Does the child need a kindergarten? Does the "home" child need friends?

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Kindergarten or home education?

It was somewhat easier for the previous generation of parents: they had no choice whether or not to send their child to kindergarten. Almost all children, with the exception of rare exceptions who remained under the supervision of grandmothers, attended kindergartens and even nurseries. This was a dire necessity as maternity leave of three years is relatively new. In some ways, the situation in the past was worse, because having a choice is always good, but in some ways it is better, since the parents did not rack their brains over an unsolvable problem, what would be better for the child, go to kindergarten or educate at home.

Parents who sent their children to kindergarten could not choose an institution with this or that program, with the study of foreign languages, with special preparation for school or education according to a special pedagogical theory. All kindergartens were of the same type, children were distributed by registration, and most people did not have any other options.

Now the situation is different. There are many different kindergartens, literally different from each other. Parents feel the need to think about which program to prefer in order to best develop the abilities of the little person. Institutions are now competing with standard state kindergartens, such as Waldorf pedagogy, the Montessori system, as well as various educational and development centers, kindergartens with in-depth study of a foreign language or other subject. Even state kindergartens try not to get out of the way and follow fashion, focusing on the development of any quality of character or knowledge of children.

As soon as a baby appears in the family, young parents are already thinking, which kindergarten is more suitable for his character, where they will respect him and carefully look after him, as well as teach him useful things and develop him. What is more important, the development of artistic abilities and aesthetic sense or physical education, sports, health? What can be done to make the child want to go to kindergarten every day, not be capricious and not throw tantrums, where he will be especially interested?

And isn't the problem around the choice of kindergarten overblown? For most parents kindergarten is a necessityas mother and father need to work. Even enlightened and well-read parents who understand psychology and dream of raising a young genius often cannot pay for many clubs, tutors, nannies, individual lessons with a child, sections, early development schools. This, of course, does not mean at all that a child who does not study in circles and individually will certainly grow up stupid and limited.

How to help your child adapt to kindergarten

Attending kindergarten is necessary for the child, but in no case mental peculiarities cannot be ignored each specific kid, his reactions to the new environment, you cannot attach a child to the first kindergarten that comes along. In the case of children, the postulate is incorrect that you just need to get used to it and everything will be fine. The psychology and reactions of young children differ significantly from the psychology of adults. So, in order to choose the right and suitable garden that will help the little person harmoniously integrate into the world around him and master new knowledge, first of all, you need to clearly understand why you are sending your child to the garden, what are the advantages and disadvantages of this solution. It is necessary to mentally prepare yourself for the big work that cannot be avoided - helping the child adapt to new conditions.

Your goal should be not only the absence of complaints and whims of the child when visiting the garden, but the search for such conditions in which the baby will be most comfortable with learning and growing... Even in the current unstable economic situation, not the richest parents may well find a suitable kindergarten, if they approach the choice responsibly and do not let the solution of this issue take its course.

You need to be flexible and ready to meet the needs of the child, to change, within reasonable limits, his mode or lifestyle, if these changes can help him in the process of adaptation and establishment of communication in kindergarten with peers and educators. Do not give up, do not give up halfway and do not rush, expecting an instant addiction from the child's side, look and try different approaches, changing the kindergarten if necessary.

What positive can kindergarten give? It has long been believed that a child who did not go to kindergarten, then with more difficulty than other children, gets used to school and being in a group of peers. But often these difficulties are due to the facts that the children who attended kindergarten, firstly, the majority, and the majority, set generally accepted norms of behavior and communication, and secondly, earlier children in whole groups from kindergarten went to one class of one school in the place registration and expelled from their collective by chance a newcomer.

But these days the picture has changed. Very a large number of children, compared with past decades, does not attend kindergarten... They almost never go to school in groups from the garden, the team is more motley. The diversity is also due to the fact that children received completely different education: someone studied at home with their parents, someone went to a regular state kindergarten, someone was taught by hired teachers, someone has already visited several sections and early development centers.

And against the background of the diversity that came, it became noticeable that the "home" children are no worse than "kindergarten"... If the parents worked with the child appropriately, then he can show no less independence, sociability and initiative than children who have mastered the primary social norms in kindergarten.

Kindergarten: pros and cons

What kindergarten can give a child? The very first and most important thing is involvement in the team, communication with peers. Starting from the age of three, the baby feels the need to communicate with other children of his age. Therefore, no matter how withdrawn and uncommunicative the parents themselves are, they must provide an opportunity for the child to communicate with other children.

Communication of children in kindergarten with educators helps them learn to connect with other adults, and in the future such children find it easier to find a common language with school teachers. A child in kindergarten begins to understand that not all adults are like his parents, that they communicate in different ways, that not only parents need to be obeyed. The child begins to master many different behavioral patterns.

Also in kindergarten a child learns to follow the established rules of behavior and regime more strictly... It disciplines and helps teach the child a sense of responsibility for their actions and words.

Kindergarten cannot provide the required level of development intelligence and physical fitness of the child. Parents should deal with it themselves. But if they do not have the opportunity to do this, and at home the child is left to himself and dubious entertainment, then attendance of kindergarten is strictly necessary for him. Even an ordinary public kindergarten will teach a child to draw, sculpt, assemble a constructor, solve puzzles, train speech and memory, listen to music and sing, run and do exercises.

Seriously minded young parents can ensure the full development of the child's physical and mental abilities at home by regularly playing sports and correctly selected exercises, learning poems and songs with the child, helping him to assemble a set, draw and paint. But social development and training of the ability to interact with the team is much more difficult to provide. Parents who want to replace their child attending kindergarten on their own need to carefully plan how and how they will teach the child the rules of behavior in a team with children and adults.

A child who does not attend kindergarten should spend much more time in playgrounds, playing and communicating with other children of his age. It is necessary that he be able to choose a few regular friends from among his peers who visit the same playground. The "home" child should be taken to visit more often to other children and invite his friends with their parents to his home.

Mothers who raise their child at home until school usually do not trust their precious child to other adults, even grandmothers, grandfathers, girlfriends and other close people. They are afraid that others will "wrong" raise the baby and harm him. But these young mothers risk harming the child themselves, since he has the skill of communication with other adults is not developed, he will be spoiled and will not master a sufficient number of behavioral patterns. Those parents who believe that no one, except themselves, will be able to properly communicate with the child and raise him correctly, first of all need to work on themselves and change this point of view. No parents can ever replace the whole world with all its diversity for a baby. It is better for a child to get acquainted with other adults from an early age, since during his life he will communicate not only with his parents.

