About the new book “I don’t want to study! History of schools in Russia. How to Make Friends at a New School Why It Happens

You moved to a new school and you want to be popular. This will take no more than 30 days.

Day 1: On the first day, meet everyone in the class. Find out what everyone's name is, and say your name too. No need to wait for someone to come up to you first, act yourself.

Day 2: Don't forget the names of classmates you meet.

Day 3: Every day, when you come to class, greet everyone while smiling.

Day 4: Wear only what you like, no need to change your style to please and attract attention.

Day 5: Smile often and your classmates will sympathize with you.

Day 7: A week has passed. You've already gotten to know your classmates well enough. And now you can give notebooks, textbooks, CDs, etc.

Day 8: If suddenly, you do not know something, or cannot understand, do not be shy, turn to your friends, people love it when they turn to them for help.

Day 9: When school is over, don't rush home. Stop for a while and chat with new acquaintances.

Day 10: You are already used to the class and can now express your opinion calmly.

Day 11: It's time to find yourself a person in spirit. There is definitely someone who shares your hobbies with you.

Day 12: Swap numbers with classmates.

Day 13: Just be yourself, no need to pretend. After all, in the old school there was a person who liked you the way you are.

Day 14: At recess, talk to everyone, but don't gossip about anyone, as gossips are not liked.

Day 15: Someone invited you to go for a walk, go to the cinema, do not refuse, even if you do not want to go somewhere.

Day 16: Watch out for not-so-pretty boys, because they can turn out to be friends, even better than girls.

Day 17: Don't pretend you don’t know anything from your lessons or you’ll get poor grades.

Day 18: Work with friends to find a gift for your relatives.

Day 19: Remember that pretty and well-dressed girls aren't always nice.

Day 20: If suddenly, it happens that you are in a ridiculous but funny situation, show that you have a sense of humor and you will sit down to laugh at yourself.

Day 21: Do something nice with your friend. But you don't need to flatter her.

Day 22: Invite your friends to the disco or take them for a walk.

Day 23: Don't interrupt classmates in class, nobody likes selfish people.

Day 24: Always come to the rescue. Do not be afraid to refuse any offer if you do not have the opportunity, well, or you simply do not have a desire.

Day 25: If suddenly your friend has a cold, call her and ask how she is feeling.

Day 26: Don't be selfish, listen to your friends, take an interest in their hobbies.

Day 27: If your friend is upset, gently ask her what is wrong with her and if she needs your help.

Day 28: help your classmates, offer help, don't wait for someone to ask you

Day 29: You invite your friends to a party, and someone even says you're cool.

Day 30: Well, the ones you invited have come. Everyone had a lot of fun. You've become popular in a month!

So how do you behave in a new class? When you open the doors for the first time and appear in front of a new team, of course, everyone appreciates you. People are interested in both your appearance and your character. For some, the first is important, and for others, the second. In the new team, of course, you should have friends. But don't hope that everyone in the class will love you. Do not forget that people in the class are different and not everyone can get along with characters. Your task in the new team is not to please everyone, but to show yourself so that you are not pestered or insulted. Therefore, initially you need to be confident. Of course, no one talks about self-confidence, in which a person begins to behave as if he is "the center of the earth." But, to enter a new class with your head down and looking around hunted around is also not necessary, in any case. People should understand at first glance that you respect them and respect yourself.

You should not scruple everyone and keep silent all the time. Chat and don't be afraid to start conversations. Of course, you don't need to be annoying and annoy everyone with endless stories about your life and your friends. This is something you can do when you have friends who are really interested. On the first day, you just need to limit yourself to acquaintance, chat with a neighbor or a neighbor on a desk and try to figure out who the leader is in the class, what his friends are, whether you want to get into this company or just want them to treat you normally. Collectives are different. In some, newcomers are received with great dissatisfaction. You need to be ready for this and be able to defend yourself. Of course, you don't need to provoke a conflict yourself. But, if you see that they are trying to humiliate or insult you, do not be silent. Even if someone dislikes you, he will no longer touch you if he realizes that you can give a worthy rebuff and are not afraid of anything. In addition, in this way, you will earn the respect of the good people who are in every team and can become your friends.

