Muslim man in a relationship with a Christian woman. Muslim marriage

This is a union of two people, but far from always the partners are similar in opinions or religious views. That is why certain difficulties often happen. To be happy with their husband, women are ready for a lot, even to change their faith. Are Christians and Muslims - is there a chance to become happy together or is it worth giving preference to a man with other views?

In fact, you decide, because if you are clearly have decidedIf you are ready to concede and put up with some features, then it is likely that you will be happy. How is the marriage of a Christian and Muslim different from the marriage of people with one religion? You will learn about this in this article.

What awaits a woman who has decided to marry a Muslim?

1. Religious disagreement. Some representatives of the fair sex are quite indifferent to faith or even deny any of its manifestations. If you adhere to Christianity, then marriage to a Muslim will not be so easy for you. Sometimes it’s not so easy to readjust to new rules and principles, especially if you are clearly sure that you are right. If a Muslim gives way or changes faith, then this is some exception, so you should be prepared that you will have to change. You can always be neutral, but if you are a deep believer, you will not be able to do this for a long time.

2. Other requirements for the wife. Many modern women are clearly confident that everyone on the planet is equal, regardless of gender, but Muslims do not think so. You will have to come to terms with the fact that your main task will be housekeeping and a willingness to meet your husband's needs at any time. If you are clearly sure that you are not ready to serve a man, it is better to refuse a marriage with a Muslim. It is unlikely that a Muslim will forgive you for an unprepared dinner or unwillingness to have sex.

3. Willingness to obey. A Muslim always believes that he is right, and the opinion of his wife is a secondary concept for him. Remember how parents made them listen and obey? Be prepared that with a husband a Muslim will have to be just that. Some women believe that Muslims absolutely do not listen to the opinion of their wives and do only what they want. This is not entirely true, because often they consult with their wives. But remember that no matter what you advised or suggested, the last decision will remain with him. Someone believes that this is normal, but for someone this attitude is a drawback. A smart wife can always present her opinion so that the man thinks that this is his decision, so if your love is strong, it’s worth a try.

4. You cannot refuse intimacy. All excuses about a headache, bad mood or problems at work of your husband will not interest a Muslim at all. The wife does not have the right to refuse sex, because he is the main in the family, and his desire is the law. The exception may be when you have critical days or are seriously ill. A headache and simply malaise are not a good reason to refuse sex. Even if you don’t want to at all, you will have to please your beloved and be the most passionate for him.

5. You will have to hide your body and face. Surely you have heard that many Muslim women cover their face and body. This is necessary so that other men do not have the opportunity to look at you. A Muslim’s wife can delight only her husband’s eyes, and he will have to hide from other members of the stronger sex. This requirement most often applies to Muslim women, but if you are a Christian and are planning to marry a Muslim, be prepared for the fact that they will also demand it from you.

6. Muslim may have 4 wives. In Christianity, it is accepted that one man can be married to one woman, but polygamy is practiced in Islam. Not all Muslims decide to marry several women, so there is a possibility that you can become the only one for him. Your marriage will be more traditional for you if you stay in your country and do not go to his homeland. If you decide to change your place of residence, it is likely that he will introduce you to his next wife over time.

7. The husband has the right to punish you physically. Much has been said about domestic violence, but this is not something terrible among Muslims. If the wife does not listen to her husband, shows her character and tries to be equal with him, he can punish her physically. It’s a rather unpleasant fact, but you should be prepared for this. The most important thing is that there should be no signs of beatings on her body, because then the wife has the right to file for divorce.

Do not expect a Muslim to forget his traditions

Many women sincerely hope that their beloved person is quite modern, and all traditions are not so important for him as for more mature representatives of the Muslim faith. Often young guys go to study in other countries, where they get acquainted with Christian girls. Of course, they partially forget about some of the rules and principles of their faith, but this is not long enough. As soon as he returns to his native home, where his close people live, he immediately recalls the traditions and adheres to them in strict order. If you decide to go live with your chosen one, then be prepared for the fact that much will surprise you or even shock you. It is likely that your boyfriend will behave completely differently than in your country. You can convince yourself as much as you like, but marriage with such a person will not be simple, for sure you will have a number of difficulties due to differences and differences in faith.

