Their joint child. Co-sleeping as a phenomenon of contact between a child and parents

Standard deduction for children

A tax deduction is the amount by which the tax base must be reduced.

All tax deductions are reflected in the Tax Code. In the same law, the procedure for obtaining them is determined.

The tax deduction for children that interests us is enshrined in Article 218 of the Tax Code of the Russian Federation and refers to the types of standard deductions, since the amount of the deduction does not depend on the income of a citizen or on the amount of tax paid, but only on the number of children.

The standard child tax deduction is available to those citizens who have one or more children to support.

Article 218 of the Tax Code refers to such citizens:

parents;
spouses of parents;
guardians, trustees;
adoptive parents.

A tax deduction can be provided to parents up to the month in which their income exceeds the amount of 280,000 rubles.

If the spouses have a child from a previous marriage for which they pay alimony, then their joint children will be considered the second and subsequent child.

Only a citizen who is a tax resident and who receives any income taxable at a rate of 13% can apply for a tax deduction.

Accordingly, parents who are exempt from paying personal income tax due to the fact that they do not have income that can be taxed cannot count on a tax deduction.

These include:

Non-working citizens who have only unemployment benefits as income.
Individual entrepreneurs who have chosen a special tax regime and do not have income taxed at a rate of 13%.

In order to correctly calculate the tax deduction, it is necessary to line up the dates of birth of children from the oldest to the youngest. Even if you can no longer get a deduction for the first child due to his age, the deduction for the second, third and subsequent children will be calculated based on different amounts.

Full information on how to apply for a standard tax deduction for children can be obtained on the official website of the Federal Tax Service by selecting the "Individuals" section and going to the "Individual income tax, tax deductions" section, and then to "Standard tax deductions".

Apartment exchange.

We live in a 3-room apartment, the husband and his mother and she is the guardian of her incapacitated mother, she keeps her in the hospital for money, me and 3 children (one of our joint children is 3 years old and 2 mine from a previous marriage is 9 years old, he did not adopt them ). The apartment is owned by my husband 1/4 of the share, his mother has my mother-in-law, too, 1/4 of her mother and the deceased father of the mother-in-law, also 1/4 for all four of them, 1/4 only now my grandfather died, and I just with the children They are registered. And the mother-in-law wants to change the apartment, and kicks us out in 1/4 of the share. What are we entitled to?

Diana, Tver

Hello. It is possible to exchange an apartment only with the consent of all co-owners. So, if your husband does not agree to the exchange, then there will be no exchange.

DETERMINATION OF THE ORDER OF COMMUNICATION WITH THE CHILD - FREE LEGAL ADVICE

SECTION APARTMENTS.

My husband and I are divorced. Since he is a military man, he should have been provided with a living space upon his dismissal. At one time he received an apartment for his first family, then he divorced and after some time we signed with him. how an apartment at one time was obtained not for this family. We have lived together since 1991. We have a child together. Does he have the right to write us out without our knowledge, and do we have the right to an apartment?

Alexander, Penza

Where does your ex-husband live now - in what apartment, what is her status?
Your ex-husband was already provided with housing from the Department of Defense. He has no more rights to housing from the Moscow Region, unless he is recognized as in need of better housing conditions. So please elaborate.

Apartment and children from the first marriage

I am the second wife. My husband has an adult son from his first marriage, who lives separately. My husband and I have a joint child (14 years old). When we bought an apartment, we registered it in the name of my husband. Three people are registered in the apartment: husband, daughter and me. I am interested in whether my son has any rights to the apartment, how to re-register the apartment for me at the lowest cost, and will my son have the right to the apartment after it is re-registered for me?

Andrey, Moscow

Make a donation for the entire apartment, then your son will not have rights to the apartment.
Happy holiday, good luck in everything, O.Ukraintsev

Former relatives demand payment of utility bills...

