So that the child does not bite. Physiological point of view

In kindergarten in each group there is often a child who bites his peers. This behavior of the baby is unpleasant for everyone: the victim, the parents of both sides, the teacher and the “bite” itself. Naturally, the mother immediately asks the questions: why does the child bite children in the kindergarten? What to do? Let's try to figure out why such situations arise, how to respond to them and whether they can be prevented.

The first actions of parents after the incident

After the parents found out that their child has bitten a peer in kindergarten, the first thing to do is:

Why is the child biting?

If the child began to use his teeth after he began to attend kindergarten, then this could be simply a contagious example. Even a baby who is not characteristic of the manifestation of aggression can fall under the influence of the majority and begin to perform such actions so as not to stand out. Self-confident children, praised by their parents, most often in such a situation will not succumb to the influence of the team.

The main reasons for the appearance of this bad habit in a child are described in detail below, and ways to solve the problems that arose in connection with this are given.

The first reason. Evidence of significance

Often, a child begins to bite only in order to prove his worth and gain credibility in the team. In this way he wants to achieve the subordination of the surrounding pupils of the group and the ability to control their actions. The first reason why a child bites children in a kindergarten is indicated. How to act in this case?

The main thing is to teach the child to express his desires not with the help of bites, but with words. It is possible to explain to the kid that it would be insulting and painful to bite, it is possible with the help of games, where he must participate in the situation first as a “bite”, and then as a victim. During this entertainment, you need to show that simple phrases like “I do not want”, “I am angry” or “I do not like it” work much more effectively than bites.

The second reason. Sense of anxiety

A child can bite when he feels a sense of anxiety or discomfort from being in a particular place or environment. He is probably scared, or he feels defenseless. If a child bites children in the garden precisely for this reason, then to solve the problem, parents need to surround him with even more love and care, and the teacher will try to create a friendly atmosphere around the baby and, perhaps, give him a little more personal space. Kindergarten workers should help their ward find a corner where he will feel safe. If the baby goes to the garden recently, you need to give him time to adapt. Let him take with him in the group his favorite toy or other thing from home, which will give him a sense of confidence and calmness.

The third reason. Unspent energy

Sometimes it happens that the role of a “bite” is a hyperactive child. And he uses his teeth only because during the day he was not able to throw out enough energy.

When such a child bites children in kindergarten, what should the educator and parents do? Strictly observe the daily routine of the baby. Before lunch, he was recommended outdoor games and physical activity, for example, dancing, swimming, cycling. But the second half of the day is better to spend calmly, drawing, playing with the designer, sculpting from plasticine or reading books.

The fourth reason. Excessive emotionality

If a baby expresses positive emotions with the help of bites, then you need to offer him an alternative how to show your feelings in other ways - using kind words, hugs and kisses.

Another option is possible - when a child bites children due to surging aggression. How can I express it differently, the baby does not know yet. So he resorts to the use of teeth.

The fifth reason. Lack of attention

If the baby thinks that mom and dad are not paying him proper attention, he is looking for ways to fix it. In order to somehow catch the parents, the child bites the children in the garden.

What should adults do? You need to try to spend as much time as possible with the crumbs. Hug him, kiss, play together, read books and just chat. Soon, an invisible connection will be established between the parents and the child, his psychology will become more clear, and it will be possible to predict when and for what reason the baby can bite. It is at this moment that you need to shift his attention to something that distracts the child from the desire that arose to use his teeth.

What you need to do after the child bites, and what to do is not worth it

It is strictly forbidden to respond to the “bite” with aggression. You can’t shout or try to slap him, all the more you shouldn’t try to use your teeth to educate them either. Retaliatory aggression will not lead to a solution to the problem, but can only intimidate the child and give birth to complexes in it. The main thing that an adult should do is calmly and confidently explain to the crumb how he hurt his peer.

It is necessary to make it clear to the child that it is better to replace bites with the words “no”, “I do not like”, “I do not want”, “I am angry”. That using speech is more effective than using teeth. Playing such situations using dolls has a positive effect on the baby.

It happens that a child bites children to check others. He is curious about what reaction will follow, what is the limit of what is permitted, and what can get away with it. In this case, adults should make clear that this cannot be done. Parents need to explain: when you bite, you hurt. Hugging and kissing is much better.

If the child repents

It happens that a child bites children in a kindergarten not intentionally, but in a fit of emotion or because of fatigue. After that, he himself is frightened of his act and sincerely repents.

In this case, you do not need to report it. On the contrary, you should invite the child to ask for forgiveness from his peer, blow on the site of the bite, glue the adhesive, give him a toy. But this behavior of adults is supposed only in the case when for the baby this situation is really single and is not the norm of behavior.

How to wean a baby to bite?

The principles of ridding a child of a bad habit are as follows:

How does the baby throw out anger?

Anger is a natural emotion that has the same right to exist as others. Sometimes even adults who know how to control themselves experience this feeling. The difference between a baby and mom or dad is that parents know how to throw out anger without causing harm to others, and their offspring does not possess this skill. Why does a child bite children? Because angry. You need to teach him to get rid of this emotion with the help of inanimate objects. For example, you can beat a sofa cushion, tear an unnecessary piece of paper into small pieces, throw soft balls into a wall, mold it from plasticine and flatten its fist of anger with a fist, shout and roar loudly.