As you can see, the marriage of two people who do not adhere to one faith, can be quite complex and specific. You yourself must understand that the choice is yours, so decide what is right for you and what is unacceptable to you. Now you know what are the features of marriage with a Muslim, so you won’t be shocked. Listen to your heart, but do not forget about the mind, because you just can ruin your life.

In the modern world, marriages between people of different religious faiths are no longer surprised, borders are erased, globalization is taking leaps and bounds. If sometimes questions arise such as: is it possible for a Muslim to marry a Christian - life makes its own adjustments, people find a common language or somehow solve the problem.

To get the right answers to questions about this, one must turn to the primary sources, the Bible and the Qur'an, only they can give true believers the right instructions.

Often there are situations when an adherent of Islam falls in love with a Christian girl. The young man is lost and does not know what to do with his feelings. What should he do? Is a marriage possible between a Muslim and a Christian?

Nikah between Muslim and Christian

Nikah is an Islamic marriage between a Muslim and a Muslim. It will also be valid if a Muslim marries a girl of the Christian faith. In this case, the woman is part of a Muslim family and will honor the traditions of this house.

At the same time, she does not have to accept Islam, the Qur'an says about this.

Another thing is that a woman will be responsible for her relationship with a Gentile before her faith. If a woman is unbeliever, such a problem will not even arise.

Nikah will be valid between a Muslim and a Christian, as the Qur'an makes an exception for women who are, by religion, adherents of Scripture or Ahlul-Kitab (in Arabic). Christians and Jews are on this list.

Its useful to note: a woman will also receive a divorce (talaq) according to Islamic customs, if her husband publicly pronounces this word three times, the marriage will be considered divorced. In some communities, it is enough to say twice without witnesses.

A woman does not have the right to divorce. In the Qur'an, there are cases when talak is possible for a wife, but they are very few and practically impossible to make. For example, to accuse the spouse of infidelity, you need to find several witnesses, no one will believe the woman’s words.

It must be remembered that children from this marriage, in the event of a divorce, will remain with their father, the mother will not have rights to them. Also, the man will have to support his ex-wife, to pay something like alimony, if she went to him a virgin.

Is it possible for a Muslim to marry a Russian

Russians are Christians by faith, but the Qur'an distinguishes them from other adherents of the Christian faith.

According to Allah, the Russians are polytheists, they believe the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. So, until a Russian woman believes Islam, she cannot be married.

She will be considered as a wife if she renounces her faith and honors the traditions of Islam, raising her children as true Muslims.

If a girl was brought up in a family with strong Christian traditions, it will be difficult for her to give up her faith. The option when a Muslim man will accept another faith for the sake of his beloved is not even considered, there are one in tens of millions of such precedents.

Consider how the Bible interprets this situation.

Is it possible for a Christian woman to marry a Muslim

A Christian woman can marry a Muslim, but she will live unmarried in a marriage, which means in sin.

The Christian faith does not recognize such a marriage, considering it cohabitation. If she is ready for this step, then she takes responsibility for her fate and turns away from her Creator.

In the Bible, such marriages are called “great evil” and “sin before God,” which cannot be washed away in one’s entire life. The guilt will be "grown to heaven", the act will be considered "lawlessness, exceeding the head."

The holy book of all Christians does not approve of marriages with people of other faiths, this is clear from the Old Testament sayings: "to take wives and marry only from their people." The New Testament is also opposed and, through the mouth of Paul (the apostle), says that “only marriage is in the Lord,” and the Muslim does not walk under our God.

A detailed study of this topic will help the book of Father Daniel, where he reflects on such marriages.

Book of Father Daniel (Daniil Sysoev) “Marriage with a Muslim”

The author of the book communicates with the reader in a simple and understandable language. The topics that he raises are relevant today, as there is a constant mixture of cultures, religions.

His thoughts help to understand how the Orthodox Church relates to mixed marriages. For some it will be just information, but for someone a useful lesson.

What to do if you are already in alliance with a Gentile? How to divorce? Or how to behave in an unusual environment? Answers to these questions may be helpful to young people. Maybe someone will begin to consider their relationship with people from a different angle.