Hello! Tell me, please, can I not pay utility bills at the place of registration if: - my husband and I are divorced; - an apartment where we lived together in the property in equal shares with his mother, stepfather, his and our joint child. I was simply registered after the registration of marriage and the privatization of the apartment; - at the moment, my child and I live in my parents' apartment, because the owner (my ex-husband) and his parents tortured me with threats; - the above-mentioned people demand payment from me for utilities for themselves and the child; - the father of the child pays alimony. Thanks in advance, Tatiana M.

Arseny, Kaliningrad

The obligation to pay for utilities lies with the owner. You are not obliged to pay, I suggest that you check out of that apartment.

Apartment

Hello, my husband and I are divorced, we have a joint child, but we still live in the same apartment, the apartment was purchased in marriage, the young family has a loan for me, my husband is a co-borrower, but he does not pay the loan and is not going to leave the apartment, I heard if I I will file for the division of property, they will establish shares in the apartment and that's it, and anyway he will not go anywhere, what can be done in this situation to sue his apartment?

Alena, Moscow

Hello Oksana
No, unfortunately, no
________
If necessary, we will quickly and efficiently prepare the necessary documents to resolve your issues with the possibility of full legal support for your business.
Law firm "Ava-Kado Business Group"

Eviction from the apartment of unregistered people

Hello) Help, please, with advice. I have an apartment. Bought in marriage, in a notarial agreement in 1995, four shares of 1/4 (shared ownership is not joint), Equal shares for me and three children. The husband has no share under the contract. Six months ago, my husband and I divorced. I moved into my parents' apartment. Of the children, one daughter is registered in that apartment (my husband is her stepfather). Two joint children with shares live and are registered in other cities. Today, my ex lived alone in the apartment, and a week ago, without our knowledge, he moved his girlfriend into the apartment with her minor child and with a dog-like. As a result, now we can't even enter the apartment without the ex-husband, the dog growls. What measures can be taken to legally evict settled people and animals?

Alexandra, Khabarovsk

You need to draw up a statement of claim, file it with the court of jurisdiction, attach supporting documents

How to restore ownership of an apartment

Hello! Please tell me how to restore ownership of the apartment outside or whether the actions of my ex-wife, who decided to sell our joint apartment, are legal, while asking me to write a power of attorney to make real estate transactions. We certified the power of attorney at the notary, she wrote me a receipt where she promised to return my share from the sale of the apartment. Later, my wife did not sell the apartment, but transferred it to our joint child, without my consent, I checked out of the apartment. Please tell me if I can challenge the legality of the operation, register back or restore the right to property? Thank you in advance.

Alexey, Moscow

You can apply to the court to declare the transaction void, because. were misled by the ex-wife. There will also come in handy the receipt she wrote. You can claim your marital share in this apartment in monetary terms.
Sincerely, Irina Lifanova.

Good day, dear lawyer! My name is Alena and I need your advice on the following issue. I want to file for divorce. Husband drinks heavily and can't stand it anymore. We have two children together, one is 18 and the other is 16. Both students, the older one graduated from the 1st year of the university, and the younger one just entered after graduation. I would like to file an application for alimony along with the divorce petition. Will alimony be collected in favor of both children or only for the youngest son, because is the eldest already an adult?

Xenia, Moscow

Alena Dmitrievna, only for one person (art. 80, 120 part 2 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation)

Housing problem

Hello. Please answer the question. I am not divorced from my husband, but we have been living separately for 5 years. We have two children together, a 16 year old son and a 30 year old daughter. Children from birth are registered at the place of residence of the husband. His apartment was privatized in equal shares for three: husband, son and daughter. Last week, my husband issued general powers of attorney (from children) for the sale of an apartment. He takes out a mortgage to buy a new home. What rights to newly acquired housing will my children have and does he have the right not to register them at a new place of residence?

Anna, St. Petersburg

He is not obliged to register his daughter, that is, she may lose her apartment. The son, since he is a minor, the father is obliged to provide housing (share). In fact, for the sale of an apartment in which a minor is registered, you need the consent of the guardianship authorities, who will just look at whether the father will provide his son with a place of residence.

