate using words.

Once children can explain the true meaning of their actions, they need to learn how to help other people understand them. If a girl can tell her teacher, “I was so afraid that I wouldn't succeed that I just couldn't think,” the teacher can understand that her fear is interfering with learning and can appropriately reassure her. If a child can tell his father, “You scare me when you scream so loud,” one can hope that the father will try to negotiate with him calmly instead. Any five-year-old child who can calmly and easily communicate his feelings by saying, “I’m scared,” or “I love you very much!” or “I have such a piercing feeling inside, such a trembling, that I don’t think I’m ready yet.” ride a two-wheeler" has already acquired the ability that will give him the freedom he needs to think, wonder and learn.

4. Understand the difference between thoughts and actions.

Without this skill, which is fully developed by the age of five, it will be extremely difficult for a child to concentrate in class. For example, Gregory looks out the window and imagines himself as a pilot while the teacher explains basic arithmetic to the class. He doesn't hear what the teacher is saying at all because he is very angry. His parents had just divorced, and if his feelings could be brought to the surface, it would most likely be: "I hate them both. I want them to die." These are such terrible thoughts that Gregory has to concentrate with all his might to keep them out of consciousness.

If, in the first five or six years of his life, Gregory had been helped to understand that thoughts are not the same as actions, and that feelings, properly expressed, do not harm anyone at all, he might have given them free rein. And all that energy that was spent on avoiding one's own feelings could be turned to other purposes, including the wonderful possibilities of addition and subtraction. He, of course, needs help to get through this very real crisis, but he should have explained that it is natural to feel terrible feelings when you are suffering, when you are anxious, when life is full of agony. It is impossible for a child to concentrate and learn if he experiences hidden feelings that he himself considers dangerous and bad.

5. Be interested and ask questions.

All the popular books and conversations about what activities and skills we should teach preschoolers have been pushed into the background and have almost eliminated natural, instinctive curiosity. We often get so caught up in counting sticks that we stop listening to the wonderful questions children ask of themselves: “Why do the leaves change color?.. What makes the grass grow?.. Where does snow come from?.. How does an egg make a baby? .. What does it mean to die?.. Why am I growing?.. How does milk get to the store?.. Why do some children starve?.. How can a submarine stay under water and not sink?.. "

If we want to support this instinct of curiosity, we need to make sure that by the time a child is five years old, he is reveling in his questions and knows that there are ways to find the answers. He must also learn that some questions have not yet been answered, that others have many different answers, and that sometimes he will have to try to find his own.

In her book The Learning Child, Dorothy Cohen, a professor of education, makes a crucial distinction between giving a child fish to eat and teaching him how to catch a fish. If we give him cooked fish, we can satisfy his immediate hunger, but what happens if we are not around to feed him? The same thing happens with knowledge and information: if we always present it to a child ready for use, he will never learn to obtain it on his own. Children should be taught how they can “find out” their own answers.

When we say: “I don’t know,” “I’m busy right now,” “Ask dad,” or “You shouldn’t talk about this topic,” we discourage the child from “catching” knowledge himself. If, on the contrary, we encourage his curiosity and help him find answers, we contribute to the development of his intellectual ability, the most essential for a person.

6. Understand that there are no simple answers to complex questions.

Our children's generation will be forced to face the most serious questions. Can't be simple solutions problems such as loss of ecological balance, population explosion, and the spread of weapons that can destroy all living things. To become wise and mature adults, children must begin to understand that simple solutions never solve a problem, that in fact we must dig deeper to find the best answer to a given question.

We need to teach children to look at the root. "Well, maybe Joe is angry today because he came to kindergarten hungry." Or: "If Sarah keeps breaking the clay crafts you make in kindergarten, we better talk to the teacher. He can talk to Sarah's mom and find out why Sarah is unhappy and what we can do to help her." This is a difficult path, but it gives a child much more than when we say: “I think Sarah is a bad girl and you should stay away from her.” ~U social problems There are no easy solutions, and we will do our children, ourselves and the future a disservice if we mislead little ones about this. We set children on the wrong path when we focus on questions that actually have right and wrong answers (what is three and six? What is the third letter in the alphabet?). Children need to experience difficulty first life situations so that they are prepared to face confusion, uncertainty and impermanence real life.

7. Don't be afraid of failures - necessary condition growing up.

To learn anything, you must not be afraid to make mistakes, even fail. The first book you turn to may not contain the answer to the question of why birds migrate; you will have to look for the answer in some other one. The first wooden table you make may be ugly and lopsided, but if you can learn from your mistakes, you'll make the next one much better. Children need to be helped to understand that learning is a long, slow process of trial and error. No great invention or scientific discovery has ever been made without a large number of trials and failures preceding it. “We have to make it very clear to them that success and failure are not what learning is all about.” I quote the words of one wise teacher primary classes: "Really, school should teach kids to be players! The only way to find out what you know and don't know is to take a little risk. We scare kids to death. Who wants to try to answer a question or try to learn something new if is success or failure judged instead of attempt?"

8. Trust adults.

A five-year-old child needs to have true trust in adults if he is to focus his full attention on educational tasks. And it’s difficult to trust people if they deceive you, they say that they won’t go anywhere, but when you wake up, you find a nanny in your parents’ place; They say the doctor won’t hurt you, but he does. We pay a lot high price for the games we play with children to avoid their tears. If you want to be believed, it's better to say, "I'm going to go out for a few hours while you sleep," even if you have to endure a painful goodbye. And from the doctor: “You may be in a little pain, but it will go away soon. You can sit on my lap and cry if you want.”