You can’t completely try to suppress the negative emotions of the baby, because later this can lead to visits to a child psychologist and a neuropathologist.

Prevention of bad habits

Why does a child bite children? Because his parents do not praise him. A timely approval word will prevent the desire to bite. It is necessary to praise the baby when his behavior meets your requests, for example, if he treats his peers, shares toys, considers the desires of others, and shows patience.

At the right time, hugging the child, you can help him associate his non-aggressive behavior with pleasant feelings. Soon, the crumb will understand that it is better to receive a positive reaction to their peace-loving behavior than a negative reaction to bitten peers.

In turn, parents and kindergarten workers should show the baby how to deal with anger and irritation with their own example.

A good method of prevention are role-playing games with a child. Here are a few topics for such psychological training:

A toy is taken from the child.
The kid was angry.
The baby was hit or called.
The child is scared.

The purpose of such classes is the opportunity to teach the baby to express emotions solely in words, without putting teeth in motion.

The teacher said that your child is biting children. What to do with this problem? Need to help the baby. First of all, you should try to figure out the reason why the baby has this bad habit. Further, the main task of the parents is to eliminate this factor that affects the behavior of the crumbs. Adults must be patient and show their wisdom in solving this problem. The main helpers in this will be attention, hugs and kisses. A self-confident child, who is often praised in the case, will not resolve issues by biting other children. And remember that love cannot be spoiled. Thanks to this article, you will definitely succeed in turning the evil “bite” into the best “kisser”.

The baby begins to learn the world "by the tooth." All toys, household items and even mother's fingers will visit the baby’s mouth until he learns in other ways to study the reality surrounding him. But it happens that the baby does not abandon his "bad" habit, even when he goes to kindergarten. How to wean a child to bite in such a situation?

When a baby bites

Infants tend to taste everything. This does not mean either the baby’s excessive anger or his nervous disorders. The most common causes of biting infants up to a year are given below.

Causes of Baby Bites

Children up to a year bite for a reason. There are many reasons why the baby tries not only edible things, but also inedible ones.

Teeth are cut - one of the most popular causes of bites in children under the age of one year.
Emotional discharge. Young children bite when they want to say something to an adult. In other words, in this way they express closeness to parents or, conversely, anger and irritation.
Lack of awareness that the bite hurts.
The baby wants to eat and therefore can bite her mother’s hands.

Analyze the above reasons. Do you pay enough attention to the baby? Do you always feed on time?

How to wean a child to bite up to a year?

No way! If the baby’s teeth are cut, then biting movements are the only way to scratch the swollen gums.

The only thing you can do in this case is to provide the crumbs up to a year with special items to ease discomfort:

a slice of carrot or apple;
nibbler with a slice of frozen banana;
hard bagel;
teether toy.

If the little one bites his mother’s breast during feeding, you can purchase special lining for the nipples or temporarily transfer the baby to feed from the bottle. However, the second option is undesirable, as it leads to negative consequences (getting used to the bottle, decreased lactation).

If the child just decided to bite your hand or shoulder, immediately strictly say “No!” and give your face a harsh expression. The kid must understand that you do not like this behavior.

The most important advice that can be given to mothers of biting babies: be patient! Time will pass, and the teeth will cease to deliver so much discomfort to the baby. Then the habit of taking everything in your mouth and chewing will disappear by itself.

If an “adult” child bites

It is worth noting that the “biting period” does not always go away with the discomfort caused by teething. Often, children begin to bite at 1.5-2 years and can continue to do this until the kindergarten - up to 3-4 years.

Of course, now the bites of the baby are not as harmless as in infancy. A mouth full of teeth and already quite strong jaws ... You will not envy the one in whom the baby decides to "stick his fangs."

Most often, the parents and peers of the child (for example, other children in kindergarten) become unhappy victims.

Causes of bites after a year

The reasons for this inadequate behavior of the child lie in his psychological state. Behind the bites, as a rule, hides children's self-doubt, fear, resentment, anger, a desire to isolate themselves from the world.

Most often, children begin to bite, in whose families there is no harmony between adults, conflicts and scandals are frequent, the father screams and even raises his hand to his mother. Of course, in all these cases, the consultation of an experienced psychologist is necessary.

However, relatively harmless factors may be to blame for this manifestation of feelings in a baby after a year:

the influence of other children in kindergarten;
mild excitability of the child;
lack of awareness that the bite hurts.

Weaning the little ones to bite in kindergarten is a must! Remember that behind this seemingly childish and even slightly funny fun is a serious danger. There were times when after a bite of a child had to suture.

If you notice such a “sinner” behind your baby, do not panic, keep calm and try to eliminate the trouble in a consistent manner.

Ask your caregiver if there are other children in the group with similar behavior. It is possible that your child fell under the bad influence of his comrades.
Find out when the baby begins to bite what happens before this event. Also try to remember when you first noticed this bad habit in a baby. Maybe in the life of the crumbs there was some turning point.
Talk to the child. Gently and unobtrusively find out the reason why he so often "shows his teeth."
Explain that he does bad, upsets you, that his behavior is not at all like the behavior of an "adult."
Teach your baby that a bite is not a way to express your feelings. If he wants to show love - let him kiss and hug, if he is angry - let him say in words that he is not happy.