Question on the topic: "Housing law"

Hello dear lawyer! We live with my common-law husband (I have nothing to do with their housing), we have a joint child of 11 months, registered in his living space, a child, 2 brothers, and their mother, the renter is the mother. The husband wants to change (their 3 for 2 with a surcharge) in order to buy us an apartment. The apartment is not privatized, the mother does not agree to any actions, can we somehow part? life together with her becomes terrible! Help, PLEASE

Margarita, St. Petersburg

Only in court, but in practice it is very difficult to implement. Non-privatized housing can only be exchanged for privatized housing. That's all. And turning to the court, you must provide already suitable options. So good luck to you. Maybe it makes sense to privatize, and then disperse?

housing issue

Can we discharge the daughter-in-law from the apartment if my brother has not lived with her for more than 13 years, and they lived for about 3 years. Our apartment is not privatized, and my mother is the tenant. she never paid. There is a joint child of 16 years old. She has nowhere to register in Astrakhan, although she has been living in Astrakhan for many years.

Ivan, St. Petersburg

It is possible that if she left voluntarily, took away her things, no obstacles were put in her way to live.

Can I live in my husband's apartment for the rest of my life

I have been married for 23 years, registered with my husband, he has 1 room apartment. There are no joint children. He has two daughters, they can claim if they can evict me .... then, my husband is very sick, unfortunately, and I'm afraid to stay on the street, or they will put someone up. does the law work now under a life-long residence agreement, or not, what is the best thing to do so that you don’t offend your husband, please help, or gifts, but would you like to? Thank you in advance! I know that 1/3 is mine, but the rest can be demanded from me through the court, I am also not allowed to travel abroad, there is nowhere to go, to crawl more precisely?

Valeria, Moscow

And yet, you need to talk to your husband so that he can arrange an apartment for you under a donation agreement.

Housing problem

Tell me please, we are going to buy an apartment by investing maternity capital. What is the best way to do the paperwork when buying a new apartment so that the husband’s child from his first marriage does not claim a part in the apartment in the event of his death (his child lives with his ex-wife)? Marriage with us registered, two joint children and one of my children (not adopted) Can I draw up a marriage contract? Thanks in advance

Uliana, Moscow

when buying an apartment using maternity capital, housing must be registered for all family members. therefore, you will not be able to arrange an apartment otherwise. if you want the share not to go to other persons, then your husband can write a will for someone or donate his share, but for donation you need to wait at least a year. otherwise the pension fund will hold you criminally liable

Heritage apartment

There is an apartment in a cooperative house. From the documents for the apartment, only the registration certificate of the BTI, which says that * the residential building at st. , based on the decision of the executive committee*. Husband and Wife live and are registered in the apartment. The apartment was purchased after marriage. The Husband has HIS son. The Wife has HER two daughters. There are no joint children. What right after the death of the Wife have the daughters of the Wife to this apartment?

Anna, Moscow

They are the heirs of 1/2 of the apartment.
Best regards, Natalia.

Hello! My husband and I lived for 9 years, we have a joint child, he is 8 years old. I want to file for divorce with the division of property. They bought together in marriage: a car, a boat and a summer house, everything is registered in his name. The husband threatens that he will resell everything or rewrite everything on his acquaintances. Can he do this without my consent?

Artem, St. Petersburg

Dacha as real estate can be alienated only with your notarized consent (clause 3, article 35 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation). The car and the boat can be alienated by him without such consent, in this case it is assumed that the spouse making the transaction acts with the consent of the other spouse (clause 2, article 35 of the RF IC). Therefore, when filing a claim for the division of jointly acquired property, attach to the statement of claim a petition for seizure of this property in order to secure the claim.
Sincerely, A.D. Ruslin.