If you are erudite and know a lot, you should not constantly show it to the class and teachers. Of course, if you are asked - answer and earn good grades. But, in no case, you can not interrupt your classmates, constantly stretch your hand when they answer and do not remember something. Better, if possible, tell the person the answer. Obviously, this will not lose you, but people will understand that you are ready to help and can cooperate with the team, and not do everything just for yourself.

You should never change your style of clothing if your classmates don't like it. There will always be people who will accept you for who you are. And if, under pressure from others, you start to dress the way they like, they will treat you as a person who can be controlled and do with him what they want. Obviously, you will not earn respect, but you will only become the "six" strongest. Naturally, you do not want this at all. Therefore, you do not need to give up yourself just because someone wanted it. Of course, everyone wants to join a new team, but there is no need to do this, to the detriment of their own dignity and pride. You must remember that each person is different. Smart and adequate people understand this and appreciate it in others. And, if someone wants to turn you into a gray mass or his clone, then this person is not worthy of friendship with you, and your efforts to please him.

You should never discuss classroom practices and team members with new classmates. The fact is that you can be considered a gossip, or you can turn people against you. Remember that first impressions are often deceiving. You might like people who are not really nice. And those who could really become true friends for you, you will turn against yourself. Therefore, try to listen, observe and not interfere with someone's discussion. Remember that these people have been studying together for a long time, they can say nasty things about each other, sort things out and make peace. But if you say something wrong, simply turn away from you. Therefore, it is better to just shut up and observe from the side. Sometimes, people who speak little and know a lot feel the best. Everyone understands that they can be trusted and respected. But, at the same time, when people say little about themselves, those around them have little leverage, therefore, they cannot offend you with something or force you to do something. Therefore, you should never immediately open up to people, even if you liked them. It always takes time to understand what kind of person really is. Therefore, try to restrain yourself.

But, this does not mean at all that you should be constantly distant, gloomy and not communicate with people. On the contrary, if you can be the life of the company, amuse others and find topics for conversation - use it. People appreciate those who can amuse them, come up with something, be original. Just do not try with all your might to take the position of a leader if one already exists in the class, or if there is democracy in the team and there is no clear leadership as such. If people want, over time, you will feel that they themselves, consciously or subconsciously, nominate you for the role of a leader. But, until this happens, you do not need to try to prove to them that you are better. They don't like this very much, especially in those collectives where everyone is equal.

In 2016, the publishing house "On foot into history" published a book by Ekaterina Stepanenko and Evgenia Suslova "I don't want to study! History of Schools in Russia "with illustrations by Alina Ruban.

Although I am not one of the young and middle-aged children for whom the book is designed, I read it with pleasure! Perhaps this is precisely why it would be more correct and happy to address the book to “middle and senior ..”? However, it is very likely that I underestimate the younger students.

The information is presented with pedantry, over the centuries, and even with repetition - first general facts, then a detailed presentation - just like in a textbook. But unlike the textbook, I don’t want to study! the text is as close as possible to normal human speech - "... cadet corps began to appear all over the country, like mushrooms after rain",and the format "read a paragraph - looked at the picture" facilitates the process of gnawing the granite of science. The pages are dotted with drawings in the style of "I can do it" (a deep delusion that increases self-esteem) - and while the brain digests the information that

« the adjective "cadet" came from another foreignword: in French, "cadet" means "junior»,

the eye is resting; a classic combination of business and pleasure. The authors try to adequately assess the epochs - both long gone and still fresh in memory; skipping a glance over the small paragraphs of text scattered between illustrations, we are convinced: yes, it was different.

the pupils of the Moscow Orphanage received freedom at the end of their studies and “a new woolen dress ..<..> and a ruble of money ”, but these are those who survived; the next paragraph rightly clarifies the extremely high (according to statistics - 87%) infant mortality in the institution,
The Soviet Union was justly proud of the elimination of illiteracy and free education - but it was not immediately possible to provide schools with at least the minimum necessary, and education in a high school from the USSR from 1940 to 1954 was paid.
teachers who graduated from pre-revolutionary grammar schools (Latin, Greek, etc.) suddenly became scrubs (special thanks to the artist for drawing the teacher with claws!).

Especially successful I would call the constant comparison of the conditions of a modern student with the living conditions of gymnasium students, lyceum students, students of digital schools - students of past eras. Sensation everyday lifeit is necessary to understand for a long time or very recently lived, seemingly the same as you, girls and boys. And after such an encyclopedia, many will certainly want to "expand and deepen" the knowledge gained. They can be advised books about the "old" school: "The Story of a Childhood" by E. Vodovozova, "Sketches of the Bursa" by N. Pomyalovsky, "Mishkino's Childhood" by M. Gorbovtsev, "Last Bow" by V. Astafiev and many other good books.