A number of preventative measures can also be taken.

Record your child in the self-defense section, in the pool or on tennis - to any place where the baby can move enough and release the accumulated energy.
Create a favorable psychological atmosphere at home. The kid should not hear the abuse of parents and see quarrels and scandals. Remember that the child copies the behavior of adults and it depends only on you how he will behave in society.
Be gentle and affectionate with the baby. Say how much you love him, kiss and hug the child.

Conclusion

The question of how to wean a child to bite, quite often arises in families where the atmosphere is tense, there are frequent quarrels and there is no mutual understanding between parents. Try not to swear in the presence of the child, to be friendly and loving, and then the problem will disappear by itself.

Source: http://agushkin.ru/vospitanie/kak-otuchit-rebenka-kusatsya.html

Sometimes it happens that your child suddenly becomes bite. He grabs his mother’s hand with his teeth, tries to bite off his dad’s ear and, even on a teddy bear, hones his “toothy” skills. And if the bear doesn’t care that they are trying to gnaw out sawdust from it, then the baby’s parents do not need such biting problems: it’s painful, insulting, and even a little scary.

But what if, suddenly, it’s not mom or dad who is bitten, but a neighbor on the porch or a kid in kindergarten? Here and before the conflict of the “armed” is not far: quarrels, clarification of relations and, as a result, the search for a new kindergarten.

Why does a child bite? How to behave to parents if this happens to their baby? What mistakes can not be made in the process of learning? What to do if the baby not only bites, but also tweaks and even fights? We will try to answer these and other questions right now.

Why is the baby biting?

Bites at 6 months

the cause of “biting” the peanut is discomfort or pain caused by teething. Well, what else to scratch your gums, if not about your beloved mother? Of course, this is very painful, especially when it comes to breast bites during feeding.

What to do?

As an option - buy plastic nozzles that protect the breast from the baby’s teeth, but do not interfere with feeding. You can also smear the nipples with a special tool designed to alleviate the suffering of the baby while his teeth are growing.

You can also give your child an “assistant”: a slice of carrot or apple, a solid dryer or teether to sharpen his gums about them.

If the baby bit you “just like that”, make a serious face and show with your whole appearance how ugly it is. Finally, just bear with it a little, although it is incredibly difficult.

During this period, the baby bites when it is very excited: he is overwhelmed by the emotions that he puts into his bite (like his whole soul). Sometimes a child bites because he is simply scared or angry with you for some reason.

What to do?

Try to show the baby that you can’t do this, it hurts you very much and you are offended by it. He will certainly study the received “information” and draw the right conclusions.

Bites at 15-36 months

This time falls on the period of socialization of the child: the child goes to kindergarten, but instead of making friends with peers, begins to grind his grown teeth.

The reasons for biting behavior are caused by a simple desire to control the world around and subjugate those who “inhabit” it. This is also confirmed by the fact that the baby bites only peers, and does not touch relatives with the “tooth”.

Sometimes it is not only the influence of other children that is guilty of the fact that the child bites, but also a simple misunderstanding that it hurts someone.

What to do?

Explain to the child that no one will ever want to be friends with him, so angry and pugnacious.

Bites in three years and after

When an adult three-year-old child begins to bite, this indicates that he is scared or feels helpless. Example: two kids did not share a toy and one of them bit the opponent. It happened because he simply did not find another way to defend his opinion (or to defend himself if small fists were used).

What to do?

You can check the child with a doctor to exclude neurological diseases from the list of causes for “biting”.

It often happens that children who started biting at 2 years old continue to do this at 2.5 and even at 3. The problem is that now the bites of the baby are not so harmless, but already noticeably painful.

That is why experts advise parents of biting children to pay close attention to the behavior of the child and respond to it immediately.

Finding out the reasons

The first thing you should do is to understand why your child was attacked by “biting”. Ask the teacher if there are toothy children in your group, be sure to find out if something strange or bad is happening before your child bites someone.

Finally, try to remember when this happened to your child for the first time.

Intimate talk

Talk with the baby and find out why he "shows his teeth." Explain in colors and details that only small children behave this way, and adults - such as him - will never try to “eat” someone close to them. Let the child know that with bites he will not achieve anything good and all the more he will not solve problems.

Express feelings correctly

The kid must understand that expressing love, you need to hug someone to whom he experiences this tremulous feeling, and if he is overwhelmed with anger, let him talk about it directly.

Moving aggression

To wean a child from biting, you can write him to the pool or self-defense section. In general, there, where he will run a lot, jump, move and splash his overwhelming energy.

Be consistent

React to each recurring “incident” in the same way and then the child will learn the lesson, if not the second time, then from the fifth for sure. He will simply understand that if he continues to do so, his mother will certainly scold him.

Creating a Peaceful Environment

Fence off the child from quarrels and scandals, as psychologists say: biting children appear in families with an unfavorable emotional atmosphere. The kid should not see how adults find out the relationship - this will lead to the fact that he will copy this model of behavior and will achieve the desired in a similar way.