Hello. I got divorced in January 2009 and to this day I regularly pay alimony. The ex-wife already in March 2009 remarried and continues to live in a new marriage. Is it possible to terminate my alimony obligations in accordance with the Family Code of the Russian Federation, Article 120, which says the payment of alimony is terminated when a needy disabled ex-spouse (recipient of alimony) enters a new marriage.

Elizabeth, St. Petersburg

Alexander, hello! If you mean that you pay alimony to your ex-wife herself, as a needy disabled person, then you need to go to court, prove that your ex-wife is not in need of alimony, then you will be "removed" from the obligation to pay her alimony. If you pay alimony for joint children, you will pay them until the children reach the age of majority.

How to end co-sleeping? We do not get enough sleep due to the fact that the baby sleeps with us. I wonder how other parents managed to move the child to their own crib? - this question sooner or later arises before every married couple who allowed a newborn into their bed. The mothers of "Littlevan" talked about their successful and not very successful experiences, and psychologist Irina Mlodik commented on their stories.

“A sleeping child is a good opportunity to avoid any assault and develop sexual contact”

Bratislava: “A child who has moved into his bed regularly returns to us. And I remember myself running to sleep “under the wing” with my parents until the end of elementary school. And as soon as my sister was born, I started a new wave of rushes. By the way, she is now 17 years old, and she still comes to her mother to lie down and hug. And I understand that the example of parents lays down the attitude towards the end of co-sleeping. In our family, it never ends, for example, and everyone loves it!”.

Alexandra: “My daughter is almost six. She sleeps with me and I don't consider it a defeat. My husband and I are so comfortable and enjoy it. She is warm and smells sweet. And in general, I wait with horror for Masha to kick me out. She somehow suddenly said - I will sleep alone, go to dad, and I was upset. And I'm 40 in a year. And I still like to crawl to my mother's side when possible. And sleep, yes.

Katya: “When I get upset that I suffered another defeat at the end of co-sleeping with children, I console myself with the fact that I slept with my parents almost before marriage. At the age of 10, I read about aliens, and there was no longer any talk of sleeping in a separate bed.

Irina Mlodik: “These three stories are, of course, amazing. Physically sleeping with children is probably nice. They are "warm and sweet smelling", but psychologically this is very wrong. It is believed that the parental bed is primarily a matrimonial bed, a place where adults have sex at night. In addition, the parental bedroom, always open to the child, is a risk of witnessing sexual scenes. Of course, in the case when there are difficulties in a couple, a sleeping child is a good opportunity to avoid any encroachment and develop sexual contact. It is important to understand that the experience and discovery of one's own sexuality wakes up early in children. The parental body sleeping nearby can overstimulate the child, give birth to erotic impulses in him, but at the same time with a taboo on incest, a suppressed sense of shame and guilt for his own desires. And then you won’t even notice, you won’t track how, when and what effect co-sleeping will have, such an overstimulation on his relationship with the body and his own sexuality.

“It is important to support the child in the process of growing up”

Irina Mlodik: “This is a very real and even useful idea. It is important to support the child in the process of growing up. He can himself! He now has his own bed. Like your own house. A space that a child can arrange to his liking, put some favorite soft toys next to him, arrange a mink, a cave, a den there. A bunk bed is often liked by children. They want to be like their elders, as independent and able to cope.”

"Mommy needs their bodies to sleep peacefully"

Alina: “The sons slept separately already. But after the divorce (they were 3 and 5 years old at that time), I returned to co-sleeping for about a year. I think that I needed him then even more than the children. A year later, when this need disappeared from me, the children calmly moved to their beds.

Irina Mlodik: “It is not uncommon for a mother to sleep with her children because she needs it, not them. But most often, this is not as well-recognized adult need as Alina's. You can understand mom, but there are serious doubts about the benefits of this event for children for the reasons listed above. A child at the age of five, especially a boy, already has a distinct attraction to his mother. Quite erotic. How is he with his mother? Yes, it can be great. Only then what should he do with the strongest emerging contradiction inside: when he wants, but there is something very wrong in this. In addition, especially after a divorce, a woman has a subconscious desire to replace her departed husband with someone. The risks of involving sons in emotional incest are already quite high in this case, and co-sleeping only strengthens this. In addition, children may feel physically used. After all, mom needs their bodies to sleep peacefully. I am very glad that Alina found the strength to resettle the children. I hope that she managed to find a new partner, and then the children will be just children, with their own needs, needs and desires.