In addition to the data on the actual school education in Russia, the encyclopedia is studded with information about who Fyodor Volkov was, where the word "lyceum" came from, which means in translation from Latin Gubernareeterra and other things - to broaden the horizons.

You read about education in one particular country and you wonder how many times the approaches to teaching, the very principles of teaching, have changed! With each new ruler - emperor, general secretary - a new era began, including at school. And what a few years ago was positioned as unshakable values \u200b\u200bbecame not only irrelevant, but also harmful and dangerous.

Peter stood for professional education, Ekaterina - for general secondary ....

In the cadet corps under the first leader it was accepted “ make me memorize the task, and then asked the cadet what she had learned", With I.I. Betscom " it should be easy for children to learn, without any compulsion»…

F.E. Anhalt believed that “ you need to be cadets "a gentle mother who, moving away the thorns, leads her pet through the colors", walked with them in the building park, arranged a library, a small botanical garden and an art gallery at the building ", and the next head of the corps, M.I. Kutuzov, strengthened the teaching of military disciplines and considered the main goal to raise officers for service in the army ...

In the "new school" of the 1920s, grades and subjects were canceled - and ten years later, discipline and unconditional subordination of students became the most important value for the school ...

What to do, the authors say, the history of education in Russia is inseparable from the history of Russia as a whole, and the personality of the leader is of paramount importance. Therefore, it is absolutely logical that one cannot do with a story about gymnasiums and wrote without the image of alternately standing "at the helm", from Peter I to M. Gorbachev (the portrait resemblance of the rulers is sometimes quite schematic, and someone - Peter III, N. Khrushchev - was especially unlucky, or, rather, lucky - they are significantly prettier than they were in life).

The influence of top officials on the educational process on a national scale is so great that the teachers themselves, even the most outstanding ones, are left to implement the reforms proposed from above with minimal damage to students. This is probably why the book contains no paragraphs about the reformers K. Ushinsky, A. Makarenko and others.

I would like to believe that the target group, the intended audience - Russian schoolchildren living and receiving education already in the 21st century, will learn that good intentions, even multiplied by almost unlimited administrative and financial resources, unfortunately, do not guarantee the fulfillment of what was conceived: The gymnasiums were not the only educational institution that Alexander I planned to establish, but the only one that he managed to open ...<…> there were too few parish schools opened, and county schools did not open at all.Moreover, they do not guarantee happiness and well-being.

And new reforms in the field of education (and where can we go without them?) Will take into account the rich experience of their predecessors and the main goal of the reformers will be to grow gullible, like clay in the hands of a potter, trusting first-graders - well-educated, decent people.

Katarina Gulevskaya

The reader writes:

My son is 12 years old and recently it turned out that he regularly (several days in a row) skips school. In the morning I feed him breakfast, send him to school, go to work myself, and he walks for about two to three hours, then comes home as if from class, does his homework every evening, collects his portfolio, and in the morning instead of school we walk again ... Began to find out - why? There is only one answer: I don’t want to!
He has no problems with teachers; on the contrary, he is a "favorite of the public," and with his classmates too. He promised that this would not happen again, "swore and swore," I myself began to accompany him to school, truancy stopped. But yesterday I had to go to work early and sent him alone - again I didn't get it! In the evening, looking into my eyes, he claims to have been to school. And again promises, tears, "I won't be anymore." In the morning she again took him to school like a first grader by the hand. What can be done in such a situation? And there is no trust in the child, it's hard for him and for me, every evening I have to ask whether I was at school or not, call my classmates, check.

What to do?

It happens that the matter is different: for example, your child has a conflict with classmates or with a teacher. This situation is more complicated, sometimes advice from M. Kravtsova's article "A child outcast in the classroom (advice to teachers and parents)" will help, and sometimes it is easier to change schools than to change the situation in a particular school.

