How can a mother with many children manage everything? Secrets of a mother's survival in a large family. Useful tips for mothers with many children.

Depositphotos

Set the same daily routine for all children

Famous Hollywood actor Alec Baldwin and his wife Hilaria have three children: three-year-old Carmen, two-year-old Rafael and little Leonardo, born on September 12, 2016. Alec’s wife readily talks on her social network page about how she manages to cope with three kids, each of whom requires one hundred percent of her mother’s attention. Her most main secret– the daily routine of all children should be the same.

“When you have one child, everything is fine - all your attention is focused on him. When there are many of them, it is a team, so they must do everything together. If you try to make each child live according to their own schedule, you are guaranteed to be constantly stressed,” Hilaria.

Involve children in putting their siblings to bed

Not all children can be easily and quickly put to sleep during the day. Mother of four children Anna Ananova knows this like no one else. She had to try a lot different ways before she found the most effective one.

“We decided not to force the baby. If you don't want to sleep, that's fine. And in the evening, when the child was freaking out empty space, when I was very tired, when I wanted to sleep, they meticulously said that son, this is all because your body did not rest during the day, it has little strength, and so on. Next time you go to bed during the day, and then in the evening we can still read, and sculpt, and so on before going to bed. I’ll tell you – it works 100%, even with a two-year-old,” she said.

Another, according to Anna, time-tested way of putting children to sleep during the day is to ask for help: “I tell the baby: “Son, I want to sleep, please put me to bed, hold my hand for about five minutes.” And if you need to put everyone to bed at the same time, then you can say this: “Please help me put Alena to bed: pretend to be asleep, and then she will look at you and fall asleep.” It always works!”

Face it, you are not a supermom.

Of course, it’s nice to consider yourself an independent mother and proudly say that you can handle everything yourself, but most often this is good and simple only in theory. Actress Olga Lomonosova, a mother, realized from her own experience that it is very difficult without the help of a nanny or grandmother.

“At first we tried to cope on our own. But one day, when Varya was about five months old, I went to audition for Mosfilm. Pasha called me (husband of the actress. – Ed.) and said: “Do what you want, but be at home! Varya needs breasts.” I ran home in horror, by this time Pasha had already calmed the baby down. After this story, we realized that we needed a nanny. We contacted agencies, but we came across such strange people there. One day Lilya came to us. She sat down on the sofa and said: “I’ve never been a nanny, but I have two children of my own.” Somehow we were lucky that Lilya is still with us. But we were looking for a nanny for a very long time,” she shared.

The older the child gets, the more you can give him instructions to do something himself: tidy up the toys before guests arrive, wipe the dust on the shelf or help with cooking (for example, sorting out buckwheat or rice). Be prepared that at first you will have to redo everything, but still, all the efforts of the child must be encouraged and you should never help him until he asks for it himself.

Order groceries to your home

Often, a trip between a mother and her children to the supermarket turns into a real ordeal: one cries because they didn’t buy him a toy, the other is tired, the third is completely lost from sight, and then you still have to carry huge bags of groceries home - not everyone has a car... To avoid This way, you can simplify the task and order groceries online – with home delivery.

“I often (especially when my husband is not at home) order groceries online for delivery. “I save time and don’t carry heavy loads,” a mother of many children shared her advice with the Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper. - It's probably not original advice, but why then in supermarkets do I still see families with children for whom grocery shopping turns into torture? A cart full of children, milk, toilet paper, everything falls, everyone runs away, everyone is nervous... 5 minutes - click on the desired products, then another 5 minutes open the door to the courier. Milk, cereals and baby food You can order by the box and not think about it for a month.”

Tatyana Orlova with her son

"I sacrifice in perfect order. We do regular cleaning, but constantly “polishing” is pointless if there are a lot of children. So for reasons of convenience, the house does not necessarily have to be sterilely clean. I have access to creative materials, and from time to time someone gets dirty in them, but it’s not at all difficult to wash a child, kiss him and let him go on to play,” Tatyana.

