Instructions for husband and wife about their rights and responsibilities in a truly Christian marriage. What is an ideal wife like? How to treat your wife

Cecil Osborne

Cecil Osborne

1. Show strength of character and tenderness towards your wife

Every woman, regardless of her level of self-confidence, needs a man whom she can rely on, with whom she herself does not have to be the boss. She needs a strong and at the same time gentle husband.

The Bible teaches husbands to treat their wives as “weak vessels.” What is this “frailty”, since women live about eight years longer than men, get sick less, and according to statistics, infant mortality is higher among boys than among girls? Women are weaker than men and more vulnerable in emotional sphere, they are easier to offend and insult, which is why a woman so needs a combination of strength and tenderness on the part of her husband. A man’s tenderness is manifested in caring for his wife, caring for her, and strength is expressed in firmness of character, in a bold look at the future, when a man is not timid in the face of difficulties, but assures his wife: “Rely on me, we will overcome everything, everything will be fine.” " A woman also expects active action from a man in problematic situations; she likes it when he is able to make decisions and bear responsibility for them.

2. Praise your wife constantly

Women are naturally less confident than men. This is partly due to the fact that a modern woman has too many responsibilities: everyday life, children, often full-time work, caring for elderly parents, etc. And since she is emotionally vulnerable, she needs constant words of approval and praise like air.

Almost every wife asks her husband: “Do you love me?” Not only on the eve of the wedding, but five and ten years later life together a woman asks this question not because she suspects her husband of cheating or feels his indifference, but to be convinced of his love again and again. She doesn't need "information" but confirmation.

Men are very annoyed by this question: “Doesn’t the fact that I bring a salary every month, spend every night with her, and have not left her at all, testify to my love for her? I said this on our wedding day! After all, I don’t expect praise from my boss every day, I just try to do my job well. Why do women need this sentimentality? Yes, because they are designed differently! Accept this as a fact and start praising your wife at every opportunity!

You may ask, “Isn’t it hypocritical to admire her actions when I don’t feel what I’m saying?” No, noticing the good in people is not hypocrisy. Over time, you will discover that your feelings match your words and you will completely sincerely admire what your wife does and how she does it.

3. Share areas of responsibility with her.

In the relationship between spouses there should be a distribution of responsibilities. Since you both grew up and were brought up in different families, with different traditions, when you get married, you will encounter unexpected “antics” from each other. For example, in the wife’s family the father always threw out the trash, but in the husband’s family this was the mother’s responsibility. What should a new family do? Often disputes and even scandals arise between spouses over the smallest issues. So agree to create your own “traditions.” It is better for newlyweds to abandon the example of their parents and begin to actively “adapt” to each other, give in and help their spouse, rather than defend their position.

Christian marriage is built on the fundamental principle: “A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). Experience shows that the most difficult thing is to fulfill the first part - “leaving father and mother.” Here it is not enough to simply move from your parents’ house to a separate apartment, although this is also important. It is necessary to leave parental models at the emotional level and at the level of comparisons, because the girl wants to see the ideal traits of her father in her chosen one, and the guy wants to see the ideal traits of the mother in his chosen one. Everyone has a tendency to compare their spouses with their parents: “Mom always washed my clothes, but you don’t want to,” “My dad always bought groceries, and you force me to do it,” “Mom fed me soup every morning, and you offer me muesli with milk”, “Dad assembled cabinets and shelves himself, but you don’t know how!”

Many small questions also arise: who will manage the money, decide where to go on vacation, call a plumber, take the children to school, wash the car, do the laundry... In marriage, there is a clash of “incompatible” interests of two different people - how to bring them in compliance? The selfish husband declares that he, as the head of the family, has the right to the “last vote” in both large and small matters. But this is the position of an extremely insecure person who, by dominating his wife and children, asserts himself in the role of “head”. In this case, “headship” for him means unconditional submission of family members.

However, the most reasonable solution is to let the person who understands it better have the right to the “last vote” in resolving any issue.

The husband realizes himself, first of all, in work, and the wife - in creating home comfort. For a wife, the house is her “fortress”; she spends more time in it than her husband (at least during maternity leave), cooks more often, so the kitchen is her “territory”, and wise husband will listen to his wife’s wishes in decorating the house. Choosing the color of the walls, arranging furniture, the number of colors, etc., etc. - leave the decision on these issues to a woman!

