Incentives for children 5 years old. Golden rules of reward and punishment

Praise and encouragement the right components of any type of activity. It is precisely due to the correct incentives for children in kindergarten The children grow up independent and well-mannered, harmonious and self-improving. It is important to note not only bad behavior, but also to notice successes and victories, no matter how small they may be from an adult’s point of view.

Why encourage children

When a baby just begins his path to independence, for him any adult praise adds much more confidence in the correctness of your actions. He reinforces his understanding that this moment He does the right thing, which is exactly what adults expect from him. At the same time, the baby does not ask for help, but does everything on his own. Any kind word, which will be used appropriately, will add strength and desire to self-improvement of any of the guys.

The importance of promotions acquires a moral connotation and leaves its indelible imprint upon formation. We all strive to instill the best traits: caring, compassion, kindness, desire and ability to learn, a sense of proportion and justice, honesty and accuracy. Meaning incentives for children comes down to separating and recording in memory such positive moments in order to record this particular positive experience and make it a standard of behavior.

The main feature of encouraging children

As a rule, to the features promotions children in the garden There is one negative point. If the baby is praised for everything (especially for the process itself, but not the result), then in the end the baby will always wait for praise even in its absence. For example, you are making a craft for Mothers' Day, one child is trying, bringing the picture to perfection. The second one does it quickly, so much so that in the end all you can say is “bugger.” Both kids are proud of their crafts. But each of them has a different perception. Although the wait praise on the part of the teacher, after the lesson, and the mother, after presenting the craft, they expect the same thing. But on the one hand, you see that the baby is encouraged and is praised only for a good result (taking into account his age capabilities), while the second is praised for everything. In this case, the first one will say: “I tried! Look how beautiful it turned out!”, and the second, even if he understands that the craft is so-so, will answer: “Well, I made it myself!” He is clearly not going to remake and improve it.

Therefore, giving away encouraging children in the garden or at home during classes, don’t forget that you might just spoil him!

Ways to encourage children in kindergarten

It's one thing when you conduct classes at home and praise your child for his success. Another, when he is noticed in a team and celebrated by individuals incentives. As you understand, for some it is important to receive verbal recognition out loud, while others need something material, for example, a stamp for a job well done or a cheerful smiley sticker for a lesson. For each child your own way, but when working in the garden it is better to stick to a single type promotions. For example, the best drawing will be shown to the whole group, and it will be hung on the honor board for the whole day. For a child, this is a powerful argument to not only complete the process of creating a drawing, but also to do it perfectly!

All ways to encourage children in the garden can be divided into:

• Praise. The simplest, from one point of view, but the most effective and widespread method. Every kid wants to be the center of attention, sometimes they even dream of being praised in front of the whole group.
• Tactile. They are most often chosen by children junior groups. Since they are more dependent on a simple pat on the head or hugs. For them, tactile contact is more desirable, as it helps them overcome themselves even in the most difficult situations.
• The opportunity to receive something in return for what has been done. That is, the children ask to go for a walk in the garden, but they scattered toys all over the floor. The teacher can offer them as promotions an option in which they quickly put all the toys back in their places, and then go for a walk together. Children often agree to this way of encouragement because from the action to the result they receive, they see a real opportunity to do everything on their own and quickly.
• Allow him to do something unusual for him as a reward. Children in the garden you can offer to walk a little longer or spend additional classes for drawing or sculpting. That is, when they fulfilled the teacher’s conditions, they received additional time for their pleasures. Although usually the schedule does not imply this.
• Provide more trust. For example, in the kindergarten, for this purpose, senior groups select a dining room attendant, who is responsible for laying out spoons before meals and making sure that each child eats everything. The opportunity to be a teacher for a child is a great honor and praise.
• Material incentives. They must be treated with caution so as not to go too far and force child expect from you encouragement. In this case in the garden This is difficult to do, although possible. Whoever ate lunch gets 2 servings of fruit or casserole for the afternoon snack. For some this will be something ordinary, but some guys like this incentive.