"Our task is to help the child cope with night terrors, and not to strengthen his infantilism"

Irina: “The daughter moved into her bed when I was pregnant with my son. She just turned three years old. Since then, he has been sleeping only in his bed, and even if in the evening, cuddling with his parents, he feels that he is falling asleep with us, he crawls with his last strength into “his house”. Son is 7 soon. Argues his place in the marital bed very clearly: "Men go to sleep in their bed when they turn 10!".

Olya: “It was unrealistic to teach the eldest son to sleep in his bed. They tried everything, but without much success. Until he went to school, he did not move to his bed. But the youngest from birth sleeps where you put it! And as soon as I decided that it was time to end the joint dream with him, he had no questions at all, he agreed to sleep in his bed.

Olga: “At the age of 3, my eldest son and I went and bought him a separate bed - he chose it himself! But at the same time, until the age of 12, he periodically asked me to lie down with him at night. And when I asked him "Why?" at the age of 8, he said: "I must get used to sleeping with a woman!" I explained that when the time came, he would learn on his own, and I would just sit next to the bed and support him. We agreed on that!”

Alice: “Not easy and not fast, but we managed to finish a joint dream with our son. At the age of 8, he agreed that he was an adult and it was time to sleep in his bed. But until 14 he fell asleep only with a night light, admitting that he was frightened by the huge universe.

Irina Mlodik: “These stories are about what children are sometimes afraid of. Of course, the night is a time of fears, and dealing with them alone can be difficult. Hiding in the parents' bed seems like an option for the kids. Mom or dad as the "ultimate savior" will save from everything. But in fact, our task is to help the child cope with night terrors, and not to strengthen his infantilism and dependence. A good option, if he came to you at night, take him to his bedroom or bed, turn on the night light, hold the handle. In extreme cases, you can lie down a little next to the blanket. You can pick up or buy him a soft toy - a savior from nightmares. Children have a well-developed imagination, they themselves can choose the one who can save them. For example, this is a bear. It helps to cope with night terrors, and your child saves the bear from what he is afraid of. This way he feels strong and protected at the same time. It is important to teach children to cope on their own, especially if you are around. But in his space, in his bed.”

Read also

childhood depression

It is customary to talk about depression in relation to adults, however, this phenomenon is very common in childhood. About how this condition manifests itself in children and for what reasons it occurs, read on...

Unfortunately, there are a very large number of families where spouses start whole domestic wars on the basis of the fact that the child sleeps in the parent's bed, and this greatly interferes with their sexual relations. Although in fact, if the parents really mutually want sexual relations, then, as a rule, they find another place besides the matrimonial bed, occupied by a sleeping child. There are a lot of opportunities for parents to be alone, even in cramped living conditions, there would be a desire.

In any business, it is important that a person wants to do something - this is the main key to success. Only with sexual relations it is more and more difficult, since two people must have a desire to have sexual relations, otherwise nothing will work out or it will turn out so that later you don’t want to anymore. It is often very difficult to refuse an “open” spouse (or wife): you don’t want to offend, or it’s scary to spoil the relationship, there’s no way to honestly say what exactly you don’t like or what you don’t want right now.

For example, often breastfeeding women have reduced sexual desire, and this is a normal hormonal phenomenon. But a woman (or her husband) in such situations, as a rule, thinks that the decrease in the desire to have sexual relations is due to the fact that “love has ended”, the former feelings for each other have faded. And for the time being, for the time being, each of the spouses prefers not to “tell” this “terrible guess” even to himself. But it is necessary, nevertheless, to find some valid, not so “terrible” reason for the absence or very small amount of sex in married life. And such a reason is often assigned the presence of a child in the parent's bed.