And finally, simple and useful recommendation many experienced mothers. They advise: the best way to maintain order in an apartment with children is to spend as little time there as possible. For example, if you have to spend the whole day at home with the whole group, then try to go for a walk at least twice for at least two hours. We woke up, had breakfast, played and went outside. Then: we ate, slept, had an afternoon snack - and went for a walk again. After returning, have dinner, swim and sleep. Thus, the children will also benefit - they will spend a lot of time in the fresh air, and order will remain at home much longer.

What parenting tricks do you use? Tell us in the comments.

Children to any family, if they are loved, bring a lot of joy, happiness, as well as troubles and worries. It is always more difficult for a mother with many children than for one who has one or two children. With constant worries about children and housework, a mother in a large family sometimes loses this feeling of happiness from having many children, sometimes becomes irritated, always busy. All her chores boil down to cooking, cleaning, feeding everyone on time, getting everyone ready for school and kindergarten, then picking her up, putting her to bed, etc. But in vain. Even in this case, you can remain not just happy, but also well-groomed and beautiful.
To do this, first of all you need to understand that a large family is an indicator of your strength. After all, many are afraid to give birth to a third, fourth, etc. child precisely because of the lack of time and money, because of the fear that they will not cope with it. And you will show everyone with your lifestyle and behavior that this is not so. Probably only someone who has more than one child can understand this.

We plan time for everyone separately

Okay, all the ranting aside, it just confuses. Let's move on to specific actions. To manage everything, you need to plan your time correctly. Why do we take a pen and notepad? We write down all the daily duties that we cannot do without. Let's take for example a family with three children, when the father works and the mother takes care of the children. Firstly, you can be glad that you don’t have so many children, and secondly, you don’t have to think about making money.

Let’s assume that the first child is a junior school student, the second child goes to kindergarten, and the third is a baby under one year old. We note in a notebook when the oldest needs to be raised so that he has time to get ready for school, have breakfast, etc. When he comes home from school, when he needs to be fed lunch, after which he can rest a little, take a walk, and go about his business. When he needs to sit down for homework, how much time do you need to do them together? It’s worth thinking about what the little one will be doing - maybe he’s sleeping right at that time.

Now we write down everything about the second child - when he needs to be taken to kindergarten, picked up, do not forget that he needs to give at least half an hour of attention on your part: read, listen to stories from kindergarten, etc. Note when he goes to bed, when he should be bathed before bed, etc.

Well, let’s write down everything about the third child. Here, of course, it will take more time, depending on the specific age. When he sleeps, when he eats, when he bathes, etc. By the way, in such a situation, the best way out in feeding is on a schedule, no matter what his opponents say. Firstly, it is convenient for the whole family, there is a greater chance that you will be able to pay enough attention to other family members and redo all the things, and secondly, when a child lives according to a routine that is never broken, he is calmer and develops better. He gets used to eating at this time and sleeping at this time, so he treats everything calmly. Of course, at first it will not be easy, especially if there were no such rules in your family before, because you will have to accustom everyone to a certain routine, but then everything will go easily and without problems. Try it and see for yourself.

Putting it all together

After all the main points for each child are recorded separately, you need to combine it all together. By the way, do not forget to take into account such moments that children need to go to bed before nine in the evening, you need to properly think through the daily routine for everyone so that there is enough time for classes, homework, rest and personal affairs, walks, etc.

The hardest part is combining the three routines together. To begin with, try to feed your children at the same time, for example, dinner and breakfast can be shared, lunch - with those children who are at home at that time, that is, with the eldest and youngest. Of course, the baby will have his own feeding routine, but it needs to be gradually, as he grows older, brought closer to the time when the whole family eats. In the morning, everyone needs to get up early in order to get ready on time; it is advisable to prepare everything you need in the evening so that there is no unnecessary fuss. When accompanying older children to school and kindergarten, you can take the younger one with you for a walk, and then you can go to the store for groceries. All lists must be drawn up in advance, including the route, so that you don’t have to waste time on unnecessary running around.

