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Europe without embellishment: children's gangs in Italy. Are youth subcultures in our society good or bad? Massacre in the parking lot

The wave of child aggression that has swept all countries of the world is raising at its crest a global question for humanity: “Why did we give our children to be raised by the Internet and the media?”

And again Naples, beautiful and terrible. Mafia again. Unjustified cruelty again. This time, young members of the Camorra gangs are entering the organized crime scene. And again, the well-spoken journalists are right there. The phenomenon was called “baby gangs”. It seems that Italian society pays more attention to the refinement of definitions than to intervening in the process of inevitable dehumanization of adolescents.

The great son of Italy, Sandro Botticelli, who wrote “The Birth of Venus” and illustrations for Dante Alighieri’s “Hell,” dreamed at the age of 13 of becoming a skilled jeweler, and a little later, an outstanding artist. The incredible Michelangelo Buonarotti, author of The Creation of Adam and the Roman Pieta (Lamentation of Christ), at the age of 14 studied diligently at art school, where he was noticed by the great Lorenzo de' Medici, the ruler of Florence.


“Lamentation of Christ” by Michelangelo Buonarotti 1499

Today’s teenagers in Italy, and especially in the city of Naples, don’t have to dream high. All needs and dreams are reduced to the banal: beat up the weak, steal money, eat delicious food and pick up beautiful girls. But everything became simple and understandable, albeit primitive, as if in an article about the basic, base needs of a person: the needs for dominance, for profit, for sex.

Recently a march took place in Naples, the purpose of which was to show the position of society condemning the aggression of minors. By the way, Italians love marches and demonstrations for any reason. This is a great reason to meet friends you haven't seen for a long time. Let the march not solve all problems, as the “Camorra KVN team” would sing, but it will become happier for everyone, it will become more fun for everyone.

There are plenty of reasons for such processions in Naples. Over the past two months, children have committed more than 20 store robberies, more than 5 attacks on peers, and more than 30 acts of violating public order.

The Great March of Solidarity brought together everyone outraged by the murder of 17-year-old Arturo, stabbed in the throat by gang members outside a metro station, and the many senseless beatings of children across the city. At such mass rallies, people, holding “Stop the violence” posters in their hands, do not lose their good mood and are quite smiling, which may surprise an unwitting witness.


Demonstration against teenage aggression in Scampia, Naples.

We have already written in previous articles that teenagers from the Camorra are not afraid even of soldiers with machine guns when they interfere with the passage of their scooters. At the end of 2017, things began to escalate, and young Camorristas began to probe the zone of what was permitted, committing daring and strange crimes.

Stealers of traditions.

On new year holidays in the Galleria Umberto I shopping gallery, a symbol of beauty, art and leisure beloved by tourists, a beautiful spruce tree is installed, to which residents and guests of the city come to hang notes on a branch with their secret desires. A wonderful tradition that was barbarously violated just a few days after the installation of the spruce tree. Several teenagers cut down a fir tree with a chainsaw at night and dragged the tree to a neighboring block, where they simply abandoned it. And in December 2017, this happened twice! Thus, one of the “children’s gangs” made itself known, intimidating competitors with the level of its serious attitude. The bar for absurd antisocial behavior has been raised. The social competition in barbarism has been won.


Remains of tradition in the center of Naples

By the way, this beautiful area inside the gallery was chosen by teenagers for their nightly events - after 22:00 it is used as a field for night football or as a track for racing scooters, or as a place for demonstrative humiliation of homeless people. The reader may ask, “Where are the police looking?” (and wrinkles may appear above the bridge of the nose). For Italian reality, this is an open question - apparently, the police have more important things to do. Although one municipal official said that closing the gallery at night would be an insult to the city. Such statements, strange from the point of view of order in the city, are woven into a special Italian reality, which is difficult for a foreigner to understand. In our opinion, it would be easier to arrest all the violators and close the gallery at night. Or maybe it's not so simple...

The governor of the Campania region, Vincenzo De Luca, spoke in favor of toughening punishment for teenagers and announced a reduction in the punishment threshold to 16 years. There is a norm called repression, which becomes indispensable when a person wants to guarantee the peace of the community, therefore, De Luca concluded, we must also go to this level. But they haven’t gone yet, they’re just thinking about it.