Many adults think they can gain trust by being consistent, but I think that's a big mistake. There is a fine line between consistency and rigidity, and I believe it is important to trust people, even if their feelings and intentions are changeable. People change as they age, and we are all subject to mood swings. For a child, consistency in one thing is important: in our attempts to be honest with him, explaining as best we can where we are inconsistent, and apologizing if this inconsistency is not justified.

It is quite possible to help a child understand that not all people are kind, and at the same time create in him the feeling that most contacts with adults will be good. Fostering confidence in this depends in part on how willing we are to share our child's feelings about people. We have to be honest with our children, sometimes saying, “Yeah, you're right, your teacher does make too much of a fuss about hand washing,” or, “Yeah, I know what you mean about Auntie, she's too bossy when we are coming". .-

Mistrust arises from the feeling that only you can see the unpleasant qualities in other people, and for children this feeling is not uncommon. We will not violate a child's trust if we acknowledge human imperfection.

9. Think for yourself.

To say “no” is actually to say “I exist.” This begins as the child develops some idea of himself, a feeling that he is actually an independent person. Many parents are scared and angry about this possibility when they should be excited about it. A sense of one's own uniqueness and ability to choose is a vital part of human existence.

If a child has some idea of who he is, he will inevitably have his own opinion by the age of five. This ability is very easy to teach - you just need to encourage the child to express his judgment, without fear that he will be punished. None of us wants to raise a person who is weak in spirit or weak in intelligence, we want our children to make serious decisions, have common sense and inner convictions. And we cannot wait until the child goes to college, where he will develop these abilities. These principles are already active when we say: “Now that you are almost three years old, I think you you can decide whether we buy you blue overalls or red ones." Or: "While we're eating cornflakes for breakfast, you can make yourself a sandwich with butter and jam." Or: "Okay, I'm not annoyed with our neighbor, but you have the right to one's own opinion."

When we show respect for the child's personality, his emerging views, likes and dislikes, we prepare him for situations in which he will have to make decisions for himself, for example whether or not to join a group of children who decide to explore a destroyed house, or whether or not to agree to go with by a stranger who said he knew his father. When we lose our temper over “no” at two and a half years old, we need to keep in mind that there will come a time when we will be grateful that our child is able to say “no.” Judgment is corrected by practice.

10. Know what you can rely on an adult for.

By the time a child is five years old, I think he should know that there are many situations that he simply cannot control. He cannot cope with the company of older children, with teenagers pushing drugs, with the wild behavior of the class during the lessons of an inexperienced teacher. Part of trusting adults is knowing when you need

help, and be able to ask for it. This may seem simple, but surprisingly few children enter kindergarten or 1st grade able to do this. As a result, many of them quickly find themselves in situations that are so frightening and overwhelming that learning becomes impossible. We need to explain to children that we can be friends, help them, without treating them like little ones, without being overprotective, we can understand their world.. We say that we attach great importance to the rights of the small and weak, but often we do not include our children into these idealistic constructs.

It is much easier to learn if the child does not have unmet needs in early childhood. With more attention to deep human values, we can raise a generation of wise and loving people who will be capable of change and will be able to make the world a better place.

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When they say that this mother is good and that mother is bad, they are more likely talking about stereotypes than about reality. Are there criteria for a good mother? And what does “bad mother” mean?

Since everything is relative in this world, it would be more correct to say that there are mothers with whom children feel good, and there are mothers with whom it is bad. And there are women who are absent as mothers to their children. Each case has its positive and negative sides.

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There are different concepts about education.

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When parents first encounter a child’s disobedience, the first reaction may be anger and a desire to rein in the little rebel. It is as normal for adults to experience such emotions as it is for children to be capricious and learn to defend their boundaries.

A child needs to go through age-related crises correctly so that his personality develops harmoniously. A child’s age-related crises affect the atmosphere in the family, so psychologists’ sessions with children will help them go through these stages correctly, maintaining a warm relationship between parents and child.

Why are psychological sessions with children useful?

Classes with a psychologist for young children are necessary if the pace of development slows down.

If a child begins to noticeably lag behind his peers in the development of speech, memory, ability to care for himself, or it is difficult for him to express his emotions, then psychological classes with children will correct this process.

Psychologist for a 3-year-old child - “I myself” crisis

The three-year-old crisis is one of the most famous age stages. The period when the child begins to separate himself and the world around him. The first rebellion of disobedience, it is also called the “I myself” period. This age is a real test for parents. Classes with a psychologist for a 3-year-old child will help you get through the crisis more comfortably and will support your child. The help of a child psychologist for a 3-year-old child at this time is important, because it is now that basic personal values are being laid - self-confidence, self-sufficiency, the ability to make independent decisions.

It is important for parents to explain to their child the boundaries of his behavior. If this is not done, then adolescence children will have problems communicating with peers and depend on the opinions of more confident friends.

Psychologist sessions with preschoolers

IN at different ages The child needs to solve various personal problems. Classes with a psychologist for a 4-year-old child will differ from the work of a psychologist for a 5 or 6-year-old child. At the age of 4 to 6 years, children begin to explore the world more actively. Psychologist's classes with children from 4 to 5 years old help develop cognitive skills - attention, thinking, speech, perception and imagination. This helps children prepare for school and learn better. educational material. A psychologist for a 6-year-old child helps develop communication skills and communication with peers, which will help in the future to socialize and make friends.