If the kindergarten, nevertheless, causes persistent prejudice, be sure to choose a hobby group or section for your child. Sometimes leave your baby for a day with friends. If you are friends with other young parents, by all means visit each other at least twice a week... Even a couple of hours of such regular communication with other people can give a child a lot. Children will learn to find a common language with each other and realize that it is necessary to obey not only their parents.

Be sure to watch how your baby communicates at a party or playing in the playground. Isn't it difficult for him to make new acquaintances? Does he learn to follow the rules, does he break the line, does he take away their toys from other children, does he offend them and does he allow himself to be hurt? If until the age of five the child has not learned the rules of social behavior, then need to visit a child psychologist and ask him to find an alternative to kindergarten: development center, circle, section.

When to send a child to kindergarten?

The most appropriate age for a child's immersion in a social environment is four years. The postulate that it is better earlier, so that you get used to it earlier, is erroneous and fundamentally wrong. A small child one year old will suffer greatly from the fact that his mother is being replaced by an unfamiliar aunt, and he will not be able to understand the need for change due to his age. He will often get sick, worry a lot, and this stress will affect the future life and perception of the person. At the age of one and a half years, separation anxiety begins to weaken, that is, the child's anxiety associated with the possible loss of the mother (who is not currently around). But even at a year and a half, it is still too early to send a child to a nursery, since he reacts too painfully to strangers, only starting to treat them more calmly. The most important thing in the life of a one and a half-year-old child is his mother, he strives to always be there and not let her go anywhere.

Only children from so-called dysfunctional families quickly get used to the nursery. They usually hide from their parents who came after them and do not respond when they call them, but not at all because they do not want to leave the game that has carried them away.

At the age of three, children begin to take an interest in their peers. At the same time, children are first carried away by the society of older comrades, then by the younger ones, and only then by their peers.

Summing up the interim results, it should be noted that sending the child to the nursery at the age of one and a half years is not worth it... Better to look for work at home or partner with other young parents to take turns on the watch. Go through all the options to avoid going to the nursery.

At two years old, it is already easier for children to adapt in a nursery. Of course, a child is a child, and in general the age is still quite young for immersion in society, but many sociable children may already like kindergarten and games with peers. In this case, a lot depends on the educators and their approach to children. If the child knows how to walk to the potty on his own, wield a spoon, and if on your trial arrival with him to the nursery he was frankly interested in the environment and was not afraid of anyone, then feel free to give him to the nursery.

Without losing your vigilance, monitor the health, mood of the child in the first weeks of getting used to the nursery. If it becomes morally difficult for him, he often cries and does not want to go anywhere, do not persist in the desire to accustom a two-year-old child to a nursery. Take a year or two, then the adaptation process will be much easier. Otherwise, he may have the impression for many years that visiting nurseries and kindergartens is associated with coercion and negative emotions. In addition, the constant illness of children will still prevent parents from going to work regularly. And how can you sacrifice a child's health for the sake of work, leaving him with psychological trauma for life? Preparing for kindergarten can take a long time, it is impossible to complete it at an accelerated pace in a week, and there is no need to rush and nowhere.

So, one of the main rules is by no means take your time to send your child to kindergarten... Work well with him at home and provide him with communication in playgrounds and at a party with other children and adults. There is a desire - try it, but do not insist on visiting a nursery if the child is not yet ready for it.

Nursery: benefit or harm?

Kindergarten and nursery are different things and they leave a completely different imprint on the personality of the child. It happens that parents want to send the baby to a nursery as soon as possible in order to develop self-service skills (the child's ability to dress and undress independently, go to the toilet, eat). Of course, at home, the child will learn this more slowly, and in the nursery he simply will not have a way out, since there is only one teacher for fifteen or twenty of the same children, who, even if desired, cannot spoon-feed everyone with porridge alone.

Children who attended the nursery less proactive and independent in the future in decision making. The fact is that emotionality and activity as character traits are laid in a child in the first years of life.

A kindergarten will benefit the child to a greater extent than a nursery, which more often harm the fragile psyche of a small person.

How can you reduce the stress of kindergarten?

If a child is experiencing severe stress from attending kindergarten, then it is not at all necessary that he will arrange scandals and tantrums. Much depends on the character of the baby, a passive form of rejection and resistance is also common - these are frequent colds.

It is also necessary to closely monitor the child's sleep, appetite, behavior and mood in the evening after returning from the garden. A relatively normal reaction is crying, falling asleep for a long time, lack of appetite, whims, but only for the first time after starting a visit to preschool. If a it's been three or four weeks, and the child still behaves in the same way, then this means that he poorly adapts to the kindergarten.

Then it is highly desirable to leave the child at home for another whole year. If this is completely impossible, you need to try to alleviate the stress: reduce your kindergarten stay to half the day instead of the whole day, try to leave it at home on Wednesday, transfer to another kindergarten, where there are fewer children per teacher.

If it seems to you that all this is completely impossible, then think carefully. You can find a way out of any situation, but child's health is always more important career values \u200b\u200b- remember this constantly.

Optimal age for kindergarten

Four years is the best age to start kindergarten. However, it is quite acceptable to send a child to kindergarten at three years old. It is at the age of three that the child begins to reach out to other children, he is no longer afraid of the absence of a mother, he is to some extent independent and knows how to eat himself. The time for the most exciting games with peers will come only at four years old, but at three you can start going to kindergarten.

You can choose a Solomon solution and show your child a kindergarten at three and a half years old. At first, go for walks with a group from kindergarten, then leave the child in the garden for half a day, so the process of getting used to the new environment will be as smooth and gradual as possible. If the baby is happy and he likes everything, start leaving him in the garden for a full day. If the child reacts with restraint to such innovations in his life, then follow this facilitated regimen of attending kindergarten up to four years. Do not worry that the child will not have time to learn something or "pass", as in school, some material. Remember that this is not a school yet and there is no strict program for such young children.

Be sure to do everything possible after the child's third birthday to expand the boundaries of the world he knows and get to know other adults and, of course, children.

How not to miss a place in kindergarten?

Be prepared for the fact that the scheme of ideal, smooth and gradual teaching of the child to kindergarten may change under the influence of external circumstances. Theory and plans are good, but life very often makes its own corrections. Only very wealthy parents, who are in the minority, can fully provide ideal conditions.

The very first thing that will change your plans is queue for kindergartens... About ten years ago, there was a decline in the birth rate, kindergartens were empty and were ready to accept everyone, regardless of where they lived. In those years, many preschool education institutions were closed. Now the birth rate has increased, but the number of kindergartens has remained the same. Therefore, the most correct solution would be queue up for kindergarten in the first year of a child's life.