The examples given in the book will make you think about what I would do or do if I were in such a situation. Those who are interested in learning about the sacraments of the Wedding or Baptism will find their topic, they are described in an accessible language.

12:51 2018

What awaits us? What will the parents say? Can a Muslim marry a Christian? What rights do brides have? How about polygamy? Can we be happy? And if so, for how long? But what about our children? And a lot of similar questions, the answers to which, in my opinion, are overgrown with myths. Therefore, I will try to tell you what you should really prepare for.

To begin with, put a bullet in the answer to the question: “Is it possible a marriage between a Christian and a Muslim? ” Yes. A Muslim man is allowed to marry women from the People of Scripture - Christians, Jews. To do this, you do not have to give up your faith, wear a hijab, and so on. The Qur'an clearly states that there is no compulsion in religion. But, of course, it is desirable for the girl to accept Islam and profess the same faith with her husband. When concluding a marriage, you seem to board the same boat, and if everyone will row in his own direction, will you sail far?

In the first case christian is going to get married per the so-called "nominal" or ethnic muslim. That is, a person considers himself a Muslim, but does not have a penchant for Islam and religious practice. Throughout life, such couples are guided by familiar moral principles and values. It is possible that the husband will go to the mosque twice a year on major holidays or observe the traditions of his people. Especially enterprising wives, and I know such cases, husbands even go to church on Sundays and are not against the icons in the house. In fact, there are a lot of such marriages. You can hear: "There is a Muslim husband from a neighbor, and he allows her everything - both to paint, and to go without a scarf." Yes, it does, but the man himself is not averse to drinking and stares at the girls. And this is exactly the case when it is necessary to separate the "flies from cutlets." One must understand that to be called a Muslim and to be him are two different things. Such families are considered Muslim, usually because of their place of residence or eastern surname, but not because of their lifestyle. Their longevity falls into the statistics of secular marriages.

In the second case muslim and Christian marriage not limited to the registry office. If you find that your faithful turned out to be also true, then you have a direct road to the mosque to legalize marriage, not only in front of society, but also the Almighty. Often during a nikyah a woman will still be asked to pronounce a shahada (testimony of Monotheism). Many do this not nominally and in fact, over time they convert to Islam. But there are reverse cases. So, for example, one of my friends came out marry a Turk and divorced after 5 years. Since after the birth of the child all the differences that are possible between muslim and Christian. When the husband wanted to teach his son namaz, the wife continued to memorize "Our Father" for the night. Think about whether you are ready to compromise on such vital issues, and agree on everything “ashore”. And if you do not plan to raise a child in the Muslim faith, then why connect life with a person of other principles? The strongest families are those where the wife is literally “behind her husband”: she fully accepts his lifestyle, she respects religion and helps her husband when everyone is in his place and fulfills his duties.

The third option is nicknames without a registry office. Good news: muslim can marry a Christianby simply enclosing nicknames in the nearest mosque. Two witnesses are enough, which are usually friends, and the imam acts as the guardian of the girl. The bad news is that almost all such marriages break up within the first two years, and the children who appear in such families grow up without a father. Remember, and better write in bold letters: never agree to such adventures! Despite the fact that polygamy is allowed in Islam and in some countries of Asia and Africa is supported at the state level, the proportion of such marriages in these countries is very low. But for some reason, young beauties are in a hurry to fill up the sad statistics and get involved in stories about which television and the Internet make noise. Dear girls, before you go out marry an arabor another eastern prince, make it clear: men love what they invest in. A marriage concluded in 5 minutes in a mosque, even with a decent gift, is nothing but a way of quick and legal access to intimate relationships. Do not rush to become the second, third, fourth, because the world is full of divorced and even widowers. Why deliberately put yourself in a disadvantageous and obviously losing situation? But even if you are the first and only one, and your betrothed only talks about love and is in no hurry to collect the necessary certificates for the embassy and marriage, run away from him. Most likely, this person is not distinguished by decency and responsibility for loved ones.

