Foreigners about Russian mothers and children. Babushka and pink tutu

Europeans see us in rose-colored light, while Africans see us in black and white

Despite the decades that have passed since the fall of the Iron Curtain, Russia is still a terra incognita for a foreigner. And our citizens evoke a range of different feelings among foreigners - including our manner of celebrating the New Year. An Irishman, an Iranian, an African and an American who visited Russia candidly shared with us their observations regarding our moral character, family structure, everyday habits and state of mind (before and after the celebration). Thanks to their frankness, we can see ourselves, our loved ones, through their eyes. After all, it’s always useful to look at yourself from the outside and listen to what our neighbors think of us?

Daisel L. Frederick, South Africa.

Residents of Dublin did not hesitate to speak the truth to our faces (John Murray, 52 years old, came to make a documentary about Moscow, and 20 years ago he studied at); Tehran (Behruz Bahadorifar, 34 years old, married to a Russian for several years); South African Durban (Daizel L. Frederick, 29 years old, studied in Moscow for a year, but could not stand the climate and is now leaving) and New York (Harold Jones, 63 years old, in Moscow for the first time on a month-long business trip).

A look at our women...

From Ireland:- Many Russian girls seemed somehow uptight to me. It’s as if everything is the opposite with them: at first she’s shy, and you can’t even get a word out of her... And then suddenly she makes the closest contact, and a day later she expects to marry you! This is especially noticeable at parties, of which there are many everywhere in Moscow in December - both in offices and in restaurants. Our girls, on the contrary, can laugh, sit with men in a pub, and behave very freely, but this does not mean that she will want to continue the party with one of them. And if he suddenly wants to, he will say so. And the Russian woman first says, “I’m not who you take me for!?” - and then goes straight to bed. It is very noticeable from Russian women that they are looking for a husband, and not just a guy for leisure. In this sense, I even envy Russian men: among our girls, getting married is no longer fashionable. Besides, even if an Irish woman ends up being your wife, it won’t be a big deal! They are very characteristic and demanding, and we do not encourage divorce, and you can lose everything in it - health, nerves, and everything acquired through backbreaking labor, as you say. And Russian girls, it seems to me, see Europeans in too much of a rosy light - here, too, not everything is perfect everywhere. I noticed that your girls often have naively rosy impressions of family life relationships with Europeans are built on films and tourist trips. But this is not life, but outdoor advertising.

John Murray, Ireland.

From Iran:- Your girls are very beautiful, but it seems to me that they don’t know their worth! With us, such a beauty would sit at home and wait for the prince to woo her! And yours run after young people and forgive them everything. Wives, as far as I can see, forgive their husbands a lot in life, but they can also raise their voices at him in front of strangers. With us it’s the other way around: in the house main woman- mother, wife, she is very demanding of her husband, but swearing at him in front of others means terribly humiliating him. But all the same, your women, in my opinion, are somehow ingenuous - and they harm themselves. Yours also love to work; ours don’t work that much. And some Russian women work even on December 31, although in Russia on this day you need to prepare for a feast, and it is a woman’s job to prepare all those numerous snacks that you usually put on the table. At the same time, unlike ours, a Russian woman can wear anything at home, but she will make a complete mess if she needs to go out to the store.

From South Africa:- For some reason, most Russian girls prefer black in clothes, even in summer. But at the same time, in winter, many people are dressed inappropriately for the weather and the occasion: for example, thin tights in the cold and jewelry in the morning. Moscow parties, although on New Year's Eve should be rather carnival-like (with the exception of spontaneous ones in a hostel or at someone's house), seemed to me too pretentious, and the girls seemed cold, arrogant and somehow tired. I was also struck by the abundance of all-female groups in expensive karaoke clubs: dressed up girls come in groups, order a table, a minimum of food, and sing. It is clear that they are not lesbians. But as soon as you come up to meet them, they give an angry rebuff - and continue singing with tense faces. I still don’t understand why they go to such expensive establishments if not to have fun? Sing for each other?

From USA:- Outwardly, Russian women differ from ours in their clothing style: they dress carefully and smartly every day, and not just when they go on a visit or to the theater, like ours. At the same time, Russians are clearly less confident in themselves. Everyone - even the most homely American woman - expects respect from men and her husband, in particular, and knows that caring for children will never become her only problem. And Russian girls - despite the fact that more American women are focused specifically on legal marriage - do not hesitate to date married men. I know this both from the stories of Russian men who are proud that in addition to their wife they have a young mistress, and from the girls themselves. For Americans family problems It’s easier to decide, so they don’t feel afraid of not getting married at all or getting divorced. For American women, the most important thing is to have own life- interests, social circle, self-esteem, income. And a Russian woman sacrifices her life to her husband and often takes care of him until a very old age, and then becomes a free nanny for her grandchildren.

...for family, children and school...

From Ireland:- It was amazing that Russian children love hamburgers much more than American ones, and sushi - more than Japanese ones. I was also surprised that children after 18 remain to live with their parents, and some even bring their wives or husbands to the parental home - this is not customary in our country.

From :- Dogs and cats are often kept in apartments. And often large dogs or several cats. People in Iran also love animals, but this is unthinkable for us. Big dog can only live in the yard if you have a large private house. The cat also needs to be able to go out for a walk. When I asked why to have pets in such cramped conditions, many parents answered that they could not refuse their children. But despite the fact that often mothers and fathers indulge even the child’s excessive whims, they can shout at their offspring in public places - this is unthinkable!

From South Africa:- It seems to me that Russian children play very little outdoor games - for example, you rarely see boys kicking a ball on the street. Parents do not allow their children to walk outside, but they do allow them to sit for hours in front of the TV and at the computer. It’s also strange and unusual that parents, and especially grandparents, force their children to eat. Why force it if the child doesn’t want to?

From :- In Russian families, it is customary to compare which of the children studies better, behaves, etc. Americans have a different approach: they praise everyone equally, a lot and often. In the United States, their goal is to develop independence and self-sufficiency in children. It seems to me that American children are, as a result, more cheerful and lively than Russians. In America, a child learns almost from birth: he has the right to choose. Thus, in American schools, children do not all study according to the same curriculum: everyone chooses the subjects that he likes.

Harold Jones, USA.

...to our realities, manners and habits...

From Ireland:- I noticed that Russians do not know how or do not like to make superficial acquaintances. For them, people are divided into “strangers”, with whom it is not customary to talk, and “friends”, whom you can wake up in the middle of the night and dump all your problems on them. And there seems to be no middle ground in the form of simply polite, non-binding communication. Therefore, apparently, to a simple “How are you?” Russians silently and suspiciously look at you if you are not familiar to them yet - like, for what purpose are you interested? It often happened that I was introduced to Muscovites and they seemed somehow dissatisfied and tense. And then that evening they invited me to their house, and it was clear that they were carefully preparing for my visit. There we drank together and began to be “friends” - sharing everything, laughing, singing and dancing. And before drinking together, Russians apparently find it difficult to relax with a stranger.