The phenomenon of children's gangs. Evolution of the Camorra


According to “Camorra mafia expert” Roberto Saviano, children’s gangs are not a spontaneous phenomenon. This is the evolution of the mafia - power from the elders, the so-called “dons”, is transferred to children who are approaching the puberty period of their lives, 14-16 years old. The Camorra is growing younger by empowering its younger members. The elders, like the aristocracy, go into the shadows, managing the process from their palaces. It's safer and more stylish, just like in the movies.

We can observe evolutionary processes when the mafia strives to be like the heroes of films about the mafia, the directors of which are ahead of each other in terms of “closeness to reality”, depicting the Camorristas more aggressive and angrier, which in fact makes the real Camorristas even angrier and even more aggressive. Vicious circle great of the arts! This is a very alarming call for those who confidently insist that the media does not manipulate people’s consciousness...

Is this treatable?

The other day, Marco Rossi Doria, a teacher who has been working with difficult teenagers for 35 years and an expert from the Ministry of Education, came to Naples. His task is to analyze the origins of childhood aggression and propose ways to solve the problem.


Marco Rossi Doria

This is how Marco Rossi described the problem and suggested ways out of the emerging madness. The reader is invited to read the thoughts of an Italian education expert and imagine the schools of Perm and Ulan-Ude.

Expert opinion

The picture is complex and must be noticed. In Naples there is a problem of having a state. It is a large city with high rates of social exclusion and a strong influence of organized crime. We don't know exactly what it is, but it fits with the Camorra model, which makes it easier to find a solution.

From a descriptive point of view, these are groups of young children whose families are not only poor, they are “broken,” single-parent, and either unemployed or at the bottom of the hierarchy of organized crime. They live on the edges of already marginalized neighborhoods and communities, and even within those communities are considered marginalized.

The parents of these children have no understanding of how to raise a child.

Children don't go to school, they sit without any action, ride around on scooters, and at some point it occurs to them to do something, to go on an adventure, and after a few minutes they commit a terrible disaster against anyone, who happened to be in front of them. These guys don't have to have any, they are ready to get into a fight with their bare hands or kick the weak with their feet. These children were not intercepted in time by any adult figure: a sensible grandfather, a caring grandmother, a pastor or a volunteer... At a certain point, they become a ticking time bomb.

Violence is reduced when a system is created that integrates local educational communities. But it is very important - for a long time, with constant action.

In addition to schools, we need youth centers in which teenagers will work, live the “adventures” and problems of their city, and be useful to it.

Need regular exercise social projects, support for youth entrepreneurship. The risk group includes teenagers from 10 to 25 years old. And all of the listed strategic actions, which were known before, must not be stopped for at least the next 10 years. Only then will there be a result.

We need more flexible, closer schools, real vocational training. What is needed are strong alliances between teachers and street educators who can have an affinity for areas that are at the edge of limits and act as antennas that understand what children are like when they strive to go beyond and can intercept them by offering alternative avenues of activity where they can explore and test themselves. Obviously this proposal cannot last one semester, it must last 5-10 years.

If government policy supports investments in the educational community, in territorial education, in the medium term we can count on saving children. In addition to all this, there should be not so much a change in the law as confidence in sanctions, not even criminal ones: the educational program must be implemented, its implementation must be strictly observed and monitored. And if a teenager needs special help due to social problems, you need to listen to this.

conclusions

A great skill is to learn from the mistakes of others. When you try to understand the origins of aggression among Italian teenagers, you immediately begin to remember the latest events in Russia, in schools, where teenagers took up arms to tell the world something.

Marco Rossi Doria's analysis of the phenomenon is quite realistic. And if you put all his conclusions together, only one conclusion emerges: children whose parents stop loving them pick up knives in order to regain love and respect.

Children should remain children - in all the beauty of their desire to develop and comprehend the world. When this desire gets in the way of computer games and computer games verified by psychologists according to all the canons of addiction development. social media, children who have not received the love of their parents as an alternative go into the virtual world created by evil geniuses, completely accepting its rules.

Why did we give our children up to the Internet and mass media? Because we are afraid to make mistakes and because we are afraid to give a tablet with the cartoon “Masha and the Bear” in our hands three year old child It’s easier than getting him interested in a game or live communication.

What can we do to save our children? It's simple - learn to love them!