Ideas for encouraging children in kindergarten

Since most often at kindergarten behavior children is just being formed, and they get used to the norms and requirements of the teacher, then its distinguishing feature can be recognition in front of the whole group and in the evening in front of the parent who picks up the child from kindergarten, good behavior or assistance to teachers. To do this, you can create a treasure box. Put in it all those little things (you can coordinate this point with the parent committee) that are so interesting to the children. It can be simple toys, stickers, sweets, flashlights and stamps. The idea is that every child tries and stretches to incentives. Everyone had the opportunity to receive a desired surprise from a treasure box. Therefore, you can approve nominations, for example, “most diligent behavior”, “ kind heart", "golden hands", "hardworking assistant of the week" and so on. In each team, you may need to supplement these nominations in your own way.

Further, when a child reaches a certain number of marks in a week, at the end of the week he receives a prize from the box, which is awarded to each child in front of the whole team! It is imperative to note this fact in front of your mother - give her a postcard indicating the achievements of the week or a medal already with her. The baby will be proud of his successes, try to grow and...

Results

As you know, encouragement not such an easy option to note from your child tendency towards one thing. This is an opportunity that contains a lot of unexpected and insidious things. Incorrect encouragement can lead to child. Correct and done on time praise can support the baby at the right time. Here, like in the circus, the main thing is to learn to keep your balance, and when you juggle, don’t forget to seize the right moment! Good luck to you in this difficult and contradictory art of parenting!

Photo: free Internet sources

Texts of letters

for graduates primary school

Everyone knows how hard it is to pick the right words for your students, to note the merits of each, to praise or encourage, to instill confidence in a successful future. I offer several options for the text of certificates in verse for rewarding students at the end school year and for on the holiday"Goodbye elementary school." Texts of gratitude to parents for raising children and active participation in the life of the class and school. Poems for awarding several children in different categories and wording for specific children, perhaps they will help you make your holiday, line-up more unusual and memorable.

Poetic texts of letters

Awardedin the “Golden Pen” nomination…..

…………………………………………………….

For achievements in the humanities

This is the happiness of an intellectual -

Learn, think and search!

So that life becomes even fuller,

History is good to know

Language of the people and culture,

And the basics of philosophy!

For your success in difficult sciences

Let us present you with a certificate!

Awardedin the category “Young Pythagoras”…..

………………………………………………………….

For success in the exact sciences

Sometimes it's hard to get through

Through the jungle of formulas, equations,

But the more difficult it is to understand,

The brighter the joy of achievement!

Who believes that anything is possible

He is brave, decisive, desperate!

For your success in complex science

We are presenting a certificate today!

Awardedin the category “Young Biologist”…..

…………………………………………………….

For achievements in natural sciences

How interesting it is to be in the center of events,

When you rush through thorns to the stars of knowledge!

So many discoveries have already been made,

And how much is ahead - you will be amazed!

But it’s impossible to modestly hide victory,

After all, we celebrate all achievements,

We wish to further develop

And we solemnly present the certificate!

Awardedin the “Sports Star” category…..

………………………………………………………….

For sporting achievements

In everyday life we ​​are different

An athlete with perseverance and patience,

After all, in sports the will is strengthened

And aspirations are strengthened!

Let life be bright and active

And all the peaks are conquered!

For sports achievements

A certificate is awarded from the school!

Awardedin the category “Young Picasso”.....

………………………………………………………….

Behind creative success

For work and determination,

Passion for what you love,

Craving for art, mastery,

Your creations are magic

Flight of brilliant fantasy

And for your real talent,

Which you make everyone happy!

Your reward for success!

Awardedin the category “Strong friendship will not break”.....

………………………………………………………….

For the ability to be friends

For sensitivity and kindness,

Responsiveness and humanity

Ability to live in a team

To truly be friends

Help your friends when they are having a hard time

And be a reliable comrade,

And loyalty to friendship with early years!

Awardedin the category “Exemplary Children”.....

………………………………………………………….

For exemplary behavior

It’s more fun, it’s more wonderful to live,

If everyone is an example:

If you don't be naughty,

Maintain discipline!

Let him please now

This certificate is from us!

Wishes for inspiration,

Happiness, joy, luck!

