How to behave at a wedding: a memo to a good guest. Wedding - scenarios and rules

I honestly admit that when I myself am a guest at a wedding, I am very lost: how to get up, what to say, where to look, how not to get nervous, how not to spoil some idea of ​​the heroes of the occasion and not "sit down in a puddle." Let me tell you how to behave if you were a guest at a wedding, so that you yourself would not be ashamed to look at photos and videos later, and also so that you would not collect curses from the newlyweds, the photographer and the video operator.

Whatever happens, remember three basic rules:

• behave naturally;


• don't draw attention to yourself


• unquestioningly obey specialists (photographer, cameraman, presenter or wedding planner).

If you were called to the bride in the morning for the preparations, you should not be late in any case. You need to come in advance, even if you are not entrusted with any responsible mission. If you are late, in no case should you call her. Call the parents, or those who are already with the bride. Find out all the addresses and apartment numbers in advance. Your calls with clarifications and questions make the bride very nervous, and also irritate and distract the make-up artist, hairdresser, photographer and cameraman.

You need to be fresh and well-rested, your rumpled face and fumes will not add to the festive atmosphere. Also, guests arriving in the morning should be prepared to be filmed. There is no need to hide from the camera, as well as "climb" into the camera, the photographer and videographer will turn to you when they want to shoot you. Improvisation is good, but some congratulations and pleasant words think it over in advance, they can then be used in the registry office or at a banquet.

ransom

By the end of the gathering, along with the groom, the rest of the guests gather at the house or hotel where the bride is waiting for everyone.
If the ransom takes place at the entrance, do not climb into the front rows, and also try to keep the children with you. The groom comes to the bride, then the photographer and videographer go, you should not break this sequence. Witnesses are very fond of “getting into the frame” in front of the groom, do not be offended and remember: you are secondary characters in this “act”, stay a little aside, do not be afraid to miss anything, photos and videos are taken just for you, in addition, specialists should be given a little places to work.

It would be best if all guests stay at least a meter away from the couple, gathered in a compact small group. In this case, a good specialist, even at the entrance, will be able to remove a really beautiful ransom.

Do not take flowers with you to the apartment! When you arrive for a ransom, you should know in advance which car you will be leaving in, leave flowers and gifts there, they will only interfere at the ransom. Flowers are given after registration, and gifts at the banquet.

If everyone was told to leave, enter as soon as you were asked, do not hesitate, do not wait for anyone, obey the general commands. The most difficult thing is to gather people at the exit to the "corridor" so that the couple can effectively pass to your applause. Don't wait for someone to stand next to you, stand yourself the way the photographer asks.

If you are asked to leave the premises - do it in an organized and prompt manner and stand to the side of the entrance, wait for the young people to come out, greet them from a distance with applause or shouts of joy. If you follow the young people out of the front door, go out exactly behind them, do not try to get ahead of them, even if you really need it and you are late for something, ruin an important and beautiful shot.

Walk

Don't look into the lens, act natural, don't notice all those people with cameras. They don't shoot your portraits, if you start posing and smiling when you see the camera, you will be cut out anyway.

Specialists need to collect as many frames as possible of people rejoicing at what is happening, watching the event, your emotions, your reactions to what is happening at the wedding, and not to the camera and their work. If your portrait is suddenly needed, they will tell you - smile, look, say a few words.

If you see a couple posing together, do not run up to them, do not draw their attention to you, you will still have time to congratulate them, hug, kiss and drink a glass of another in honor of the holiday.

Registration and banquet

You take flowers with you, depending on the registration format, you sit on rows of chairs (the first rows for close relatives) or stand along the wall (if it is a registry office). Do not try to get into the front row by pushing other guests or standing in front of them.

The main scourge of all modern weddings is filming guests. Many couples have now begun to make a note in the invitation about the ban on shooting at registration. Don't try to take best places to take some pictures on your phone, tablet or your camera. The newlyweds hired a photographer and cameraman for a huge amount of money, they also work for you.