While older children are in class and in kindergarten, you can work out with your baby, take the certain time. It is also necessary to provide for half an hour that the baby must spend on his own; he needs to learn to entertain himself. At the same time, it is not at all necessary to leave him alone in the room; you can sit him next to him or in the playpen and do some business, for example, ironing clothes. When he goes to bed, let's go cook. It is also advisable to think through the menu in advance; it is also recommended to search on the Internet or in books healthy recipes, which cook quickly. Modern ones will also become assistants Appliances- microwave, multicooker, etc. Tasty and healthy borscht can be prepared in a slow cooker, which will require less effort and, therefore, less time.

The eldest came home from school - it’s time to feed him, and at the same time inquire about school affairs. While he is resting after school, you can rest too, if the baby is sleeping, if not, keep him busy with something. Another walk, this time together with the baby and the older child - go to the kindergarten for the middle one, after which you can take a walk together.

When you come home, feed the children, let the eldest sit down to do his homework, and for now you can play with the rest. After some time, check your homework and start getting ready for bed. While the older ones are collecting toys, the younger one can be bathed and put to bed. Then the middle one, while he is swimming in the bath under the supervision of the elder, you can dismantle the beds, prepare everything you need for tomorrow, etc. Perhaps the eldest will bathe on his own, maybe he will need a little help. When everyone is in bed, rinse off and you, too, to relieve fatigue, or better yet, lie in the bath and relax.

Mandatory rest and plans for tomorrow

Now you have an hour or two of free time, you can relax and go about your business: read, watch a movie, etc. Just remember to write down your plan for the next day first. In general, it’s worth setting aside a couple of hours on some day, for example, on a weekend, when dad is walking with the children, to make a plan for the week, a menu, a shopping list. Shopping can be done either once a week, immediately purchasing everything you need, or daily, as is more convenient for you. You may not have much time left for household chores. Here household appliances will come to the rescue, as already mentioned, and the same plan of affairs. You can find 15 minutes a day for cleaning, although it seems that this is not enough, but if you use it wisely, then you will always have a clean place. For example, on Monday we clean the kitchen, on Tuesday we wipe the dust, on Wednesday we wash the floor, etc. You should plan in advance when and what to do, then you will have time to do everything.

Of course, everything listed above is a very approximate example. But you can use it as a guide when creating your own daily routine, taking into account the characteristics of your family and its tastes. I warn you that it will be difficult only at the beginning, then all members of your family will get used to the new rules and everything will be much easier.

When creating a routine, be sure to leave some time for taking care of your appearance. Putting on a mask while you take a bath is not at all difficult, walking at a fast pace is also not difficult, but you will look good and get everything done.

It’s good if you can find time for gymnastics, 10-15 minutes of exercise is enough to look decent. A cold and hot shower It won’t take much time in the morning, but it will give you vigor and strength for the whole day.

Good luck, success and happiness. May you always manage to do everything, look 100% and enjoy life and having many children!

Guys, we put our soul into the site. Thank you for that
that you are discovering this beauty. Thanks for the inspiration and goosebumps.
Join us on Facebook And In contact with

1. Learn to calm down

The situation in the family largely depends on the mother’s mood: the calmer she is, the fewer scandals. But life is not ideal, and we are not robots. Larisa Surkova advises breathing in cycles during a stressful situation: take 3 deep breaths and 3 deep exhales, it is important to breathe loudly.

Or try chewing, it doesn’t matter what exactly, the main thing is to make chewing movements with your jaw: this good way for the brain to get distracted in this moment. Rinse your mouth cold water or jump on one leg: such methods will help you control yourself and not say too much.

2. Tell your child about your love more often

It often seems to us that our love is already obvious to the child, because we walk with him, give him toys, read books before bed... But It is important for every child to hear that he is loved, and there cannot be too many such words. This is especially important when a second child appears in the family: the first-born often lacks love and attention, and jealousy appears.