Indeed, it looks like a very good reason to refuse sex. “No, honey, not now, well, you see, our baby is sleeping here.” And you don't have to find out. You can continue to live: “We have not stopped loving each other. We just have a baby sleeping in the bed. As soon as he stops sleeping in it, everything will be fine right away. We will throw ourselves into each other's arms and become happy. And a long campaign begins to evict the baby from the parental bed. Family happiness and, ultimately, the well-being of everyone begins to depend on the success and timing of its completion.

Thus, we see that the influence of a child sleeping in the parental bed on the quality of marital relations is a myth, a screen covering difficult places in parental relationships. With this kind of difficulties, you can turn to a family psychologist, and perhaps a few meetings with one or both spouses will be enough for you to have the strength to talk and stop fighting with the baby for the territory of the bed.

Every mother wants the best for her baby... And she chooses a beautiful bed, decorates it with a canopy... But does her baby need this? Lying alone in a crib and snuggling up to a teddy bear? And who else can you cuddle up at night, because mom is not around. “... The bear is needed in order to provide the child with the constant presence of a close creature. Gradually forming strong attachment to a toy, adults tend to consider it more like a naive childhood whim, and not a sign of lack of attention of a child who is forced to stick to an inanimate piece of matter that replaces his closest person - his mother (Jean Ledloff, "How to raise a child happy. The principle of continuity ").

Forget beds! The child can and should be put to bed with the parents (mother). Co-sleeping is the most physiological and natural. We can most clearly see the naturalness of co-sleeping in nature, yes, yes, on the most ordinary little animals. Fortunately, animals perfectly feel the instinctive needs of their babies and, moreover, do not hide their actions behind all sorts of logical explanations. Look, in nature, not a single animal lays its cub anywhere, he sleeps, buried in his mother, and sucks her milk. Because it is natural, because nature is wise. Why did man create such an absurd structure as a crib? For what?

Scientific studies have long proven the need for co-sleeping. Take, for example, the research of William and Martha Serz, parents of eight children, pediatricians with 20 years of experience, authors of the well-known book Your Baby: Everything You Need to Know About Your Child from Birth to Two Years. Back in 1992, Dr. Sears made observations. A somatically healthy child (Lauren's own daughter, age 3 months) was hung with sensors and put to sleep in her crib. They took (breast) for feeding, soothed and again laid in bed. There were 53 cases of respiratory and heart rhythm failures in 6 hours outside the period of contact with the mother (and more than 150 episodes of a drop in blood oxygen levels). Potentially, in a weakened child, they could be dangerous or simply aggravated. The next night's sleep was with my mother in bed. ZERO failures. Blamed it on a hardware error. The next night "in half": 3 hours in bed, then the father shifted the mother's daughter. While the child was sleeping a meter away from the mother, the registration of failures was clear (28 registered anomalies). After 15 minutes of being in the mother's bed - ZERO. Perfect heart rate, perfect breathing. In addition, cases of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome - the sudden death of an infant, which cannot be explained either by its previous condition, or by subsequent autopsy, or by inspection of the scene, as a rule, occurs in a dream) mainly occur in children sleeping separately from their mother - in cribs or strollers. With children sleeping with their mother, SIDS almost never happens.

Author of the book How to Raise a Happy Child. The principle of continuity” Jean Ledloff spent two and a half years in the depths of the jungles of Latin America, along with the Indians of the Yekuana tribe. So, in this tribe, such cases never happen, because the children always sleep with their mother, and during the day they are often carried in their arms. SIDS is a disease of civilization and separate sleep. Feeling the mother close during sleep gives the child the necessary sense of security, comfort and confidence in the world around him and provides him with a healthy sleep.