So, what is the first thing you should pay attention to before going out married to a muslim.We list the main points for a happy and long marriage:

1. The beginning. As the saying goes: "A good start - half the battle has pumped out." It matters where and under what circumstances you met. It is doubtful that a marriage in which future spouses met at a disco or on the beach would be blessed. If you are still in search, then be sure that the phrase "I want to get married" clearly visible to the opposite sex. Unfortunately, even Muslims meet people with bad intentions, so be especially careful in public places if you are alone or with a girlfriend. Choose a spouse from your environment or as recommended by friends.

2. Time. Never rush out get married early. There is a beautiful custom in Islam to protect your interests - engagement (al-hitab). In this case, before marriage, the young have time to get to know each other and make a considered, balanced decision. It is better to spend months clarifying all the questions before the wedding than to torment yourself with an alien person all your life or get a divorce in six months. According to my observations, most hasty marriages are extremely unsuccessful and unhappy. Do not make hasty decisions, do not burn bridges and do not go about feelings. The hadith says that inanity is from Allah, and haste is from shaitan. If you are going to create a strong and lasting family for life, then arm yourself with this wisdom.

3. The family. Be sure to meet the close relatives of the groom. May your future husband receive a parental blessing. Also take a close look at the lifestyle in his family. How committed to religion are the mother and father of the chosen one, what kind of relationship they have. In 99% of cases, a man copies the model of parental behavior. Watch out if he is hiding you from everyone or is silent about the facts of his biography. Some peoples, especially in the Caucasus, are extremely unlikely to marry women of other nationalities. And if the groom's family is categorically against your joint future and sees a stranger in you, it’s worth seriously thinking. It is equally important what position your future husband takes in a difficult situation. Which side is he on: Does it support you, or is parental opinion important to him? You will also gain the support and understanding of loved ones before you leave marry a muslim. And really appreciate your chances - whether you will be able to fight all your life for happiness with your husband or alone, and also think about the consequences for children.

4. Customs. A very important point, since not all Muslims are guided only by the Quran. For many peoples, traditions are so firmly rooted in everyday life that it is simply silly to disregard them. Learn the customs of the people of your chosen one and try to try on yourself whether it suits or not. If something confuses you in the behavior of a young man, then ask yourself: would he treat me like that if I were ... (for example, an Arab, an Ingush, a Tatar, etc.). If the answer is no, then you should be alert. Let's say in the East it’s customary to give women a lot of gold for a wedding and organize lavish ceremonies, and your gentleman suggests that you confine yourself to a table in a cafe and teach instead of mahr surah of the Quran. Or if it is customary that the daughter-in-law clean and cook for the whole family, and the man says that there will be no problems in everyday life. Get ready to adopt foreign traditions, learn a language, live in an unusual environment, adapt to a different culture. After all, you are aware that you will have to change, not your husband?

5. Language. At first, perhaps a few phrases are enough for you, but to live together in an interethnic marriage, be prepared to learn your spouse's language, especially if you go to his homeland. It’s ideal to attend language courses, but you can use the tutorials and lessons, which are now numerous on the Internet. It should also be borne in mind that languages \u200b\u200bwill have to be taught to your children. Over time, you will learn all the intricacies and rules of bilingual families, but to maintain literacy and a good level of two languages, you will have to sweat a lot.

6. Documents. If the Muslim fiancé is not a citizen of the Russian Federation, then you will also have to comprehend the intricacies of international law. It doesn’t matter where you live, the rule “without a piece of paper you are a bug” applies everywhere. Keep in mind that you need to complete all the documents for marriage, take care of the timely extension of visas and obtain a residence permit for yourself or your future spouse. Often this process requires not only money and time, but also nerves.

7. Social status. Everyone probably knows the joke: “How to marry a millionaire?” “Marry a billionaire.” In life, unfortunately, it is often the opposite. Women fall in love with unkempt people and sculpt millionaires out of them. They are ready to sell apartments, to give their savings only for swearing them eternal love. Why this scheme works well with an Egyptian animator or Tajik guest worker, but does not work with a Russian janitor or waiter, I do not understand. But the fact remains. Unfortunately, even among my friends there are such victims. Problems can be avoided if you initially seek equal status spouse. In fairness, it should be noted that many couples start from scratch. But even if the chosen one is from a poor family, he should have the potential, the desire to develop and improve, and not live at the expense of others. In Islam there is no "dowry", but there is the concept of " mahr"- a wedding gift for a woman, and the responsibility for material support after the marriage rests entirely with men.