I was also amazed by the queues for the bus. While waiting for the bus, people stand in such a way that each of them can safely hula hoop without the risk of hitting a neighbor. Simply violating the so-called personal space is indecent and uncomfortable. And in Moscow people support each other, push each other with their elbows, breathe in their faces.

From South Africa:- It’s surprising that when the streets are clogged with traffic, Russians prefer huge SUVs! Moscow has a beautiful metro, but for some reason riding in it is considered unprestigious. But on the subway almost everyone reads - this is also surprising! I was also surprised by the doors: in Russia, many open inward. For what? Bathing habits are also not for the faint of heart: from the steamy winter - and straight into the snow! This can give you pneumonia in no time!

From USA:- The road from the airport, contrary to the stories, surprised good quality- but the Moscow traffic jam turned out to be even worse than I had heard about it. We got into it for a good couple of hours, and all sorts of Bentleys, Porsches and other luxury cars were languishing in traffic around us. The Moscow vehicle fleet amazes with its wealth. And it’s hard for me to believe that some people buy such luxury cars with their last money or even on credit. But I have heard more than once that the Russians do exactly this. At the same time, they can calmly ignore many rules - both for the operation of the car and for their own safety.

...on our food, drinking habits and New Year in Russian

From Ireland:- The manner of receiving guests in the kitchen seemed strange - especially when something was being prepared there at the same time. And in general, do several things at the same time. With us, if you have agreed to meet with friends or invited them to your place, then you drop everything else and take care of them. Russians can invite guests and, while communicating with them, at the same time do some household chores or talk on the phone. They can also have a long conversation about business in front of everyone, for example, at a table in a restaurant. But at the same time, such a meeting will be somehow regulated in time. For Russians, such gatherings last, as they say, “from the fence until lunch”: it seems that the owner is busy with his own affairs and, while drinking with you, communicates with members of the household, does homework with the child, talks on the phone, but as soon as you get ready to leave - he immediately gets offended. They also drink whiskey from glasses, and vodka from glasses. And the completely barbaric custom of drinking strong alcohol with soda or juice! I was invited to a Russian family for the New Year, but, to be honest, I was just scared! As I imagined that they would not let me leave the table and the apartment until the morning, and that it would be inconvenient to run away at 2 a.m., I chose to refuse altogether. It’s hard for me to imagine a stormy holiday until the morning in a small apartment where there are children. After all, children will need to sleep, and adults will make noise and listen to music. And if one of the household members gets tired and wants to lie down, he will have to endure until all the guests leave. And I’m afraid I won’t be able to eat and drink all night long.

From Iran:- We have a lot of similar utensils and dishes - samovar, cauldron, kebab, tea, yogurt. We also like to add garlic to our food, but we don’t eat it raw. Your food is very tasty, but, in my opinion, it’s too greasy, and you don’t use much spices. In Iran New Year called Novruz and is celebrated at the end of March for a week. We also cook a lot of dishes and go on walks as a family. But in general, of course, Novruz is like spring holiday, looks different - we don’t drink alcohol and prefer picnics in nature.

Behrouz Bahadorifar, Iran.

From USA:- Russians set the table for any occasion. Moreover, the abundance of food is simply off the charts: both alcohol and provisions - everything is bought in abundance. Also, the Russians (no offense to their hospitality) stuff you very obsessively. They ask: “Do you want to eat?” You answer: “No, thanks, I’m full.” And they start: “How about some soup? Well, at least a sandwich?” Or do they think I'm hiding my hunger out of modesty? Americans are not known for such delicacy: if they are hungry, they will agree to eat with joy. Americans love to eat, but this has nothing to do with friendly visits to someone's home. People in America come to visit not to eat, but to socialize. In our country, Christmas is celebrated with family, and in New Year's Eve people go outside - every city has a special New Year's place. In , for example, many people go to Times Square. Bringing alcohol there and drinking it is strictly prohibited; those who want to drink at the same time watch the action on TV - from a bar or from home. Russians now also walk around the city center on New Year's Eve, but it is difficult to find sober people among them. But most of all I'm afraid of your fireworks! Recently I was invited to a dacha near Moscow. Forest, air, lovely hosts. But after the barbecue with vodka, they decided to set off fireworks! It was some kind of Armageddon! These explosive devices smoked and stank like TNT bombs! Maybe they are of poor quality? I began to say - this is dangerous, there may be a fire and injuries. But intelligent owners country house They just laughed at me and said that this would happen all over Moscow on New Year’s Eve! What a blessing that by this moment I will already be flying home!

Personal observations and attitude towards foreigners

From Ireland:- Your people know how to do a lot with their own hands - men can fix everything themselves, even cars, and women sew, knit, heal, cook. This is good, but it seems to me that this “lot of knowledge” is sometimes to the detriment of the main task and makes you scatter yourself. Everyone here understands politics, medicine and education and spends a lot of time on empty arguments about this... It’s also funny that on the streets the smile of a passer-by for no reason alarms Russians, but in online communication they, on the contrary, abuse emoticons. Not a single Irishman, for example, will put three emoticons in a row after a simple phrase like “I’m at work.” And the Russian will deliver. And the girl will also stick a heart on it. That is, Russians are more emotional on the Internet than in real life.

From Iran:“With us, if a guest asks for directions, people will definitely stop, explain in detail and even show us. Everyone is in a hurry to get somewhere, and no one has a minute to even say a word. Perhaps Russians are simply busier people than Iranians.

From USA:- The way Russians buy almost luxury items with their last money or on credit - cars, watches, jewelry - is amazing. Girls who don’t even have their own home or a permanent job buy expensive branded clothes and handbags to look expensive. For Russians, saving electricity and water is considered a shameful penny-pinching - even if they live on a meager salary. Another strange habit is to accumulate rubbish on balconies for decades, and in the summer to drag it many miles to litter the dacha. Russians never throw away plastic bags, and put them in a separate bag. Some choose the prettier one and walk the streets with it. In New York, you can also see women with bright branded bags in their hands, but this means that the lady has just left the store. There are many security guards in Moscow, with weapons, in shops, museums, restaurants, offices and even churches! In churches where, according to the very idea, no crime is possible! The abundance of armed guards in Moscow makes you feel like a potential criminal!

