Technique of falling in love: says a sexologist and NLP trainer

Falling in love is not love. But it all starts with her. Suppose you have a man in mind with whom you would like to build a relationship, or you already know each other, but the relationship does not develop. What you need to know in order to make a man fall in love with you, to become for him that very one and only? Inna Paustovskaya, a family psychologist, a sexologist, an international certified trainer of NLP and personal development programs, a full member of the OPPL, the head of the wclub.pro training center, shared little female tricks with Cleo.

Do you have something in common?

Let's see how love arises. Exists three whales on which the whole technique of falling in love is based. The first is your interest in each other when communication between a man and a woman is just beginning to develop. And here it is important to know: the more you have in common, the more likely your partner will think that your acquaintance is not accidental. That is why it is important to emphasize coincidences at the very beginning of communication, and if you see them, do not hesitate to talk about this man, focusing on even the smallest things. Act according to the principle: the more the better. In addition to simple “me too” matches (“I love it too,” “I do too”), value matches are more important when you find common views and interests. And here you need not only to talk about them, but also to support them with your actions.

For example, friends can be a value for a man, then a girl should never scold her friends or ignore their attention. A man might say, "You don't need friends so much that you don't want to answer the phone?" or "Do you find it hard to help when they need it?"

Also, for many men, work is a priority. Then you do not need to reproach him for the fact that he often disappears at work and pays little attention to you. Better support him and show that you have the same views with him. When there is a lot in common between people, when there is a partner who understands us nearby, we don’t want to let such a person go. This also includes everything that unites you: an interesting pastime, joint activities, hobbies.

Proper investment of resources

The second extremely important component is the investment of resources. The golden rule of relationships: whoever tries harder, needs more. Therefore, if we want a man to be in love, it is important that he tries. The three main resources he should invest in a relationship are time, money, and emotions. The first thing it all starts with is emotions, they also pull up all other types of resources. For example, when a man remembers how good it was, when he dreams about a future meeting, plans, fantasizes, etc. This also includes emotions with a minus sign, when he is worried, for example, why the girl does not answer the phone.

Emotions entail a temporary resource: a man thinks about her, he wants to meet a girl more often, talk on the phone. Any help, any joint action is an investment of time, which is why it is important to provoke a man to give the girl more personal attention: do not call a taxi, but take him yourself. And the third element is money, when a man spends on a girl. The more funds involved in a relationship, the greater their value for a man. When he remembers how much effort, time and money he spent on a girl, he no longer wants to give her up. The girl needs to quickly assess which resource is the most scarce for the chosen man in order to provoke him to invest the missing one. It is only important to do it delicately. For example, a student may have a lot of emotions, time, but little money. He is ready to communicate with a girl for days, but even a bouquet of flowers can be quite a waste for him, especially if it is a big expensive bouquet. An accomplished man who is engaged in business may be fine with money, but he is sorely lacking time. It is easier for him to instruct someone to help the girl than to try himself. In this situation, you need to provoke him to invest his free time to the maximum.

No sex anywhere

And the third important component, without which the relationship will be more friendly, partner, rather than close, personal, is sex. Some men say: “Why do these techniques of falling in love even exist? Let the girl first feed the man, then satisfy him, and he will not go anywhere else. Of course, this is a joke, but it proves once again that sex is a really important component. There are relationships that are only based on sex, because the partners are so good with each other that they cannot feel anything like that with someone else. But such relationships will not last long, because sex cannot always be equally good: what used to cause a storm of emotions, then becomes the norm. And here it is important that there be an effect of novelty, as well as the ability to receive and give pleasure. For example, there are girls who are focused only on the pleasure of their partner, but for many men, the fact of how satisfied the woman was is important. This is an important point for their self-esteem.

It is important that there is a novelty effect, as well as the ability to receive and give pleasure.

In any case, all three components are necessary to create and develop beautiful and vibrant relationships. As soon as one of them falls out, it seems that something is missing. There is, for example, an investment of money, common interests, but there is no good sexual component, in this case the partners will be ideal friends. If there is interest and good sex, but no investments, these will be meetings without obligations. If there are no common interests, then these will be short-term "barter" relations. The girl needs to ensure that there are no gaps in any of the three elements. Then the man's interest in her will not weaken, the relationship will be long and the man himself will want to develop them and be always close to such a girl!