If the child needs to stay at home for another year after trial visits to kindergartens, and it is risky to skip the queue, since then you may no longer see the kindergarten at all, then try to agree with the head of the kindergarten to pay for all receipts with the reservation of a place for you. Perhaps, such a service will require diplomatic skills and additional investments from you, but try to reach the necessary agreement, since the kindergarten for the child, sooner or later, is needed.

Get to know the young mothers in your area, collect information about kindergartens and the availability of places in them, do this immediately after the birth of the child. In this matter, you will have to rely mainly on your own activity and energy. Read reviews of kindergartens on the Internet, ask questions, clarifying the details - the more information, the better!

"Non-kindergarten" children: how to help adaptation

There is such a definition - "non-school" children. This is how doctors, parents, educators, psychologists call children who, as the name suggests, are not created to attend kindergartens. However, such categoricalness raises very big doubts. Are there really children who are not created to attend kindergarten, or is this the result of insufficient work of parents and educators? The problem lies in the degree of justification for the efforts required to adapt the child to kindergarten. With some of the children you need to work less, with someone more. Sometimes this "more" requires so much effort that all the benefits of attending kindergarten eventually come to naught.

Three main types addictive reactions to kindergarten:

1) Nervous breakdowns, tantrums, moods, frequent illnesses. The reaction is violent and pronounced;

2) Frequent illnesses against the background of the child's quiet behavior;

3) No signs of stress.

Half of the children show no signs of stress. And only the second half demonstrates the first or second type of reactions. But this does not mean that 50% of children should be brought up exclusively at home until school.

Such a high prevalence of the first and second types of reactions is due to the fact that many parents do not preliminarily conduct no preparation for kindergarten... They put him in a new, unusual environment, without preparing their child for this. For adults, joining a new team has long been a habit. It is necessary to abstract from your point of view and understand that a child going to kindergarten is the first such experience. He needs help, training and try to facilitate the adaptation process as much as possible.

How can it manifest adaptation process? In addition to whims, unwillingness to go to the garden and illness, this is a strong emotional shock, unwillingness to communicate, which can manifest itself even in a hitherto active child. Children may even have problems with articulation and speech, which have not been observed before, they may “forget” from the stress they have endured, how to independently perform certain self-care actions, they may love to sit still for a long time, sleep poorly, and eat.

What if the child cannot adapt to kindergarten?

What to do and what are the reasons, if even well-planned and carried out work did not help the child to adapt in kindergarten?

Answer the following questions for yourself. Is your child the right age for kindergarten? Has he had any negative experience of attending a nursery in the past? Even if he does not remember how he went to the nursery, the child still has some kind of imprint of the situation at the level of emotions and experiences, and if the impressions were negative, then one should not expect quick adaptation in kindergarten. In this case, postpone the beginning of visits to the kindergarten for another six months or a year, continuing to walk with the kindergarten group or be friends with the children from the group the rest of the time.

Analyzethe character and habits of your child - what is his type of temperament from birth? The easiest and fastest way to get used to kindergarten are sanguine people, but choleric and phlegmatic people usually have problems. Choleric people often behave too actively, they run all the time, shout, play pranks, quarrel, fight. Phlegmatic people, on the contrary, are very calm and restrained, they often lag behind other children, as they do everything slower than their peers. If your child is choleric or phlegmatic, then talk to the teacher about it. Find out how the baby behaves in the group during the day, and explain to the teacher the characteristics of his temperament. Do not hesitate to do this, as the teacher may, for various reasons, not notice this and put too much pressure on your child, trying to force him to behave in a way that would be especially difficult for him. A phlegmatic person cannot be rushed with threats and fear of punishment, as a result of pressure he will withdraw into himself and will do everything even more slowly. His natural sluggishness with good and patient communication with the baby will gradually smooth out and become less noticeable. All people have a different character and habits, and this manifests itself already in early childhood: someone prefers to rush in a whirlwind and do everything instantly, while someone slowly, slowly goes to their goal, calmly and confidently. Therefore, be sure to have a serious conversation with the educators and prove your point of view with arguments: the phlegmatic person should not be rushed and tugged nervously.

As for the little choleric people, here the teacher needs to explainthat the child behaves in this way, not because he wants to harm and anger everyone, and also not because his parents were not involved in raising him, but simply he has such a character. In the future, choleric people learn to restrain themselves to some extent, but children are spontaneous and have not yet learned the norms of social behavior. Be sure to advise educators, without waiting for them to get to this by trial and error themselves, to keep your hyperactive child busy with activities that will require a lot of strength and energy. A choleric person will not be able to sit in one place for a long time and assiduously, but if he performs exercises or dances for a long time, then his destructive activity at other times will be minimized. Does the child like to turn the room into a real chaos, throwing toys around him? Let it be he who collects them - most likely, this will be done just as quickly, while his energy will be directed into a creative channel. The main thing is to ask him about it, and not to force him under pain of punishment.

In case the educators do not meet you halfway, it makes sense look for another garden or transfer to another group to another caregiver.

Think about yourself and your character, how quickly and easily do you get used to changes? How confident are you among unfamiliar people? How quickly do you learn? Remember heredity. If you yourself are a closed person and love loneliness, then it is very likely that your child will behave the same way. An introverted child will be uncomfortable among a large noisy group of children, but depriving him of a kindergarten and leaving him at home is also wrong. It is best for him to find a small group of interests, in which he will not spend the whole day, as in kindergarten.

Who shouldn't be sent to kindergarten?

Do not send your child to kindergarten if he is from infancy often and a lot sick... In kindergarten, he will get sick even more, he will not be able to attend normally and will further undermine his own health. There is no need to send children with an unstable nervous system to a regular kindergarten. In this case, it will do more harm than good. Take an interest health kindergartens, but approach the decision to assign the child there with caution: if the kindergarten is overcrowded, you should not expect a health-improving effect. In such kindergartens, a variety of health-improving and strengthening procedures (all kinds of massage, tempering, oxygen cocktails) are regularly carried out.

In this case, parents are best off on their own. take care of the child's health: choose only healthy and wholesome food, walk a lot with the child, set the daily routine (in no case change it abruptly, shift it gradually, no more than 10 minutes a day), slowly harden if the child's doctor approves such an undertaking. Try to find some kind of preschool, circle, center or group for your child, which he could attend a couple of times a week, go with him more often to show him other people and slowly teach the baby to communicate with them.