Another "indispensable" attribute of motherhood - sleepless nights, as a rule, is not at all familiar to mothers who sleep with their children. Joint sleep satisfies both the mental and physiological needs of the child - for food (after all, you can feed in a dream, without waking up either mother or child), in mother's touches, and therefore such a child sleeps much calmer. A child sleeping with parents is easily included in their life rhythm, so there is no need for various rituals of putting the baby to sleep, for example, long motion sickness, etc.

There are many myths and many prejudices about co-sleeping. Many are afraid that they can crush the child during sleep. Surely caring girlfriends or grandmothers have already told you some scary story about how a mother can crush her baby while sleeping together. Many mothers, frightened by such stories, significantly burden their lives with endless nightly getting up to feed the baby. Instinctively, they are drawn to put a child to themselves, many sleep very restlessly, constantly checking how the baby sleeps alone in the crib.

But let's try to find the roots of the story of mothers "crushing" their children's breasts!

Consider medieval Europe. Overcrowded cities, most live in poverty ... Families are large and continue to grow. Infant and child mortality is very high. For example, in Sweden, up to 20% of babies died. Although most of the deaths were due to birth complications and diseases (given the general unsanitary state in which people lived), a proportion of children died from "accidents" while sleeping with their parents. Such situations were called "crushing", and there were so many of them that most of the European countries from the 16th to the 18th centuries passed laws forbidding children to sleep with their parents.

In effect, these laws were intended to prevent infanticide. When there are a lot of children in the family, and it becomes more and more difficult to feed them with the advent of each new baby, it is very easy to "accidentally" strangle a newborn. (This version of the story has the following source: Neredith F. Small. Our Babies, Ouselves. How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent. New York: Anchor Books, 1998. Special thanks to Natalia Wilson for information about this source.) Another source ( link, unfortunately, not found) describes the version that such a deliberate killing of their children was recognized by mothers at confession to priests, and in order to hide such confessions, rumors began to spread that "the child was accidentally crushed in a dream." It was these confessions that were the real basis for the adoption of the laws described above.

The current situation is such that there is no proven case of ACCIDENTAL suffocation by a mother of her child at the breast during sleep if the following conditions are met:

Mom is not under any kind of intoxication (narcotic, alcoholic and other intoxication);
Mom is mentally healthy;
Mom deliberately goes to sleep together (and did not fall asleep, completely exhausted, accidentally and for the first time next to the child, which indicates a high level of stress and fatigue);
Under these conditions, it is impossible to crush a child with a breast, the baby’s snub nose also contributes to preventing this (the wings of the nose in babies are arranged in such a way that no matter how their mother’s breasts fall on them, the nose will still have air access), and the corresponding maternal hormones (by nature a nursing mother is not designed for deep, unresponsive sleep; it is typical for her to sleep very sensitively, even if the nature of sleep was different before the birth of the child).

It is natural for a mother and child to sleep together (and even the sleep of many fathers becomes more sensitive when a baby appears in the family), their hormonal and other physiological processes are designed just for this ... If parents fail to organize a calm and comfortable family sleep together, then perhaps , they should talk to more successful moms and dads in this regard, since it becomes only a matter of experience.

The myth of the Middle Ages is supported at the moment for various reasons - social, political and emotional (for example, because of the fear of promiscuity between fathers and daughters, protecting the sanctity of the "romantic" union of husband and wife, which is interfered with by children, etc.). Modern statistics show that only mothers who are in a state of alcohol or drug intoxication can crush a child during sleep. With the birth of a child, a mother's sleep becomes very sensitive, and it cannot be otherwise - nature has taken care of all her pets, including a person, giving him this amazing opportunity to sleep with her babies. Listen to what mothers who sleep with their babies say: “Sleeping with a baby is wonderful and convenient”, “I also put my son in my crib for the first six months and jumped up to him every two hours ... Then they began to sleep together, and it’s so great I immediately became”, “I don’t know why, but 9 years ago, when Lucy was born and there were no smart books, I still began to sleep with her, intuitively feeling that it was better for everyone.”