4. Don't criticize

A husband who constantly criticizes his wife will cause many negative consequences:

. The wife may become depressed.

. Negative emotions and stress can cause her various physical illnesses.

. She may become angry, withdrawn, or frigid.

. Stops respecting himself.

. He will begin to pour out his pain and resentment on his children.

. Decides to get a divorce.

Constant criticism is always destructive, but there is a positive way in which it is possible to make changes in a relationship. No communication is complete without criticism, but the less criticism there is, the happier the marriage will be. We should not suppress our negative emotions, the main thing is to learn how to express them correctly. Here are two ways to express your dissatisfaction: “I’m tired of eating potatoes and sausages every day! Don’t you have enough imagination?” Or: “Darling, you cook so well, I really like it! As a child, we always ate the same thing and I always dreamed that my wife would often cook different delicious things. I would really like this dream to come true! Could you do this for me?

This way, you will say what you would like to change, but without criticism. A marriage certificate does not give the right to offend a spouse.

5. Remember the importance of “little things”

Men, as a rule, are less sentimental than women, so they do not attach much importance to birthdays, anniversaries of various family events and all sorts of “little things” that can be very important for women.

Many women love pleasant surprises. One woman admitted: “If I remind my husband that our wedding anniversary is approaching, I will not be interested in celebrating this day with him. I’m tired of hinting to him every time that he should do something special for me.”

Love is not only feelings, but also actions, so a husband who forgets about his wedding anniversary commits an “unforgivable” sin! New Year, March 8, birthdays of your wife and children - all these holidays should not be ignored.

To a man this may seem like something insignificant and uninteresting, but a woman will always appreciate it if you pay attention to her new hairstyle, write a love note and leave it by the mirror, invite her to a cafe...

6. Don't ignore your wife's need to be close to you.

Of course, no two people are the same, but in general, a woman wants to be close to a man more often than he wants to be with her. We are not talking here about an immature, jealous wife who does not want to let her husband go anywhere and throws hysterics at him - such a wife needs the help of a psychologist, since her behavior is caused by a feeling of extreme self-doubt.

Some husbands like to spend free time outside the home with his wife, others need purely male company from time to time. A husband who values ​​his marital relationship will not neglect his wife's need to be together. If spouses have different hobbies, it is necessary to strive for a compromise. This does not mean that spouses must do absolutely everything together throughout their lives. But you should respect what your spouse needs and compromise. Only an immature person will demand that things always be the way he wants them to be.

7. Do everything in your power to make your wife feel secure.

A sense of reliability is one of the first needs of a woman in marriage, and a caring, gentle, attentive husband can fill it. There are different areas in which women need their husbands to understand. For example, for one woman, a sense of security comes when her husband does minor repairs around the house and helps her rearrange furniture, even if she likes frequent changes. Such care of the husband about the house convinces the wife that she herself is not indifferent to him.

Another woman experiences this feeling if her husband is interested in her everyday life. You may not be impressed by the details of her day, but by listening to her stories, you are expressing your love for her and thus increasing her sense of reliability.

Some women collect things, such as magazines, recipes, or houseplants. If your wife feels confident and reliable at the same time, do not criticize her hobby.

Some women put aside small savings. This may seem pointless to you, but it reinforces her sense of security. Feelings may be irrational, but this does not make them any less real or valuable. Therefore, do not interfere with anything that gives your wife a sense of stability, unless, of course, the family budget suffers from it.

8. Treat your wife’s mood swings with understanding and patience.

Mood changes in all people without exception, but in women much more often than in men. This is partly due to her menstrual cycle. Sometimes a wife's behavior may seem inexplicable and reckless to her husband. But you need to realize that frequent mood swings are common to all women. Joyful moments in life can make your wife very happy, while sad moments can make her depressed. You might want everything to be smooth and calm in your marriage, but your wife behaves differently. What to do in such situations? Don't give in to her mood, be balanced. After all, maybe she married you because on a subconscious level she wanted to be as emotionally stable as you. You can become a reliable support for your wife, because you are not subject to the same mood swings as hers. So don't panic when this happens to your wife. Be kind and patient. Don't blame yourself and, on the other hand, don't try to criticize her and urge her to stop acting like a capricious child.