AWARDED

behindexcellent studies , participation

for the ability to make friends

and active assistance to the teacher.

behindexcellent studies , participation in classes and school events,

for your kindness and understanding,

You are one of the first with us.

behindexcellent studies , participation

in classroom and school events,

for all your efforts

they helped you with your studies,

for the most difficult tasks,

behindexcellent studies , participation

in classroom and school events,

for curiosity, attention,

behindexcellent studies,

for the kindness of soul and mind,

for always making it through

behindgood studies

on difficult tests

and in difficult home situations,

for the intelligent look of inquisitive eyes,

the beginning of a resounding success.

behinddesire to learn better,

for your inquisitive mind and kindness,

behinddesire to learn better

for the intelligent look of inquisitive eyes,

for becoming fifth grade

behinddesire to learn better

for the kindness of soul and readiness

behinddesire to learn better

and the ability to overcome difficulties,

for the intelligent look of inquisitive eyes,

for becoming fifth grade

the beginning of a resounding success.

behinddesire to learn better

for the kindness of soul and readiness

for the intelligent look of inquisitive eyes,

for the sound of joyful laughter,

for becoming fifth grade

the beginning of a resounding success.

behinddesire to learn better

and the ability not to lose heart in a difficult situation,

for the kindness of soul and readiness

come to the rescue at any moment.

behindactive work in class ,

you read, write and count,

and that patience and labor

they will lead you to victory.

behindActive participation in the life of the class,

excellent duty,

for the desire to learn better

and the ability not to lose heart in a difficult situation,

for the kindness of soul and readiness

come to the rescue at any moment.

behindactive participation in class life ,

for neatness, neatness,

for the thirst for knowledge and work,

because of difficulties in studying

They only give you strength.

for participation in class and school events,

for overcoming difficulties

on difficult tests

and in difficult home situations,

for neat notebooks,

Thanks to parents for good upbringing son

You can be proud of your son!

Our heartfelt gratitude to you!

After all, you helped him become this way,

How we know and love him now!

And in every brilliant success of his

And a lot of your work too!

He can achieve anything in life

Having such support always!

Gratitude to parents for raising their daughter well

You raised a wonderful daughter!

You have a reason to be proud!

You set a great example

So that your daughter can look up to you!

How much effort and love you put into it!

Parental work is invaluable!

You were her support!

We thank you for this!

Letter of thanks parents for active participation in the life of the class and school

Known: outside the educational process

There is a lot of interest in the life of the class,

And, in order to give as much to the children as possible,

The school needs help!

You set a wonderful example for everyone,

By actively participating in classroom life.

For this we thank you from the bottom of our hearts

And we want to reward you with a certificate!

Thank you letter to parents

I express my gratitude and say a huge human “THANK YOU” for your participation in the upbringing of your child and the life of the school. A person’s success, of course, is the merit of his closest people with seemingly imperceptible daily efforts, work, patience and responsibility. I thank you for creativity and an active life position.
With all my heart I wish you good health, happiness and prosperity! I express the hope that your creative activities for the benefit of our school will continue in the future!!!

Letter of thanks from the director to parents

Dear...

I sincerely thank you and express my deep gratitude for the upbringing of (full name), who has shown himself to be a student capable of thinking deeply, overcoming difficulties, showing excellent results, defeating worthy opponents. Your child’s victories are our common joy.
Thanks to your support and understanding, we will be able to continue to educate young people full of strength and aspirations for knowledge and creativity.
I wish you all the best, optimism, health, prosperity and more human warmth.
I will be glad (glad) to develop our cooperation and mutual understanding!

Thank you letter to student
Dear…..
Thank you for your conscientious attitude towards the educational (educational, creative) process.
I wish you to remain a leader in the area where you succeed, never tired of learning new things, overcoming unprecedented difficulties and obstacles, defeating worthy rivals, the strongest competitors.
Believe that our teaching staff will continue to be a necessary support for you in achieving and conquering new heights.
I hope that you will continue to improve your abilities so that everyone can truly enjoy your success.
I sincerely wish you health, prosperity and new achievements for the benefit of your family, our school and the entire Fatherland!

Thank you letter to teacher

Please accept my sincere gratitude for your success in the field of school education, for your high professionalism and competence, dedication and hard work!
Your inherent efficiency, focus on achieving the final result, ability to make decisions, communication skills, goodwill, patience, and willingness to answer any questions from your students are admirable.
I hope that your many years of experience and the unquenchable fire of sincere devotion to your work will serve the further development of the spiritual and intellectual level of the younger generation. May the kindness and wisdom in the teacher’s heart never dry up!
I wish you good health and prosperity, patience and optimism, success in your difficult but important work!!!