But the most important thing is religion. The Messenger of Allah (sallalahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “Verily, each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for the flock. A man is a shepherd for his family and is responsible for his flock ” (Muslim, The Book of Government, 5, 1213).

Is Nikah made for those who, being non-Muslims, married in a registry office or were married in a church, and then converted to Islam

The opinions of most Islamic scholars, based on the source (Quran and Sunnah):

If your faith with your wife was Christian and you both converted to Islam, then your marriage is valid and the children are born in the marriage (legal), the marriage is recognized, and there is no need to make nicknames again. And if they were ethnic Muslims, it is even more believed that they had Nikah.

Since the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not renew his marriage with Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her) after Islam, and did not require his associates to re-read Nikyakh after the adoption of Islam.

Provision of a wife and child after a divorce

1 - Divorced by a non-final divorce with the right to return her, material security and housing are supposed, and it is the husband’s responsibility until the deadline for divorce (’idda) expires, according to the Almighty:

يَا أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ إِذَا طَلَّقْتُمُ النِّسَاء فَطَلِّقُوهُنَّ لِعِدَّتِهِنَّ وَأَحْصُوا الْعِدَّةَ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ رَبَّكُمْ لاَ تُخْرِجُوهُنَّ مِن بُيُوتِهِنَّ وَ لاَ يَخْرُجْنَ

“O Prophet! When you give your wives a divorce, you get divorced within the prescribed period, keep track of this period and fear Allah, your Lord. Do not drive them out of their houses, and let them not go out of them ”(65: 1).

أَسْكِنُوهُنَّ مِنْ حَيْثُ سَكَنتُم مِّن وُجْدِكُمْ وَ لاَ تُضَارُّوهُنَّ لِتُضَيِّقُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ

« Settle them where you live yourself - according to your abundance. Do not harm them, wanting to constrain them"(65: 6).

2 - Divorced by a final divorce, neither material support nor housing is relied on. The reason for this is the decision of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when Fatima bint Kays (may Allah be pleased with her) turned to him after her husband divorced her by a final divorce, asking whether she relies on him for what, what the prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “ You are not entitled to upkeep or housing. "Muslim 1480. The version cited by Abu Dawood states:" You are not entitled to content unless you are pregnant Sahih Abu Dawood 2/433.

3 - A pregnant divorced woman, even if she is divorced by a final divorce, according to the unanimous opinion of scientists, relies on maintenance and housing until she gives birth. Proof of the word of the Almighty:

أَسْكِنُوهُنَّ مِنْ حَيْثُ سَكَنتُم مِّن وُجْدِكُمْ وَ لا تُضَارُّوهُنَّ لِتُضَيِّقُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ وَإِن كُنَّ أُولاَتِ حَمْلٍ فَأَنفِقُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ حَتَّى يَضَعْنَ حَمْلَهُنَّ

“Settle them where you live yourself - according to your abundance. Do not harm them, wanting to constrain them. If they are pregnant, keep them until they are relieved of the burden ”(65: 6).

4 - The obligation to bear the costs of the children lies with their father, regardless of whether they are married or divorced, whether she is rich or poor. A woman is not obligated to bear the costs of them, with their living father. And in this matter all scientists agree.

Ibn Qudam (may Allah have mercy on him) in al-Mughni 8 / 169-170 conveyed the words of Ibn Munzir (may Allah have mercy on him): “ All knowledge holders from whom we adopted knowledge unanimously agreed that a man must support children who do not have their own property».

5 - If, after the divorce, the children are in the care and upbringing of the mother, then she may demand from the ex-husband a fee for the care and upbringing of the children. See Mausu’a al-fiqhiya 17/311, and Sharh Muntaha al-Iradat 3/249.