Criminal community is an informal association of teenagers or youth that has its own leaders, a hierarchy of relationships, expressed antisocial goals, organization and discipline, norms and rules of behavior, and certain obligations among themselves.

In each community, a criminal subculture is formed, which significantly affects its members as a socio-cultural environment of upbringing.

Under criminal youth subculture is understood as the totality of spiritual and material assets regulating and streamlining the life and criminal activities of adolescents and youth of criminal communities, which contributes to their vitality, cohesion, criminal activity and mobility, and the continuity of generations of offenders. The basis of the criminal youth subculture constitute values, norms, traditions, and various rituals of young criminals united in groups that are alien to civil society.

The criminal subculture differs from the usual teenage subculture in the corresponding content of norms governing the relationships and behavior of group members among themselves and with persons outside the group (with “outsiders”, representatives of law enforcement agencies, the public, adults, etc.). It directly, directly and strictly regulates the criminal activity of minors and their criminal lifestyle, introducing a certain “order” into them.

The following are clearly evident in the criminal youth subculture:

  • – expressed hostility towards generally accepted norms and its criminal content;
  • – internal connection with criminal traditions;
  • – secrecy from the uninitiated;
  • – the presence of a whole set (system) of attributes strictly regulated in the group consciousness.

encouraging a cynical attitude towards women and sexual promiscuity;

– encouragement of base instincts and any forms of antisocial behavior.

It should be emphasized that the criminal subculture attractive for teenagers and young men with such manifestations as:

  • – the presence of a wide field of activity and opportunities for self-affirmation and compensation for failures that befell its members in others life situations(for example, in studies, in relationships with teachers, parents);
  • – a process of criminal activity, including risk and extreme situations, colored with a touch of false romance, mystery and unusualness;
  • – removal of all moral restrictions;
  • – the absence of prohibitions on any information and, above all, intimate information;
  • – providing “their” group with moral, physical, material and psychological protection from outside aggression, taking into account the state of age-related loneliness experienced by a teenager.

The criminal subculture is rapidly spreading among young people due to its exceptional activity and visibility. Teenagers and young people are captivated by its outwardly catchy attributes and symbolism, the emotional richness of norms, rules, and rituals.

The nature of the formation of criminal communities is different - from a spontaneous association based on common interests and idle self-indulgence to a special creation for committing crimes.

In the latter case, criminal activity from the very beginning is a group-forming factor and is subordinated to the will of one person - the organizer (leader). In such a group, norms and rules are focused on the values ​​of the criminal subculture. In accordance with this, the structure of the group is determined and the roles in it are distributed:

  • – leader:
  • – leader’s confidant;
  • – encouraged asset;
  • – attracted newcomers.

Often criminal groups operate according to laws "flocks". In such a community, teenagers obey the will of the leader or emotions; there is rampant elements in it, provoking its members to be especially sophisticated in mocking the individual, cruelty, and acts of vandalism. The group is formed spontaneously and is also destroyed or criminalized.

In pedagogical practice, it is very important to identify such groups and include their members in organized children's communities, helping to realize the natural needs for communication and joint activities. In case of strengthening of the negative role of the leader, targeted activities are necessary to debunk him or limit his influence, up to and including isolation from the group through placement in a special educational institution.

A type of criminal group, distinguished by special secrecy, great cohesion and clear organization, distribution of functions in the commission of a crime, is gang This is what the Turks called a group of armed men on a boat who attacked lonely ships and robbed them. Currently, it is understood as a group of people who have united for some criminal activity. Such an association, made up of teenagers and young people, may include members:

  • – living at a considerable distance from each other;
  • of different ages(including adults);
  • – along with males and females as well.

The most characteristic features of the gang's structural organization are: preliminary conspiracy and focus on criminal activity under the leadership of a leader with criminal experience and a strong will. In a gang, teenagers and young men are introduced to criminal traditions, they develop and develop confidence in the possibility of the existence of a non-socially organized environment, they are actively instilled with antisocial views and habits.

The highest type of organized criminal groups includes gang. This is an armed group that commits predominantly violent crimes (robbery attacks on state, public and private enterprises and organizations, as well as on individuals, hostage-taking, terrorist acts). The main characteristics of a gang are its armament and the violent nature of its criminal activities.