During this period, a mother’s love should not be shared, but multiplied. Take time to explain to your child that you do not love him less, listen to him. Try to find time to be alone with each of the children doing their favorite activity, do not be afraid to “out-love” them. This will help children avoid jealousy and grow up affectionate and loving.

3. Don’t sort things out with your child before bedtime.

Yes, it is very difficult to restrain your emotions when your child has angered you and everything inside is boiling with anger. But negative emotions are not the best adviser. Even if your child’s behavior has greatly upset you, you should still postpone conversations about serious topics until the morning.

Conflicts and Quarrels before bedtime cause children to fear loneliness and bring a feeling of uselessness. And before going to bed, teenagers come up with all sorts of stupid things that, unfortunately, they can put into practice the next morning.

4. Don’t subject your life to your children.

Being a parent is one of the most important roles in life, but not the only one. Don’t forget about yourself: don’t push your interests into the back burner, don’t wait for better times, live a rich life with your children.

Do what you want: sign up for a dance class, read your favorite book, go to a cafe with your friends. We can devote our whole lives to the pursuit of the ideal, but perfectionism will not make us happier. Give yourself the right to rest without remorse, take breaks, enjoy life: all this prevents you from getting stuck in a routine and helps to charge our “battery”. As they say, a happy mother has happy children.

5. Let children be in charge of their own lessons.

It may not be easy, but it is still worth putting responsibility for school in the child's hands. Start of studies - best time to teach him responsibility and independence. And constant control only leads to infantilism and does not allow the child to learn to make decisions independently.

It is necessary to explain to children that they themselves need education first of all. Otherwise, it may happen that, once you take on this burden, you will carry it all your life. It is important for parents to give their child more freedom, entrust him with more tasks and be sure to believe that he will succeed. After all, even a 7-year-old son and daughter can do a lot of things themselves.

6. Show your feelings in front of your children.

It is important for children to see their parents not only as dad and mom, but also as loving spouses. It's great if you find time to date, look after each other, hug, kiss, and give gifts. If parents are happy together, the children are only better off.

7. Give boys the opportunity to show masculinity, but don’t scold them for “girly” emotions

Usually the leading role in raising boys belongs to the father, but a lot also depends on the mother. Try to ask your son for help more often, because even a 3-year-old child can be given a bottle of milk and asked to carry it home. Let your child know that you appreciate his help and thank him for it. You will see how pleasant it will be for him too.

Do not forbid boys to cry, support them, instill in the child confidence that he will be able to cope with difficulties and everything will work out. Teach the boy to take care of himself and do housework: this will make him more self-confident, and in the future it will help him find the woman he loves, not a housekeeper.

8. Don't punish, but encourage

Rewards are much more effective than punishments. Children really enjoy emotional rewards - fishing, going to an exhibition or having a picnic. Such activities motivate children well to study, and it will also give them many vivid impressions that they will remember for the rest of their lives.

Do not abuse punishments, beware of shouting, eliminate physical punishment. If such methods work, then only at first, but over time they become habitual and begin to cause only harm: they cause negative emotions and lead to the development of neuroses in the child.

1938

There is a certain stereotype that a large family is most often dysfunctional, and the mother, according to the “law of the genre,” is a kind of driven horse with disheveled hair and a dull look. And the “experts” also add that, they say, you really don’t care when you have to cope with three (or more) children. So, “performance” does not depend on the number of children - I would even say that with three I manage more than before with one. In the morning, a friend, the mother of one child, called me and complained that she had not gotten enough sleep, that she did not have the strength to clean the house. She asked what I was doing. It was 10 o'clock, and by that time I had escorted the elders into the garden, washed the floor in the apartment, started the machine wash three times, cooked soup for lunch, baked cottage cheese balls for the children for the evening, marinated chicken for my husband for dinner, sorted out the bathroom cabinet, fed the baby , ordered a gift for my son’s birthday and wrote 3000 characters of a new article. My friend was perplexed: “How do you manage to do all this?!..”

