Parent-teacher meeting

"Children's Aggression"

Primary school teacher, MOU "Secondary School No. 8", g.o. Saransk Klyomina Tatyana Semyonovna

Meeting goals:

1 . Discuss with parents the causes of child aggression, its impact on the child's behavior.

2. To form in parents a culture of understanding the problem of child aggression and ways to overcome it.

Members: class teacher, parents of children in the class, school psychologist.

Organization of a parent meeting:

preparation of invitations for parents;

questioning;

meeting scenario development;

preparation of a memo for parents;

2 slide Man has the ability to love

and if he cannot find a use for his

ability to love, he is able to hate,

showing aggression and cruelty. By this means

he is guided as an escape from his own

heartache....

Erich Fromm

Dear moms and dads. The topic of our new meeting is serious and difficult. This is the theme of the manifestation of cruelty and aggression by our children.

The age of manifestation of aggression is clearly younger. Aggression is shown not only by teenagers and adults, but also by kids. What is it connected with?

How to deal with the manifestation of child aggression? And how we adults can help children overcome it. We will try to answer these and other questions.

Slide

Aggression is behavior that causes harm to an object or objects, a person or a group of people.

4 slide

Aggression can be physical (use of physical force against another person or object, fights), verbal (violation of the rights of another person without physical intervention, quarrel, screaming, squealing), and auto-aggression (self-accusation, self-humiliation, self-injury)

In psychology, there are two types of aggression: instrumental and hostile.

Instrumental aggression - manifested by a person to achieve a specific goal. It is very often expressed in young children (I want to take away a toy, object). in our children, hostile aggression is more manifested, aimed at hurting a person.

Very often aggression is confused with perseverance, assertiveness.

The level of aggressiveness of children varies depending on the situation to a greater or lesser extent, but sometimes aggressiveness takes stable forms. There are many reasons for such behavior: the position of the child in the team, the attitude of peers towards him, relationships with teachers.

The persistent aggressiveness of some children is manifested in the fact that they sometimes understand the behavior of others differently than others, interpreting it as hostile.

Slide

A common cause of child aggression is the family situation.

Aggressive behavior of family members in everyday life situations: screaming, swearing, rudeness, humiliation of each other, mutual reproaches and insults. Psychologists believe that a child shows aggression in everyday life several times more often where he saw the aggression of adults every day, and it has become the norm of his life.

Inconsistency of parents in teaching children the rules and norms of behavior. This method of raising children is bad because the moral core of behavior is not formed in children: today it is convenient for parents to say one thing, and they impose this line of behavior on children, tomorrow it is convenient for them to say something else, which is again imposed on children.

This leads to confusion, anger, aggression against parents and other people.

6 slide

In education, two pairs of important features can be distinguished that positively or negatively affect the formation of children's aggressiveness: disposition and rejection.

What characterizes and how it affects the overcoming of aggressiveness location? The family helps the child:

overcome difficulties

uses in its arsenal the ability to listen to a child

includes warmth, a kind word, an affectionate look in communication.

Rejection on the contrary, it stimulates children's aggression. It is characterized by indifference, withdrawal from communication, intolerance and dominance, hostility to the fact of the child's existence. Rejection of the child leads to the manifestation of such a disease as children's hospitalism. What it is? Loneliness, lack of desire to communicate with relatives, lack of traditions, customs, laws in the family.

7 slide

One of the main conditions for preventing aggressive behavior of children is the exactingness of parents in relation to themselves and in relation to their own child. A parent who is demanding of himself will never allow to demand from his child that which he himself does not have in his child. A demanding parent is able to analyze the methods of his upbringing and adjust them taking into account the current situation.

Very often, children's aggressiveness is connected precisely with the fact that parents show unreasonable and meaningless demands, while showing absolutely no friendliness and support. You should not give in to whims and make indulgences unnecessarily.

Demanding in relation to the child must be reasonable.

