New Year's statuses are beautiful. New Year is a time of fairy tales and magic

You can attract attention to your person on social networks different ways. But there is an option that can definitely be considered a win-win. By setting cool and funny New Year statuses for Contact or Odnoklassniki, you will not only add likes and subscribers to yourself, congratulating the virtual community on the holiday in an original way, but also, most likely, you will find new interesting acquaintances.

Cool statuses for guys and men

Good Grandfather Frost, give me the first payment. Santa Claus, besides laughing, pay off my mortgage.

A New Year tree is better than any mistress. You change every year, you break up without a scandal. And she doesn’t demand her gifts back!

New Year is such an amazing time when you eat Olivier salad, tangerines, champagne and hopes that tomorrow morning this champagne and other alcoholic reserves will still be left.

It's time to stop with Olivier and tangerines. After all, what the excess cholesterol and sugar in fruits can do to people in just one night.

It’s a difficult task to prove to your children that you are the real Santa Claus and to convince your wife that you can’t even act as a fake.

Answer the question “What is good and what is bad?” It's difficult on New Year's Day. I did everything well: I went for a walk, I drank, I fell asleep under the Christmas tree—it’s bad the next day. And if January 1 is good, it means that the New Year was celebrated very badly.

Grandfather Frost, give me a carefree life for the New Year, universal adoration, the opportunity to lie on the couch and receive everything on demand. In short, turn me into a cat.

A man goes through three stages of attitude towards Santa Claus: you believe and wait; I don’t need a grandfather, I want the Snow Maiden; You yourself are Father Frost and you advise the Snow Maiden to roll up her lip.

New Year's to-do list: spend Old year; celebrate New Year; meet Old New Year. Vicious circle something works out.

You need to prepare for the New Year in advance. Right on January 1st, put up the Christmas tree that was dropped yesterday and start rehearsing the holiday.

Every year on this day they ask me: “Why are you so sour, like the missing Olivier? Where is yours Christmas mood? It’s time to understand that this is... Mine. !

Childhood is over - this is when on New Year's Day you and your friends begin to dance not around the Christmas tree, but around the toilet. Combined, damn the builders, bathroom!

Four stages of a man growing up: 1. You believe in Santa Claus. 2. You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3. You are Santa Claus yourself. 4. Those who still believe in Santa Claus run up to you on the street, pull your beard and yell: “I knew you existed!

With the advent of the New Year, sellers of men's socks and shaving foam begin to rub their hands joyfully, while unfortunate guys rush around the city in search of “give me something, I don’t know what.”

New Year is a difficult time for a man. He is trying to convince his child that he is Santa Claus, and his wife that he is NOT Santa Claus.

I want to have almost everything in the New Year, as Anton Semenovich Shpak dreamed: three music centers, three fancy laptops, three latest model iPhones, a suede jacket... also three.

Someday Santa Claus will give me a toy railroad, I will set the status to “happy” and will never go online again.

The approach of the New Year is felt when tangerine skins begin to appear here and there on your computer desk, mixed with beer mugs and glasses of unfinished tea.

New Year's paradox: the treats and drinks on the table are always the same, but the adventures after them are different.

Funny New Year statuses for girls

Dear Grandfather Frost. Please make sure that in the coming year, my neighbors, who have a 24-hour love for music and repairs, suddenly have all their karaoke and rotary hammers broken.

Do you know why Father Frost and Santa Claus are men? Yes, because no woman will allow herself to appear in front of the public in the same outfit every holiday!

Today in my refrigerator there is “don’t eat, it’s for the New Year,” and tomorrow there will be “eat quickly, otherwise everything will go bad.”

I am for sharing responsibilities in the family! I will decorate the Christmas tree for the New Year, and you will decorate me!

Sign of our times: delivered for the New Year funny status– you will soon meet the man of your dreams, who will say that all his life he has been looking for a girl who does NOT believe in omens, but has a sense of humor.

If you want everything to be awesome for you in the New Year, on the night of January 1st, put an unwrapped chocolate bar under your pillow. Now you will definitely have everything covered in chocolate!