Another fear is that a child sleeping with their parents will deprive them of their privacy. Here I would like to advise you to remember your youth, apply your imagination and not limit yourself to one bed. If your apartment / house has more than one room, then there are no difficulties at all. Yes, and dad, if he is not completely selfish, would prefer to see a contented mother getting enough sleep, and not a half-asleep creature dreaming of only one thing - sleep!

Many are afraid that a child sleeping with their parents will forever settle in their parents' bed. But think about it, co-sleeping is a normal physiological need for a baby, and like any need, once satisfied, it goes away on its own. In the case of co-sleeping, this usually happens between the ages of 3 and 6. And vice versa, there are many examples when a child who has not slept with his parents suddenly begins to come and ask for his parents' bed. But this is nothing more than a manifestation of the baby's need for joint sleep.

Co-sleeping allows the mother to get enough sleep, promotes the production of breast milk and helps to plant the baby to pee at night. And in the daytime, a crib is not the most convenient place to put a sleeping child (firstly, because of the high sides, and secondly, many children wake up immediately, one has only to shift them from their hands to the crib). But during the day it is very convenient to lie down on a large bed / sofa with the little one, give the breast and leave the sleeping baby to sleep there.

Elena | 02/15/2011

I have a daughter up to 3 months. slept in her crib for the first half of the night, then I took her to me, because. it was more convenient to feed lying down - the back did not get tired. And from 3 months. she won't let me put her in the crib in the evening, and so they began to sleep together. The bed is not wide, so dad prefers to run to another room))) Otherwise, he does not get enough sleep. And I don’t get enough sleep if all three of us sleep on the bed, and if we are alone with my daughter, then everything is in order. As for marital debt, the opportunity can be found, if there is a desire))) But in the afternoon it became scary to leave the daughter to sleep on the big bed. We recently fell off it (we are 5.5 months old). Then she really was awake, lying far from the edge. I turned away for a second to lay a sheet in her bed, I didn’t even have time to do it - “slap” and scream ... She can wake up after sleep and not immediately call, but start messing around and dive again. So we manage during the day with a crib or a stroller when we walk)))

Ludmila | 04.11.2010

Yes, a wonderful article) I can only join. we ourselves practice only joint sleep and from experience I can say that my son always sleeps soundly all night, waking up occasionally only for feeding. we sleep with a mouse in our mouth, and at the beginning, when the baby ate often, I, at times, could not even tell how many times he ate in the end. the nature of sleep actually changes: even if the child's breathing changed or he began to grunt a little in a dream, I immediately woke up. our dad also began to sleep much more sensitively, although before he could calmly fall apart on the bed in a dream. as a result, we all get enough sleep and smile at each other in the morning) when I went to courses for pregnant women, they offered the following solution for especially timid mothers: put (if the bed of course allows) between mom and dad a box with low sides, in which there will be sleep baby. the box will not let you or dad fall apart freely, the child is nearby and can easily be shifted under the barrel when he wakes up to eat.

Ludmila | 04.11.2010

irina | 08/11/2010

everything is correctly stated, if a woman’s maternal instinct is strong, then it’s a pleasure to be with her child, and sleeping next to a baby who warms and puts legs on you is just happiness ...

irik | 01/19/2010

Olesya, you can protect the baby on a large bed by substituting chairs, other furniture, screwing on a removable side, making rollers ... I myself laid the children with their heads against the wall (the bed was against the wall), in addition, the apartment is small, and the bed was visible to me and from the kitchen, and from another room. Now (they are already sleeping separately) if I am afraid that my son will fall off in a dream, I put a gymnastic mat from the sports complex on the floor. And it is already possible to teach a baby to crawl off a sofa, a bed at this age. We will try to write an article in the near future on how to do this.

Shevchenko Olesya | 01/16/2010 Enter the code you see in the picture: - a specialist in the field of psychology, engaged in the scientific study of the human psyche. A clinical psychologist (or clinical psychologist) has specialized training in diagnosing and treating...

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