Demandingness is justified when feasible tasks are put forward before the child and all possible assistance is provided in solving them, otherwise it is simply meaningless. Even the most just and uncomplicated demand, if it is not explained and expressed in a despotic form, will arouse the resistance of any child, even the most accommodating one.

The only difference is that an accommodating child will express his protest in a hidden way, and a child who is not very accommodating will express it openly. Requirements for younger students are best expressed in a fun way.

In their methods of upbringing, in presenting exactingness to the child, parents must be consistent and united. As soon as secrets from each other settle in the family, the trust of parents in each other in raising a child goes away, this will enable the child to maneuver between parents, blackmail them, lie to them.

If this succeeds for a long time, and then a ban is imposed, then, as a rule, the result is a manifestation of aggressiveness on the part of the child.

8 slide

In recent years, psychologists have considered separately such a cause of child aggression as the media. The child begins to be influenced by television programs, movies, detective stories filled with various manifestations of aggression. For all school years, children spend almost 15,000 hours watching TV. During this time, they see an average of about 13 thousand cases of violent death. Psychologists have found that children who have seen many acts of violence on TV are more prone to aggressive actions than children who have not seen them. Computer games also contribute to this. By committing virtual acts of violence in them, the child ceases to see the line between play and reality. In preparation for the parent-teacher meeting, we conducted a study of children's attitudes to television programs. I invite you to take a look at the results.

conclusion

The concept of "aggressiveness" is perceived by us as something out of the ordinary. In fact, it is, first of all, a common phenomenon of relationships between people, an integral part of these relationships.

If a child does not take root in a class, a team, behaves badly, does not obey the norms, or is somehow different from others, then, of course, he has his own reasons for this. And this does not mean that we are dealing with a neurotic or some other pathological symptom.

One and the same child can get along well in one group and not at all take root in another. Or this year he may feel good in the team, but not the next, because five old comrades have left the class and new children have come to replace them. But this does not mean that this child suddenly became neurotic. Only the situation has changed. Perhaps an aggressive child is experiencing serious problems at home.

Our meeting is coming to an end. I really want it to be useful for you, made you think.

9 slide

Here are some tips:

Learn to listen to your children.

Try to do so that only you, the parents, relieve their emotional stress.

Do not forbid children to express negative emotions.

Learn to accept and love them for who they are.

(Reminders for parents)

Dear dads and moms!

Please read this note carefully! Mentally cross out those points that do not concern the educational system of your family, imagine the face of your child, be honest with him and with yourself! After the analysis, think about what else can be changed. Before it's too late!

Aggressiveness of the child is manifested if,

the child is beaten;

the child is being bullied;

they play a cruel joke on a child;

the child is made to feel a sense of undeserved shame;

parents knowingly lie;

parents drink and fight;

parents raise a child with double morals;

parents do not know how to love their children equally;

parents do not trust the child;

parents set the child against each other;

parents do not communicate with their child;

the entrance to the house is closed to the child's friends;

parents show petty guardianship and care to the child;

parents live their lives, the child feels that he is not loved.

Reminders for parents

"GOLD"

parenting rules

Learn to listen and hear your child.

Try to make sure that only you relieve his emotional stress.

Do not forbid children to express negative emotions.

Learn to accept and love him for who he is.

Obedience, obedience and diligence will be where they are presented reasonably.

The aggression of the family leads to aggressive manifestations in the behavior of the child.

How to prevent child aggression

1. Do not give your child unfulfilled promises, do not instill unrealizable hopes in his soul.

3. Do not put any conditions on the child.

4. Be tactful in the manifestation of measures to influence the child.

5. Don't punish your child for what you allow yourself to do.

6. Do not change your requirements in relation to the child for the sake of something.

7. Don't blackmail your child with your relationship with each other.

9. Do not make your relationship with your own child dependent on his academic success.

VII. Meeting decision.

Observe the emotional state of your child in different settings.

Set up positive emotions.

Follow the rules of the family to overcome child aggression.

Parent meeting on the topic: "CHILDREN'S AGGRESSION"

Do not anger the children: who wants to beat,

as a child, he will want to kill,

when it grows up.