I tell my friend: “Darling, give me one like this.” New Year's gift to be remembered." He answers: “Are sclerosis pills suitable?”...

I'll start the New Year's diet soon! I will give up sweets and switch to dry and semi-dry.

As a child, on New Year's Eve we waited for Santa Claus to come. And our children are waiting for mom and dad to finally go away for a visit.

I love New Year because I can take a break from the stove. First, a holiday dinner magically turns into a brunch, and then gradually turns into a long lunch.

Santa Claus, buy me new iPhone, tablet, red Ferrari, house in the Maldives... Oh, that's it. Buy me some money, in short, and then I’ll figure it out myself.

I told my husband that I would really like a fur coat for the New Year. Gave... Potatoes, carrots, onions, beets, herring.

Guys absolutely don't like gifts. The ultimate dream for them for the New Year is the Snow Maiden in a latex suit, and not the role of a generous Santa Claus with a bag.

I'll give it to good hands Santa Claus. The third day she sleeps under the Christmas tree, mistakes me for the Snow Maiden and demands to tell me where she has been. I don’t remember where I was, I was celebrating the New Year!

A Christmas tree was born in the forest, grew and grew. Oh, if only the Snow Maiden would bring me a boyfriend! And Santa Claus, so be it, let him give you a pretty Pig who grants wishes.

I sent out a commercial offer to everyone - Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Joulupukki. But no one wants to take my extra pounds and give them to those in need.

Grandfather Frost, you probably left on foot last time, because all year I came across only deer. I beg you, this time leave by cart.

Guys always get the best, not even the New Year. The Snow Maiden is young and beautiful, and Father Frost is old, with a beard and a red nose, which makes you think about his way of life.

We present to your attention a selection of the best statuses for the New Year 2016. They will perfectly decorate your page on Odnoklassniki, VKontakte or other social networks.

Funny and cool statuses

Those who don’t smoke or drink will remember the New Year! And whoever drinks and smokes will amuse them all!

Prepared for the New Year - now the wallet is as old Italian tradition can be thrown away.

I won’t blush for the New Year -

I'll get drunk and forget everything.

I wonder if anyone has ever congratulated all their friends on Odnoklassniki on the New Year with a personal greeting?

How you celebrate the New Year is how you will spend it. This means that everything will be OK for me in the New Year, I will celebrate it on Odnoklassniki.

I love winter for the New Year,

For Christmas trees and snowflakes,

For what everyone will pour for me

And he will give you a tangerine.

Many envy the work of Santa Claus - once a year. Don't you think about how much time he spends choosing gifts? I chose only my wife for a month!

Statuses about the Monkey - the symbol of 2016

For rent on New Year's Eve mother-in-law as a symbol of the New Year. When ordering for the whole night - champagne as a gift.

Don't look at the face

Look into your soul

Monkeys too

I want love.

Three monkeys decided

Give up evil as soon as possible,

And they just covered it with their paws

Faces from mouth to ears:

I don’t see, I don’t hear, and I don’t even

I won't tell anyone anything.

Why is the Internet so corrupted?

Let's resist evil.

I want to live where it’s always warm, eat exotic fruits, do nothing and don’t worry about unshaven legs. If it was the genes of my ancestors that spoke to me, then we really descended from a monkey.

The wife showed New Year's menu: bananas baked with chicken, “Jolly kebabs” in banana syrup, “Banana Paradise” salad, chocolate-covered bananas, coconut-coated bananas, apple-banana juice. I’m sitting here and thinking: Why did I bring three bags of potatoes to my mother-in-law’s dacha?

I'm waiting very passionately

Year of the Red Monkey.

Statuses for the New Year 2016 with wishes and congratulations:

For the New Year, all I need to be happy is snow and my loved one nearby.

I wish everyone to celebrate the Year of the Fire Monkey with a sparkle.

Let the Goats pass away -

This is my wish for the New Year,

Away with tediousness and boring days,

The monkey is calling for a holiday.

I’m very happy to congratulate everyone

Happy Year of the Monkey,

May all wars stop

And the desired peace will come!

With all my heart I wish everyone,

May the New Year be without problems.