9. Help your wife try to improve your marriage.

As a rule, if women are not satisfied with something in their marriage, they turn to books, psychologists and clergy for help. They want to make positive changes, and this hurts the ego of many men, and they resist such attempts from their wives. Such a husband will most likely refuse to read an article about raising children suggested to him by his wife, as he will perceive it as criticism of himself. But take my advice: read this article! What do you have to lose? You might even learn something!..

The wedding ceremony does not provide the newlyweds with the necessary knowledge to married life. We all need to learn the art of family relationships. Any husband can read a couple of dozen books on this topic, as a result of which he will definitely become more experienced in matters family life. If your wife asks you to go together to a family conference, seminar, or talk with a psychologist, do not neglect her suggestions. But if, in his stubbornness and pride, the husband rejects any ideas on how to improve the marriage, then let him not be surprised when his wife simply leaves him. So donate your time, don’t be stubborn and build a happy marriage together with your wife. Don't be satisfied with what you have and don't tell her that she expects too much from you.

10. Know her individual needs and make an effort to meet them.

No two wives are alike. The one you married is different from all other women. At first glance, her needs may seem endless or irrational to you, and you will decide that you will never be able to satisfy them all. But it’s worth trying to at least find out what your wife needs, what she wants, what she loves. And then try to satisfy these needs to the best of your ability. This does not mean that you should indulge all her selfish whims, but you must learn to accept and respect even what seems insignificant and illogical. You will see how much happier she becomes if you don't neglect her.

Probably, the eternal dispute between men about how they see their ideal chosen one will never fade away. Every woman wants to become not just a good wife, but an ideal one. However, first you need to figure out what are the main qualities that ideal girl should have? After all, in different eras, in different countries these concepts may not coincide or be completely different; everyone sees the ideal in their own way. There are several ironclad rules that every wife who wants to get closer to or become ideal should know and adhere to.

What a woman should be like: 5 qualities of an ideal wife

An ideal is a combination of many factors that change over time. IN different times the ideals were radically different, but there are several qualities that will always be relevant. An ideal wife through the eyes of a man is not just a beautiful doll with beautiful figure and makeup, this is a combination of external and internal beauty. She should be an interesting conversationalist, partner, assistant, beautiful and well-groomed girl. Many people believe that it is simply impossible to achieve all this, however, this is not so.

There are five main qualities that men value and women admire:

• Wisdom. There is a wisdom that comes only with age, and some are able to develop it in themselves, and at the same time be restrained, meaningful, learn from the mistakes of others, constantly improve and develop. Such a girl will become the idol of many, and the wife will inspire her husband to take bold actions.
• External data. The main thing is grooming. A man will not admire his wife with a dirty head, in stretched sweatpants and a sloppy manicure, so external beauty is one of the main tricks and steps towards ideality.
• Thrift. A skilled housewife in the kitchen will always please a man with delicious and delicious dishes, and he will appreciate her for this and love her even more. A girl should be diversified and have time to do a lot.

• Ability to support. Although men are called the stronger sex, they are by no means that. They also want female warmth, attention and support, so they need to be able to cheer them up in time, give them strength, and an impetus to new achievements. A girl friend is one of the qualities that will help you get closer to the ideal.
• Enthusiasm and optimism. A constantly sad, depressed spouse is unlikely to have a positive influence on her husband. The ideal wife is cheerful, cheerful, and understands humor.

Women's wisdom

There is a proverb: “ Ideal relationship No. There is a woman’s wisdom not to notice men’s stupidity.” Perhaps this is true, because a wise wife is not only experience accumulated over the years, but also constant work on oneself. There are several interesting factors that will help a woman become wiser and answer the question of how to become an ideal wife.

• If you graduated from Harvard (or something like that), you have best job If you know several languages, but your husband cannot boast of such skills, then you should not demonstrate and humiliate your man. A wise girl never shouts about her experience or brags to her man.
• Being a strong-willed girl, sometimes it’s worth being a little weaker in front of your husband. A wise wife will support and help in time, and when necessary, she will be a weak house cat.
• The ability to listen and hear are the qualities of an ideal wife. Wisdom is to learn from others, to constantly develop, and for this you need to hear someone other than yourself.
• The ideal representative of the fairer sex has her own friends, her own social circle, interests, which should remain a mystery to her husband. This could be drawing, sports, learning languages ​​and much more. Wisdom is something we learn throughout our lives, so you shouldn’t wait until old age to acquire one of the qualities of an ideal woman.