Even if it seems to you that at this moment you are not interfering with the photographer and cameraman, and stand on the seated registration, then you will “lock up” the general shot, because there may be a camera behind you. In addition, you reduce the number of possible movements and angles for a specialist. It seems to you that you are not interfering, but in fact, specialists can just wait until you sit down to move to another place.

If you still really want to take a couple of shots for yourself, just raise your hand from your seat and take a few shots. No need to shoot anything non-stop and get up from your seat or into the aisle.

At registration, you need to rejoice, smile and react to what is happening, and not, sorry, pick your nose, teeth and make faces. In no case do not chew gum and do not hold anything in your mouth (toothpicks, straws, lollipops).
Try to control your emotions and gestures, even if you didn't like something. At some point, you forget that you are being filmed, but all your "goat faces", disgruntled faces and rolled eyes will fall into the frame.

If you don't want to smile, just look at the newlyweds, but in no case, do not follow other people or the work of specialists with a bored face.

Why do two operators or two photographers often work at a wedding? One leads a couple, the other shoots guests, because you have to shoot a lot to make at least one general shot successful. At registration, about 70 percent of the material is eliminated only because of the bad manners of the guests.

Of course, everyone wants to be stars and shine at a social event, but a wedding is still a celebration of two people in love who invited you to share their joy. All your attention on this day should be riveted to the couple, and guests should behave modestly and with dignity. Rejoice, experience emotions, wipe away tears, applaud, hug your other half. How to break away and have fun, you will have the opportunity at the banquet, just remember that you must definitely show respect for those who say congratulations and toasts into the microphone.

If you have ever attended a wedding, you know that this is a romantic celebration associated with joy and celebration. However, the ceremony involves knowing some rules, and you must take them into account if you want to be a truly good guest.

If you're worried about doing something wrong, you're not alone. Before heading out to get married, take a look at this short list of things to do and not to do.

Yes: send an answer to the invitation as soon as possible

If you do not want the upcoming wedding to become a huge stress for the bride and groom, respond to the invitation right away - then it will be easier for them to plan everything. The couple should know how many guests will be at the celebration in order to decide where everyone will sit, provide necessary information restaurant, make all prepayments.

If there is no response to invitations, the couple cannot deal with such moments, and this creates tension. Ideally, the response to the invitation should be sent the same day you receive it (as a rule, such letters are sent with a response envelope anyway, so you have no excuse to delay).

Yes: check out the dress code

Usually, the invitations indicate what time the holiday will take place and where. However, do not forget to pay attention to the dress code. If you are required to maintain a formal style, you must prepare in advance. This is definitely something to think about.

Cocktail Dress does not correspond to the official style, and the man will need to get a bow tie. If you are not sure what the requirements are, ask the appropriate questions. This will allow you to feel comfortable at the ceremony without standing out from other guests.

Yes: communicate with others

It should be obvious: you should interact with the rest of the guests, even if they are complete strangers to you. This is a great opportunity to meet people you don't know. Some people meet their soul mate at weddings! Be relaxed and open. Something unites you with all the guests - you are close to a couple who decided to tie the knot. Take the chance to get to know those who matter to the newlyweds.

Yes: turn off phone ringer

There's nothing worse than being interrupted by the ringing of the phone wedding ceremony. Some organization experts even suggest introducing a rule to completely turn off gadgets. At a minimum, you should turn off the sound and hide your phone from view for the most important moments.

Your attention should be focused on the ceremony. You are invited to an incredibly important celebration, so show some respect. Do not take photos of every moment - it is worth looking at the newlyweds with your own eyes, and not through the phone screen.

Yes: take some photos

The solemn part of the ceremony is not suitable for photographing, but then you may well take a few shots - the couple will surely enjoy these emotional and lively shots. The newlyweds will be waiting for professional photos for several more weeks, so your shots will be a great gift for them. Take pictures of the guests during the toast and details of the decor so that the couple can see their celebration through your eyes. Recently, the use of social networks is gaining popularity.