P. Buast

Who can not take caress, he will not take and severity

AL. Chekhov

Children's aggressiveness, what is it, how does it manifest itself?

(Sayings of parents with a ball)

Childish aggressiveness is an uncivilized release of energy reserves in order to get a discharge.

Aggressive behavior is manifested when a child screams, fights, bites, kicks, takes away toys, stamps his feet, swings at adults, squeals, scolds, tears books, etc.

What does this behavior mean, where does it come from?

Children's aggressiveness is one of the significant topics of pedagogy. Children's aggressiveness is an absolutely normal and even necessary manifestation of a child's behavior, which is expressed in violation of the rules established by adults, and is accompanied by a loud protest. Children react differently to our prohibitions and prescriptions. Some are calm, while others react with behavior that we perceive as aggressive.

Life - and this is completely objective - is full of disappointments, and disappointments cause protest and rage. And if it is not possible to develop any strategy for overcoming these feelings, then the repressed aggressive drives find a neurotic way out from psychosomatic diseases (gastric ulcer, liver disease, etc.) to obvious mental disorders.

Practical researchers have proven that criminals or authoritarian historical figures (for example, Stalin, Hitler) were not aggressive children in childhood, on the contrary, they were more humiliated and depressed children. Humiliation is the seed from which crime will grow in the future. A person humiliated to the ground saves his balance only by humiliating others. Every person is naturally given an aggressive energy. However, people use it in different ways. Some - to create, and such energy is called constructive. Others - to destroy or destroy, their energy is destructive.

I suggest you play the game "What is this energy?"

The teacher throws the ball and says, for example: anger, stubbornness, self-defense, etc. The parent returns the ball back and names the type of energy that corresponds to this type of aggression.(To help the educator for the game: Constructive aggression- this is: activity, striving for achievements, protecting oneself and others, gaining freedom and independence, protecting one's own dignity.Destructive aggression- these are: violence, cruelty, hatred, malevolence, malice, Pickiness, anger, irritation, stubbornness.)

To measure one's strength, to conquer a peak, a turbulent river, space, to solve a scientific problem - this is a useful, kind, direction of energy necessary for progress.

To what extent is aggression normal for a preschooler?

(Statements of parents).

In a certain period of childhood (2-4 years), children tend to
aggressiveness, as children's life is full of disappointments,
caused by deprivations and restrictions that become
traumatic for the child.

So, already at an early age, the child is characterized by aggressiveness. With his crying, the baby expresses anger and indignation and demands the satisfaction of his own physiological needs.

The child does not become aggressive unexpectedly. He cannot be a good boy or a good girl and immediately start screaming and fighting with his peers. This process happens gradually. Up to a certain point, the child expresses his needs in a milder form, but adults do not pay attention to this until they encounter obvious violations of behavior that is perceived as aggressive or antisocial. In reality, this is a desperate attempt to satisfy needs, restore emotional state or social ties. It's just that the child is currently unable to express his feelings in a different way, so he is fighting for survival in the world around him.

Aggression may occur:

1. As a last resort when the child has no other options
   to meet your needs. Like an exit overflowing
   energy child (the child needs to run, jump, but they don’t give him. He
   starts kicking the ball, in his absence - his neighbor).
2. As "learned" behavior, when a child behaves aggressively, following a model (parents, cartoon character, etc.).
3. Aggressiveness and conflict as a result of the selfishness of a child who is accustomed to attention at home and requires it in the children's team. All means are used, including aggression - conflicts, quarrels, fights. The main thing is to be the center of attention.
4. Aggression - as a form of protection from feelings of anxiety, insecurity, depression, stress.

Such children run away from the strong, but get into a fight with the weak. The defense of the little aggressor lies in the attack, this gives him confidence. It is difficult for such a bully to make friends with other children - they try to stay away from him, avoid him.

5. Aggression - in response to emotional hunger, emotional dissatisfaction of the child. , insulting swearing.

In such a situation, it is necessary to examine the child and help a specialist.