Never celebrate the New Year alone, otherwise who will tell you later how you celebrated it.

Happy New Year is not a Christmas tree, not gifts, not a treat, it is when the whole family is together. Good luck to everyone!

Especially for site users website we have prepared the best New Year statuses of 2014. Decorate your pages with them on New Year's Eve social networks- VKontakte, Odnoklassniki, Facebook and Twitter.

1. Grandfather Frost, last New Year I asked you for a boyfriend. So, take this goat back and give us some markers.

2. New Year - tangerine in my mouth,
Santa Claus - Olivier on my nose.
We'll watch the appeal on TV
and let's go look for adventures!

3. New Year 2014 is the year of the Snake. Let it bring joy, smiles, and fun, and let someone have a housewarming, rejoice, dance, sing, don’t bother the police department! There will be a new New Year without hassle and without worries. There will be only love and happiness, and champagne flowing. Just be more careful with your own firecracker!

4. I’ll make a wish on New Year’s Day that the neighbors’ karaoke will break on that very night!

5. It’s almost time to celebrate the New Year, but I still haven’t figured out where I’ll celebrate the night from December 31st to at least January 7th.

6. On New Year's Eve, there must be one non-drinker in the company, so that the next day you can tell everyone what happened.

7. I want so much, like in childhood, to believe in New Year's tale, make a wish with the hope that it will come true and wait for a miracle on New Year's Eve.

8. The student has two holidays: New Year and every day!

9. Today is New Year?! Then another two hundred.

10. Youth is when you no longer believe that Santa Claus will come to you for the New Year, but you still hope that the Snow Maiden will come to you.

11. Santa Claus, Santa Claus, give me a new brain! Yellowpooks, Yellowpooks, get your hands off my ass.

12. Santa Claus! Give me something that, when I see it, I would say, “Wow, Mercedes.”

13. Modern children wait not for Santa Claus to come, but for their parents to leave.

14. Hello Dedushka Moroz! Perhaps I misspelled the word Porsche last year.

15. New Year in Russian: children dance around the Christmas tree, adults - near the toilet.

16. Hello Grandfather Frost, cotton wool beard, give me a BMW X5 for the New Year!

18. If in the midst of the New Year celebrations, Santa Claus swoops in, stuffs you into a sack and carries you away, don’t panic, someone just ordered you as a gift.

19. I appeal to everyone who wished me happiness and health for the New Year 2014. Nothing came true, so wish for something else!

20. January 1 after the New Year, in the store: - Hello, Is your bread fresh? -No, last year.

21. Grandfather Frost, please help me pass the exam!

22. Dear Grandfather Frost, this letter is not spam, but a real opportunity to make money...

23. Hello Dedushka Moroz! I'll break your nose! Your gifts have already given me diarrhea for the fifth day...

24. She is like a little girl waiting for the New Year, snow and your call.

The main problem of the New Year is that food is no longer available!

The only thing better than a mistress is a Christmas tree. Meek, silent. You dress her up in whatever you have to - she remains silent. You undress - not a word!

Alcohol, Olivier salad. Yes, everything was fine... The next morning there were shouts, “give me a basin urgently!”

The first of January is not a new day of the new year. It's one continuous morning.

On New Year's Eve, you become a real man when you dance around the toilet with your friends.

Appeal of civil servants to Santa Claus. Dear Grandfather Frost with a beard made of white cotton wool, we don’t need gifts, increase your salary!

A drunk man climbed onto the New Year tree and began to wait for who would need such a gift!

A week before the New Year, cockroaches do not appear in the kitchen. They are preparing a New Year's surprise.

A woman's dream. I want a man to shower me with gifts, and I will read him a poem with all my passion, affection and tenderness.....

I would like the New Year 2016 to be without war!

Miracles, and that’s all: every year the same dishes are on the table, but the adventures are different.

Maintain proportions. Remember that on New Year's Eve the human body should consist of 80% alcohol and 20% Olivier!

Many people on January 1st are waiting with horror for the second coming on the 13th; some are afraid of the celebration of the holiday according to the Chinese calendar. It all depends on how strong you are.