Tenderness and affection

Show more affection for the child and caress him, say that you love more than life and kiss with all your might. You will see that instead of biting, he will give you the same strong kisses and hot hugs.

What can not be done if the baby bites?

Bite back

To ensure that the baby stops biting with reciprocal “biting” - it even sounds strange, doesn't it?

Pay great attention to bites.

Sometimes, in order for the child to stop biting, you just need to not pay attention to it. It’s a paradox, but seeing that the “defense” is not bearing fruit, the baby just stops baring its teeth.

Wash your mouth with soap or beat on the lips.

Such inappropriate behavior of parents will only aggravate the situation: internal aggression will increase, and the baby will decide that you do not understand him.

The child plucks and fights: why?

Sometimes it happens that the baby “calls for help” not only his teeth, but also his hands: he actively begins to tweak and fight, causing his behavior to bewilderment and even fear among the people around him. The reasons for this aggression lie in the negative emotions overwhelming the child: jealousy, anger, irritation and resentment.

The kid cannot accumulate negativity in himself, and when he doesn’t succeed or is not given what he wants, emotions begin to beat over the edge. The problem also lies in the fact that bites, tweaks and bumps are getting stronger and more frequent.

Let's take a closer look at why the child tweaks and fights and how to wean him from it.

The child is fighting with other children

Preschool children fight either to demonstrate their strength to others, or because they want to attract someone's attention.

If you see that your baby is fighting or someone from your neighbors told you what happened, try to find out from them the details of the fight. So it will be easier for you to establish the cause of the aggressive behavior of your baby.

Then call the child and listen to what he tells you about this. If he makes use of his hands because he wants to “educate” someone, explain that you need to achieve what you want with words, not with your fists.

In this case, you should not scold the child, since you can turn from a well-wisher into a real enemy. And what does he do with them? Of course, it hits and pinches.

The child is fighting with parents

If the baby hits you more and more often, keep in mind: this is a response to your “wrong” behavior. For example, you constantly scold him, forbid him everything in the world or shame him.

Another reason for fights is the problem of the perception of a child who thinks that by pinching or hitting someone, he will provoke him to a certain game: blow - resentment - reconciliation - hugs.

In both cases, you need to be more tolerant of the child and not be aggressive. He hit you - stop it without screaming and swearing. You can also take offense at him, hiding in another room. Let the whole house console you! Looking at this, the child will understand: his game failed and, therefore, he didn’t do it very well.

Finally, the third reason why the baby is fighting (both with parents and peers): he just seen enough of “evil” cartoons and now positions himself as a negative character. Control what the TV "shows" to your baby, just do not forbid to watch it at all.

task: to show the child the difference between evil and good and make it clear that good always wins.

When should I contact a specialist?

The reasons for the child’s aggressive behavior are many factors: delayed speech development, trauma, serious illness, death of a close relative, the appearance of a new teacher or student in the classroom.

Even more often, children bite, in the families of which the parents themselves behave maliciously: they constantly sort things out, quarrel and even fight. An apple from an apple tree, isn't it?

The signals indicating that you need to seek help from a psychologist are the following points:

the baby "sharpens" his teeth, not responding to your desire to stop it;
he is already more than three years old;
your child injures others with his bites;
the baby does this to hurt;
he not only fights, but also tortures pets.

Psychologists argue that the habit of biting over time passes, but if the child is already three years old, and he continues to do this with doubled spite, then he needs the help of a specialist.

To summarize

When thinking about how to wean a child to bite, you should understand that only patience and work will help you to fix the situation, since the psyche is so flexible that it can be corrected successfully. Try to show the baby the charm of being on the side of "good" and teach him to express negativity in a safe and acceptable form for society.

Source: http://OtvetProst.com/527-kak-otuchit-rebenka-kusatsya.html

How to wean a child to bite?

A child is biting. Sooner or later this misfortune may appear in the life of every family. Of course, there is not much pleasant in this.

Especially if it is not one of the relatives of the baby who is bitten, but a neighbor's child or children from kindergarten. There are several reasons for this. But all of them are completely solvable.

The main thing is to understand your own offspring and have patience to wean him from such an unpleasant activity.

Why is the baby biting?

When you first encounter the fact that your baby began to clench his teeth on someone's flesh, evaluate the situation in which this happens. Depending on the age of the child, the reasons may vary. And accordingly, the methods of dealing with biting should also be different. We will analyze each of them separately:

If the baby is 5-7 months old, the main reason for his bites is discomfort around the mouth or pain associated with teething. His main victims in this case are the next of kin. Often, the mothers of such babies complain that the baby is biting their breasts. What to do in this case? There are several options: buy special plastic nozzles that will not interfere with feeding and protect the breast from bites, smear the nipples with a special means for teething, which will alleviate the suffering of the baby. But given the age of the child, you can sometimes just endure, because bites associated with teething are almost inevitable.
8-14 months is the time when the baby bites with strong excitement. Emotions overwhelm the baby, and to cope with them, he puts all his strength into the bite. You can get rid of such a habit with the help of a child’s distraction, a solid “no” or with the help of other relatives “take offense” and show that it hurts and you can’t do that.
At the age of 15-36 months, parents face a problem when the child bites in kindergarten. This behavior is caused by the desire to subjugate all those around and control them. Moreover, the child himself bites and plucks only with strangers. Relatives he almost did not touch. Weaning off bites at this age can only be done by explaining to your child that such behavior is unacceptable. In extreme cases, you need to teach the child to speak in words, if something does not suit him. For example, such as: “I am angry,” “I do not want to,” “I am not satisfied,” etc.
If a child bites and fights after three years, this suggests that he is scared or feels helpless. For example, if in a fight of two kids one feels weaker, then such a child bites other children in order to protect themselves. Even if the bite has become a provocation on the part of another baby, you need to show your child to the doctor. It may well be that the child has problems with self-control or self-expression, which may be neurological in nature.

What to do if a child bites?

It is also worth remembering that sometimes a child bites his mother or himself in a state of aggression. It can be caused by the fact that the child has not received the desired, cannot control the behavior of adults or is in an excited state.

After three years of age, only specialists in the field of psychology and pedagogy can answer the question of how to wean a child to bite. For young children, bites are normal.

And you can get rid of it in several ways:

firmly tell the baby that you can’t bite, and this happened again, go with the child to the bitten and pat him in the place where the damage was done.
remember that playing with sand, water, and clay helps reduce aggression. Also, as often as possible, you need to give the baby to draw with pencils, paints and crayons;
among the child’s toys, there must be a constructor and cubes;
let your baby often chew on solid foods: apples, carrots, cucumbers, drying, etc .;
never find out the relationship with the child, especially with screams and fists, because this may cause him aggression;
observe the routine of the baby's day, alternating sleep, activity, eating and walking in the fresh air.

Remember that the child copies your behavior and even facial expressions. Provide him with favorable conditions for harmonious development and surround him with affection and care. Then problems with bites will never affect you.

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We all know the story of Rudyard Kipling, where the main character, Mowgli, was a wild boy, but very kind, and eventually returned to the people. In real life, of course, everything would be different, but sometimes it happens that the most ordinary, “human cubs” become real wolves and begin to get their way, biting.

To the question "Is it possible to wean a child to bite?" Elena Pavlovna Krechko, family and child psychologist, director of the Elitor network of private kindergartens and development and education centers, answers.

If you have a family psychologist or the opportunity to consult with one, you can solve the problem easily and quickly. In the absence of serious psychological problems, you can wean a child to bite yourself, without resorting to help (in most cases). To do this, first the child comes to the conclusion that (and why) it is not good to bite, and then with the help of control and the correct reaction, the result is achieved - the child ceases to achieve the goal with such an “animal” method.

Bites are aggression

Why do children bite at all? We will not mention a certain age of the teeth, when the child’s gums itchy. There are many "grandmother's" methods for getting rid of itching, as well as gels and other remedies in a modern pharmacy. But what to do when the teeth have already grown, and for a long time, and news comes from kindergarten or even from elementary school that the child is biting, and how does Mowgli who escapes solve problems with his teeth?

Bites, first of all, are a manifestation of aggression. But what the child reacts to in this way is to find out to the parents. Observe carefully your baby: when, where and on what, what behavior of others he begins to bite. After all, bites are the baby’s reaction to the trouble in the relationship in which the child is currently located. The source can be in the family or in the garden. If you have the opportunity to limit or rid the baby of the situation - the problem will be solved by itself. Alternatively, it may be some specific boy or girl who offends him in the group, or when you argue at home with family. Change the situation - and the problem may simply disappear.

Sometimes in very serious cases, parents are forced to change kindergarten. But these are extreme measures, because you can fight with the bites of a child.

Bites are a substitute

Why are we more tolerant of animal bites? Because for an animal this is the only way to show their attitude to certain actions performed with them. After all, animals cannot speak. For a child, bites are also a substitute for the verbal way of expressing negative emotions. With undeveloped speech at a certain age, it is difficult to explain why you are angry or offended, that you don’t like it, that you want this baby to return your toy, or that your parents stop yelling at each other. Bites for a baby in this case are a way of expressing negative emotions, a simpler, and, by the way, a very effective way to achieve your goal.

Sometimes the problem of bites is due to the underdevelopment of tactile sensitivity. Such children suck a nipple longer and have a slight lag in speech. In this case, in the process of getting rid of the habit of biting, give the child more foods that need to be nibbled: apples, carrots.

What can and cannot be done

You can’t categorically respond to bites with aggression: swear, spank or bite in response. As with upbringing as a whole, an aggressive response will not solve the problem, but only frighten and can create a complex. The very first step of a parent is to explain to the child that he hurt him (or his neighbor). Explain in words, calmly and confidently, show the trail, give a recent example (“Remember, you fell and cried, and it hurt you? It hurts me now”).

Since bites are a substitute for speech, teach the child the words and phrases that he replaces with such an action. It can be: “No”, “I don’t like it”, “You offended me”, “I don’t want to”, etc. Explain that words are easier to achieve. Play scenes of possible scenarios with toys.