A joyful school year has ended,
It brought a whole body of discoveries and knowledge.
A's, B's, prizes and awards,
Clubs and fun Olympics!

For your talent and creativity
You get a reward!
Let everything be as you want
And just the way you dream!

For active participation in class life

Do you know how to lead others?
You captivate everyone with bright ideas,
And life is more interesting in class with you,
You are always active and help with everything!
It’s easy to achieve every goal,
We wish you good luck in all your endeavors,
Be the center of attention and win!
We deserve this award!

For active participation in the life of the school

The world stands on activists!
And the school here is no exception.
And the fact that our life is in full swing -
Your merit, without a doubt!
Let optimism never run out
And inspiration flows like a fountain!
We present you with a certificate
For endless movement!

To the student

for excellent studies, participation

in classroom and school events,

for kindness, attention to people,

for the ability to make friends

and active assistance to the teacher.

for excellent studies, participation

in classroom and school events,

for curiosity, attention,

for your kindness and understanding,

for the intelligent look of inquisitive eyes,

You are one of the first with us.

for excellent studies, participation

in classroom and school events,

for all your efforts

they helped you with your studies,

for the most difficult tasks,

what you decide on your way.

for excellent studies, participation

in classroom and school events,

for curiosity, attention,

and perseverance in achieving goals.

for excellent studies,

for the kindness of soul and mind,

for courage in mastering knowledge,

for always making it through

with any of the difficult tests.

for good studies

(for the desire to learn better)

and the ability to overcome difficulties

on scary tests

and in difficult home situations,

for the intelligent look of inquisitive eyes,

for the sound of joyful laughter,

for becoming fifth grade

the beginning of a resounding success.

for the desire to learn better,

for your inquisitive mind and kindness,

for being in a fight with oneself

learned to find the right solution

and manage your behavior.

for the desire to learn better

and the ability to overcome difficulties,

for the intelligent look of inquisitive eyes,

for courage in making decisions,

for becoming fifth grade

a stepping stone to new achievements.

for the desire to learn better

and the ability not to lose heart in a difficult situation,

for the kindness of soul and readiness

come to the rescue at any moment.

for the desire to learn better

and the ability to overcome difficulties,

for the intelligent look of inquisitive eyes,

for modesty and exemplary behavior,

for becoming fifth grade

the beginning of a resounding success.

for the desire to learn better,

for the kindness of soul and readiness

come to the rescue in difficult times,

for the intelligent look of inquisitive eyes,

for the sound of joyful laughter,

for becoming fifth grade

the beginning of a resounding success.

for the desire to learn better

and the ability to overcome difficulties

on scary tests

and in difficult home situations,

for the intelligent look of inquisitive eyes,

for the sound of joyful laughter,

for becoming fifth grade

the beginning of a resounding success.

for the desire to learn better

and the ability not to lose heart in a difficult situation,

for the kindness of soul and readiness

come to the rescue at any moment.

for active work in class,

for an inquisitive mind and ability to make friends,

because you know almost everything,

you read, write and count,

and that patience and labor

they will lead you to victory.

excellent duty,

for the desire to learn better

and the ability not to lose heart in a difficult situation,

for the kindness of soul and readiness

come to the rescue at any moment.

for active participation in class life,

for neatness, neatness,

for the thirst for knowledge and work,

because of difficulties in studying

They only give you strength.

for taking part

in classroom and school events,

for overcoming difficulties

on scary tests

and in difficult home situations,

for neat notebooks,

diligence and perseverance in achieving the goal.

for taking part

in classroom and school events,

for all your efforts

brought you to success

for intelligence, activity, good knowledge

and for the ability to make friends.

for modesty, hard work, diligence,

for the thirst for knowledge and work,

because of difficulties in studying

They only give you strength.

Parents should know when to encourage their child so that he does not grow up to be a spoiled egoist. The correct methods of education allow you to get truly worthy results, so they need to be studied and put into practice.

Can incentives hurt?