Grooming and sexuality

Not all the qualities of an ideal woman are within us; it plays a big role for a man. appearance his wife. If you want your husband to be proud of you and also admire you, be on top of your game at all times. In the morning, it is best to wake up an hour before he gets up, get yourself in order, prepare a delicious breakfast, and not sleep until the last minute, and then gallop around the apartment with unkempt hair and sleepy eyes.

Even the most practical girls who prefer a sporty style of clothing should own at least several pairs of heels. Skinny jeans, shirt and stilettos – effective method attract the attention of individuals of the opposite sex. When girls exude sexuality, no guy can resist it. Husbands get used to seeing their wives at home, in negligee, and if you show him a completely different side of the coin, he will appreciate such a transformation. It is important not to be afraid to be beautiful, go for a manicure, go to a beauty salon, or arrange such procedures at home.

To look ideal and attractive for your husband, throw away stretched T-shirts, bathrobes, and sweatpants. At home you are a queen. Buy a pair of beautiful satin shorts, T-shirts or a neat knitted robe. Hair tied in a bun is also not an ideal appearance; it is better to give preference to a neat ponytail, or buy a shell clip that will diversify your hairstyle at home.

Good cooking and housekeeping skills

Since ancient times, a woman has been the keeper of the hearth. Much changes, but a thrifty wife who knows how to cook is valued at all times. Ideal woman who does not know how to cook ceases to be such in the eyes of a man. It is not at all necessary to surprise your husband with Mediterranean delights, although if you have culinary talents, then such qualities will definitely be appreciated.

The smell of a baked pie, cleanliness in the house, comfort and coziness can only be created by a woman, so in order to get one step closer to ideality, do not be lazy to take care of the house and your husband. It is important that he is always full, even if breakfast is at 6 in the morning, therefore, in order not to torment himself with constant cooking, the ideal wife makes the preparations in the evening, and in the morning all that remains is to heat it up.

Divide household responsibilities too great idea. The husband may be responsible for preparing meat dishes and doing more complex cleaning to make life easier for his beloved wife. However, you should present this idea with imagination, serving it with the right sauce so that the man has no reason to refuse you.

Faith in a man, support from a spouse

The qualities of an ideal wife are also faith in her beloved man and support in difficult situations. The hugs of his beloved wife will warm and lift the spirits of any man. To become an ideal wife, you need to understand your soulmate, be there, and give compliments. Ridicule and humiliation are the lot weak women, but the wise act completely differently, finding a reason for praise in any event.

To be an ideal wife, the role of a mistress is not enough; you need to become a friend, buddy, ally. When there is something to talk about with a woman, this is a good sign for a man; such women are valued, respected, and in combination with other positive qualities they become ideal in every sense of the word. Don’t be afraid to thank your husband, talk about how brave, smart he is and what good decisions he made.

Good sense of humor and optimism

Depression, bad mood, lack of a sense of humor - these qualities have never graced any woman. An ideal wife should be cheerful, positive, understand jokes and not be offended over trifles. Sometimes you should play along with your husband, even if you don't quite understand his humor.

Men love positive women who know how to laugh, have fun and sometimes be reckless. Doing crazy things is healthy. There is only one life - laugh, joke, love, don’t let yourself get bored in each other’s company. To diversify and add extreme to your relationship, do unusual surprises, arrange unexpected and non-standard holidays, original dates.

Watch the video to see how cool a wife organized a surprise for her husband.

Which of these rules do you agree with and which do you not? And which of them does your husband follow?

1. The first thing a husband should do when returning home is to hug and kiss his wife.

2. Ask your wife about the past day, show interest in her friends, the books she reads.

3. Learn to listen and ask questions.

4. Resist the temptation to solve her problems and instead express your sympathy to her.

5. Be sure to spend some time every day talking with your wife. At the same time, do not be distracted by the TV, mobile phone or internet

6. Bring flowers to your wife, both on the occasion of a celebration and for no particular reason. Let this be a pleasant surprise for her.

7. Don’t wait until Friday to ask your wife how she would like to spend the weekend, plan everything in advance.

8. If your wife needs to cook dinner and she is tired or very busy, you should offer to help her.

9. Compliment your wife.

10. Respect her feelings when she is angry or upset.

11. Offer your help when your wife feels tired.

12. While staying somewhere, call home and warn her.

13. If the wife asks for help, the husband can agree or refuse if it is not possible, but he should not reproach her for turning to him.