New Year is like instant sex, you spend a long time preparing for the sake of a second of pleasure.

Today our neighbor's cockroaches are visiting us, her husband's wife informed her. The neighbors went to Egypt for a week.

Expect children in September from the person you celebrated the New Year with...

Most women go on a diet on New Year's Eve, give up sweets and switch to semi-dry.

Sleep, sleep my friend. Nearby is Olivier and a mug.

A long-standing tradition. I quit drinking and smoking. Playing sports... terrible dream!

What should I give you? The newly-made husband had the imprudence to ask his wife. “It’s all the same,” the young woman answered. The main thing is that the fur is natural!

Statuses about 2016 year of the monkey

On this terrible New Year, Santa Claus will not bring you or me gifts. The monkey will take it - this is definitely its year.

Where will the monkey come to us from? From the cartoon about Mowgli, the optimist father answered his son.

Announcement. I rent roller skates to the monkey.

The year of the monkey 2016 is coming soon. Don't forget to congratulate your friend.

You can find a huge collection of statuses and quotes on the website deeplyrics.ru

New Year statuses for Odnoklassniki 2016

A schoolboy asks for Santa Claus. Dear “old man,” make sure in 2016 that children in class don’t tease me. Thank you in advance. Vova Poop.

How many battles do you have in the game “Tanks,” the little boy asked Santa Claus.

Technologies do not stand still. Rotating Christmas tree for lazy kids. What a joy!

Why celebrate the New Year 2016, asked the smart girl. He will come to us himself.

What to strive for. One boy as a child, on New Year's Eve, fell asleep with an unwrapped chocolate bar. Now he has “everything in chocolate”!

What should I give you for New Year, the mother asked her daughter. Give whatever you want, she answered. The main thing is touchscreen with headphones.

Childhood is when you are waiting for a holiday, and ten minutes before it starts you pass out.

On the Internet, the New Year is not celebrated, but updated!

Friends! The New Year 2016 is just around the corner, statuses will help us meet it with optimism. Maybe on this festive night you will get your rightful soul mate... Olivier salad!!!

Finally the long-awaited time has come for the tangerine smell, discharged Christmas trees, excellent mood and new hopes for the future. In the chaos of the New Year's holidays, it is very important not to forget anything and have time to congratulate everyone. They will help you with this statuses about New Year, collected on our page. It is no secret that many users of social networks have dozens, or even hundreds of friends and acquaintances among their friends, each of whom they would like to, but do not have time to congratulate. However, you can do this by setting the status on your page in the form New Year's greetings. Now everyone who visits it will read it and smile, accepting your sweet congratulations on the upcoming New Year. What can we offer you?

New Year statuses

Here you will find a selection of the best New Year's statuses:

• funny and romantic;
• O To Grandfather Frost and about Snow Maiden;
• short and long;
• in poetry and prose;
• about the New Year and Christmas;
• universal and specifically about the year of the Snake;
• clever aphorisms about the New Year and funny sayings about its celebration.

The choice is so wide that you can delight the guests of your page every day by constantly changing the statuses on it.

Winter statuses

Wishes in verses

What could be more wonderful than New Year's greetings in verse? Easy to read, uplifting, and most importantly – there’s so much you could wish for! On our page you will find both romantic and funny New Year poems, which can be set as a status or simply left on a friend’s page as a congratulation.

Features of our site

We would like to note that everything on our website is created for the comfort and convenience of users.

• Would you like to add your favorite quote to our page that is not in our collection? We will be happy to decorate our section with it.
• Did you especially like the funny status about snowman? You can vote for it and increase its ranking in the list of other phrases.
• I wanted to leave a comment on cool quote O snowflake? And this can be done easily and simply with us.
• Lost in the variety of statuses and don’t know what to choose? Make your search easier: you have the opportunity to choose the best statuses about winter behind certain time(for example, a week or a month).

We want to give all users of social networks who have become guests of our website a great mood and the brightest, most colorful pages during these New Year holidays. Original winter quotes and cheerful New Year's greetings, chosen by you on our website, will become a real festive decoration for your page on any network. We hasten to congratulate everyone on the upcoming New Year!