So, how can a mother with many children manage everything?

1. Planning. Every month I make a grid plan where the main activities are written, including family trips, children's clubs, doctor's visits, etc. for each week. If “windows” suddenly appear, I have a list of tasks of minor importance at hand. I also plan the menu in a way that is convenient for me: for example, on Wednesdays and Fridays we have various vegetable dishes, Tuesday and Thursday we have fish in various variations, on Mondays and Saturdays we have meat or chicken, and on Sunday we traditionally bake pizza or pies. Activities with children are also planned weekly: on Tuesday we sculpt from plasticine, on Thursday we draw with paints.
2. Daily regime. We observe it strictly, so many things have become habits even among children, for example, brushing their teeth before bed, a walk after afternoon tea (on days off), and Sunday service. At 21.30 the children are asleep, and I can take a bath, chat with my husband and get a good night’s sleep, and at 7 am I don’t have to wake up my children for a long time, because they wake up by then. At one time I was not able to organize meals according to the clock, but spending hours in the kitchen with the goal of “giving the liver”, “pour some water”, “cutting off an apple” finally got tired of me: I eliminated snacks altogether (only fruit and only at the appointed time), and I made a meal schedule.
3. Process optimization. This applies to routines, cleaning and cooking. Getting my husband ready for work and older children for kindergarten takes no more than half an hour: on Fridays I iron and hang 5 sets of clothes for each, and on weekdays I don’t have to deal with this issue; I pack a snack for my husband for work in the evening, and prepare breakfast in the morning for 5-7 minutes, or use the delayed start mode in the multicooker. After my elders and husband leave, I wash the floor, dismantle hotspots and clean a certain area using the Fly Lady system. At that time washing machine washes clothes, dishwasher washes dishes.
4. Child to help. I never do household chores when the child is sleeping - this is my personal time, time for rest or sleep. If the baby bothers me, I involve him in my activities: I wipe the floor and give him a cloth, I dismantle the shelves and give him a box of toys: if he doesn’t want to clean, let him play. The older children have their own responsibilities: the son wipes down the kitchen cabinets and puts cutlery in the drawer, the daughter takes the laundry off the dryer and tidies up the table.
5. Organization of children. After arriving home, take off your shoes and outerwear and hang it on a hanger (I also help my daughter), wash my hands; after eating, put the dishes in the dishwasher; After the game, put all the toys in the drawers, etc.
6. Delegation of responsibilities. A neighbor takes my eldest son to preparatory courses for school, and it’s much easier for me to pay her a small fee than to ride back and forth with the baby on public transport. Every Saturday, my husband buys groceries from the list I made while the kids and I prepare family dinner.
7. Minimization of absorbers. I once calculated that Internet surfing consumes about 2 hours a day of my time. This time can be spent watching a movie, reading a book or taking care of yourself, which is more useful than aimlessly wandering the Internet.
8. Rest and sleep. If I don't get enough sleep at night, then during nap Baby, I'm going to bed too. If I don't feel well, then I rest, rather than cleaning, overcoming myself. My good health is the key to the well-being of my family.
9. Inspiration. I devote half an hour a day to reading interesting book or your hobby, i.e. I do something for myself personally, so I don’t have the feeling that I live only for children. Children are not an obstacle to personal development; on the contrary, with their birth the sphere of interests expands, and many mothers begin to paint masterpieces, bake delicious cakes or do patchwork.
10. Childless time. My firm belief is that a mother should have time when she takes a break from her children. Once a week, even if only for a couple of hours, I leave the house alone. Whether I go to visit a friend or to a cosmetics store is not so important. I have time to unwind and come back rested.

And the last important afterword. I don’t have time to do EVERYTHING, it’s impossible, but I manage to do what I consider important. That is why I do not iron my bed linen, but carefully straighten it while drying and then put it away in the closet with a clear conscience. “Everyone chooses for himself...”, as in the verse by Yu. Levitansky.