Preparing your child for kindergarten

So, the kindergarten is usually blamed for the following: frequent illness of the child, asocial behavior (theft, abuse, deception, aggression). It is worth remembering that diseases - a consequence of the child's adaptation to kindergarten, and not inappropriate care of educators, as many think. If the adaptation is quick and painless, the child stops getting sick. As for the antisocial behavior, which the child “experiences” with interest on the parents, the child needs to clearly explain why it is impossible to behave or say such words, but you don’t need to emotionally emphasize this fact or arrange a “concert” about each non-literary word. ... Make sure that your child does not use shocking behavior to get your attention.

Remember that the more attached a child is to his mother and his family, the harder and longer it will take him to get used to kindergarten. Do not forget that the presence of the adaptation period itself is the norm. The only children in the family, spoiled children, children not accustomed to independence, unbalanced children experiencing fears (darkness, loneliness, etc.), children who have suffered severe psychological trauma, children accustomed to being the center of attention, insecure and very different children, as well as children whose parents are very nervous about the upcoming visit of their child to kindergarten.

Talk to your child before sending him to kindergarten. Set him up for a positive, tell only the good things that the kindergarten can give, do not intimidate and try to make him want to visit this wonderful place. You can tell him stories from your childhood and your own kindergarten visit (always good and positive). In advance adjust the child's daily routine under the kindergarten regime, so as not to create additional stress for him. Make sure that the children familiar to him from the playgrounds will go to the kindergarten with him, if not, try to introduce him to one of the children and with the educators in advance.

Play with your child by sending a teddy bear or other toy to kindergarten, and then talk to her, asking about what happened during the day. So you will be able to track in time and, if necessary, correct the expectations of your child, notice what frightens him.

Be sure to pay attention to the atmosphere and setting in the chosen preschool institution. How clean is it, tidy, is there a guard. Some kindergartens have special adaptation programs kids, designed to help the child quickly get used to. For example, classes are practiced on weekends - especially for a few hours, the child is left in the kindergarten on weekends so that he gets used to it as soon as possible.

Be patient, loving and wise, think first of all about the benefits for the child, and you will succeed.

Summary: Does the child need a kindergarten. Pros and cons of kindergarten. Children in kindergarten. Developing activities in kindergarten. Reviews about kindergartens.

If a mother needs to go to work, and there is no one to leave the child with, then the question of whether the child needs a kindergarten disappears by itself. But what decision to take when there is a choice, whether to take the baby to kindergarten or not? In this article, we'll look at the pros and cons of attending a regular public kindergarten.

Cons of kindergarten:

1. Stress child caused separation from mom ... Many children, spending most of the day without their mother and other loved ones, feel a sense of emotional insecurity. In order for a child to grow up normally, learn to communicate and master other important skills and abilities, he needs constant emotional warmth, love and support. And in this respect, kindergarten cannot replace a family - after all, educators, no matter how good they are, cannot love everyone.

2. Quite a lot of children are psychologically overworked from the inability to be alone and do what you want.

3. Bad influence of peers ... Children from both more and less prosperous families gather in the group of an ordinary kindergarten, nothing can be done about it.

4. Frequent illnesses. Many working mothers, unable to constantly take sick leave, send their coughing and snotty children to kindergarten. Those, naturally, infect classmates. You can't get away from this phenomenon, tk. kindergarten is obliged to accept a child sick with a cold or flu if he does not have a fever.

5. Many parents and teachers, speaking about the advantages of attending kindergarten, the main emphasis is on the fact that in kindergarten the child learns to communicate with peers. We would like to slightly doubt this undeniable argument in favor of a child attending kindergarten.

Indeed, starting from about three years (and already from four - for sure!) The child needs to communicate with other children. And parents must give him this opportunity. But in kindergarten, the child usually gets used to the rather wild norms of relationships with other children ... If there are 15-20 children in a group, one teacher is simply not able to organize their communication with each other, therefore more assertive children often begin to oppress timid ones (take away toys from them, shove and push them away, and so on), and not so strong, but the more sociable learn to sneak and suck up to adults.

Kindergarten advantages:

1. Mode... Most adults are not used to living strictly according to the clock, while, in fact, it is very beneficial for the body - to eat, walk, go to bed at the same time every day.

2. Discipline. In kindergarten, the child gets acquainted with certain rules of behavior and learns to comply with them. The word "discipline" in many of us causes a rather negative attitude, since it is associated with the "equalizing" drill, adopted both in kindergartens and in schools of the Soviet era. But if we ignore these associations and understand by the word "discipline" only the ability to adhere to the necessary rules of human society, then we must admit that these skills are necessary for a child.

3. Independence. In the garden, the child has the opportunity to express himself, he is more independent, since there is no mother (grandmother) nearby, who will take away toys or feed from a spoon, in the garden the child does everything that is necessary according to his age, including caring behind yourself.

3. Communication with other adults. Until school age, parents are, of course, the only truly authoritative adults in a child's life. But the experience of communicating with educators in kindergarten helps the child to avoid further difficulties in establishing relationships with school teachers. The kid learns that in addition to the mother, there are other adults, whose opinions need to be listened to, and sometimes just obeyed.

4. In kindergarten, the child receives opportunities for intellectual and physical development ... Strictly speaking, the standard educational programs adopted in state kindergartens leave much to be desired: in many ordinary kindergartens, classes are not enough, and they are not conducted at the highest level. "Kindergarten" education alone is not enough for a child. In any case, parents should deal with the baby themselves. But if the "home" child spends whole days exclusively in front of the TV screen, then in kindergarten he, of course, will receive incomparably more. Drawing, modeling, construction, speech development, music lessons and physical education - this minimal "gentleman's set" will provide even the simplest state kindergarten. If you are lucky and you find a really good kindergarten (there are also state ones) with a good, extensive program, you can count on your baby to be really interested there.

5. Communication with peers. In the section "minuses of kindergarten" we have already mentioned that communication of children in kindergarten often happens spontaneously, teachers do not have time to teach pupils to communicate correctly, to resolve all children's conflicts. Therefore, some children, depending on their character and temperament, become either bully or quiet ones, who get used to obey more assertive comrades.

At the same time, if parents teach a child how to communicate with other children, talk with him about this topic, sort out conflict situations that arise with peers at home, if necessary, turn to the tutors for help, provide the child with support in difficult times, in this case, communication of a child with peers in kindergarten will bring him undoubted benefits and invaluable experience.

It should be noted here that a child will not be able to get such an experience of communicating with children on the playground or at developmental activities, where communication between children takes place under the supervision of a mother or a teacher.