It’s an amazing thing - Russians don’t like America as a whole, but they treat individual Americans who come to Russia well. In general, I came to the conclusion that an American cannot understand Russians. But the average American doesn’t care about incomprehensible Russia. The average American is concerned about the loan for the house, salary, the question of where to have a picnic for the coming weekend and where to go on vacation - but not the fate of Russia.

A recent scandalous article about how unpopular the nimble “Russian Natashas” are now among foreigners is built precisely on these stereotypes: women from Russia supposedly dream not of a companion as such, but only of a ring, a stamp and material support, forcing their spouse to support their relatives, manipulated, capricious, do not allow fathers to raise children, do not know how to build partnerships and enjoy life. The article was soon deleted as offensive, but, as they say, the residue remained.

A heated discussion ensued on the Internet, and Dni.Ru decided to look into this issue using the example of Italy, where there are especially many such international unions. What do people in Europe really think about us and how do Russian wives themselves assess their situation? Further - only facts and only direct speech.

Julia (journalist) and Davide (engineer)

Have known each other for more than 5 years, married since 2013

Julia:"The assertion that all Russian girls marry foreigners mainly for status married woman, seems deeply unfair and offensive to me. Cases vary, but if we talk about myself, I got married at 33, and this was by no means the first marriage proposal I received. You need to understand that marriage with a European in most cases implies a partnership, that is, you jointly earn money, but equally take care of the children and household. For me personally, this model of relationship is optimal because it allows me to maintain personal freedom and be independent, but at the same time not carry the house on my own, which is what I have always feared in the standard model of marriage.

Girls who married Europeans and moved to their husband’s homeland have to work even more in Europe than in Russia

Girls who believe that, having married a European, they will not think about the family budget, as a rule, do not even get to the wedding. Their enthusiasm usually fades when, during a joint vacation, they are first asked to split the cost of a hotel or dinner. As my experience shows, all generally successful girls who married Europeans and moved to their husband’s homeland have to work even more in Europe than in Russia in order to maintain their usual standard of living. Most of our girls are extremely smart, because they have to communicate in several languages, adapt to another country, work, and sometimes invent and create their own business from scratch, because in Europe work is tight.”

Davide:"Girls all over the world have a desire to get married, not just Russians. My only experience with the only Russian I married suggests rather the opposite. Is a Russian woman capricious? Yes! Hunting for money? This is common here in Italy stereotype about girls from Eastern Europe, fortunately this is not my case at all.

Being the husband of a Russian girl is a challenge, a good opportunity to test yourself

As a family, we share expenses equally; we have a joint “home economy.” Of course, I am a man and a gentleman, but I am not the only breadwinner in the family. I don’t think that a Russian woman would tolerate a bad husband just to “carry her cross.” If she doesn’t like something, she’ll send her away and find a new husband – richer, younger and more beautiful. Is a Russian attached to her family? We live in Italy, I saw her parents maybe twice in Moscow. Damn it, I myself want to go to her parents, in Moscow, to see San Sanych and Natalya! Does a Russian woman not know how to enjoy life? You have a different mentality. Idleness is not held in high esteem; it’s better to work two or three jobs in order to buy the bag you like or go on your dream vacation – and then enjoy life there. In Italy we want to be able to relax every day – a little bit at a time. But the life of Russians (and men too) is work and work, and then total relaxation for two or three weeks at sea.

Being the husband of a Russian girl is a challenge, a good opportunity to test yourself. You always test us in one way or another: work, reading books, going to the theater - we always have to be in shape. And this is good, because otherwise we, poor Italians, will remain lazy on the couch in front of the TV. And with Yulia I have enough interesting activities: photography, video, sports."

Ekaterina (logistics specialist) and Alfio (engineer)

Married since 2004

Catherine:“Alfio and I met in Moscow when he came to the city for work. We lived in Russia for three years, our daughter was born there. Then, at his request, we moved to Sicily. I didn’t really want to move, I had work and a settled life at home But I kept my job, I work here for a Moscow office, I get a good salary, by local standards. I study at the university, next year I plan to defend my diploma and, perhaps, I will start looking for a job here.

In the future, I definitely want to continue working; I don’t want to be completely dependent on my husband, although, naturally, he contributes more to the family budget. I mainly take care of the child. My husband often travels on business trips around the world, but when he is here, he tries to spend time with his daughter. Often I myself insist that he help me take her to school, pick her up, take her somewhere else - I can’t keep up with everything with work and school. In short, I always encourage him to participate more in his upbringing, and do not take away his opportunity to be a good father.

There is no easy money in Europe, and no one here will waste it

If we talk about the situation as a whole, I think it’s true that Russian women want a husband, stability, to be dressed and shod by their husband, and not just their own money, and they don’t want to work for everyone, as is often the case in Russia. Some of our girls still believe that marrying a foreigner will solve all their problems and raise their status.

But in general, all these traits are characteristic of Russian women with Russian husbands. Once in Europe, they quickly understand that there are different relationships in the family and in society, nothing is given for nothing. You have to solve problems together, and raise your status yourself, sometimes starting your career all over again. Often middle-income husbands work hard and save. The average European incurs fairly high costs for housing, taxes, food and education – for himself and his children. There is no easy money, and no one here will waste it."

Alfio:“Russians dreaming of a ring, but a husband is the next thing? This is not entirely true. Marriage for a woman, and not only for a Russian, is very important, but it would be a mistake to think that she is only interested in the stamp in her passport. I fundamentally disagree with the fact that a Russian woman is a manipulator and a money hunter. My personal experience is completely different. My wife is very proud, she values ​​​​her independence and is very reluctant to take my money, much less force me to support her family.

I fundamentally disagree that a Russian woman is a manipulator and a money hunter

A Russian woman who takes the upbringing of children only on herself, not letting her husband in - such situations happen, but, again, this applies not only to Russians. In any case, this is possible against the background of already deteriorated relationships, when the marriage is cracking. In the normal state of affairs, a woman does not need to manipulate and raise children alone. Are Russians incapable of being happy? Not true. I think that a Russian woman actively explores the world and is always ready for new experiences, travel and discoveries."

Elena (linguist) and Alessandro (lawyer)

Together for 2.5 years, planning a wedding

Elena:“I’ve been in a relationship with an Italian for two and a half years. Alessandro lives in Italy, I live in Russia, we’ve been trying to launch a joint international project for two years, but so far to no avail. Together (if we can call our relationship that way with a difference of four thousand kilometers) love. His money interests me very little (although a number of things - the same air tickets once every two or three months - we can only afford at his expense), his professional and social fulfillment is much more important to me. In principle, I don’t know how to manipulate at least consciously. From my own experience I realized that I personally am not interested in long-term “relationships”, but in a family that should live in the same house and have dinner together, I should understand what I work for and what world I am in. It’s a stretch. write it down as “lust for wife status.”

