It's Chemistry: How Our Heart Decides Who To Love

Every girl dreams of guessing from the first time which man is destined to make her happy all her life. Unfortunately, it is not always possible to predict the scenario. And it is not at all necessary that the person turns out to be a villain, the problem may be hidden in yourself.

What helps and hinders you from choosing who to love

Each person has several leading components: gender, generic goals, needs and plans. You drew an image of an ideal partner in your soul, this is your goal, but there are also blockages and negatives that interfere, confuse, make you doubt.

It may seem to a woman that she does not have locks on the topic of marriage, but when we ask which man she sees next to her, she will answer, for example: wealthy! And this is precisely her inner fear, which says that she has mechanisms inside that can attract a man to her who will not suit her financially. What is it - just fear, blockage, generic negative, karma? We do not know…

Many young women also choose partners similar to their father. And this is also not without reason, but it is better to use a different approach, for example, a proven technique that we described for you in stages.

How to determine which qualities in a man are key for you

We take paper, a pen and begin to write out those features that attract you to your father. Usually 4-5 important qualities are voiced: kindness, care, responsibility, a sense of humor ... These are guaranteed the qualities with which you always look for in men.

Then we write down the qualities that you don't like. Usually this is a big age difference, aggression, alcohol abuse, or, conversely, excessive gentleness of character. This list will contain qualities that you can never come to terms with. Or you can, but dooming yourself to suffering.

What questions you need to answer to yourself in order not to be mistaken

Further, the list of qualities of an ideal partner should be put aside and start a frank conversation with yourself. Write down what feelings you are able to show towards a man: love, falling in love, sympathy, patience? At the same time, I recommend that you approach this as honestly as possible, this is the key to success.

Where would you like to live with your husband? At home or at his place? This is important, because if a girl is attached to her apartment, her work is nearby, then, moving to a partner, she will largely turn against herself. Or, on the contrary, a young woman dreams of moving from her parents or from an area that she does not like, and this also needs to be voiced.

Would you like to work in marriage or not? I am often approached by girls in a state of very tough conflict in the family with her husband and mother-in-law. The scenario is something like this: a young woman got married, gave birth to a child and wants to go to work in order to build a career, but the family is categorically against it. Surely you know similar examples. If a woman, even before marriage, had realized that her career was important to her, would have voiced this to her future partner, then, most likely, the couple either separated to find a more suitable half, or otherwise would have built a relationship from the very beginning.

Is it important for you to work in a marriage? Is it important to build a career? Write this as an important point for yourself and voice it to a man even before a serious relationship. And if you want to stay at home with your child, not to work, also voice it to the man. At this stage, many are stopped by the fear "How so - I will tell him, he will leave!" And it's good that it leaves. Better now than when you fall in love. Better now than when you have joint children and constant scandals. Maybe it won't go away, maybe this man will be so comfortable. But if you don’t tell, you don’t decide how you should live, they decide for you!

Next, think about and write down how much time you are ready to devote to your family and everyday life. I also recommend writing this point as realistically as possible, realizing that this is not a "contract" for a year. Therefore, if you are ready to cook breakfast and dinner for your husband, moreover from one dish, so write. We all really want to show ourselves better than we really are. But if we embellish a suitable partner at the stage of parsing a future partner, at the stage of "ordering", then we will be provided with an invoice. Marriage is a long-term relationship. Therefore, I recommend not to deceive yourself and write your real possibilities.

Write down all the components in this vein: making love, lifestyle, vacation, country of residence. We do not describe the future husband as "handsome rich brunette, height 1.80", we describe ourselves and our life. But really thinking and understanding your needs.

What's next?

So what to do next with this list? Burn, eat, throw away, so that he will certainly be fulfilled? Do nothing, you can put it in the bedside table. It is important that you talk to yourself honestly and without embellishment. No "will endure and fall in love"! Now is not the time: people swear, conflict, then get divorced, themselves and their children suffer. Therefore, in choosing a partner, the utmost honesty with oneself and realism is important.