14. If the wife’s feelings are hurt, the husband should express his sympathy to her: “I’m very sorry that you’re going through this.” And say nothing more. Give her the opportunity to appreciate his attention. Do not offer advice, do not try to prove that her experiences are not his fault.

15. Explain to your wife the reasons for your concern. Speak convincingly and level-headedly so she doesn't imagine the worst.

16. If your wife usually washes the dishes, offer her your services from time to time, especially if she is tired.

17. When leaving home, ask if you need to go to the store. Don't forget what she asked you to do.

19. Tell your wife “I love you” at least twice a day.

20. If someone has upset his wife, the husband is obliged to take her side.

21. Offer to give her a back, neck, leg or general massage.

22. Don’t forget about affection.

READ ALSO: 5 things men hate about sex

23. When in public with your wife, pay more attention to her than to others.

24. Go to the theater, philharmonic, opera, ballet or other places where she likes to go together.

25. Treat with understanding if the wife is delayed, planning to go somewhere with her husband.

26. Give your wife small gifts.

27. Buy clothes for her. Although women say that you should definitely try on clothes before buying, nevertheless, your wife will be very happy with a new blouse in her wardrobe. In extreme cases, the item can be changed.

28. Photograph your wife on special days.

29. Arrange short romantic walks and dinners.

30. Let the wife know that her husband carries her photo in his wallet.

31. On special occasions, such as anniversaries or birthdays, write a letter or card to your wife.

32. Pay attention to how your wife looks, and do not forget to speak out about this and give compliments.

33. Write love messages to your wife or dedicate poems to her in order to pleasantly surprise her.

34. Show her the same signs of attention and try to behave with her in the same way as at the beginning of your acquaintance.

35. Don't avoid men's housework. Always ask if anything needs to be fixed or done.

37. Open the door for your wife.

38. When traveling, take care of your luggage.

39. When your wife cooks, evaluate her culinary art.

40. When a wife talks to her husband, he should look at her and not away.

41. Be interested in how your wife feels, what her mood is.

42. Try to go to bed at the same time as her.

43. When leaving, kiss your wife.

44. Laugh when she jokes.

45. When a wife does something for her husband, he should always thank her.

46. ​​Find time to be alone with her.

47. Show your wife that you were bored while away at work.

48. If your wife usually buys groceries, offer to do it instead. Always offer help with shopping.

49. Lower the toilet seat.

50. Let your wife get acquainted with this list, and let her add to it if she wishes.

And the most important thing, no, not a rule, the most important thing is a sincere desire to be with a person, to love, understand and care for him.

On our website you can find a lot of materials and tips for those who want to improve the relationship between husband and wife in marriage. For those who want to build their family relationships and their love on a solid foundation, we want to offer useful tips wives about their love for their husbands and children.

Nowadays they often talk about unconditional love to the child, that sometimes it begins to seem as if the whole family is built on this. There is a sad joke: " Nowadays children are in fashion, but fathers are not" This is precisely about such family situations when the attention and care of the mother is unequally distributed between the children and their father. If our parental roles are relatively temporary, then marital roles are for life. After all, when the children grow up and leave the “nest,” we will again be left alone with our husband.

Therefore, every time there is dissatisfaction with the husband, it is very good remedy- ask yourself the question: “How can I change thanks to this situation?” And then very soon you will be able to see the “untilled field” within yourself and forget about plans to “re-educate” your husband.

The paradox of family life is that the husband is ready to adequately participate in the life of the family and children only when he has a good relationship with his wife.

Ephesians 5:33 “However, each of you must love his wife as himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

The fact is that the husband “reads” (accepts, feels) his wife’s love only through self-respect. Don't compare with yourself: we women are different.

1. Respect your husband’s territory, then he will respect your territory. You don’t need to clean up your husband’s table without his permission, don’t throw away your husband’s things without his knowledge (for example, old T-shirt or sneakers). His territory is also his personal phone, computer, his pages and folders on the computer, his diary, diaries, personal letters, and so on.

2. The next tip is about personal space. The husband’s personal space is also his work and his illness. Without his consent, you cannot share with anyone about his work, especially about your husband’s problems at work (if he has any). Also, without the consent of the husband, you cannot share with anyone about his illnesses or sores, if any. Even asking for them. This will be extremely disrespectful to your husband.

3. Simple, but important advice wives - do not comment on your husband’s habits with other people, even with relatives or with your children.