Women for whom it is important to simply be married usually do not reach foreign husbands - it is too difficult and time-consuming

In general, women for whom it is important to simply be married usually do not reach out to foreign husbands - it is too difficult and time-consuming. But if there is a real relationship, “get married” - yes, this is important. It’s like a joint project: imagine that you are offered to work, but without drawing up a contract, without defining the scope of work and without deadlines. Will you have a lot of motivation to invest? At the startup stage, it is quite possible. But how long will you last like this?"

Alessandro:“Russian women for me are true lovers of beauty with good taste and an inexhaustible thirst for knowledge, responsible, reliable, and pragmatic in a good way. According to my observations, they are excellent mothers, this is best seen by the level of politeness and good manners of their children. I never believed into the myth of the insidious "Eastern woman", ingrained in the heads of people from the West - often provincials who have never traveled outside their town. To call Russian women husband hunters and eternal victims of circumstances, in my opinion, is great stupidity.

Ring hunters and patient “sufferers” can be found in other countries

In principle, it is difficult for a European to understand the scale of Russia’s territory. When we say “Russian woman,” we must understand that we are talking about a country stretching from Europe to the Pacific Ocean, with 145 million inhabitants, most of whom are women. So which one exactly do we mean when we apply labels? Surely, among them there will be ring hunters and patient “sufferers” - just like in other countries - this phenomenon is widespread throughout the world. Here another question arises: how mature and conscious can a man (Russian, Italian or American) be called who allows himself to be drawn into such games? How much of this is the banal immaturity and ignorance of one person who cannot or does not want to truly understand the other?”

Hans, 11 years old, German. I don't want to be "German"!

The game of war itself jarred and even frightened me. I saw that Russian children were playing it enthusiastically even from the window of our new house in a large garden on the outskirts. It seemed crazy to me that boys 10-12 years old could play killing with such passion. I even talked about this with Hans’s class teacher, but quite unexpectedly, after listening to me carefully, she asked if Hans plays computer games with shooting and do I know what is shown on the screen? I was confused and couldn’t find an answer. At home, I mean, in Germany, I was not very happy with the fact that he sat a lot with such toys, but at least he was not drawn to the street, and I could be calm for him. Besides, a computer game is not reality, but here everything happens to living children, doesn’t it? I even wanted to say this, but suddenly I acutely felt that I was wrong, for which I also did not have words. Class teacher looked at me very carefully, but kindly, and then said softly and confidentially: “Listen, it will be unusual for you here, understand. But your son is not you, he is a boy, and if you don’t stop him from growing up, like the people here children, then nothing bad will happen to him - unless it’s also just unusual. But in fact, bad things, I think, are the same both here and in Germany." It seemed to me that these were wise words, and I calmed down a little.

Before, my son had never played war or even held a toy weapon in his hands. I must say that he did not often ask me for any gifts, being content with what I bought for him or what he himself bought with his pocket money. But then he very persistently began to ask me for a toy machine gun, because he doesn’t like playing with strangers, although one boy he really likes gives him a weapon - he named the boy, and I disliked this new friend in advance. But I didn’t want to refuse, especially since, having sat through the calculations from the very beginning, I realized an amazing thing: life in Russia is cheaper than here, it’s just that its external surroundings and some kind of carelessness and unkemptness are very unusual. On the May weekend (there are several of them) we went shopping; new friend Hansa joined us, and I was forced to change my opinion about him, although not immediately, because he appeared barefoot, and on the street, walking next to the boys, I was taut like a string - it seemed to me every second that we were now They’ll just detain me, and I’ll have to explain that I’m not this boy’s mother. But despite him appearance, he turned out to be very well-mannered and cultured. In addition, in Australia I saw that many children also walk around in something like this.

The purchase was made with knowledge of the matter, with a discussion of weapons and even trying them on. I felt like the leader of a gang. In the end, we bought some kind of pistol (the boys called it, but I forgot) and a machine gun, exactly the same as what our German soldiers used in the last World War. Now my son was armed and could take part in hostilities.

Later I found out that fighting At first he was given a lot of grief. The fact is that Russian children have a tradition of dividing into teams in this game with the names of real peoples - as a rule, those with whom the Russians fought. And, of course, it is considered honorable to be “Russian”; due to the division into teams, fights even break out. After Hans brought his new weapon of such a characteristic look into the game, he was immediately recorded as a “German”. I mean, into Hitler's Nazis, which, of course, he didn't want.

They objected to him, and from a logical point of view it was quite reasonable: “Why don’t you want to, you’re German!” "But I'm not that German!" - my unfortunate son screamed. He had already watched several very unpleasant films on television and, although I understand that what was shown there is true, and we are actually to blame, it is difficult to explain this to an eleven-year-old boy: he flatly refused to be “that” German.

Hans, and the whole game, was helped out by that same boy, my son’s new friend. I convey his words as Hans conveyed them to me - apparently, verbatim: “Then you know what?! We will all fight together against the Americans!”
This is a completely crazy country. But I like it here, and so does my boy.

Max, 13 years old, German. Burglary from a neighbor's cellar(not the first burglary on his account, but the first in Russia)

The local police officer who came to us was very polite. This is generally a common thing among Russians - they treat foreigners from Europe timidly, politely, and warily; it takes a lot of time to be recognized as “one of their own.” But the things he said scared us. It turns out that Max committed a CRIMINAL OFFENSE - BURGAL! And we are lucky that he is not yet 14 years old, otherwise the question of a real prison term of up to five years could be considered! That is, the three days that remained before his birthday separated him from the crime of full responsibility! We couldn't believe our ears. It turns out that in Russia, from the age of 14 you can actually go to prison! We regretted coming. To our timid questions - how is it possible, why should a child answer at such an age - the district police officer was surprised, we simply did not understand each other. We are used to the fact that in Germany a child is in a position of super-priority; the maximum that Max would face for this in his old homeland is a preventive conversation. However, the district police officer said that it was unlikely that the court would have given our son a real sentence even after he was 14 years old. prison term; this is very rarely done the first time for crimes not related to an attempt on personal safety. We were also lucky that the neighbors did not write a statement (in Russia this plays a big role - more serious crimes are not considered without a statement from the injured party), and we don’t even have to pay a fine. This surprised us too - the combination of such a cruel law and such a strange position of people who do not want to use it. After hesitating just before leaving, the district police officer asked whether Max was generally prone to antisocial behavior. He had to admit that he was inclined, moreover, he didn’t like it in Russia, but this, of course, is connected with the period of growing up and should go away with age. To which the district police officer noted that the boy should have been torn out after his first prank, and that would be the end of it, and not wait until he grew into a thief. And left.