The most radical step in this direction is to stop taking your child to school altogether and start homeschooling. The reader writes:

If a child is not interested in developing and learning something new, this is a very, very serious "bell". And he rings that this desire (absolutely natural, inherent in every person from birth) is already suppressed in the child. By whom? A school that does not give joy, and parents who insist on such a school. Who needs this kind of education? A child who is sent to school from year to year, checked his lessons, scolded for his marks, does not need to study initially. Only his parents need it. Everyone did not want to trudge to school in the morning, but they went and SAT AT THE DESK AND MAKED A LOOK THAT they studied. Don't lie to yourself. Although - not right, they studied! Learned hypocrisy. This is called "we were bent, now we are bent" ... the cycle of sado-maso ... And to open this vicious circle? Weak?

Note "" ": despite the categorical nature, there is a grain of truth in this opinion. See →

It is clear that the smartest parents begin to take care of all this much earlier, bring up real independence in the child even before school and teach the child to go to school from the first grade. There is an excellent rule: "In the first grade, you need to sit and study with your child. Teach - all the rest of the years the child will study on his own, and you will be free. If in the first grade you decide that the child should show independence and lessons - his business, business will end with the fact that starting from the second grade you will do all the lessons with your child for all subsequent years. " Teach your child to learn, and he will enjoy learning!

A happy reader writes:

My son is also 10 years old. Daughters 12. From the second grade they study for themselves and for themselves. They themselves collect their portfolios, deal with the teachers themselves, if they forgot to bring something, they themselves correct "2" for the notebooks left at home, prepare the form the next day, themselves monitor the presence of clean shirts in the closet, dress themselves, take a shower and brush their teeth in general with 5 years old, write homework themselves, learn them from classmates themselves, if they forgot to write them down, teach their own lessons, receive and correct deuces themselves, if they have not learned, etc. But no one had a desire not to go to school. On the contrary, if you study FOR YOURSELF, then you have a MOTIVATION to study well - to get knowledge, to go to college in order to get the profession you want, etc. Moreover, even if for this you have to make some conscious sacrifices, for example, learn math or history, which you don't like.

Gleb's letter

Hello, my name is Gleb, I am 13 years old. I'm already worn out from school, I'm very tired. On the one hand, I understand that it is necessary to study. History (a subject deeply hated to me, by the way), for example, is needed to understand the mistakes of states and make the right decisions. And so with everything. All this, as I am told, can be useful to me in life. But this is tantamount to the fact that I collect bottles on the street, they say, extra money will not hurt, but you can do without it. In short, I have a lot of deep thoughts on this topic. But I'll tell you briefly. I appreciate and love knowledge. BUT! At school I am forced to study, I am bored, a lot of time is wasted, the peculiarities of children are not taken into account, they are not tried to understand and hear, the school develops one-sidedly. Mountains of material, stress, violence, etc. The list is endless. I myself read a lot, do karate, in general, a normal person. But I cannot make a decision about studying ... Many subjects are not given to me and they are very boring. What to do?

Answer to Gleb

Ch. Elena, psychologist, graduate

Hello, Gleb!

Judging by a fairly competent letter, it is clear that you are a reading and thinking person. Therefore, I want to give you really good advice.

But! I ask you to respect my advice. Respectfully - this means reading, choosing, not to argue with, but with what to agree. Maybe put it off for an hour or a day and read it again. And the most important thing is to put it into practice.

In general, the most important thing in life is to act. You see the shortcomings of school education and can complain vividly and figuratively about them. I can see too. Many people see. Many people complain. But those who do something to change the situation are respected. They are Winners in life. I call such people Creators.

Now here's a tip.

I offer you an experiment. Psychological experiment on yourself. There is a whole series of experiments invented by psychologists for schoolchildren who are bored at school. They are described in L. Soloveichik's book "". I'll tell you right away: if you've read it, good. The faster you can move from reading to work, to action, to experimentation.

If you haven't read it, I envy you a little. Interesting, bright and lively written, this book contains a number of tasks for you. From the first to start with: love the story and (if necessary) correct the grades in this subject. To a high, truly ambitious, practically challenge: to raise the level of education and culture of your class, your friends.

It seems to me that the challenge is what you need. The life of adolescents in our country today is safe and easy. You are treated like children and protected from difficulties. But without difficulties there will be no victories - you know this well thanks to karate lessons. Knowing yourself, who you are, how you can be, is possible only in real, difficult work, in action.

And the last - if you can report the results of the experiment, it will be great.