Sometimes children bite, checking relatives or peers. In this case, the baby explores the reactions, he is curious about the behavior of others. In addition, he seeks the limits of what is permitted, checks that he will get away with it. In this case, adults need to be very accurate in letting their child know what can and cannot be done, and that bites are unacceptable. Parents should immediately, but calmly explain what they do not like when they bite, that they are painful and unpleasant. At the same time, it is important to state what actions you want to see: “I really like it when you stroke my hair” or “When we hug, I feel warm and comfortable.”

Sometimes it happens that a bite is a manifestation of attention and positive feelings. Perhaps you used to play games with him where you bit him lightly. But in children, a sense of proportion is not yet developed. In this case, stop all biting games, don’t react positively to the child’s bites: don’t laugh, don’t smile, say you don’t want to “play this game” or “better kiss me”. Without encouragement, this way of expressing emotions will be forgotten on its own.

Finally

You can fight the habit of biting yourself. Of course, it would be good to attract a psychologist from kindergarten, school or private, as a professional will help to quickly understand the problem and find solutions. If this is not possible, the parent himself can observe the child, find the root cause and solve the problem. Most importantly, remember that the habit of biting is not at all an indicator of some psychological problems. More often than not, it's just a bad habit.

It is very embarrassing for parents to hear from their kindergarten teacher or indignant mothers of other babies that their child is biting. Confusion, amazement, indignation - all these feelings fly in a whirlwind in the mother’s head: “Is the child biting? We constantly deal with him and explain everything to him! How to wean a child to bite? "

If the child suddenly began to bite, it is necessary to correctly assess the circumstances, understand when it started, and also take into account the age of the “bully”. The motives that motivate him to use bites can be very different.

In kindergarten, different things happen, but a “biting” child is able to alert both educators and parents

So, babies at 10 months old will use the bites for completely different reasons than 2-4 year old children. Of course, the ways to correct their behavior will also be different.

Causes

The first test "on the tooth" the baby does in infancy. Mom’s chest, rubber nipple, her fist - these are the main objects that experience the attacks of tiny nippers. There is nothing unusual here - moms say. The teeth will erupt and there will be no reason for the child to bite. This often happens, but not always.

The famous pediatrician Komarovsky wrote that almost all the kids begin to bite, only some from the first remark stop their experiments, and some have to be weaned from a bad habit for a long time.

Physiological point of view

Why does a small child bite? Most often, the discomfort in the mouth is to blame when a tooth wants to erupt - constant itching, severe irritation, swollen gums. Probably, from here comes the desire to drag something into the mouth and bite, whether it be your own finger or mother’s chest, sometimes even my father’s chin.

The child feels the urge to bite, as his swollen and reddened gums simply make him do it. Buy special teething toys for your child made of plastic or rubber - let them always lie next to him.

The desire to bite may be associated with a period of teething and pain from it

Children in 1.5-2 years, as a rule, have a limited vocabulary and can not convey their feelings, mood, rage or agreement with words. For very significant incidents, an unusual reaction may follow - a bite, even if the impression was pleasant.

Transitional age

The 3-year-old baby has the first transitional age, his “I” becomes aware: “I want it myself”, “I can do it myself”. Any attempt by parents to correct this process meets a protest on the part of the little man: defending his independence, he can use his teeth.

It is worth paying attention to his relationship with peers. Perhaps he has difficulty communicating with them, and bites are just protection? It happens that such a child not only bites, but also scratches. Suddenly he is not defending himself, but, on the contrary, is going on the offensive? Then he may have problems with self-control.

In any case, if the child began to bite regularly, you need to meet with a neurologist, a child psychologist and listen to their advice. The psychology of children is more accessible and understandable to them.

It happens that at a very young age, the child’s relations with peers do not develop, he accumulates a suppressed resentment or aggression

Psychological reasons

Quite often, the main reason that during communication the child bites and tweaks is insufficient attention from the parents. Thus, children want to attract the attention of adults: mom does not respond to words, continues to watch TV or sit at the computer, you need to bite her!

Conflicts in the family, when aggression manifests itself in front of the baby, have a great influence on the child’s habit of biting. He is stressed, this can lead to the development of a child's bad inclinations.

Child psychologists noticed that a child who bites during disputes or game conflicts must have observed scenes of domestic violence. By the way, the habit of biting peers, which arose as a reaction to hostile relations between parents and relatives, is most difficult to eradicate. Its manifestation is possible even at school.

Very often, parents ask questions: “What happened? While the baby did not go to kindergarten - did not bite, as he began to attend, did this bad habit appear? Why did the baby start biting? What if the child bites? " The habit can arise as a result of stress: unfamiliar surroundings, “old-timers” in kindergarten, hostile behavior of children in the group. As a result - bites for self-defense or to assert their authority. Some children call for help not only their teeth, but also their hands, begin to actively pinch and fight.

Leaving a father’s family, relocating to another apartment in a new house, giving birth to a younger brother or sister are all stressful situations. Children respond to any of them in their own way, including bites.

Unhealthy family situations or the divorce of parents cause stress, which can lead to aggressive manifestations

When do bites indicate serious behavioral problems?