We were also struck by this wish from the mouth of the law enforcement officer. To be honest, we didn’t even think at that moment how close we were to fulfilling the officer’s wishes.

Immediately after he left, the husband talked to Max and demanded that he go to the neighbors, apologize and offer to work off the damage. A huge scandal began - Max flatly refused to do this. I won’t describe what happened next - after another very rude attack on our son, my husband did exactly as the district police officer advised. Now I realize that it looked and was more funny than it was actually harsh, but at the time it amazed me and shocked Max. When my husband let him go - himself shocked by what he had done - our son ran into the room. Apparently, it was catharsis - it suddenly dawned on him that his father was much stronger physically, that he had nowhere and no one to complain about “parental violence”, that he was REQUIRED to compensate for the damage himself, that he was one step away from a real trial and prison. In the room he cried, not for show, but for real. We sat in the living room like two statues, feeling like real criminals, moreover, taboo breakers. We waited for the demanding knock on the door. Terrible thoughts swarmed in our heads - that our son would stop trusting us, that he would commit suicide, that we had caused him serious mental trauma - in general, a lot of those words and formulas that we had learned in psychotrainings even before Max was born.

Max didn’t come out for dinner and shouted, still in tears, that he would eat in his room. To my surprise and horror, my husband replied that in this case Max wouldn’t get dinner, and if he didn’t sit at the table in a minute, he wouldn’t get breakfast either.

Max came out half a minute later. I've never seen him like this before. However, I didn’t see my husband like that either - he sent Max to wash and ordered, when he returned, to first ask for forgiveness, and then permission to sit at the table. I was amazed - Max did all this, gloomily, without raising his eyes to us. Before he started eating, the husband said: “Listen, son. Russians raise their children this way, and I will raise you this way. The nonsense is over. I don’t want you to go to jail, I think you don’t want it either, and you heard what the officer said. But I also don’t want you to grow up to be an insensitive slacker. And here I don’t care about your opinion. Tomorrow you will go to the neighbors with an apology and you will work where and how they say "Until you work off the amount you deprived them of. Do you understand me?"

Max was silent for several seconds. Then he looked up and answered quietly but clearly: “Yes, dad.”…

...You won’t believe it, but we not only no longer had the need for such wild scenes as the one that took place in the living room after the police officer left—it was as if our son had been replaced. At first I was even afraid of this change. It seemed to me that Max was holding a grudge. And only after more than a month I realized that there was nothing like that. And I also realized a much more important thing. In our house and at our expense lived for many years a small (and no longer very small) despot and slacker who did not trust us at all and did not look at us as friends, as those by whose methods we “raised” him convinced us “He secretly despised us and skillfully used us. And it was we who were to blame for this - we were to blame for behaving with him the way the “authoritative specialists” inspired us to believe. On the other hand, did we have a choice in Germany? No, it wasn’t, I honestly tell myself. There, a ridiculous law stood guard over our fear and Max’s childish egoism. There is a choice here. We did it, and it turned out to be correct. We are happy, and most importantly, Max is really happy. He had parents. My husband and I have a son. And we have a FAMILY.

Mikko, 10 years old, Finnish. Snitched on classmates

Four of his classmates beat him up. As we understood, they didn’t beat us very badly, they knocked us down and hit us with backpacks. The reason was that Mikko came across two of them smoking in the garden behind the school. He was also offered to smoke, he refused and immediately informed the teacher about it. She punished little smokers by taking away their cigarettes and forcing them to wash the floors in the classroom (which in itself amazed us in this story). She didn’t name Mikko, but it was easy to guess who told about them.

The next day Mikko was beaten. Quite a lot. I couldn't find a place for myself. My husband also suffered, I saw it. But to our amazement and Mikko's joy, a day later there was no fight. He ran home very cheerful and excitedly told that he had done as his father ordered, and no one began to laugh, only someone muttered: “Enough, everyone has already heard...” The strangest thing in my opinion is that from that moment on the class He accepted our son completely as his own, and no one reminded him of that conflict.

Zorko, 13 years old, Serbian. About the carelessness of Russians

Zorko really liked the country itself. The fact is that he doesn’t remember what happens when there is no war, explosions, terrorists and other things. He was born just in time Patriotic War 99 and basically lived my whole life behind barbed wire in an enclave, and I had a machine gun hanging over my bed. Two shotguns with buckshot lay on a cabinet near the outer window. Until we registered two guns here, Zorko was in constant anxiety. He was also alarmed that the room’s windows overlooked the forest. In general, to find himself in a world where no one shoots except in the forest while hunting was a real revelation for him. Our eldest girl and younger brother Zorko accepted everything much faster and calmer due to his age.

But what struck and horrified my son most of all was that Russian children are incredibly careless. They are ready to be friends with anyone, as Russian adults say, “as long as the person is good.” Zorko quickly became friends with them, and the fact that he stopped living in constant anticipation of war is mainly their merit. But he never stopped carrying a knife with him, and even with his light hand almost all the boys in his class began to carry some kind of knives with them. Simply because boys are worse than monkeys, imitation is in their blood.

So this is about carelessness. There are several Muslims studying at the school from different nations. Russian children are friends with them. From the very first day, Zorko set a boundary between himself and the “Muslims” - he does not notice them, if they are far enough away, if they are nearby - he bullies, pushes them away in order to go somewhere, sharply and clearly threatens with beatings even in response to an ordinary glance, saying that they have no right to look up at the Serb and the “right-winger” in Russia. Such behavior caused amazement among Russian children; we even had some, although small, problems with the school authorities. These Muslims themselves are quite peaceful, I would even say polite people. I talked to my son, but he answered me that I wanted to deceive myself and that I myself told him that in Kosovo they were also polite and peaceful at first, while there were few of them. He also told Russian boys about this many times and kept repeating that they were too kind and too careless. He really likes it here, he literally thawed out, but at the same time my son is convinced that war awaits us here too. And, it seems, he is preparing to fight in earnest.

Ann, 16 years old and Bill, 12 years old, Americans. What is work?

Offers to work as a babysitter caused people either bewilderment or laughter. Ann was extremely upset and very surprised when I explained to her, having become interested in the problem, that it is not customary for Russians to hire people to supervise children over 7-10 years old - they play on their own, go for walks on their own, and generally outside of school or some kind of clubs and sections left to their own devices. And for the children younger age Most often they are observed by grandmothers, sometimes by mothers, and only for very young children do wealthy families sometimes hire nannies, but these are not high school girls, but women with solid experience who make a living from this.

So my daughter was left without income. A terrible loss. Terrible Russian customs.