I went to kindergarten from the age of three and I distinctly remember how those around me unanimously pitied me, unanimously declaring that it was too early and why torture the child. However, not even from three, but from five years old, few attended preschool institutions. There were very few such poor fellows in our class. Everyone else sat at home with their grandmothers before school.

The situation changed over time. And grandmothers were no longer in a hurry to retire, and there were more and more kindergartens, but until recently it was perceived as a necessary measure. As they say, not from a good life. If mom had the opportunity not to work, the question of the garden was not even raised. It goes without saying that before school she would take care of the children herself? Neither relatives nor acquaintances would simply understand her if she, without going to the service, “shoved” the child into the garden. Now, in this regard, there have been noticeable advances. More and more often families appear on my professional horizon that have every opportunity not to take their child to kindergarten. Or the wife is not at all eager to work even "for the soul", and the husband is quite capable of providing for the family. Either the grandmother is ready to devote herself to her grandson, or the parents have money for a nanny. But ... a child from three to four years old is still sent to kindergarten. And it would be okay if he enjoyed communication and group games there! But no! The kid does not like the kindergarten, whimpers in the morning, complains that he is offended, asks to stay at home at least a little. And the other goes without objection, but is often sick. And the third became nervous, irritable, aggressive. I'm not talking about hyperactive children, of whom, unfortunately, there are more and more. For them, kindergarten is an absolutely unbearable psychological load.

But when you start talking about it, you often come across an impenetrable wall. I first thought about the nature of such resistance a few years ago, when a young couple came to me for a consultation with a boy of four and a half. Styopa huddled up to his mother, hid his face in her lap, flatly refused to go without parents to the next room to look at toys.

Does he always act like this? I asked.

With strangers - yes. When he gets used to it, it will, of course, be more emotional, but actually he is squeezed. He does not like to go anywhere, you cannot even pull out for a walk. Children are afraid to tremble in the knees. There are fewer adults, but he is also afraid.

I was absolutely sure that it had not even occurred to the parents that this child should go to kindergarten. But I was wrong! Styopa went to the garden at the age of three. True, he was incessantly ill for half a year, when he went out “into the world,” then sat on a chair all day, not responding to calls to play with children. Now he no longer sits on a chair, but he is still shy of children.

They are too noisy for him, screaming, fighting, but he does not understand this, - said my mother. - But at least a hysteric, as before, does not roll up at parting - and that's good. Stepa was brought in with complaints of fatigue, distracted attention, tearfulness, whims and bedwetting (enuresis). Moreover, at two and a half years, before kindergarten, no enuresis was observed in the child. Then there were no problems with him at all: quiet, calm, flexible: a boy. I was afraid of strangers, but not at all like now. He even tried to play with the children, but now he does not want to hear about anyone.

The picture was very reminiscent of the trauma inflicted on the child by the early separation from the family. What, to tell the truth, it was quite possible to guess by ourselves, without consulting a specialist. But mom and dad didn't want to see the obvious.

Pick up from the garden ?! - Mom was horrified. - But ... Where is he then to learn to communicate? No, what are you! It's out of the question! At home, he runs completely wild.

Although it was in the kindergarten, and not at home, Styopa lost even those small communication skills that he managed to acquire before the age of three.

What about preparing for school? Dad said. - No, we are not able to teach a child everything that is now taught in kindergarten.

Although Styopa's attention was scattered just in the garden, with a nervous strain. And there were still two and a half years left before school - a huge time for a preschooler. And what are the kindergarten teachers teaching so special? Why people with higher education (technical and humanitarian) are unable to master this wisdom? And how until recently did grandmothers without any higher education quite successfully teach their preschool grandchildren to read and count? And some still teach ...

The parents did not find answers to these and other questions, but it was clear that they were not even going to look for them. The main issue was resolved long ago, finally and irrevocably. Styopa will go to the garden under any circumstances, because WITHOUT A GARDEN IT IS SIMPLY IMPOSSIBLE.

The case was so vivid, and parental resistance was so frankly irrational, that the thought about the subconscious mechanisms of this resistance suggested itself. At the level of consciousness, there was nothing to object. But the subconscious mind whispered the exact opposite to the Steppe parents, and his whisper turned out to be stronger. Why?

"Motherless moms"

About 30 years ago, an experiment was set up in America: the cubs were taken away from the monkeys, they were fed and they began to observe how they would raise their babies.

It turned out that “motherless mothers” (as scientists called monkeys raised in human care) do not know how to take care of their young and do not have any kindred feelings towards them, since in their childhood they did not have a model of maternal care before their eyes. They have completely different early images (imprints) imprinted in their memory. For the same reasons, many children in orphanages, growing up, experience serious difficulties in building a family. Today's young parents, of course, are not orphanages, and certainly not monkeys, but this is perhaps the first generation that massively attended kindergartens.

But we “went to the garden - and nothing, grew up!” - they reason, forgetting, as often happens, about their childhood grievances and grievances.

And it is difficult for them to imagine how they can do without kindergarten, because collective education for them is imprinting. And early impressions are very deeply rooted in the subconscious. We do not seem to remember them, we do not realize them, but they have not gone anywhere and, like gray cardinals, invisibly control our ideas and feelings.

The main thing is home peace and quiet

Meanwhile, experienced doctors and teachers say that a preschooler child most of all needs a mother's affection and a warm (primarily psychologically), cozy home, a calm, friendly atmosphere in the family. In such an environment, it blooms and develops normally.

In fact, smart people warned about this more than a hundred years ago, when kindergartens had just started to appear. “No matter how rational the activities and games of children are in them,” wrote the famous Russian teacher KD Ushinsky, they can have a harmful effect on a child if he spends most of the day in them. No matter how clever the occupation or the game that you learn in kindergarten, they are already bad because the child did not learn by itself, and the more intrusive the kindergarten in this regard, the more harmful they are.

Ushinsky warned that "even a noisy society of children, if a child is in it from morning to evening, should act harmful." "For a child," he continued, "absolutely solitary and independent attempts at child activity, not evoked by imitation of children or adults, are necessary."