Brides and grooms encourage friends and family to take photos and share them under a common hashtag. However, there are couples who prefer not to post photos on the Internet, try to think about this point in advance.

Yes: be sure to dance

A wedding celebration is needed so that people dance and enjoy, and not just sit at the table all evening. The number of people on the dance floor is an indicator of how fun the ceremony turned out to be. Even if you can't dance, try to get out and relax!

Newlyweds will surely appreciate it. In addition, you can get a charge of pleasant emotions. Remember that such a day is the moment when you need to forget about your complexes and just allow yourself to enjoy. This is exactly what the newlyweds want from you!

Yes: bring souvenirs

You may not need another photo frame or souvenir box, but try not to ignore them. The couple took the time to think of gifts for the guests, so don't hurt them or leave them unattended. Otherwise, the newlyweds will feel that they have wasted their money. Often, as a gift, there are quite necessary items, and sometimes just something edible, which is especially convenient. One way or another, take a gift if you do not want to upset the bride and groom.

No: don't wear white

This may seem obvious, yet some people don't think about it at all and come dressed up. white color. Meanwhile, this is the basic rule. Do not choose clothes of the same color as the bride! This is law number one: the wedding is the day of the bride. She spent a lot of money on her outfit, show some respect. Also, specify what outfits the bridesmaids will wear and avoid this color. This is a small thing, but everyone will be pleased if you do not look like the witness. If your outfit is in doubt as to whether it's too light, just don't wear it. Just think about what it's like for a bride: would you like to have someone in white at your party? Choose clothes that are appropriate and allow the bride to shine among the guests.

No: don't spend the whole evening at the bar

Of course, a wedding is a celebration, so a glass of champagne is quite appropriate. However, it should not be abused. Control the amount of alcohol! The last thing newlyweds dream about is drunken guests. Remember the sense of proportion and do not pay too much attention to drinks.

No: don't complain if you don't like something

Maybe you are sitting too close to the speakers, or maybe you don't like the decor of the ceremony? This is quite normal, but do not share your dissatisfaction out loud. Everyone has their own preferences, but remember - this is not your celebration, so your negative comments will be inappropriate. Respect the approach of the bride and groom!

No: do not take the bride or groom aside for a conversation

The wedding day for the bride and groom is full of events, so try not to draw attention to yourself. A wedding is a day to celebrate the unity of a couple. Do not steal one of the young spouses for personal communication!

No: don't take a professional camera

Even if you are a photographer, don't bring a professional camera. The couple spent a serious amount on the photographer - let him do his job! This will allow you to enjoy the evening without being distracted by long photography.

No: Do ​​not bring an uninvited person

This is bad for several reasons. If the guest was not scheduled, there may be problems with the place and food in the restaurant. Plus, it's just awkward. Always discuss in advance if you can take someone with you and who it will be.

No: don't forget the gift

The whole evening was organized in such a way that you were pleased. You can’t just use and give nothing in return! Be sure to bring a gift with you. If you don't bring anything, you will be embarrassed to walk past the gift table. If you just forgot your gift at home, it's okay - try to give it as soon as possible. It is best to send it the very next day after the ceremony.

The role of the groom at the wedding is one of the most important. Without the groom, the wedding will not take place. The wedding program needs to be worked out in advance, discuss all the competitions, agree with the bride whether a ransom is needed. The groom must prepare the required documents. A few years ago, almost all these functions were taken over by an official witness. This post has now been abolished. But is there really no friend who would help during solemn event informally? During the wedding, and especially during the ransom, they joke about the groom. Some jokes may seem offensive. Bridesmaids especially compete in bullying. The amount of the ransom and the limit of patience must be discussed in advance. Some suitors, knowing their character, ask the bride to refuse the ransom.