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This article talks about typical ways to solve your questions, but each case is unique! If you want to know how to solve your particular problem - ask your question. It is fast and free.!
the preschooler continues to bite, although adults forbid;
bite age more than 4 years;
bites are very sensitive, wounds remain in their place;
bites are the result of an expression of hostility and resentment, and not the intention to take possession of a toy or self-defense in a fight;
aggression is directed at domestic animals.

What to do in this situation?
If the child bites, you must try to prevent the baby’s aggression towards the children around him in advance. You see that he began to get annoyed, nervous, quarrel, fights with peers - try to interest him in another occupation, distract him.
Let him play other games or advise him to sit alone to analyze his actions. This method is good in that it helps to reduce the communication time of the bite with surrounding children, adults. It happens that a child bites as a result of a long stay among children (adults), the fault may be a banal overwork.
If a non-speaking child bites, his actions must certainly be voiced so that he remembers their name. For example, start like this: “You bit Misha!”. Then continue: “You can’t bite anyone, you’re doing wrong!”, “Only bite pears or apples.” Then offer the kid to play something interesting.

To transform aggression, you can offer your child calm games or a company of parents who will share leisure time with him
You can stop his aggression through another option. Take an interest, noticing that the baby began to get nervous: “Maybe you should give a big doll or a new tractor?”.
If you could not prevent the aggression, stop its further manifestation by the baby. To do this, gently hug him without gusting movements. Then, looking into the eyes, tell him about his feelings and feelings, for example: “You don’t want to part with the bear and give it to Nastya. I understand you perfectly, etc. " Try to speak in the affirmative, so that your words are emotionally similar to his state. The main thing is to convince the baby that you clearly understand his feelings, that the purpose of his aggression is to demonstrate his resentment. It has been achieved - further manifestation of aggressive actions does not make sense.
When a child bites in a kindergarten, ask the teachers if children with the same inclinations go to the group. It may turn out that his comrades badly influenced him.
Parent Behavior
If the child began to bite in the children's team, try to find out what provokes bites. Remember when the baby first discovered this bad habit. Maybe in the life of the crumbs there was some turning point.

The kid has bitten someone with you, take comfort in the bitten one, take pity on him in front of the little bite. Let him see a good example of the need to empathize with others. Give the baby a chance to atone, let him help you put a band-aid on the bitten place, apologize, give the affected peer a drawing.
You have suffered from a bite or blow of a baby - tell him: “You hurt me. You have offended me, I don’t want to be bitten ”. You can’t respond with a bite to a bite so that he doesn’t have an assertion that this is the way to defend or defend your own opinion. When you or any other baby is injured by a bite, do not raise your voice or punish the culprit.
The moment a child bites, he is all in the grip of anger. He does not control his actions. By ordering him, but not allowing him to calm down, you cause him even more anger. Remember, aggression in a baby cannot be stopped, it is necessary to give her the opportunity to splash out. Otherwise, the negative emotions remaining in it, sooner or later they will manifest themselves anyway, will find a way out.
What to look for?
It is necessary to teach the baby to come to a common opinion, expressing his feelings, defending his opinion and desires in words. Try to tell him more often: "I like that you are so restrained."

Do not be shy to praise a child or emphasize his restraint, good breeding - this is very important
Always love a baby: when it is quiet and affectionate, and when aggressive.
Do not succumb to emotions. Try to be smart and sensitive. If a child bites, he needs parental control. When an adult is firm in his requirements, the child develops a sense of discernment (you can - can not, good - bad). These limitations and social disapproval contribute to a sense of shame and doubt.
If the child does not suppress the desire to be independent in the child and there is no excessive custody, by the age of 3 such positive qualities as self-esteem and friendliness will form. Conversely, excessive custody of parents contributes to the formation of feelings of shame, doubt, insecurity.
In order for a child’s personality to develop correctly and positive qualities of character to be formed, adults need to choose the right methods of upbringing in the family.
For the child to stop biting, he needs your help.

To make the right decision to fix the problem, you must first identify the cause. If you find it difficult to cope with this habit in your child yourself, do not delay - immediately talk to a child psychologist if you need his consultation.
Find the cause of child aggression, then immediately take measures to remove the biting habit in order to avoid fixing the behavioral pattern and eradicate this bad habit in the child.

Clinical and perinatal psychologist, graduated from the Moscow Institute of Perinatal Psychology and Reproductive Psychology and Volgograd State Medical University with a degree in clinical psychology

CHILD BITS! WHAT TO DO?

Many children aged 2-3 years go through a “biting” period, when they either bite other children in the kindergarten or become victims of another “bite”. Why do children bite, and how should parents and caregivers relate to this, frankly, sensitive issue?

Any child aged 2-3 years attending kindergarten has returned home at least once with traces of someone else's teeth on his body. Little children bite, that's a fact. Sometimes teeth marks are visible only during changing clothes, they are not striking and parents sometimes do not notice them. Sometimes they look like an ominous watch on a children's arm or back.

If the child already speaks and can name the name of the offender, the “investigation” ends here. You go to kindergarten and menacingly demand about to punish the offender. Despite the fact that this is a very common phenomenon, the question of how parents should respond in this case remains open.

Normally developing children almost always bite at some stage of their development. For the first time this can occur in six months, the peak falls on the age of 2-3 years. At this age, which is not in vain considered “rebellious,” the child tries to distinguish himself from other people, to show his personality.