4. Listen to your husband without interrupting. This is also a sign of respect shown to the husband by the wife. I read somewhere: " Love is not like when someone brings you a bouquet of roses and you smell them. Love is when they tell you all day about 95 gasoline and you listen to it».

5. Don’t make comments to your husband! None! Get the point across in other ways and maneuvers or with clarifying questions.

6. It’s better to “collect” your husband’s strengths rather than his shortcomings. It has been noticed: if a wife constantly scolds her husband for his shortcomings, then his shortcomings intensify. If the wife praises and notices his good sides, then the husband becomes even better. I advise you to get a notebook and write down best qualities her husband, so as not to forget about them. It really helps to be grateful during difficult times!

7. Very important advice - admire your husband! Not only do we wives need compliments and words of admiration, but our husband also needs our admiration. There is an example when a smart, wise, rich and powerful woman openly admires the achievements of a man. This is the Queen of Sheba. She specially came from afar to personally express her admiration for Solomon.

1st Kings 10:7-8 “I believed not the words until I came, and mine eyes saw: and behold, not even half was told to me; You have more wisdom and wealth than I heard. Blessed are your people and blessed are your servants, who always stand before you and hear your wisdom!

8. Sexual relationships are also very important point to show love and respect for the husband on the part of the wife. Therefore, if a husband is waiting for sex in bed, then you need to give it to him. The husband should not be deprived of intimate life. And he should not feel like a pathetic supplicant when turning to his wife for affection and intimacy.

The husband must be sexually satisfied. Otherwise, the wife sins, pushing her husband into various kinds of temptations. In general, sex for a man is a very important moment for his awareness of himself, his masculinity and worldview. Therefore, plan your schedule so that you have energy left for your husband, and you do not spend everything on work or children.

9. Modern world such is that society gives concessions to women, but not to men. If a man doesn't make a lot of money, he is called a "loser." If a man cannot afford to buy a car, they say about him: “he is not a man.” Therefore, there is no need to become like this world and hang “labels” on your husband. If a wife respects her husband, then everyone around him respects him. Children also respect their father.

10. Children are a wonderful mirror. family relations. By the behavior of children, you can immediately determine what kind of reputation the father has in a given family. Because children very subtly feel who has the final say in the family.

I will give several examples of improper upbringing of children by mothers in whom there is no respectful attitude of the wife towards her husband and the children towards the father.

• The husband forbade the child something, but he goes to his mother for another solution.
• The child believes (and declares this to everyone) that mom knows better than dad.
• If dad and mom are together, but, having received instructions from the father, the child looks at mom waiting for the final command to act.
• The child allows himself to discuss his father’s actions out loud.

“Our dad was lying on the couch all evening yesterday” or “Our dad’s arms are growing in the wrong place” and so on. It’s immediately obvious that these are “adult” phrases - mother’s! The authority of the father is developed much earlier, when the children are still small. After all, when children grow up, they adolescence Mom can’t handle them alone.

11. Also maintain your husband’s reputation among friends and relatives (especially your relatives). In this regard, our mothers and close girlfriends are very “dangerous”.

12. And the last advice to wives - be sure to forgive your husband! For all! Easy and fast! We must not forget that we also make mistakes: we spill milk, break dishes, stain clothes, forget something, be late for something, and so on. Making mistakes is normal in our lives!
Being a wife is a big and responsible job, since family relationships are not built on their own. You need to work on them!

“And in all circumstances give thanks to God” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

We hope these tips for wives will help strengthen your relationship with your husband. You can apply these tips, but remember that everyone is different. Every woman and every man has their own character and life experience. There is no universal advice for either wives or husbands.

January 2018
Susanna Anayan, Moscow Church of Christ

“And the Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it!” (Genesis 2:15)

There is nothing more valuable than family on earth. Family is what you will be left with when everything is gone. Everything changes: friends, work, circumstances - but family remains.

When God created the man Adam, He entrusted him with the responsibility of guarding the garden and everything that was given to him, including his wife. In any situation in the life of a family, the man is to blame. If the husband is responsible for the family, then he will not allow anything bad to happen there. Most often, when conflicts occur in a family, and they come from a woman, this is her reaction to the current situation in the family.