What the groom should do at the wedding is an important question. But no less important is what needs to be done before it. Do not get carried away with the celebration of the bachelor party, as the next day the time should be calculated by the minute. The groom takes the most beautiful bouquet for the bride the wedding cake, he prepares the documents that are required for painting. It is impossible to be late even for a minute if there is an agreement: to pick up the bride in front of the registry office. Every extra minute of being late is a spoiled mood for your beloved. The girl is already nervous: she wants to be the most beautiful. The groom will be late - doubts will creep in - suddenly the wedding will not take place - there will certainly be tears, carefully laid makeup will flow.

If the groom decides to carry the bride in his arms, it is advisable to practice in advance. Not every groom can easily carry his beloved. An unsuccessful attempt to lift a girl looks ridiculous in the eyes of others. It is better to refuse a ritual action than to look ridiculous. How to behave as a groom at a wedding? Don't get drunk. An offer to drink a glass will come from the very first minute: before leaving for the bride, during the ransom and in the future. "Experienced" grooms ask true friends to replace alcohol in poured glasses with water, and always carry a bottle with a drink that does not contain alcohol in the inner pocket of the jacket. If this does not work out, you need to limit yourself to the fact that the glass will simply be brought to the lips. A drunk groom at a wedding is unacceptable.

In the registry office, the instructions of the administrators should be strictly followed. Jokes with the word "yes" do not look funny from the outside. At weddings, competitions for young people are traditionally held. In all of them you need to take part and at least pretend that it is a pleasure. If the bride is against drunken guests taking off her shoe or stealing her herself, explain this to them in an accessible form. The speech of the groom at the wedding can be pronounced, both before the banquet, and at its end. It is traditionally required to thank all parents and guests. If you want to make your speech ironic, parents should be informed. Otherwise, the wedding may be overshadowed by vain insults.

What should a groom not do at a wedding? We have already talked about the attitude to drinking. But besides this, there are a few more things that can interrupt the not yet begun family life. You can not leave the wedding without informing the bride. Even if this is a joke, her bride will not be funny. Compliments and flirting with bridesmaids are not allowed. Engage in a skirmish with tipsy guests and demand satisfaction for unsuccessful jokes, fight. It is impossible to find out during the wedding in front of the invited guests who invested more in the wedding and who gave how much. All these issues are resolved later. What must the groom do at the wedding? Remain calm and patient. Only in this case the wedding will be a holiday! As intended.

If you were invited, be sure to thank the person who did it. It would be a very good move to offer your help in organizing the wedding. Maybe you can take the newlyweds to wedding salons. Or maybe you can help them bring the products purchased for the wedding to the restaurant / cafe where the wedding will take place.

In addition, if you are unable to attend the wedding for any reason, please notify the newlyweds in advance. The gift is still worth buying, and you can present it later, after the ceremony itself.

How to dress

Usually, if a costumed wedding is planned, all guests are notified about this. In addition, it is worth considering the age contingent.

For example, if most of the guests are young people, you should not dress like an opera with a bow tie and other attributes. If the main contingent is solid aged people, your T-shirt with the inscription "Bitter" will look very strange.

Be sure to ask what the weather will be like on the day of the ceremony, and dress according to the forecast.

Time

In no case do not be late, no one will be waiting for you, and you can get into a mess when you are simply not allowed to the registration ceremony by the registry office workers. And in general, no one is late for such celebrations, this is a very bad tone.

In order not to be late, it is better to purchase a gift in advance, otherwise you may have problems early in the morning.

Gift

Now in most cases it is customary to give not only money, but also some kind of gift. So keep this in mind and buy at least flowers if you decide to give money.

It is advisable to give a gift at least so that the newlyweds have a memory of you. And the money - they just spend it, that's all.

Behavior at the wedding

Even if for some reason you have a bad mood that day, you should not show it. You yourself know how funny "puffed up" people look at a wedding. Try to have fun, participate in contests and be sure to smile.

Come up with a toast ahead of time so you don't have to come up with it on the fly during the wedding. And of course, try to revive your toast, make it as cheerful and cheerful as possible.

No wedding can be fun and memorable without guests. They are solemnly invited and eagerly awaited.