In kindergarten, we are obliged to prohibit the manifestation of open aggressiveness, as we are responsible for the safety of children. The type of expression of aggressiveness depends on age. If a two-year-old child bites, this is one thing, and if a six-year-old child, then this is a rather alarming signal. What is alarming is not the fact that the child is angry and irritated, but the way in which he expresses his anger, i.e. in a way that is typical for two-year-old children.

This means that one should distinguish between a reaction to experiences and the correspondence of the form of this reaction to a certain age.

It is necessary to teach your child to communicate without conflict with other children.

Yes, we are obliged to establish rules and prohibitions and not be indignant at the same time that children protest against them and try to fight them. This is normal if everything happens within certain limits, because we do not want to see a completely submissive child.

Anger can flare up when you are criticized, when something is demanded or forbidden from you. The manifestation of aggressive drives in children is quite normal;

If the child is angry, and the reason is your prohibition, then do not condemn him for this. Leave the ban in place, but at the same time sympathize, console him, if possible, offer some kind of compromise.

For adults, it is important to understand that in a state of anger and irritation it is impossible to "resolve" any conflict situations with children.

There are three types of aggression:

• Physical aggression (attack) - the use of physical force against another person.
• Verbal (verbal) aggression.
• indirect aggression.

PHYSICAL AGGRESSIONmanifests itself in children quite often and immediately attracts the attention of adults. A child who has only been lightly hit begins to scream like a cut man, whimpering, begging for consolation. The "offender" has the ability to lie a little. Both are bad. In such a situation, it is necessary to separate the children from each other in different directions and begin to understand what happened only after the children calm down. At the same time, you need to calm the "offended", hug him, stroke his head and say: "Do not be upset, he did not want to hurt you." It is necessary to talk with the "offender" not so much in a "swearing" manner as constructively: there is a problem, it needs to be solved. The child needs to establish a rule: “You can’t beat. If you’re angry, if you want to hit, step aside. You can tell an adult about it,” that is, we must teach the child to recognize his feelings, recognize them, express them with words, not with fists. Be sure to praise your child whenever he manages to resolve the conflict without resorting to aggression.

Do you think it is necessary to respond to aggression with aggression?

(Sayings of parents)

It is bad when adults respond to aggression with aggressiveness. First of all, they themselves encourage Children to new aggression, and the child perceives the replicas "Go and give change" as a guide to action - go and hit.

However, if a child constantly quarrels with peers, it is necessary, together with a psychologist, to study the reasons for such excessively aggressive behavior and develop a certain tactic of behavior with a preschooler.

VERBAL (VERBAL) AGGRESSION- this is an expression of negative feelings not only through forms (quarrel, scream, squeal), but also through the content of verbal responses (threat, curses, swearing).

Almost all children sooner or later begin to use swear words in speech, shout insults, tease comrades or swear. However, this is not a cause for concern.

Children tend to listen to what adults say, who often do not notice how they behave. Some parents themselves teach the child certain expressions. The child learns separate words from playmates. And the fact that these words shock adults is a good reason for the child to repeat them again. And when they want to annoy their parents, they discover a new weapon of aggression.

It also happens that a child pronounces a word without knowing its meaning. How should we proceed in this case?(Sayings of parents)

The most correct would be to say that this is a bad word and should not be used.

The child will be disappointed in swearing if he does not see the desired result. Sometimes it is necessary to reprimand a child if he knows that this is a swear word: a sharp disapproving "Enough" works better than a long moralizing. It is also better not to draw the attention of others to foul language and not to provide it with the attention of the audience.

Children, like you and me, need to express emotions. Therefore, it is good to offer them words, alternative scolding, which can be pronounced with feeling in a fit of anger. For example, "fir-trees-sticks" or some teasers.

If offensive words are directed at adults, then you should not pay attention to them and take them to heart. It is simply necessary to ignore the child who insults people. Sometimes you need to firmly say: "I like you, but what you say I don't like."

Often behind verbal aggression lies a desire to feel strong and significant.