Through a short time Bill was hit as well. Russians are a very strange people, they don’t mow their lawns and don’t hire children to deliver mail... The job that Bill found turned out to be “work on a plantation” - for five hundred rubles he spent half a day digging up a hefty vegetable garden with a hand shovel for some nice old lady. What he turned his hands into resembled bloody chops. However, unlike Ann, my son rather reacted to this with humor and already quite seriously noticed that this could become a good business once your hands get used to it, you just need to hang up advertisements, preferably in color. He offered to share with Ann in the weeding—again, manually pulling out the weeds—and they immediately quarreled.

Charlie and Charlene, 9 years old, Americans. Peculiarities of the Russian worldview in rural areas.

Russians have two unpleasant characteristics. The first is that during a conversation they try to grab your elbow or shoulder. The second is that they drink incredibly much. No, I know that in fact many peoples on Earth drink more than Russians. But Russians drink very openly and even with some pleasure.

However, these shortcomings seemed to be made up for by the wonderful area in which we settled. It was simply a fairy tale. True, the settlement itself resembled a settlement from a disaster movie. My husband said that it’s like this almost everywhere here and that you shouldn’t pay attention to it - the people here are good.

I didn't really believe it. And our twins were, it seemed to me, a little frightened by what was happening.

What completely horrified me was that on the very first day of school, when I was just about to pick up the twins in our car (it was about a mile to school), some not-so-sober man in a creepy, half-rusty jeep had already brought them straight to the house. , similar to old Fords. He apologized to me for a long time and in many words for something, referred to some holidays, showered praise on my children, said hello from someone and left. I attacked my innocent little angels, who were vigorously and cheerfully discussing the first day of school, with strict questions: didn’t I tell them enough that they should NEVER DARES EVEN CLOSE TO STRANGERS’ PEOPLE?! How could they get into this man’s car?!

In response, I heard that this was not a stranger, but the head of the school, who has golden hands and whom everyone loves very much, and whose wife works as a cook in the school canteen. I was frozen with horror. I gave my children to a brothel!!! And everything seemed so nice at first glance... Numerous stories from the press about the wild customs reigning in the Russian outback were spinning in my head...

...I won’t intrigue you any further. Life here has been truly wonderful, and especially wonderful for our children. Although I'm afraid I got a lot gray hair because of their behavior. It was incredibly difficult for me to get used to the very idea that my nine-year-old (and ten-year-old, and so on later) children, according to local customs, are considered, first of all, more than independent. They go for walks with the local kids for five, eight, ten hours - two, three, five miles away, into the forest or to a creepy, completely wild pond. That everyone here walks to and from school, and they also soon began to do the same - I simply don’t mention it anymore. And secondly, here children are largely considered common. They can, for example, go with the whole group to visit someone and immediately have lunch - not drink something and eat a couple of cookies, but have a hearty lunch, purely in Russian. In addition, virtually every woman who comes into her sight immediately takes responsibility for other people’s children, somehow completely automatically; For example, I learned to do this only in the third year of our stay here.

NOTHING EVER HAPPENS TO THE CHILDREN HERE. I mean - they are not in any danger from people. From none. In big cities, as far as I know, the situation is more similar to the American one, but here it is true and exactly like that. Of course, children themselves can cause considerable harm to themselves, and at first I tried to somehow control this, but it turned out to be simply impossible. At first I was amazed at how soulless our neighbors were, who, when asked where their child was, answered quite calmly, “He’s running around somewhere, he’ll be there by lunchtime!” Lord, in America this is a judicial matter, such an attitude! It took a long time before I realized that these women were much wiser than me, and their children were much more adjusted to life than mine - at least as they were in the beginning.

We Americans pride ourselves on our skills, abilities, and practicality. But, having lived here, I realized with sadness that this was a sweet self-deception. Maybe it was like that once. Now we - and especially our children - are slaves of a comfortable cage, into the bars of which a current is passed that completely does not allow the normal, free development of a person in our society. If the Russians are somehow weaned off drinking, they will easily and without firing a single shot conquer the entire modern world. I declare this responsibly.

Adolf Breivik, 35 years old, Swede. Father of three children.

The fact that Russian adults can quarrel and make scandals, that under the influence of a hot hand they can blow up a wife, and a wife can whip a child with a towel - BUT AT THE SAME TIME THEY ALL REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER AND THEY FEEL BAD WITHOUT ANOTHER - in the head of a person converted to the standards accepted in our native lands simply do not fit. I won’t say that I approve of this; this is the behavior of many Russians. I do not believe that beating your wife and physically punishing your children is the right way, and I myself have never done this and will not do it. But I just urge you to understand: family here is not just a word. Children run away from Russian orphanages to their parents. From our slyly named “replacement families” - almost never. Our children are so accustomed to the fact that they essentially do not have parents, that they calmly obey everything that any adult does to them. They are not capable of rebellion, escape, or resistance, even when it comes to their life or health - they are accustomed to the fact that they are the property not of the family, but of EVERYONE AT ONCE.

Russian children are running. They often flee into terrifying living conditions. At the same time, in Russian orphanages it is not at all as scary as we are used to imagining. Regular and plentiful meals, computers, entertainment, care and supervision. Nevertheless, escapes “home” are very, very frequent and meet with full understanding even among those who, on duty, return children back to Orphanage. “What do you want?” they say, words that are completely unimaginable for our policeman or guardianship worker. “There’s a HOUSE there.” But we must take into account that in Russia there is not even close to the anti-family tyranny that reigns here. For a Russian child to be taken to an orphanage, it must actually be HORRIBLE in his family of origin, believe me.

It is difficult for us to understand that, in general, a child who is often beaten by his father, but at the same time takes him fishing with him and teaches him to use tools and tinker with a car or motorcycle, can be much happier and in fact much happier than a child whom his father never laid a finger on, but whom he sees for fifteen minutes a day at breakfast and dinner. This will sound seditious to a modern Westerner, but it’s true, believe my experience as a resident of two paradoxical different countries. We tried so hard, at someone’s unkind orders, to create a “safe world” for our children that we destroyed everything human in ourselves and in them. Only in Russia did I really understand, with horror, that all those words that are used in my old homeland, destroying families, are in fact a mixture of utter stupidity, generated by a sick mind and the most disgusting cynicism, generated by the thirst for rewards and the fear of losing one’s place in the guardianship authorities. By talking about "protecting children", officials in Sweden - and not only in Sweden - are destroying their souls. They destroy shamelessly and madly. There I couldn't say it openly. Here I say: my unfortunate homeland is seriously ill with abstract, speculative “children’s rights”, for the sake of which people are killed happy families and living children are maimed.

Home, father, mother - for a Russian these are not just words and concepts. These are words-symbols, almost sacred spells.