6 - If a woman breast-feeds a child, then she has the right to demand a payment from her ex-husband for this, in accordance with the words of the Almighty:

فَإِنْ أَرْضَعْنَ لَكُمْ فَآتُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ وَأْتَمِرُوا بَيْنَكُمْ بِمَعْرُوفٍ

« If they are breastfeeding for you, then pay them a reward and consult among themselves in a good way"(65: 6).

In this verse, divorced women are meant.

This opinion was Abu Hanifa (may Allah have mercy on him), this same opinion is the most common and well-known in the madhhab of Imam Ahmad (may Allah have mercy on him). Sheikh al-Islam ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) gave preference to this opinion, see al-Ihtiyrat 412-413, and among modern scholars this opinion was held by Sheikh Ibn 'Usaymin (may Allah have mercy on him), see Al-Sharh al-Mumti '13 / 515-516. See also al-Mugni 11/431 and al-Fatahua al-Kubra 3/347.

7 - The material support includes: housing, food and drink, clothing, training, and other things that children will need.

8 - The amount of material support, as well as fees for breastfeeding, and fees for the care and upbringing of children, is determined by the customs of their locality and time. Moreover, given the condition and position of the ex-husband, in accordance with the words of the Almighty:

لِيُنْفِقْ ذُو سَعَةٍ مِنْ سَعَتِهِ وَمَنْ قُدِرَ عَلَيْهِ رِزْقُهُ فَلْيُنْفِقْ مِمَّا آتَاهُ اللَّهُ لا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلا مَا آتَاهَا سَيَجْعَلُ اللَّهُ بَعْدَ عُسْرٍ يُسْرًا

“Let the possessor spend according to his wealth. And the one who is constrained in means, let him spend out of what Allah endowed him with. Allah does not impose on man beyond what He has bestowed upon him. After hardship, Allah creates relief ”(65: 7).

The rich must bear material costs in accordance with his position and condition. Having an average income, in accordance with his position, is also poor. Or, the parents themselves can agree on a certain fee, small or large. If the parents cannot reach a mutual agreement regarding the size, then the amount of material costs for the child should be determined by the Sharia judge.

But still, it is better for them to come to a mutual agreement and assign a certain amount that will allow them to live without the need of the child and his caregiving mother.

The yellow press loves to scare Russian women with Muslim men. The articles of "expert experts" are just a compendium consisting of all kinds of horrors. To read them - one would think that Muslim men, especially Eastern men, are all notorious sadists, liars, and bastards. They will certainly captivate with a string of cleverly woven pathos and sweet words, and then they will be locked in four walls, wrapped in a stuffy niqab, humiliating, beating, kicking, lashing, and after dousing with acid and chopping with an ax, they will burn the bodies of their wives and scatter them over the sea, thereby making serious ratings for eagerly eerie TV. Or, at worst, after a long course of lashing, they will put out of the house what is there with the word "talak", they will take away the children, will be expelled from the country and will tell everyone about Russian charmats. An indignant howl of invited grannies and moaning pop stars in the studio are provided.

It cannot be argued that some marriages of women with Eastern Muslim Muslim men do turn out to be extremely unsuccessful and end in divorce, separation of children (and most often in the father’s favor), expulsion from the country and other unpleasant things.

However, we have already touched on this topic before. As they said that Muslim men are different and that you need to choose a person by yourself, having first understood what he is and whether you are ready to accept his lifestyle, share his goals, ideals, traditions and destiny. Among the eastern men there are wonderful people: strong, smart, caring, fair. A special type, so to speak.

Nevertheless, these men will never forgive their women some things that, alas, are often characteristic of our generally good girls simply because of the vicious system of matriarchal education, instilling narrow-minded and non-feminine models of behavior based on an unconscious desire to humiliate a man and drive him under the heel.

So, what will an oriental Muslim man never tolerate, even if he is at least three hundred times intellectually advanced, educated, kind and affectionate?

First: hints of infidelity and games behind

The line between the sexes in our society has been completely erased. You can kiss a good friend without a second thought on the cheek goodbye; in joint dances languidly cling to a completely alien man; being married or in a relationship and not intending to change, you can dance relaxedly, wear immodest clothes and catch enthusiastic glances on yourself. And in all this very often there will be no hint of a definite sexual continuation. Although, of course, nature is nature, and often it still takes place - usually spontaneous. Because the line between simple sweet friendship and suddenly embraced attraction, non-binding flirting and unexpected sex has been very thin, especially when incentive factors come into play: alcohol, fiery dance rhythms, free and relaxed atmosphere of a night club or party.