According to statistics, usually half of those invited does not know how to behave at a wedding. Many questions about their behavior arise during the celebration among witnesses, and among those who are at the wedding for the first time in general. But it also happens that even experienced guests forget about the elementary rules and norms of behavior.

Some guests are big fans of toast. When you decide to speak out, do not forget that the toast should be short, meaningful, kind, witty. You should not read postcards with hackneyed tasteless poems, it is better to say a few words, but sincerely, from the heart. Also remember that your congratulations should not contain cheeky, with incorrect hints, ambiguous toasts. The first toast has the honorable right to proclaim the oldest and most honored guest of the celebration, and only for the happiness of the newlyweds.

You can't be late for a wedding - it's bad form. Also, we must not forget that along with a gift it is good to present a wedding bouquet to the young.

Young people will certainly have planned walks, photo and video shootings throughout the holiday. Most of the time, perhaps, the newlyweds can be involved in this, then it’s not nice to show boredom, discontent and a desire to be at the wedding banquet faster. If there is free time, you can start getting to know those whom you see for the first time, take part in conversations, communicate.

If you have a camera, you can take several pictures, because amateur photos can capture natural and lively scenes, and turn out to be very touching, alive.

A wedding banquet is not only a desire to eat tasty and satisfying food and drink a lot. This is a celebration with a program that is always designed for the participation of guests. When you participate in events that are planned by the host, you thereby show respect for the holiday and, of course, for the heroes of the occasion themselves. It often happens when guests at wedding celebrations not only do not know how to behave, but are also shy, hide and refuse to respond to the festive program.

A good and experienced person may be able to find an approach to any public, however, when going to a wedding, it is decent to be in good mood, be relaxed, friendly, relaxed. But at the same time, you should also not be too zealous, attracting increased attention to yourself. After all, you are just a guest at a celebration where there are main figures for whom everything happens - this is the bride and groom.

Here are a few simple rules table manners:

You have to use the tools that are given to you. You can't put your elbows on the table. You should not reach across the entire table for a far-away dish, shoving and hitting your neighbors on the table. It is better to ask someone who is closer to give it to you. Also, even after several glasses of wine you have drunk, try to remember that you cannot abuse the cries of “Bitter!” at the celebration.

The young people tried to do everything as best as possible, wished with all their might that the holiday was a success, and also showed respect for you by inviting you to their celebration. Therefore, it is absolutely unacceptable for guests to make negative comments about appearance or the costumes of the newlyweds, guests, anyone, as well as the organization of the wedding and the quality of the dishes and treats served at holiday table. Say only good things or nothing at all. Remember sometimes it's better to chew than talk.

An obligatory attribute of weddings is dancing. If at a regular banquet it is allowed to invite all women to dance, then at a wedding there is an exception - this is the bride and groom, they dance only with each other, and with no one else.

Also, young people have the right to leave the fun without saying goodbye, and at any time they need. Do not pay attention to this, as the holiday must continue.

If you took a child with you, you not only have to, but are obliged to control his behavior. Sometimes an animator is invited to weddings to keep the children entertained, but this is not the responsibility of the organizers of the celebration. Therefore, if you go to weddings with a baby, then be prepared to pay increased attention to him so that he is not a cause for discomfort and concern for the newlyweds and guests.

In the days of pre-revolutionary Russia, more importance was given to the rules of conduct and customs. There were two sections in the old textbooks of good manners about the wedding.

One of them contained the rules of conduct at someone else's wedding, and the other contained the rules of conduct at one's own. It is a little unfortunate that in our age all this seems redundant, and the wedding ritual has become much simpler over the past hundred years, and freed from many important conventions.

No one remembers that the wedding feast arose so that the families of the husband and wife could get to know each other better, make friends, and resolve issues related to the life of the newlyweds. In our time, wedding banquets have become a kind of independent action, the costs and splendor of celebrations sometimes overlap with their significance the main main idea - the formation of a new family.

Do not avoid the centuries-old beautiful national customs and rituals, concepts and words, as often they make the most significant event of life - the wedding even more important, joyful and beautiful.