An early desire for swear words can also speak of more serious psychological problems of a small person who “takes revenge” for all his misfortunes with slander and lies. Our task is to make sure that children do not have the desire to swear. We cannot protect them from swear words, but it is our task to influence Them.

Mark with a "+" those statements that will help to influence the removal of verbal aggression and swear words in a child:

• Do not scold the child, do not threaten him, even if he says
  swear words.
• Make sure he is honest with you.
• Discourage the child when he utters swear words. Affectionate treatment will immediately remove children's aggressiveness.
• To draw everyone's attention to the child's abusive remark "You listen to what he says!"
• Briefly, without punishing, explain to him that it is indecent to speak swear words, just like picking your nose.
• If in the presence of strangers the child dropped a swear word, you must apologize for it and immediately change the topic of conversation.
• Read a moral to him for a long time.

INDIRECT AGGRESSION- this is such aggression, which is directed in a roundabout way to another person - this is malicious gossip, jokes; as well as aggression, manifested in screaming, stamping their feet, beating the table with their fists, etc.

The mechanism of indirect aggression is connected with the phenomenon of "transfer". For example, a mother does not give a child a candy, he immediately throws a toy on which he “transfers” his anger and aggression. At the same time, it should be remembered that then children suffer for a long time from their act. They have a sense of guilt, as well as a fear of losing the love and care of their parents. Which in turn can lead to aggression. A vicious circle develops, and the child's aggressiveness is directed to other objects.

Have you experienced a similar situation in your family?(Statements of parents).

Yes, in some children aggression takes the form of a destructive attitude towards things: they tear books, break toys,
breaking dishes, throwing things at people, etc.

Children's anger or discontent, which manifests itself in destructiveness, can subsequently result in a great drama. It is important for adults to remain calm and not respond with anger to anger. It is necessary to find out the reason for this behavior of the child, given his emotional fuse:

• Either the child, tired of the prohibitions of the parents, beats his doll because he is not able to do the same with his parents.
• Whether the reason lies in dependence, behind which is the desire to assert itself (the child is envious, angry at a friend who can build a tower, and calms himself by destroying it).
• Or he would rather break the toy than give it to another child. (I don’t want to share with anyone: it’s mine or no one’s.)

How should one behave in this situation with a child?(Sayings of parents)

• Pick up strong and strong toys that are hard to break.
• Offer collapsible toys for games with which the child can satisfy his curiosity.
• Do not give new toys.
• Do not immediately remove a broken toy so that they are clearly
  the consequences of a pogrom perpetrated by a child are visible.

We should not completely exclude aggressiveness from the nature of children, our task is to limit and control it, at the same time to encourage those manifestations of it that do not harm the individual and society.

What can an adult do to alleviate a child's aggressive experiences?(Sayings of parents)

It should be remembered that in an aggressive state a person suffers and worries, so you can transfer anger to some object that you will not cause damage (The child hit the table - the table is to blame.) Psychologists advise using a punching bag - then the rage quickly disappears.

It is necessary to remember about the ritual of reconciliation, which brings purification.

It is important to judge the conflict itself, not the child. Punishment should not hurt, should not humiliate the child.

Prevention of aggression.

It is impossible to prevent the emergence of aggressiveness, but it can be overcome. A good method is a conversation about aggressiveness, when the child can talk about his feelings, when he finds the right words for them and gains power over them. When he sees that he is understood and not condemned for his feelings.

"How do you feel today?" - this is the best remedy for overcoming affects. And if the child is anxious, speaking out feelings in itself helps to mitigate the aggressive energy. Giving feelings a name is a kind of "psychotherapeutic" work. You can remove aggressive energy by drawing a picture of anger, subsequently destroying it, thereby removing some of the conflicts that could arise in the future.

We must develop in children the ability to discuss their own feelings and character traits, repressing aggressive feelings.

Take a big part in the life of the child, allowing him to feel loved and desired.