One of the important social and pedagogical problems is activities to prevent the formation of criminal communities. In this regard, working with informal groups is of particular importance. It includes the following areas:

  • – timely identification of the emergence of a group, establishment of the most frequent places of “hangouts” of children, numerical and demographic composition ( small group– 3–5 people or a group of 10–12 or more), the nature of the group’s orientation (asocial / prosocial), cohesion and predisposition to interaction and determining the nature of educational interaction with it;
  • – special social and pedagogical work with informal teenage and youth groups to develop a positive orientation, prevent their criminalization, and involve them in formal group activities. Experience shows that working with informal communities is extremely difficult. This is explained by the low effectiveness of measures to influence teenagers from such an association. His adaptability to the informal environment creates favorable conditions for self-realization. He does not need to switch to something else, which requires the creation of more favorable conditions, motivated positive values ​​and ideals;
  • – active use of the capabilities of leisure institutions in working with informal groups (clusters): development on their basis of various types of activities that are attractive and popular among young people (rock clubs, fan clubs); organizing and holding a series of events and promotions in the microsociety aimed at attracting young people (holidays, competitions, discos); reorientation of the group towards socially approved activities (creation of temporary jobs, change of the informal leader of the group); finding opportunities to ensure (material and other) existence of an informal group of a positive orientation (proposal various options employment, socially useful activities, physical education and sports, mastering martial arts), for example, the creation of a group performing on an official basis on the basis of an amateur musical group;
  • – targeted social and pedagogical work with asocial and antisocial groups. Fundamental to determining the strategy for working with a group is the type of its informal leader (physical or intellectual); a set of basic moral, ideological and other values ​​that guide a given group in its life. Taking into account the uniqueness of the leader, the direction and nature of the social pedagogical activity to overcome the authority and influence of the leader on group members, changing value orientations and the nature of their implementation;
  • – harsh suppression of the prospects of creating a youth group under the leadership of an adult who has convictions of an illegal nature (for example, someone who has returned from prison).

A social educator needs to understand the essence of youth subculture and informal associations. When working with children and youth, understand that many of them may belong to one of the informal organizations, groups, groupings and build their relationships with them taking this factor into account. This means that you should:

  • – accept a teenager, young man belonging to any group, such as he is;
  • – if possible, include him in a variety of positive activities of the team, actively using his aspirations and skills acquired in an informal group;
  • – communicate with him in the logic of a “dialogue of cultures”, gradually working to form an attitude towards the values ​​that he professes;
  • – actively support socially valuable initiatives, involving students in the class and school in them;
  • – understand the need to provide individual assistance when it actually arises;
  • – show fairness, sympathy, understanding of their needs and problems towards students;
  • – learn to conduct individual conversations with a student as an “expert”, “adviser”, “guardian”;
  • – correctly use your influence on students to clarify the situation.

At one time in the Tyumen club named after. F. E. Dzerzhinsky was proposed original solution problems of countering street gangs. The entire street company was invited to the club and, in its previous composition, without breaking up, became a division of the club. There should be a gradual reorientation of the group, a rejection of its previous norms and traditions. This reorganization process consisted of three stages:

  • – 1st – group autonomy, when a group is involved in the club team, primarily due to the interest of the group leader;
  • – 2nd – leadership reorganization, when there is either a reorientation of the leader due to his inclusion in collective life, or discrediting of the leader who shows the inconsistency of previous forms and methods of managing the group in collective life;
  • – 3rd – merger of the group with the club team, when a group ceases to be a closed association and is included in a general system of collective activity and broad connections with all members of the team.

Thus, when working with teenagers and youth associations, there are many approaches that make it possible to ensure the fulfillment of their social needs, strengthen the positive direction of the community’s influence, and prevent and overcome criminalization.

To belong in a children's company means to be able to play by certain rules.

In September, two new twin girls came to the seventh grade, where three friends studied: Anna, Sarah and Melanie. After a couple of weeks, all five were already sticking together. But one Monday in November, Anna discovered a crumpled note in her locker that read: “You think you’re cool, but we know your secret. Club.”

That day became a real nightmare for Anna. She tried to talk to the twins after class, but they pointedly turned away from her and began to whisper. At dinner, her friends said: “We don’t want to sit with people like you!”

Anna sat down at another table, but could not talk to anyone - she watched in panic as her friends whispered, laughed and looked at her slyly.

The girl felt terrible. What did she do? After school, she called Sarah to find out what was wrong, but she coldly replied: “Don't call me again. I can't talk to you.”