Their beloved child behaves well and is not capricious - parents are delighted with their obedient son or daughter. Mom buys ice cream for the baby, dad takes him to the circus, thinking about how lucky it is that they have a positive child growing up. But in everything it is important to know when to stop, the reward can be detrimental:

Praise often makes a child seek approval from adults. Children stop enjoying the fact that they learn something new, they stop enjoying creative process, their main goal becomes to impress others.

The kid who constantly hears his grandparents exclaiming: “Well done! You are the best!" often grows up to be a real egoist.

Children should not be bribed for “good” behavior, wanting an easy reward; little boys and girls quickly understand what role they should play, and as a result, they are easily manipulated by their parents. Kids seem ideal, they are obedient and modest, but in fact, this is only superficial.

Children behave the way the adults they want to impress are expected of them. good impression. It is important to know the specifics of encouraging a child so that honesty does not suffer.

Never belittle the dignity of other children by saying: “Your craft is better than Masha’s.” Let the child compete, but not with his peers, but with himself, then he will improve his results every time.

How to properly encourage children?

In order to raise their beloved child to be a worthy citizen, parents must have an accurate idea of ​​what the child is entitled to praise for. You can present encouragement in the form of a long-awaited reward that needs to be earned.

There are simple rules for praising a child:

Praise not the baby, but the actions he has performed

Excessive praise can only do harm, the child develops inflated self-esteem, and quickly enough the beloved offspring will develop a high self-esteem. For example, your son or daughter cleaned the nursery, don’t rush with personal praise: “Well done! Good girl!

It is better to say: “Now the room is completely cleaned, it is clean, and it is pleasant to be in it.” The child will be able to appreciate your praise and will try to earn it again.

Tips for properly encouraging a child will help you avoid making personality assessments without hurting your child’s feelings. When your daughter brings you her next drawing, show your sincere interest in creative work, note the moments you especially liked in the drawing: “What a beautiful tree you turned out, it looks like a living one, you drew every leaf, and there are funny bunnies nearby.”

If you want to praise, choose your words carefully: it is important that the child can draw conclusions independently about his own skills. When a son helps his father carry a box to the gate, there is no need to claim that he is the strongest. Just tell your son that a heavy box is not easy to lift, and the boy will understand for himself that he is strong and his parents need his help.

Point out to your child the feelings he himself experiences when he achieves the desired result.

You should not just praise your child when he has done a job well; it is better to draw the child’s attention to his pleasure in the process of doing it. Little girls and boys are naturally interested in creative activities; any achievement for them is a new victory that delights them.

Admiration and joy make a child strive to achieve his goal and help build children’s perseverance.

You can't praise your child for ordinary things.

The benefits of encouraging children will be undeniable if you are not surprised every time you notice social skills in children. It is necessary for the child to understand that he can perform actions without praise.

Avoid cash incentives

If children are given money for washing the dishes or taking out the trash, then they focus exclusively on the external result. The child does not try to wash the dishes properly; he can throw a bag of garbage around the corner of the house; the main thing for him is to complete the process in order to receive the promised amount of money from his parents.

Mom and dad should pay the child’s attention to his own feelings, the baby should like the process itself, it is necessary that he experience joy from gaining new knowledge and happiness from the fact that he can help his parents.

The main forms of encouragement are based on trust; adults should not be afraid that something might not work out for their beloved child. Support your beloved child in his creative endeavors that are not dangerous to the baby’s health.

Photos of encouraging children

The parents of each child, wanting to raise him to be obedient, resort to various methods: explanations, punishments, persuasion and, of course, rewards. But in order to achieve truly worthy results, you need to know how to reward your baby correctly. Is it possible to overpraise children? Should money be used as an incentive? How and for what actions should you praise your child?

We buy children ice cream if they are obedient, chocolate if they are quiet, sometimes we even give money if they bring good grades from school. We call them " good boy" or " good girl”, if they do what makes us happy. For modern and demanding parents, disciplinary methods are already relics of the past. Why use a stick when you have a carrot at hand? Meanwhile, rewards and praise are fraught with many cunning and sometimes insidious aspects.

When rewards can harm a child

To ensure that praise and rewards stimulate your child's development, make sure they do not harm your relationship with him.