The more the child is self-confident, the less often he will experience anger, envy, the less egoism will remain in him.

parent meeting decision

• Support the work of the kindergarten on the prevention of child aggression.
• Do not rush to intervene in children's disassembly and quarrels. Give children the opportunity to figure it out on their own, let them learn to communicate with each other.
• Don't blame another child while protecting your own. Offer to understand why the conflict arose.
• Do not discuss aggressive behavior in front of the child. The label of a fighter and a bully can become a guide to action - to resolve conflicts by force.

REMINDER FOR PARENTS ON PREVENTION

CHILD AGGRESSION

(To the parent meeting: "Children's aggressiveness")

1. Do it in such a way as to save the child from experiences, stress, conflicts, anxiety and self-doubt in the family.
2. Be an example of behavior for a child: do not allow outbursts of anger, do not speak badly about people, do not plan revenge with him.
3. Talk to your child about possible behaviors.
   Let him say when he was wrong and why the quarrel arose
   or a fight.

4. Do not forget to regret once again, Caress and praise the child.

1. A child should grow up with the confidence that he is loved, that he is the dearest, that in a difficult moment of his life he can come to you for help and support.
2. Offer your child games and exercises to relieve tension, emotional relaxation, to expand the behavioral repertoire:

• "Balloon". - You are a balloon. Here you are angry, more and more (inflate the balloon). There is more and more anger, you are already filled with it all - that's how this balloon is, just as inflated. What will happen? A little more anger, and the balloon will burst (demonstrate to the child how the balloon will burst). And if you carefully release the air, then it will remain intact, it will not burst.
• "Kicking". - The kid, lying on the carpet, kicks like a foal, like a big horse.
• Jump like a grasshopper, goatling, lion, kangaroo, raindrops.
• Sit like a butterfly on a flower, a grandmother in a chair, a mother hen on a nest, a flower in a flower bed.
• Walk like a bear in the forest, a cunning fox, a kitten, a turtle...
• Swim like a goldfish, an angry shark, a huge whale, a toothy crocodile...

Fly like snowflakes, swan geese, Baba Yaga on a broomstick, a small sparrow, a big eagle, a light cloud, a bee over flowers.

09.05.2015 2076 490 Nurumbetova Marina Sultanbekovna

The topic of our meeting is serious and difficult. This is the theme of the manifestation of cruelty and aggression by children. Aggression is intentional actions aimed "at causing harm to another person." Aggressiveness is a personality trait, "expressed in readiness for aggression." Aggression, as a rule, does not arise unexpectedly.

What are the causes of child aggression?

These are various features of the environment in which a person is located, it increases or reduces the likelihood of aggressive actions. For example, in a room where there are strong unpleasant odors, tobacco smoke, etc., the level of aggression will be higher than in a well-ventilated room. In addition, individual characteristics of a person play a large role in the appearance of aggressive reactions; irritable people are more aggressive.

Scientists believe that the more often a person commits aggressive actions, the more these actions become an integral part of his behavior. In this, the role of parents is great, who, by their example, without realizing it, can teach the child to show aggression.

There are two types of aggression:

"benign" and "malignant". The first appears at the moment of danger and is defensive in nature. As soon as the danger disappears, this form of aggression also fades. "Malignant" aggression is cruelty and is spontaneous.

All these types of aggression can be observed in people of all ages, and sometimes they manifest themselves from early childhood. Many factors influence the establishment of a child's aggressive behavior, for example, some somatic diseases or diseases of the brain. Currently, scenes of violence on TV screens contribute to an increase in the level of aggressiveness of the audience. There is also a direct link between manifestations of child aggression and parenting styles. If a child is severely punished for any manifestation of aggressiveness, then he learns to hide his anger in the presence of parents, but this does not guarantee the suppression of aggression in any other situation. And the dismissive and condoning attitude of adults to the aggressive outbursts of the child also leads to the formation of aggressive personality traits in him. Children often use aggression and disobedience in order to attract the attention of an adult. Uncertainty and hesitation of parents when making any decisions provoke the child to whims and outbursts of anger, with the help of which children can achieve their own. In order to eliminate unwanted manifestations of aggression in a child, as a preventive measure, I advise parents to pay more attention to their children, strive to establish warm relations with them, and at certain stages of the development of a son or daughter, show firmness and determination.