A couple of days later, one girl blabbed to Anna about what the twins had said in class: they would not accept anyone who spoke to Anna into their group. That same evening, Anna’s mother entered the nursery and saw that her daughter was sobbing bitterly in bed.

Why companies arise

Groups have always existed in any children's group. But especially lush color they bloom in middle and high school. At the age of 11-13, almost all boys and girls begin to create companies and secret societies. Instead of playing with one person today and another tomorrow, as was the case in elementary school, they are divided into groups. There is also a hierarchy among the school's companies - your schoolchild can probably tell you who belongs to which group and what level they occupy in the school "value system".

A typical example. I walk into a regular school and immediately notice a group of pretty sixth-graders - probably the most popular girls. Anna, Becky, Julia, Christina and Katie sit at the center table in the school cafeteria, each wearing a red sweater and clogs. gray, brown varnish on her nails, black velvet ribbons on her wrists, and her hair is braided in french braid.

It is clear that the day before they had spent several hours on the phone discussing this whole form - their expression of solidarity. The beauties' conversation is peppered with special words ("major"), discussions of their favorite rapper and categorical statements about the importance of vegetarianism. And of course, they condescendingly talk about the fact that many of their classmates are no match for them.

Don’t sit here,” the girls say sarcastically when someone wants to join them at the table, “we’re talking.”

During recess, they gather near Julia's locker, whispering secrets and laughing, then suddenly stand in a circle, turning their backs to the girls who are trying to approach them. Many girls would like to become part of this company, but it is hopeless. After all, the main goal and main meaning of the group is to keep others at a distance. If anyone can join a company, what good is it?

To the dismay of parents, children in the same company strive to be as similar to each other as possible. Katie, for example, has always done a ponytail, and now diligently French braids every morning, because Julia, Anna, Becky and Christina want all five of them to look the same. They also made a pact that neither of them would smoke alone.

We ourselves behaved exactly the same way. Only in my time we wore straight hair with bangs, plaid skirts, said "cool" and listened to the Beatles, but in everything else we behaved exactly the same. Compliance with the rules - the so-called concessions to the group - is necessary. This helps children accurately identify who is with them and who is against them. At times, rules are enforced in very harsh ways because children do not yet have experience in social communication. Typically, group members agree on how they will reject outsiders - which is why the most violent children can often end up in the same company.

Why do children want to be in company?

Remember how complex and confusing life seemed to us as children. Surely at some point you had the feeling that the rules of friendship were somehow changing?

Indeed, in high school boys and girls are becoming more creative when choosing friends. For friendship, a casual acquaintance is no longer enough - a coincidence of interests and values ​​is necessary. This similarity gives the child a familiar sense of security, but at the same time allows him to separate from the family and feel like part of a generation. Children's groups have much in common with families: they usually consist of three to six people who spend a lot of time together and share their most personal problems with each other.

Children often form groups under the influence of the adults around them. This happens when teachers and parents constantly compare children and divide them into groups based on ability, appearance and age. In such an atmosphere, children tease each other much more and react more sharply to insults. For example, often in prestigious and expensive private schools, children from elementary school begin to show off to each other their haircuts, backpacks, and stylish designer things. Those who have nothing to boast about experience all the “delights” of the contemptuous attitude of their peers.

Despite the difficulties and concerns of parents, dividing children into groups helps children. Firstly, they are aware of their place in the school hierarchy, and secondly, they master the most important principles friendship - for example, the fact that the most intimate things are not shared with the first person you meet. Thirdly, communication in a company provides life experience and skills for solving the most important problems: how a person who is rejected feels; how much you can yield to the interests of the group; what is loyalty and betrayal; why friendship ends.

What parents worry about

Girls find it more difficult to exist within a children's group. Dr. Thomas J. Berndt, a psychologist who studies childhood relationship problems, has identified the main differences between groups of boys and girls:

  • girls are more selective. If a girl tries to join a group of four girls, she will most likely not be accepted. In the same situation, a group of boys will be more supportive of the newcomer;
  • girls are much more worried than boys about being kicked out of the group and about others betraying the interests of the group;
  • Since girls spend more time with one friend, they are more prone to jealousy and competitiveness in the group;
  • Both girls and boys love gossip, but girls prefer to discuss the thoughts and feelings of others, and boys prefer to discuss actions.