1. Awards make children seek approval. Instead of enjoying the process of creating or gaining knowledge, they try to impress other people. Listening to the exclamations of his adoring grandmothers: “Good girl! Most smart child in the world!" – the child runs the risk of becoming selfish.
2. When children are bribed with rewards for “good” behavior, they soon learn how to manipulate their parents into playing the role that is expected of them. They become obedient superficially to flatter or impress adults. Honesty suffers in this case.
3. When praising, do not belittle the dignity of another child: “Your drawing is a thousand times better than Dima’s.” If the baby competes, then let him do it only with himself, improving his results each time.

Rules for encouraging children

If you want to achieve truly worthy results in raising your baby, you should know how to properly encourage him.

• Praise not the child himself, but his actions

After excessive praise, a child may develop high self-esteem. If you want to praise him for putting away his toys, don’t rush to say: “What a great guy you are!” Better say: “The room became clean after you cleaned it. It’s so nice to come here now.” Rest assured, he will properly appreciate your words and will try to earn them again.

If your daughter brought you beautiful drawing, do not say rashly: “You are a real artist and you draw better than anyone!” The girl may be upset if the next drawing does not receive such a high rating or is not so successful. Draw her attention to those moments that you especially liked: “What a beautiful tree you drew. It's just like alive. And how many funny bunnies there will be next to him!” This way you not only show genuine interest in the child’s creative abilities, but also avoid judging his personality.

Compose your praise in such a way that the child himself can draw a conclusion about his skills. If your son helped move a heavy box, instead of saying “how strong you are,” you can talk about how difficult it was to lift it. The child will independently conclude: he is strong, mom and dad need him.

• Point out to your child his own feelings when achieving a result.

Instead of praising your child or rewarding him for his work, teach him to focus on the pleasure he received from the process of doing it. Children are born with a natural interest in creativity and activity, and every new achievement fills them with admiration and joy. It is these emotions that fuel children's perseverance and desire to achieve their goals. When you see that your child has learned to ride an “iron horse,” support him: “I see you liked the fact that you now ride a bike yourself” or “I’m glad you did it. You look very pleased with yourself!” Well, to consolidate your skills, you can organize a bike ride in the park. By the way,

Note to moms!

Hello girls) I didn’t think that the problem of stretch marks would affect me too, and I’ll also write about it))) But there’s nowhere to go, so I’m writing here: How did I get rid of stretch marks after childbirth? I will be very glad if my method helps you too...

• Don't praise children for natural things

Psychologists and teachers do not recommend considering sociality small child something unusual. If your child has done something useful, for example, dressed himself or cleaned up the dishes, do not express surprise at his social skills with exclamations of admiration. Phrases of praise: “You are so smart!”, “Wow, you were able to wash the dishes!” - make the child doubt that you believe in his strength. He must understand that he himself is capable of many actions, without additional and often inappropriate praise.

• Don't reward with money

Children who receive money for washing dishes or taking out trash are often focused only on external results. The dishes may not be washed properly, a bag of garbage may be thrown out next to the house - the main thing is that the parents must give them the agreed amount. It is much more important that the child feels pleasure from the process: happiness from helping parents, joy from new knowledge.

If you want your older preschooler to learn how to manage money, you shouldn’t pay for creative activity or help around the house. When he becomes a schoolchild, you will be able to give him pocket money for daily expenses.

What can you use for incentives instead of money?

If you like the reward system itself for correct behavior, but you don’t want your child to “earn” money, try to choose any analogue that is convenient for you. These could be buttons, bright beads or coffee beans. Then you need to develop a system with your child, according to which, for example, cleaning the room will “cost” two coffee beans. And be sure to get him a special jar in which he will hide his treasures.

Remember that the incentive must be reasonable. The kid must be able to earn something big in a week, otherwise he will have no incentive to move on. Joint attendance may be an incentive. children's center, going to the circus or cinema.

And yet, this method has many opponents who believe that in this way the child can grow up spoiled and will obey his parents only when he receives a reward.

When choosing a form of encouragement for a child, always take into account his individuality. Praise and rewards must be used extremely carefully, as their excessive use can turn into a direct responsibility of adults. Try to make sure that your good intentions do not become the reason your baby is spoiled.