It's amazing that we don't have this. We don't feel connected to the place we live in, even a very comfortable place. We don't feel a connection with our children, they don't need a connection with us. And, in my opinion, all this was taken from us on purpose. This is one of the reasons why I came here. In Russia, I can feel like a father and husband, my wife - a mother and wife, our children - beloved children. We are people, free people, and not hired employees of the state limited liability corporation "Family". And it's very nice. It is comfortable purely psychologically. To such an extent that it makes up for a whole bunch of shortcomings and absurdities of life here.

Honestly, I believe that there is a brownie living in our house, left over from the previous owners. Russian brownie, kind. And our children believe in this.

Tanya Mayer moved to Russia from the USA in the 90s. I learned the language and set off to conquer Moscow. Everything turned out relatively well for Tanya: a well-paid job, a romantic relationship... But it didn’t last long: when the man found out about the pregnancy, he chose to simply hide. So she became a single mother in Russia and gained invaluable experience, as it turned out years later. Time passed, Tanya got married, gave birth to two more children and moved to Europe, but her experience of raising a child in Moscow was so memorable and useful that she decided to write a book about it called “Shapka. Babushka. Kefir. How children are raised in Russia."

How did you end up in Russia, how long did you spend here and how often do you come here?
I studied Russian language and economics at Georgetown University in Washington. After graduation, I worked on Wall Street for a year and at some point told my boss that I wanted to go to Moscow.

I stayed here for 8 years - in 2008 I moved to London with my husband. Now we live in Vienna, but I try to come to Moscow at least once a year: I like to watch how the city is changing.

How did you decide to write a book about your experience? What attracted you so much to Russian motherhood?
I am very glad that I wrote this book. I'm not a journalist or a writer, but I enjoy collecting information, analyzing it, and writing. One day one of my Moscow friends added me to a secret group of Russian mothers on Facebook (many of them lived in Moscow, but some were scattered all over the world).

Then I shared the idea of ​​the book with the group and asked the girls if they would agree to tell me about their experience of motherhood. They responded with great enthusiasm and I got to work. I got the feeling that the women I spoke with took great pleasure in sharing their experiences - perhaps because in Russia it is customary to take motherhood seriously. I was probably the first person to ask them to analyze exactly how they were raising their children and why. Talking to the girls was really cool.

How does Russian motherhood generally differ from European and American motherhood?
It seems to me that Russian mothers - no matter where they live: in New York, Moscow or Paris - take their parenting very seriously.

And at the same time, such involvement in parenting does not prevent them from finding time for themselves. Russian women are not victims of motherhood, they enjoy it. They are not afraid to ask for help: in my book many chapters are dedicated to nannies and grandmothers, because in Russia it is customary to raise children together and rely on help different people. In the USA there are mothers who work from home, they are focused on their careers, so they use outside help: mothers plan the lives of their children, but other people implement these plans. There is another type of American mother, housewife. They perceive motherhood as a sport, and the interests of their children often replace all other needs - I think this is not a very healthy tendency. But Russian women manage to combine everything: they are loving mothers and wives, good friends, they make time to take care of themselves. Russian mothers support each other and are less likely to judge other people's choices. And, of course, they are absolutely not lazy.

Is the way maternity leave is organized in Russia more humane or stupid?
Oh, this is very humane! I, as I already said, did not have maternity leave, but it was my own decision: I didn’t want to lose a high position and a good salary. In the US, the standard parental leave is 6 weeks. American mothers work until the 40th week of pregnancy, give birth and return to work after a month and a half, being forced to leave their children in nurseries - nannies are very expensive and not everyone can afford them. This is the terrible reality that most working mothers in the United States face.

In European countries, maternity leave lasts a maximum of 12 months - this, of course, is a dream compared to the American system.

What do you think about Russian kindergartens?
My son was too small for kindergarten when we lived in Moscow.

In the book, I write that such a choice is precisely a Russian peculiarity: in Europe and the USA there are certain educational standards that are supported by the state and society and which almost all parents try to adhere to. But it seems to me that there should be many and different ways of education, because all children are different. In Russia I came across children who did not go to any school until they were seven years old. preschool institutions, and were at the same time very smart and well socialized.

Which superstitions of local moms and dads did you find cute and which were wild?
I love logic, so superstitions generally seem unreasonable to me. What amuses me most is the local idea that cold drinks (especially with ice) can trigger a sore throat or high temperature. I also find it funny to see Russian mothers, like my well-educated friend Sonya, who don’t cut their hair during pregnancy.

What Russian parenting traditions do you think would be good to implement everywhere, and which ones should be abandoned altogether?
Healthy eating, frequent walks with children, early potty training—these are trends in Russian parenting that the entire planet should learn from. But I wouldn’t copy everything: there are days when you can go outside without a hat, and it also seems to me that humanity survives just fine without several courses of baby massage.

So how do they raise children in Russia? Good or bad?
Obviously I'm biased, since I wrote an entire book on this topic. But in general: yes, they raise children very well in Russia! Russian mothers spend so much time thinking about their decisions, reading books, studying information, asking questions and analyzing their own actions, putting so much mental strength into their motherhood! Women all over the world could learn from them. Unfortunately, in Europe and the USA there is still an idea of ​​Russian women as strange glamorous creatures with long red nails.

In Raising children in Russia, through the eyes of foreigners. Why Europe disliked the Russian family

An interesting article about the differences in raising children in Europe and Russia. And how they are trying to change our traditional approach to this issue.

“On the Internet there are quite a few collections of stories from foreigners about their impressions of Russia. Among them was the story of one guy from Sweden who had the opportunity to live with a Russian family. And it made an indelible impression on him.

He made a discovery for himself that in Russia the family still remains as such! According to the Swede, the structure of Russian families still remains patriarchal. Children obey their parents, and those who most amazed a foreigner may even punish their child! Not just to spank him for some offense, but, for example, to scold him, or as punishment, not to let him go out with friends. Or deprive you of your pocket money. All this is simply unacceptable in European countries.

There, for such behavior, parents can easily lose their children altogether, because they dare to encroach on the personal freedom of their child. In this case, any child can complain about irresponsible ancestors, and the state will take the strictest measures against them so that they do not dare to raise their voice in the future or, God forbid, slap them on the head. This generally amounts to a criminal offense.

So, the Swede lamented that they did not have this, that in his homeland they allowed the state to interfere in family affairs. After all, initially Sweden also had a patriarchal structure, where everyone obeyed the head of the family, as the main breadwinner. Now, of course, complete equality reigns in families. And instead of father and mother in Europe and America, after the adoption of laws on same-sex marriage, parents began to be counted by numbers. Number one and number two. And it is still unknown, by the way, who goes under what number.