Then they did not yet operate with the terms "psychological load" or "stress", but the danger itself was captured correctly. Now the same conclusions are being made on a scientific basis. A couple of years ago I happened to hear at a conference a speech by our largest pediatrician, Academician V.A.Tabolin. He spoke about the dangers of many experiments that were carried out in the XX century on young children, including ... about kindergartens. Yes, yes, what we have become so accustomed to that we can no longer imagine life without it is in fact an experiment with a relatively short history. Its essence was to remove children from the family and transfer them to the state for education. After all, the family, in the opinion of the ideologists of building a new society, would soon die out. But practice has shown that nothing can replace a child's mother. Although the consequences of the early separation of the child from the family can come back to haunt much later. For example, in adolescence. Here's a very typical story:

“Before school, Masha was very attached to me. Even too much. Now my heart squeezes when I remember how she asked: “Mom, let me not go to kindergarten today. Let's stay at home a little, I won't bother you. " But then I was not up to her. No, I, of course, loved my daughter very much, tried to dress her beautifully, bought toys and sweets. But work fascinated me much more. And in my personal life there were different experiences. Now Masha is sixteen. We live with her in the same room, but between us there is as if an invisible partition. And it's not about me anymore. I want to establish contact with her, but she does not let me into her world. She is used to living without me, and although I feel that my daughter is lonely and suffering because of this, we cannot restore the lost connection. Probably because this connection was lost so early, not yet having had time to properly form. "

But what about communication with children?

People who are not familiar with child psychology greatly exaggerate the need for preschoolers in the children's team. Children of three or four years old usually play, so to speak, side by side, but not together. And at the age of 5-6 they still do not have friends in the sense that we, adults, put into this concept. Friendship of kids is unstable, situational. Today one friend is on the playground, tomorrow another. Often they don't even bother to inquire about the name of a "friend" and "What is the name of the boy who came to visit us today?" - I repeatedly asked my eldest son (who, by the way, was then not five, but seven or eight years old!).

I don't remember ... Friend, - Philip shrugged his shoulders.

And the next day he brought home another boy, and did not even remember the previous one.

The need for real friendship appears closer to adolescence, and it is enough for a preschooler to periodically play with one of his peers, not even necessarily every day. He has not yet left the circle of the family. For him, so far in the family circle the most important relationships and the most important communication.

But now it often turns out the opposite. The preschooler is pulled out of the family and immersed in a children's team for the whole day. Although it is also difficult for an adult to be in a foreign company from morning till night. What can we say about a baby who is overworked faster, more easily overexcited ?! The more difficult it is for him to communicate with children and adults, the more carefully this communication should be measured. Otherwise, the child's behavior will worsen, and difficulties will grow like a snowball.

And how will it be at school?

This question is always asked. But in the school, in comparison with the kindergarten, conditions are much more sparing. Are you surprised? - Judge for yourself. To communicate normally, doing without conflicts, quarrels and fights, very many preschoolers and younger students still do not know how. But in kindergarten, kids spend almost the whole day, and in primary school - only a few hours. At the same time, they are constantly busy at school and are "in free flight" only during breaks. In kindergarten, on the other hand, purposeful activities do not last long. Most of the time is devoted to games and walks. And the teacher is physically unable to keep track of everyone, because the children in the group are 20-25 people. Someone will certainly begin to offend, tease. Others are also willing to "support the company." Therefore, it is very difficult for a sensitive, resentful child in the garden. And demanding from him that he remake himself is simply stupid. It would be much smarter not to put the child in such a difficult psychological situation. He will be able to get communication skills that will be useful to him at school by playing from time to time with the children of your friends or by visiting a studio a couple of times a week, since now there are a lot of them for kids in every city.

Who is the garden not contraindicated?

Of course, children are different. Some even need a garden. By the age of 5-6, active, proactive children often get bored at home. Especially if this is the only son or daughter, and in addition to the parents, there are also grandparents living in the apartment. The child wants more independence, the old framework becomes cramped for him, and his relatives are in no hurry to expand them. And how can the child's need for leadership be realized in such conditions? Who will he rule over? One of my little acquaintances, psychologically quite matured into a children's collective, but languishing at home, because my mother was afraid to send him to kindergarten, tyrannized her and her grandfather, like the most natural oriental despot. And at the same time he also "chased" the parrot (this is how his mother aptly described his training method, because when Sasha did not know what to do, he poked at the bird with a pencil, forcing her to rush at his command from one corner of the cage to another.) Such "leadership" Naturally, neither mother, nor grandfather, nor the parrot, nor Sasha himself were happy. When the boy was sent to kindergarten, his behavior returned to normal.

Adopted at will

But the most important criterion when deciding whether to place a child in kindergarten, in my opinion, should be his desire. (Provided, of course, that the circumstances allow this choice to be made.) Still, this is not yet "work", as adults often instill in a child. He will still have time to pull the strap in his life, let him enjoy his childhood at least a little.

And children who go to kindergarten with pleasure also meet. Although not as often as parents want to believe.

The kindergarten experience of my eldest son was extremely unfortunate. Chronic otitis media, resulting from constant colds, almost ended in deafness. Therefore, I was not going to send my daughter to the garden. But at the age of three she literally forced me to go to RONO for a referral, because every day she ached and asked "to the kids."

But I won't be in the kindergarten! - I scared Christina.

Nothing! she answered cheerfully.

You will have to sleep during the day, ”I warned menacingly. She agreed to this too, although she had forgotten about naps at home at the age of two.

In short, I gave up. When Christina did not cry for the first time when parting with me, the teacher decided that this was a common story: the child had not yet figured out the situation. But when a week later my daughter calmly let me go, not paying attention to the roar of other three-year-olds, I was told that my child is unique. But in fact, there was nothing unique about Christina. She just made her dream come true. And if I forced the garden on her, there would be a roar and illness. And so she never even had an acute respiratory disease!

New time - new dangers

But on the other hand, now I would think ten times before sending my daughter to kindergarten. After all, my Kristinka was a preschool girl in the mid-80s, when perestroika was just beginning, and the maximum that children could bring from the garden was some kind of swear words. Now, alas, morals have become so coarse that such incidents are considered in the order of things. How could it be otherwise? Kids always teach each other all sorts of "nonsense" ... Although this is not at all a fact! Earlier, many children were "educated" about obscene language much later. For example, having gone to kindergarten from the age of three, I recognized them only at the end of the third grade (that is, at the age of ten!). As I remember now, it happened at the dacha, and to most of my peers who were present, these expressions were also a novelty.

Why are there curses! Communicating with parents and teachers, I now often come across the fact that they are not shocked by the behavior of kindergarteners and many other things, which would make adults' hair stand on end earlier.

Children still see something else on TV, - they repeat, finding some strange consolation in these, in fact, monstrous words. And they give examples of children's games and entertainment today that I don't want to quote - they are so obscene. Perhaps the softest is the “bed episodes” in the traditional children's game “mothers and daughters”.