All parents hate to hear their children say nasty things about those who are not in their company. However, Thomas Berndt believes that there is also a benefit to this: children use gossip as a means of strengthening relationships within the group. This is just an attempt to set our own standards.

Another problem that worries adults is the fear that the company will have a bad influence on the child. Indeed, at any age, a child can begin to behave disgustingly just so as not to be left alone. When two best friends decide to go against someone, they tend to get carried away and try to outdo each other in terms of teasing, kicking, pushing and slapping everyone.

Instead of prohibiting such friendships, teach your child to maintain his own line of behavior. And until you are sure that he can withstand the next nasty prank of his friends, try to ensure that they spend time only in your house or under your supervision.

Despite the apparent cohesion, children's companies fall apart quite quickly. Someone is jealous of someone, someone is quarreling with someone, and soon the children discover that they have much less in common than they thought at first.

One of the reasons for such fragility of groups is that at the age of 8-14 years, children change rapidly, both physically and emotionally. This happened to Sam: in the eighth grade he best friend suddenly he grew 10 cm, began playing for the basketball team and made new friends there. And Sam, passionate about computers, joined other boys with similar interests, among whom one turned out to be a real computer genius!

IN school years time is perceived differently. Even two weeks can seem endless to a child who is not accepted into the company. And in general, except in rare cases, companies rarely last longer than one school year.

How to help your child

Some children manage to find a suitable company and establish themselves in it on their own. Others need their parents' help. For example, like Gary, who came to new school and soon found himself the object of persecution by one guy. Since Gary did not have time to make friends, no one supported him.

The parents helped their son feel less vulnerable. His father enrolled him in a drum studio and trained his son on the football field on weekends. Soon Gary was accepted into the football team, and he had his own group of friends.

Being new to the school team is a stressful situation for your child. In the groups that existed at the school for several years, certain relationships had already developed. If children feel insecure in such groups, they are likely to be suspicious of the new kid. They think: what if he changes the relationship in our company? What if he takes my best friend away from me?

That is why, if possible, you should not change schools in the middle school year- especially when the child is over eight years old. By this point, the children have already split into groups, and your child may remain an outsider for a long time, until the end of the year.

But what if your son or daughter has to come to new class? You can help a child in this situation if you remember your own childhood. Adults underestimate the importance of “correct” clothing for a child’s status. Visit your son or daughter's school before he or she starts. Look at how other children dress and what hairstyles they wear - if certain shoes or jeans of one model are particularly fashionable, try to buy them for your child. Of course, make sure that he wants it himself, because some people really like to be different from others.

Teach your child to calmly and with humor respond to possible comments and ridicule in their direction - how they react to this from the very beginning will determine the attitude towards them in the future.

From time to time, we all meet adults who do not know how to get along with others - they argue too much, or impose their point of view, or are not interested in anyone but themselves. We say in such cases: “He doesn’t know how to communicate at all.” Likewise, children may lack communication skills. But, unlike adults, children instantly become victims of their peers - they are rejected, teased or ridiculed. Therefore, between the ages of five and thirteen, a child needs to learn how to communicate and make friends, sometimes with the help of parental prompts.

The process of joining a group is always the same. Here, seven-year-old Robbie sees a group of boys playing ball during recess. Robbie really wants to join them, but he doesn't know how. The result depends on what he does now - whether he will be accepted into the game and into the company or not.

What should Robbie do? Take your time and pay close attention to what is happening. Sit at the edge of the group and observe the behavior of others. Then slowly and unobtrusively try to enter the game. So Robbie began to run along with the others along the edge of the field, not trying to grab the ball. Then he exchanged a few words with a boy who was running nearby, and finally, when everyone seemed to accept him in the game, one of the boys shouted: “Hey, Rob, catch it!” And only after playing for some time did Robbie dare to propose a new rule of the game.

If a boy tried to unceremoniously insert himself into someone else’s company, immediately challenge the rules and try to control the situation without understanding the relationship between the children, he would most likely not be accepted into this group. A direct question: “Can I play too?” could only help if it were addressed not to the team, but to one child.

By the way, positive attitude and a good mood is an excellent “pill” that helps a child establish relationships with other children. In my childhood, when I went to a new school, my father told me to be friendly with everyone, smile more often and not impose my opinion too much. And it always worked!