The biggest sin of Adam the man was the sin of inaction. It was because Adam was inactive that the devil found an opportunity to enter the garden and tempt Eve. If he had fulfilled his role responsibly and guarded the garden, then the devil would not have had the opportunity to speak to his wife. And the sin of inaction gave birth to the sin of wrong actions. Adam's sin seeped into future generations. The most important and fundamental sin of a man is the sin of irresponsibility and passivity towards his family. It is because of this sin that families break up and this is where single mothers come from - because the man throws off responsibility.

When Jesus separated the goats from the sheep, He said to the goats, “Depart from Me, you cursed, into hell of fire.” Jesus told them this not because they did anything wrong, but because they did NOTHING. God shows us how unacceptable the sin of inaction and irresponsibility is to him.

And the characteristic sin of a woman is to go beyond her capabilities and seize power in those areas where power belongs to a man. Since men are inactive, women are forced to take responsibility for their family. When a man is passive and a woman takes on the role of head of the family, this is a disaster. This does not mean that such a family will necessarily fall apart, but there will not be correct relationships. A man, according to God's idea, is a responsible, proactive person, and a woman is his assistant. A woman should not manage all processes in the family. If a man is not interested in anything other than the newspaper, TV, food, sex and work, and thinks that the wife should be responsible for everything else, then such a family is headed for destruction.

Women must take this step and tell their husbands: “You are the man, you make the decision. I will not do it"

A woman needs to feel protected. A man must take responsibility for his marriage and for his wife. Wives suffer from their husbands' irresponsibility. But a woman does not need to remain silent, but tell a man about her suffering.

In what main areas should a man take responsibility:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her (Ephesians 5:25)

1) Love your wife.

If a man does not love his wife, he is living in disobedience to God.

Let men do whatever they want, do not love their wives - they are not obedient to God. This is not about the emotional aspect of love, but about the strong-willed decision to love your wife no matter what. Every man must make a firm decision to love his wife, no matter what happens. It's about love that gives itself for someone; love that sacrifices for someone. Men often sacrifice for the sake of their career, finances, and position in society, but real men sacrifice themselves so that their wife knows and is confident that her husband loves her.

A wife should see and feel her husband's love. If your wife can say with confidence: “My husband loves me,” then you good husband. The decision to love leads to sacrifice and dedication.

2) The husband must be attentive and receptive.

3) A man must make decisions.

A husband and wife can discuss some topics together, but the final decision must be made by the man. But in our families it is often different. Men throw off responsibility, and the woman is forced to make the decision. It is the man who must take responsibility and make any decisions in the family. It is decision making that makes a man a man. Coordinating with your wife, consulting, discussing with your wife - but making decisions on your own. Making decisions elevates men. If a man is unable to make decisions, he does not deserve respect. If a man has made a decision, a woman should not stop her husband and worry about it, let go of this situation, let the man himself be responsible for it.

4) A man must take action.

It is the husband who must begin to act on the basis decision taken. A man must initiate the process of launching any solution. A husband can assign numerous household responsibilities to his wife, but at the same time, a man should not place an unbearable burden of responsibility for the family on his wife. He shouldn't come home just to sleep and eat. The husband should not be a guest in the family. A wife should be able to count on her husband in any situation.

5) Every man in the family must nourish and warm his wife.

“So ought husbands to love their wives as their own bodies: he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church” (Ephesians 5:28,29).

If a husband loves his wife, nourishes and warms her, he will reap such a harvest that he himself will fly on the wings of happiness. Every husband should warm up and cultivate a SPECIAL attitude towards his wife in his heart. Every man should have this attitude in his heart: “My wife is special, she is extraordinary, not like everyone else.” A husband should treat his wife as he has never treated any woman. A woman should be treated with tenderness and respect, not with disdain. Don’t call your wives “Tanya, Natashka, Svetka, Lenka,” let it be “Tanyusha, Lenochka and Svetochka.”

A husband should be concerned about his wife's well-being. The husband should pay attention to his wife's hairstyle and outfits and should take the initiative. A real man should care about how his wife looks and what she wears. A woman is like a flower that needs to be looked after, watered and fertilized. A wife must be sure that for her husband she is the most important person on earth.

6) A husband should praise his wife.

“The children get up and please her,” the husband praises her: “There were many virtuous women, but you surpassed them all” (Proverbs 31:28,29).

If you have a faithful and devoted wife, then the least you can do for her is to express your heartfelt praise to her. Those husbands who are stingy with praise do not value their wives enough. Praise your wives for taking care of the home, for her appearance, for her successes, for everything she does.