For these purposes, the child sometimes shows aggression, including bites. When parents react violently, it only pleases the child, because at these moments he feels himself an individual capable of evoking strong emotions.

Reasons for behavior

There are several reasons for the fact that children “try on the tooth” not only toys, but also other people. The first is the desire to approach others and make contact with them. At an early age, the mouth is one of the main organs helping the child in exploring the world.

The second reason is associated with strong negative emotions - the child bites when he is very angry and annoyed. In kindergartens, there are often small children who are unable to cope with outbursts of anger, for example, if a toy is taken from them. The kid is not yet able to express negative emotions in words.

The child understands that he was offended, that an act of aggression occurred. He cannot answer, and often expresses his emotions by biting the offender.

A third factor may be low sensitivity, that is, sensitivity to touch. Children with low sensitivity have a low susceptibility to pain and do not quite understand that touching them can cause another child severe pain.

In addition, children who bite others can suffer from a difficult psychological situation at home. Birth of the youngest child, father who left for military training or on a business trip, quarrels between parents. Sometimes it happens that a child feels great discomfort in the kindergarten, then he will bite other children or caregivers to express his attitude to the kindergarten itself.

Very active children can just get bored in the cramped space of the room - just bring them to the yard so that they become much less aggressive.

When should parents consult a psychologist about a biting child? In most cases, do not rush. This behavior goes away with age, and often does not require any professional intervention. If the baby sometimes bites, but usually he is cheerful, plays, draws and laughs, there is no reason for excitement.

But if the child is most of the time anxious, unable to concentrate, often cries, constantly aggressive for no reason and very often bites - it makes sense to consult a psychologist.

In conclusion, it must be said that some babies never bite. They find other ways to manifest inner tension. Those who bite a lot and often themselves sometimes suffer from their own behavior, because others usually react very sharply to this.

What to do?

First of all, try to prevent aggressive actions on the part of the child in relation to others. If you notice that the child begins to get angry, nervous, arguing, switch his attention to something else, distract him. For example, invite the child to play some interesting game or invite him to be alone, to think about his behavior. This method has advantages. It reduces the number of social contacts of the child with other children, adults. Biting in the case of a long pastime of the child in the collective of children (adults) is a manifestation of overexcitation.
If a child bites who cannot speak yet, it is necessary to voice his behavior so that he remembers his name by saying: “You bite!”. Then say: “You can’t bite people, never do this again!”, “Only apples can bite”. Then switch the child’s attention to something interesting for him. You can prevent his aggressive actions with the help of the proposed alternative. Ask, as soon as you notice that the child began to get nervous: “Do you want to play with a doll or cars?”.
If you were not able to prevent the child’s aggressive behavior, you need to stop the further manifestation of aggressive actions on the part of the child in this case. To do this, carefully, without sudden movements, hug him.
Then, looking into the child’s eyes, tell him about his feelings, for example: “You don’t want to give Masha your toy. I understand you, etc. ” Try to make your phrase affirmative, emotionally similar to the state of the child. It is important to show the child that you understand him, that the purpose of such aggressive actions of the child is to show his sense of resentment. And that when the goal is reached, the further manifestation of aggressive actions is pointless.
If the child has bitten or hit you, tell him in an indifferent tone: “It hurts me. I get very angry when they bite me. ”
Comfort the victim, show sympathy for him in the eyes of the child who bit him. Thus, the child is given an example of how to express sympathy. Allow the child to make amends, offer him to put a patch on the site of the bite, apologize, draw a picture and present to the victim.
If a child has bitten you, or bit another child, then in no case should you scream or beat him. At the moment when the children bite someone, they are overwhelmed with a feeling of anger. He is not able to realize what he is doing. By ordering the child, while not letting him calm down, you will provoke an even greater outburst of rage in him. Remember, the stopped aggressive actions of the child can lead to the fact that negative emotions that do not spill out will remain in the child and sooner or later they will manifest themselves and find a way out.
If a child has bitten you - do not bite him in response, otherwise he will gain an understanding that this is how you should defend yourself and defend your opinion.
Love your child not only when he is obedient and affectionate, but also when he is in a state of anger.
Do not go about your emotions. Show mind and sensitivity.
If you notice that the child has begun to bite and pinch - in this case, control by the parents is important. The external hardness of adults trains a child's sense of discernment (you can - can not, good - bad). Based on these limitations, social disapproval, a feeling of shame and doubt is formed.
Provided that the parents do not suppress the desire for autonomy in the child, taking care of him excessively, he will have such positive qualities as pride and goodwill by the age of three. Accordingly, excessive custody of adults will contribute to the formation of a child's sense of shame, doubt, insecurity.
The development of a child’s personality, the formation of positive qualities in him is influenced by the style of family education and communication with the child that is correctly chosen by parents.
For the child to stop biting, he will need your help. To make the right decision, what to do if the child bites, it is necessary, first of all, to identify the cause. Having identified the reason and determining why the child is biting, you must immediately begin to take measures to eliminate it by biting, so that such aggressive behavior does not become fixed and does not become a habit in the child

Psychologist