This is to ensure that there is no harassment based on gender. What if the mother is offended that someone will perceive her as a woman, a representative of the weaker sex, and this is complete discrimination! You say - complete nonsense?! But in the West this is really becoming the norm. Although, it would seem, there is you and your child. And only you are responsible for your child and for what happens in your family! But no, they will tell you, the state is responsible for this, and you are only one of the participants in the process. Moreover, not the most important one.

Of course, there are some advantages to this. There, the father cannot maliciously run away from paying alimony, because according to the law he bears equal responsibility for raising the child and is simply obliged to support him financially until he is 18 years old. And after that, let him be kind enough to support himself.

By the way, what else surprises foreigners about our family foundations is that the vast majority of Russians do not put old people in nursing homes, and do not kick adult children out of their homes. And even if they constrain living conditions, everyone still lives under the same roof.

Still, for Russians, family is the most important thing. These are the roots, the origins, and not everyone wants to let an outsider in there. It is no coincidence that the parents of the country sounded the alarm that all our family traditions can collapse overnight, and they will try to bring them closer to European standards, those about which the guy from Sweden was so sad.

Question to the President

It is clear that Russian parents are not primarily defending the right to spank their children. Most of us definitely don’t do this, it doesn’t humiliate us as individuals. But it is unknown how, from the point of view of imposed norms, communication that is usual in a particular family can be perceived. If a child has responsibilities at home, but is raised in strict rules, this can also be considered an encroachment on personal freedom?! They scolded their son for a bad grade - a crime. They didn't let you play on the computer? This is also akin to a criminal offense, after which you have no right to raise a child at all.

It turns out that these are the prospects that shine upon us in the near future? The Association of Parental Committees and Communities of Russia (ARKS) even reserved a question about this for the “Direct Line” with the president, which took place on April 14. It’s a pity that we weren’t able to ask the head of state about the most exciting things on the air. The question should have sounded like this:

“Why should Russia even adopt the New Strategy of the Council of Europe in the interests of children for 2016–2021, when you, dear Vladimir Vladimirovich, have repeatedly stated that we have our own traditional values?”

And the day before, a petition appeared on the Internet demanding that we withdraw from the Council of Europe altogether, which demands the adoption of laws that are unacceptable to us.

But is everything really that scary? I’m talking about this with Olga Vladimirovna Letkova, head of ARKS, chairman of the Council for the Protection of Family and Traditional family values under the Commissioner for Children's Rights under the President of the Russian Federation.

“SP”: — Olga Vladimirovna, I know that the question that the juvenile system will actually start working in our country is not the first time that it has been raised. And we also wrote about this. But now, as I understand, the situation is much more serious. What is the danger?

— The thing is that at the beginning of April a conference was held in Sofia on the implementation of the New Council of Europe Strategy in the interests of children for 2016–2021 into the domestic legislation of the countries of the Council of Europe. From Russia, a delegation led by the Minister of Education Dmitry Livanov took part in the conference. The Russian version of the Strategy is currently being developed in the Federation Council, to which some amendments and adjustments are being made in relation to Russian legislation. This document causes considerable concern among parents. Will we be able to calmly raise and educate our children in our Russian traditions? Will it be the same here as in Europe?

“SP”: — But maybe this Strategy itself is not as terrible as it is made out to be?

— An analysis of the Strategy shows that it is aimed at destroying the institution of the family, corrupting children, and promoting perversions.

Can you imagine: the CoE strategy considers the family as a source of violence against children! According to the Strategy, every fifth child is allegedly raped among their loved ones, which is a blatant lie and contradicts objective statistical data.

A complete legislative ban on any corporal punishment of children, including by parents at home, is also planned here, under the threat of criminal prosecution of “violators.” The ban on corporal punishment, which does not cause harm to the life and health of the child, directly contradicts the right of parents to education and the right of the parent to act in accordance with their convictions (Articles 28, 38 of the Constitution of the Russian Federation). This is the first thing. And secondly, imagine your child fell off his bike and got hurt. Then you will be afraid to go to the emergency room. They will say that you beat him up and bring him in! And this is no joke. Such examples already exist, when parents go to the hospital with a child’s injuries, and doctors immediately report the incident to the police.

In addition, according to the CoE Strategy, we are called upon to eliminate differences based on gender, and to give children all the powers of adults.

But one of the main problems is poverty. The strategy addresses the issue of poverty specifically “among children,” excluding the context of the family. But for centuries, parents have always provided their child with support based on their income. And it was never considered a crime. The provisions of the strategy can be interpreted in such a way that in families where the standard of living does not meet a certain standard, there may be a threat of removal of children. And we know what it is. There are already such examples in the country, when in Novorossiysk from low-income family They took the baby, considering that there was not enough food in the refrigerator. As a result, the child died in the hospital and the culprits have not yet been named!

Just give our officials free rein! Tomorrow anyone will be poor, and the child will be sent to an orphanage.

“SP”: — As I understand it, the strategy also includes sex education for the younger generation? Moreover, it is very peculiar.

“SP”: — Olga Vladimirovna, is it true that it will also be impossible to prohibit a child from playing on the computer?

— The Strategy directly speaks of the protection and promotion of the “child’s right to participate in the digital space.” At the same time, according to the Strategy, “guidelines” will be developed for the fulfillment of parental responsibilities in the digital environment with a focus on respecting the rights of the child. Children’s rights in the information sphere are formulated in such a way that a parent’s refusal to provide a child with a tablet and access to the Internet can lead to the removal of the child to ensure his “best interests.” And there it’s not far from microchipping children... These chips have already been called safe and almost useful.

“SP”: — You paint some completely bleak prospects.

“I’m just sure that all these provisions contradict not only our internal legislation - the Concept of State Family Policy in the Russian Federation, the National Security Strategy of the Russian Federation, but first of all our traditional spiritual and moral values. For Russians, family has always been the main protection and support. It turns out that in our own family we will not have the right to decide nothing.

The main thing is leaving. But we raise our children in Orthodox traditions, in honoring father and mother, helping the weak. What will happen? There is no father, there is no mother, there are soulless machines number one and number two? Who can you complain about at any time?

I would like to say that the previous Strategy in the interests of children was signed in a matter of days without broad public discussion. And this has already entailed the adoption of such elements of the juvenile system as “early identification of family troubles”, “social patronage (under the guise of social services)”, the imposition and distribution of “helplines” and, as a result, an increase in the number of children wrongfully removed from families. An example of this is the same tragedy in Novorossiysk and many more similar cases.

Still, I hope that the president will hear us, and we will not destroy what has always helped Russia survive in difficult moments. Family.

Tatyana Alekseeva"