The need to change schools can be very frustrating. Everything is new, and you don't even know where the classes will take place. In addition, it is not so easy to make friends with new guys, because most of the students already have their own companies. But do not despair: it is quite possible to easily fit into a new team! It will be easier for you to make friends if you gain self-confidence, become a more open person, and start participating in all activities.

Steps

Part 1

Self-confidence

Take a deep breath and relax. Do not worry. Remember that you are not the only one who wants to make new friends. It may be that companies will already be formed in your new school, but there are always a few people who also want to make friends with someone. Don't push yourself.

Maybe you won't have as many friends in your new school as you did in your last one - that's fine. Over time, your popularity at school will experience ups and downs - this is not your fault.

Take the time to think about your qualities. It will be much easier for you to make new friends if you understand how good friends are. Write down your merits, this list should always be at your fingertips so that you can look at it any time you feel not very confident.

Ask a question. Obviously, you will want to get to know each other and tell people a little about yourself. However, if you ask people about themselves, they will feel that they are interesting to you, and this is the beginning of a friendship.

Make someone nice. Take a new friend's place. Say hello to him in the hallway. Congratulations on your good grade. Compliment: "I love your shoe / bag so much." These simple steps work wonders!

Don't force. Even if you make every effort, you will be a kind and open person, not every acquaintance will want to make friends with you. Everyone has their own reasons. It could be something completely simple, like a lack of common interests. If you feel that the person does not want to be friends with you (or he tells you about it directly), do not pursue him. You cannot force people to be friends with you.

Part 3

Be socially active

Take the first step. Anywhere (for example, in the locker room or in the yard), you can find a person with whom you have a lot in common. You just need to know how to get acquainted. To do this, start a conversation, smile, compliment the person, introduce yourself and tell where you came from. You never know where you can meet a great friend.

Participate in extracurricular activities. It doesn't really matter what it will be: a theater group, a hobby club or a sports game. This will give you the opportunity to meet new people that you will see regularly - two essential aspects of any friendship. In addition, participating in various activities gives you the opportunity to meet people who love the same thing as you.

Try to find other newbies. Chances are, you're not the only newcomer. At the very least, you will definitely have one thing in common: you both find yourself in an unfamiliar environment. Since both of you are new, it shouldn't be difficult for you to get to know each other and make friends. Tell us about your past school, about your new school, about your successes, about your opinion about some subjects. You will definitely find something in common!

When choosing your seat, try to sit in the center of the class. This is much more likely to be noticed (rather than sitting in the front or behind). Plus, you will have the opportunity to communicate with people. Most likely, you will be put together with someone to prepare a school project.

It will take some time. Don't be discouraged if you don't make friends on your first day at your new school - it's okay. Building friendships is time consuming, and it's important to find the right people for you. Don't give up, over time you will find people who will become your friends.

Do not immediately try to "join" a new class, gradually get to know and communicate with people. We hope the new team will receive you quickly.
Remembering the name of the person you recently met when meeting will show that this person is interesting to you. Don't worry if you forget about it. Just carefully ask his name and try to remember it so that next time you call this person by name.
Don't judge or be rude to others, even if they are rude to you.
Once you make friends with someone, try to get to know the friends of the new friend.
Don't listen to rumors and gossip about other people. Get to know them personally and find out for yourself who they really are. Don't listen to what others have to say about them.
Humor is great. Tell a new acquaintance a joke or a joke, but it should be harmless. An offensive joke will definitely not help you make friends with the person.
If you don't have the guts to invite someone to spend time together over the weekend, sign up for basketball or soccer so you can chat with other guys. As soon as the guys realize that it is fun and interesting to be with you, they will most likely invite you to go somewhere.
If someone is being laughed at or bullied, stand up! That way, the other guys will understand that you can be trusted. Perhaps next time they will intercede for you.
Be kind to people, even if you don't really like the person at first glance.
If you really have problems with the new team, if you feel depressed, seek help. A counseling session will help you feel ten times better, and will also restore your self-confidence and your ability to communicate with other people.
A psychologist or teacher will be happy to introduce you to other students in your class.

Warnings

Once you become friends with someone, do not direct the conversation in one direction. If the person shows they don't want to discuss a topic, respect their decision.
Try to be close to family and old friends. You may find it helpful to make friends outside of school so that you have someone to hang out with.
When you make new friends, do not try to command and be capricious, because no one will like it if they begin to tell him what to do.