Since the behavior of aggressive children is often unpredictable and manifests itself in emotional outbursts, the problem of teaching a child acceptable ways to express anger is one of the most acute and important problems facing adults. What is anger? This is a feeling of intense resentment with a loss of control over oneself.

There are several ways to express anger

1. Directly state your feelings, while giving vent to negative emotions.

2. Express anger in an indirect form, taking it out on a person or object (window, desk, door, etc.), which seems harmless to him. Anger spills out on someone who “turns up” under the arm, who is weaker and cannot to push back.

3. Control your anger by "driving" it inside. In this case, gradually accumulating negative feelings will contribute to stress. If a person constantly suppresses his anger, he is more at risk of psychosomatic disorders, unexpressed anger can become one of the causes of diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis, urticaria, psoriasis, stomach ulcers, migraine, hypertension, etc.

After that, you need to tell him how to express anger in a different way - in a positive way. In order to achieve results, an adult must himself set a positive example and demonstrate models of mature behavior. Another way to express anger is to transfer feelings to non-dangerous objects (rubber toys, rubber balls, pillows, foam balls). The ways of expressing anger (splashing out) include loud singing of songs, and blowing bubbles, and fighting with a punching bag, sculpting figures of the offender from plasticine. Aggressive children are often characterized by muscle clamps, especially in the face and hands.

Orders and punishments can cause either anger or a permanent suppression of this anger. Therefore, parents should punish the child only in extreme cases. If the child's anger is constantly suppressed, the child may begin to act on the sly, on purpose to do something "out of spite." The technique of behavior modification is very simple: for good behavior the child receives encouragement, for bad behavior - punishment. However, this method should not be used too often, otherwise the parents will get tired of the annoying questions of their child: “What will happen to me for this? »

The best guarantee of good self-control and adequate behavior in children is the ability of parents to control themselves. Unfortunately, many parents still do not know how to manage their own anger. The consequence of this will be that their children are unlikely to ever learn the skills of adequate expression of anger in the process of education. Scientists advise parents not to touch the child at the moment when they are angry with him. In such situations, it is better to go to another room in order to fully establish control over yourself. If parents are constantly trying to emphasize the dignity of their child, not only in front of other people, but first of all in their home, then, of course, the child will try to show those qualities that parents emphasize in him. If parents constantly demonstrate the bad qualities of their child, especially in front of strangers, then the child, as it were, has nothing to lose, the threshold of shame and responsibility has been overcome, and you can continue to repeat doing bad things.

If we analyze the causes of negative emotions and feelings of children, they are primarily related to the family. Constant quarrels of parents, physical violence of parents towards each other, rudeness of daily communication - this is a daily school of aggression in which the child is formed and receives lessons in mastery in the manifestation of aggression. One of the main conditions for preventing aggressive behavior of children is the exactingness of parents in relation to themselves and in relation to their own child. Demanding should be reasonable and benevolent. Very often, children's aggressiveness is due to the fact that parents show meaningless demands. You should not give in to whims and make indulgences unnecessarily. Demandingness is justified when feasible tasks are put forward before the child and all possible assistance is provided in their solution, otherwise it is meaningless. Even the most just and uncomplicated demand, expressed in an arbitrary form, will arouse the resistance of any child, even the most complaisant one.

Aggressiveness of the child is manifested if:

The child is beaten;

The child is being bullied;

They play tricks on the child;

The child is made to experience a sense of undeserved shame;

Parents knowingly lie;

Parents drink and fight;

Parents raise a child with double morality;

Parents do not know how to love their children equally;

Parents do not trust the child;

Parents turn the child against each other;

Parents do not communicate with their child;

The entrance to the house is closed to the child's friends;

Parents show petty guardianship and care to the child;

Parents live their lives, the child feels that he is not loved.

To overcome child aggression, parents should have in their arsenal: attention, sympathy, patience, exactingness, honesty, openness, commitment, kindness, affection, care, trust, understanding, sense of humor, responsibility, tact.