This question worries many parents who do not want to raise selfish people and extortionists. But the trouble is that children “just like that” don’t listen to them.

Let's try to figure it out

Let's ask: when does a person need positive reinforcement? For example, do you want a prize for brushing your teeth? No? And why?

You will say: “Because we understand: it is necessary to brush your teeth, otherwise there will be caries.”

Yes, but as children we were not so conscious. Some people must have shied away from brushing their teeth. With age, the level of consciousness increases, but not for everyone and not in everything. How many are ready to “just like that” participate in cleanup work, in the work of school parent committees, and in the activities of public organizations? As experience shows, there are few such people.

This means that positive reinforcement of any action is necessary, firstly, in the absence of higher motivation (and in the child it has not yet been formed due to age.) And secondly, when something is difficult, and there is no desire to overcome difficulties.

Surrogates save

“What if the child asks for a reward for every sneeze?” - adults are worried.

Suffering from jealousy, feeling irritated or distant from their parents, children subconsciously try to console themselves with surrogates: treats, gifts...

Arises vicious circle: the child behaves in such a way that there is no reason to reward him, but without rewards his behavior will not improve. If the child's neuroticism decreases, the need for surrogates will also decrease.

In addition, incentives do not have to be financial. A joint game, an extra bedtime story, permission to stay up a little longer or invite a friend over - all this can serve as a reward. If trading starts, it is easy to stop it. Say: “Okay, but then you will give me prizes in the form of toys for everything I do for you. Let's start right now. You were going to have breakfast, weren’t you?” It has a sobering effect.

Comparisons are not appropriate

“Why weren’t we encouraged, but we still tried?” - adults are indignant. And then they themselves answer their own question: “You rush around with them like a sack, and it’s all to no avail...”

Of course, many problems with today's children arise from simple spoiling. Although twenty, forty, and a hundred years ago, people still couldn’t do without incentives. It’s just that an unspoiled child needs less to feel happy.

Of course, we need to teach children selflessness, teach true love, which gives itself without demanding anything in return. But, as in any education, the teacher must master the subject much better than the students and be methodologically competent. Even if he has a Doctor of Science, if he starts teaching first-graders like university students, don’t expect much help.

Why is it that when it comes to teaching mathematics, we understand these simple truths, but when it comes to education, we forget? Encouragements and praise for children are an analogue of visual aids, without which studying at school is unthinkable. We are not saying that children should learn “the same way,” since adults learn without pictures!

Incentive for the “difficult”

I advise you to take into account one more thing: there are noticeably more nervous children compared to previous generations. A disorder mental health almost always affects behavior. It is the observance of certain behavioral norms that often represents the main difficulty for “problem” children.

And if we want to teach them these norms, then we must act in the same way as smart teachers act when dealing with students who, to put it mildly, do not shine with ability. On the one hand, they make their task easier, and on the other, they try to interest them, encourage them, stimulate them.

“How to encourage? - parents often ask. - He doesn't need anything. If you deprive the cartoon, the answer is: “Well, okay!”

I can do without sweets and ice cream. The other day they didn’t take him to the circus. At first I was upset, but now I don’t even remember.”

But willful and demonstrative children who are characterized by such behavior are not at all dispassionate ascetics. On the contrary, they are highly competitive. This means that they usually have more needs than their peers. It's just not what parents are appealing to.

For demonstrative children, the main incentive is communication and public recognition of their merits. You need to reinforce the good behavior of a demonstrative child with joint games, walks, affection, conversations, and praise.

Take a closer look at the children: what they love, value, and ask for. Many adults rush to give the child the maximum, without even waiting for his requests.

And then they are perplexed: they did so much to him, but he became even more unruly. But if you feed a person who hasn’t had time to get hungry, it won’t do any good.

I’m not good at raising children, I don’t have any yet. But I think the child should be encouraged and not deceive his expectations. I remember as a girl I dreamed of a dog. Mom said: if you finish first, second or third grade with excellent marks, then I’ll buy you a puppy. But I didn’t wait for him. Having been offended, she became a good girl. Now I’m thinking, what would have happened if my mother had encouraged me, as she promised? What if, not just anyone, but I would become the founder of Microsoft...