Such an environment is especially dangerous for demonstrative children who, like a sponge, absorb everything bad. Or for weak-willed kids who easily fall under the influence of others. And, of course, for babies with some developmental delay and at the same time a craving for risk - they are constantly drawn to "feats", and the "brakes" are weak, they are poorly aware of what is happening. In such children, the bad influence of the environment can lead to the early formation of a criminal personality type.

“How do we protect the family from destructive influences? - said, answering the questions of the journalist, the father of twelve children, priest Alexander Ilyashenko. - We never sent our children to kindergarten. At the same time, of course, you lose something, but you gain much more ... In a family, children of tender age can be saved from the corrupted spirit of this world, where the terrible atmosphere in which our people lives is absorbed with mother's milk. These people, of course, cannot be condemned - they simply do not see anything else, good. But we tried to protect our children in every possible way from the unnatural influence of the environment. They have a good social circle - among their friends are believers. We are one with them, and for them what is dear to us is just as dear, and what is unacceptable for us is unacceptable "(Crown crowns, crowns of gods. Family in the modern world. M., Danilovsky evangelist. 2000).

Gradually, more and more people begin to understand this. On the one hand, many Orthodox families prefer to do without kindergartens. On the other hand, Orthodox kindergartens are slowly emerging. In some places, parishioners unite, create home mini-groups and work together to raise children. And some agree to send the children to an ordinary garden, but in one group, so that they form their core there, which will no longer be particularly afraid of alien influences.

A couple of years ago, several children from such a "state within a state" went to our psychological puppet theater, and a typical scene took place in the classroom. During the break, I held a conversation with my parents about the dangers of aggressive cartoons and other "achievements" of Western mass culture. Parents of unchurched children (who made up half of the group) began to vying with each other to complain that they could not keep their children from being carried away by all sorts of "Pokemon", since children imitate their peers and do not want to listen to anything. The children were still nothing at all, about six years old, and the impression was created of complete doom, a vicious circle. It was unbearable to listen to this.

Then I asked the Orthodox half:

Tell me, do you have similar problems? Your children also attend kindergarten.

No, these mothers answered in unison. - To be honest, we did not even suspect that this issue could be so acute. In our garden, however, there are also guys who are fond of "Pokemon", but we explained to our children that this is bad. And since they have enough communication with each other, they play their games and the "Pokemon infection" does not stick to them.

Based on the book by T. Shishova "So that the child is not difficult"

There are so many conflicting opinions, beliefs, statements on this topic that it will take, perhaps, more than one day and, perhaps, more than one week to fully study them. Therefore, parents who are ready to take their child to the kindergarten and not to drive, but want to understand how they should do the right thing, need to spend a lot of time to fully study this issue.

If you deliberately decided that you will or, on the contrary, do not want to take your child to kindergarten, then we advise you to start immediately studying the corresponding arguments why you should or should not send your baby to a child care institution. In any case, you will find a lot of confirmation of the correctness of your decision, whatever it may be. Because in reality a kindergarten for a child can be both good and bad. And this is the most important thing that a loving mother should understand.

However, if you want to make the right decision so that it in no way could harm the baby, then you should still spend your time on a deeper study of this issue and on getting acquainted with different points of view on this matter.

After all, the times when children were handed over to the kindergarten without fail have long since sunk into oblivion. Today, a woman can stay with a child on maternity leave for at least 3 years - this is with regard to the legislative side of the coin. As for the sociological one, no one looks wryly at the mother who is "sitting at home." Women who are not working for many reasons (and especially young mothers) are completely normal and natural.

In short, today we have the right to decide for ourselves whether a child needs a kindergarten or not, and especially whether he needs it so much, as this opinion has taken root in society.

Kindergarten: to drive or not to drive

It seems that everyone around you agrees that extremes are not good, but when it comes to discussing some acute problem, it is almost impossible to stick to the golden mean. So it is with the kindergarten: it has many opponents and admirers, and there can be no middle ground here: you have to choose from two options - either not to drive, or to drive (and not for long).

Arguments "for" kindergarten

Oh, how many stories are circulating on the Internet about how differently mothers bring up their children! Some do not even bother to get up in the morning when the baby woke up, while others plunge headlong into caring for the child, sometimes for several days in a row without having a free minute at least to comb their hair.

But what is interesting: both of them may be right. And if you decide to send your child to kindergarten or are considering the option of raising him at home, at least until he reaches school age, then your decision in each individual case may also turn out to be correct or wrong.

To avoid mistakes, you need to think it over and analyze well. Let's start with the arguments “for” kindergarten, which are expressed by teachers, psychologists and ordinary parents:

The child must undergo "socialization". Even if he did not attend kindergarten, shortly before leaving for school, it is still recommended to take him to the kindergarten group at least for a short time - for several hours every day.
In every child, nature has a sense of the community: he wants to play with other children, be among his peers, do something with them, a team. And the kindergarten is perfect for this.
A kid in kindergarten will regularly play and communicate with other children, make new friends, learn and develop.
The living conditions of not all families allow the baby to play and frolic, go in for sports or creativity at home. And in kindergarten - this is an obligatory component of the regime.
A child's stay in kindergarten is a natural step towards the development of his independence, which is very, very difficult to teach at home. Children deftly manipulate adults and instantly learn how to eat and fall asleep on their own, as soon as a grandmother arrives from afar.
In the kindergarten, the baby is disciplined, but at home he allows himself not to obey. There are frequent cases when a baby in the garden "eats better and sleeps during the day - but you can't force it at home!"
The kindergarten has a strict regime - sleep, rest, meals. Even if you managed to establish your own regime at home, it is far from always possible to comply with it: either you stayed in the market, or you met your friend on a walk, or someone came to visit.
Many single (and not only) mothers have to go to work soon after giving birth to support themselves and their baby. And a kindergarten is the only way to "attach" a baby to working hours, because few manage to find a well-paid job at home.

The kindergarten must be comfortable for the child and in some way even resemble a family, where the teacher takes over the role of the mother: loving, understanding and always ready to help. Eh, so it would be in every garden ...