"Golden" rules of education.

1. Learn to listen and hear your child.

2. Try to make sure that only you relieve his emotional stress.

3. Do not forbid children to express negative emotions.

4. Know how to accept and love the child for who he is.

5. Obedience, obedience and diligence will be where they are presented reasonably.

6. The aggression of the family leads to aggressive manifestations in the behavior of the child.

Instructions for parents on the prevention of child aggression.

Dear dads and moms! Please read this note carefully! To do this, arm yourself with a pencil and cross out those items that do not relate to the educational system of your family. Mentally imagine the face of your child, be honest with him and with yourself. After the analysis, think about what else can be changed before it is too late.

Games for hyperactive and aggressive children.

First of all, these are games that are directly aimed at enriching emotional sensations, designed to make you laugh, surprise, and calm.

1. Tell verses with your hands

2. Games for the coordination of joint movements "Firewood sawing, Pump, Smithy".

3. Try to show, try to guess (image of objects and / or actions with them)

4. Games for the development of attention and self-control "Labyrinth, What has changed, What is similar, what is not similar, Find the extra."

5. "Boxing", "Pillow fights"

Our next meeting is coming to an end. I would like it to be useful for you, cause reflection, a desire to build relationships in your family in a new way. The most important words that you need to say to your child always: “I love you, we are there, we are together and we will overcome everything”

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“A person has the ability to love, and if he cannot find an application for his ability to love, he is able to hate, showing aggression and cruelty. He is guided by this means as an escape from his own mental pain ... (E. Fromm) "The best way to make children good is to make them happy" (O. Wilde)

Aggression is intentional actions aimed at causing damage to another person, a group of people or an animal. Aggressiveness is a relatively stable personality trait that manifests itself in a readiness to attack. Aggression is action. Aggressiveness is the readiness to commit such actions.

A means of achieving some goal - A way of self-affirmation - Protective behavior - Rude, cruel behavior of parents - When a child lives in an atmosphere of rejection of him, dislike for him - Relationships with peers - Relationships in the family - Opposite requirements - Inconsistency of parents - Features of biological development - Mass media -Computer games The main causes of manifestations of children's aggressiveness are:

What kind of children grow up aggressive most often? Boys: - "Idols of the family", who grew up without fathers in a continuous female environment (mothers, grandmothers, aunts, cousins, etc.). - Growing up in families with a tough authoritarian father and a soft, compliant, inconsistent mother. Girls: - In a family with a tough authoritarian mother and a soft, compliant father. - Left to themselves and making their way through life on their own, in these cases, aggressiveness serves as a survival mechanism. Boyish aggression usually manifests itself more openly, rudely, it is less controllable and the boys begin to control it later than the girls. Girls replace physical aggression with verbal aggression quite early.

Emergency intervention for aggressive manifestations 1. Calm attitude in case of minor aggression. 2. Focusing on actions (behavior), and not on individuals. 3. Control over your own negative emotions. 4. Reducing the tension of the situation. 5. Discussing wrongdoing. 6. Preservation of the positive reputation of the child. 7. Demonstration of a model of non-aggressive behavior.

Rules of conduct for parents: Do not fix attention on the aggressive behavior of the child, do not show rudeness, cruelty yourself. Banning and raising your voice are the most ineffective ways to overcome aggressiveness. The expression of surprise, disappointment, bewilderment of relatives about hostile behavior - this is what forms restraining principles in children. Try to be attentive to the child and feel his emotional stress. React and respond to any positive changes in the child's behavior. He wants to feel at every moment of time that he is understood and appreciated. Learn to listen and hear your child. Learn to accept it the way it is. More often include warmth, a kind word, an affectionate look in communication.

"You are the statement" "I am the statement" Why didn't you put the toys away? I get upset when toys are scattered. Have you done your homework? Maybe I can help you with your lessons? Did you get a C in math again? Your math worries me. You haven't read a single book this summer! I bought you an interesting book.