Arguments against kindergarten

Agree, many of the arguments for kindergarten can be found convincing and rational. But don't jump to conclusions. Perhaps the cons will be more convincing to you:

Socialization again. In the family, it goes more smoothly and harmoniously, and very often even more "right". After all, the family for the kid is his first society, which is firmly connected with the “big” society, and therefore the child observes how adults and other children behave and transfers these patterns of behavior to society.
The tradition of taking kids to the garden is a negative consequence of the once established system. Even if the mother can stay with the baby at home, even if he gets a lot of stress because of this, falling asleep and waking up with tears in his eyes, we still take him to the garden, because “everyone does this”, and it is also very convenient.
The regime offered in kindergarten almost always does not coincide with the biological rhythms of each individual child's body. At home, the baby has the opportunity to live according to his own regime, which is comfortable for him and does not harm him. The biological regime is always variable, that is, it allows small changes and amendments, since it depends on a whole variety of different factors (health, mood, weather, etc.).
With regard to independence, it just becomes at home, and in a natural way. Because the child does not obey the mandatory rules, which are very often not accepted and not understood by him. He has the right to decide when to wake up and go to bed, what to play and what to do, whether to go for a walk outside at this particular time, what he has and whether he has anything at all. Of course, if you let him. In the kindergarten, he is forced to obey, and not make decisions.
Separation of a 2-3-year-old baby from his parents is a huge stress for him, which has a negative impact on both mental and physical health. It is during this period that the crumb forms trust in the outside world. Weaning a baby from his mother is a big test for him. A child needs emotional security, mother's love, warmth and affection, especially in a new, unfamiliar environment for him. And since there are a lot of children in the group, the teacher cannot take on these functions in each individual case - you need to distribute your attention to everyone.
Some children get tired of a lot of people, noise, crowding. They want to be alone, rest, relax, do what they love, and not what is ordered. And this also traumatizes their psyche and hurts their physical health. It is not surprising that the baby starts to get sick all the time: the younger he is, the stronger the connection between his emotional sphere and the level of immunity.
The demand and compulsion to eat "by the clock" gives rise to problems with the gastrointestinal tract and the nervous system of a kindergarten child.
A kid who comes to a children's team always starts to get sick: some more often, some less often, but everyone goes through a certain adaptation period - children's immunity inevitably decreases for some period. Even “non-Sadik's” children are sick with viral and infectious diseases, and at this time the mother is obliged to be around and treat the child.
Faced with the behavior of other children that is unusual for him (impudence, brawliness, aggression, deception, etc.), a kindergarten child is not able to objectively assess the situation and behave intelligently, consciously. As a result, he either succumbs to a stronger one, getting used to this order of things and taking it for granted, or goes over to the side of the "bad" and adopts his bad demeanor.
The child must communicate with children of different ages in order to develop harmoniously and naturally. Among other things, it teaches us to evaluate the past and predict the future.
Until the age of seven, a child builds a family model in his mind. And since he stays in kindergarten all day, then perhaps he will understand what rules and laws operate in the team, but family values, traditions and relationships for him will remain unplowed virgin soil, which he will carry through his entire adult life and which will then become real an obstacle in building your own family.
Modern gardens adhere to a subordinate model of the relationship between adults and children. And therefore, growing up a little, not having learned to cooperate with adults, discuss issues on an equal footing and reach agreements, the child begins to rebel against "slavery" or closes in himself, knowingly accepting his "inferiority".
The child in the kindergarten is taught to "be like everyone else", to imitate each other, while it is very important to develop individuality in him, moreover, harmonious, self-sufficient, free. “Sadik's” children are rowed with the same brush and brought up in stereotypes. For the child, it becomes more important what others think, and not what he himself feels.
All children are different in temperament. What the choleric person has already done, the phlegmatic person is still planning, and in the garden the former are forced to wait, the latter endlessly rush ... From here emerge complexes, self-doubt, “loser syndrome”, inability to plan and properly manage their time and other consequences.
We cannot be one hundred percent sure of even the best teacher! And working with several dozen completely different, but the same age children is impossible without mental disorders and disorders in the end. What can we say about the fact that many go to education not by vocation ...
A child raised at home grows up to be kinder, more understanding, open, calm, balanced, confident and (surprisingly) more educated!

In general, all the advantages of home education can be summed up in one phrase: even the laziest and most angry mother is better for a child than a kind teacher.

What kind of mothers to be, it's up to us, not the children. Moreover: we give several years of life together with our own child to other people's aunts who do not need him at all. And one more thing: the harmony, usefulness, success of a child almost entirely depends on how much he is loved and accepted (as he is) in his own family.

Of course, this is not the whole list of the advantages and disadvantages of a child attending kindergarten. And, of course, you don't have to share all the points. But some conclusions can be drawn from them.

Kindergarten - for a child?

And now let's admit to ourselves honestly: can a child attending kindergarten remain warmly and dearly beloved by his parents and vice versa, not infringed in their attention and not deprived of a joint pastime? But can a child who is brought up at home develop harmoniously, grow up sociable and restrained, demonstrate independence and patience towards others, be disciplined, and so on?

Certainly! In the same way, a toddler staying at home may not receive parental attention and love, and a child attending a child care institution may remain spoiled and uncontrollable. Actually, this is enough for making a decision, but we want to note one more thing.

Mom is, of course, first and foremost a person. Mom has the right to personal happiness. And any mother will be happy if her child is happy. But often it is him that we forget to ask what HE wants.

For some mothers, happiness is also the right to personal space, to their own hobbies, to free time, career growth and just moments of loneliness, when she can devote her thoughts to herself or do nothing (not all mothers like baking gingerbread and embroidering napkins).

For others, this is an unappreciated sacrifice, the right to think and tell everyone around what a mother sacrifices for her child, what a high fee she pays and that she is giving up the opportunity to earn money in favor of caring for and developing a child! And, by the way, many psychologists consider such "perversions" to be certainly no less a manifestation of selfishness than the desire for their own life, free from cooking, cleaning and daily crafts of creative work.

But the main thing, in the end, is that everyone remains satisfied. If the baby suffers from attending kindergarten, and the mother with all her being strives to spend time with him as much and as long as possible, then why not? If a child happily goes to the garden and is looking forward to the end of the vacation or early recovery in order to go to her favorite kindergarten, and the mother enjoys communicating with other people, doing her favorite job, doing her hobbies, then why not?

Of course, it would be better if the preschool education system underwent some changes. After all, the rules in gardens for modern kids 2-3 years old are not very suitable. But a child of about five years old could feel more or less confident and comfortable in the kindergarten. But here's the problem: it is already unrealistic to arrange him in a garden at this age, because all the places in the group have been taken for a long time. Therefore, they have to choose (those who can afford to choose): either send the child to kindergarten at the age of about three years, or not give it at all ...

Find an algorithm for solving the equation "Does the child need a kindergarten?" But, of course, the interests of the child should always be above all else. And be happy!

Especially for - Larisa Nezabudkina