In the Islamic world, this is a completely different attitude. There are certain boundaries of communication between a man and a woman, clearly separating his man from someone else's.

In the book “The Person of the Prophet of Islam,” Hussein Sayyidi gives a hadith: "The best woman among you is the one who, when she is alone with her husband, completely takes off clothes of oppression from her body."

Imam Muhammad al-Bakir (‘a) said: “The best of your women is the one who casts off the shield of modesty when she exposes herself to her husband, and closes herself with the shield of modesty by dressing again.”

And if everything is possible with your man, any flirting is allowed, any seductive clothes (or lack thereof), any affection, then you can’t do anything with a stranger, including taking his hand. And an excuse like “this is just my colleague Pyotr Ivanovich, yes say hello to the hand - just a tribute to etiquette” and “yes this is my former classmate Vasya, I have known him for a hundred years and we haven't seen each other for so long,” he said. will not understand. What does it mean to just sit in a cafe? What kind of friend is this? What kind of friendship is this when there is a husband? Moreover, it is not necessary that a Muslim man arrange violent scenes of jealousy or categorically forbid such gatherings (although, most likely, this will be the case) - no, some outwardly restrained Persian may be silent for the first time, but he’s like “just sitting in a cafe "Very, very not like it. He will regard this as disrespect for himself. And not now, so then this woman will come around - lead to a break in relations.

This applies to the “innocent” forms of communication with childhood friends, former classmates and cheerful colleagues. There is no question of treason. It is clear that he will never forgive this. In Islam, a man has a lot of functions for caring for a woman: to provide, protect, protect, show tenderness and love. A man takes on the main blows of the outside world, whether in war or peace. He has the right to expect that the woman in whom he puts his soul, time and money, will be faithful to him and that her children are definitely from him. By the way, in return Sharia gives him great opportunities in terms of maneuver in his personal life, and this is all as compensation for a life full of stress and responsibility, and for the sake of arranging the fate and welfare of more women. This is an Islamic approach, and you are free to disagree with it if you do not profess Islam. “There is no compulsion in religion ...” (K, 2: 256).But convinced Muslims look at the question in this way, and we are now talking about gender roles precisely from the point of view of Islam.

Second: disrespect for oneself

Imam Jafar al-Sadiq (‘a) said: “Be thrice damned a woman who upsets her husband and causes him trouble. And three times blessed is she who respects her husband, does not annoy him, and in any circumstances obeys his will. ”

Unfortunately, respect for the father as the head of the family has disappeared from many families. Partly because not all modern men fully manifest themselves as such: they do not care about family members, make firm decisions, and do not take responsibility. An amorphous something, weak-willed and soft-bodied, mumbled with something inarticulate, lacking serious work, no clear convictions, no decent work of life, cutting into tanks at leisure and afraid to go out to the supermarket for bread in the evening, it’s difficult to respect and recognize authority as all wish. Hedgehogs, of course, choked, but ate a cactus, however, in this case, the needles are so long and sharp that, injecting nose to blood, the hedgehog finishes this event, even without really starting it. It is impossible to respect an amorphous effeminate something. But, unfortunately, the overwhelming majority of “sons” were made soft-willed by strong-willed and dominant mothers. Simply put, women themselves made efforts to make brave and fair men less. Nevertheless, they are among the Russians, and among the eastern. Our women often reach out to them, for Russians are in short supply, in principle, not to mention the best part of them. And when a woman who dreamed of a strong shoulder really gets it, she often begins to cry that she is being “built”, suppressed and limited.

Our women are used to showing self-will from the principle. I was told the story of one short-lived marriage and a hasty divorce. A pleasant in all respects, an Arab man married a bright, beautiful and unwilling Russian woman to accept Islam. The man didn’t press, because “there is no compulsion in religion,” but there is a provision in Sharia that even a Muslim wife should not be allowed to drink alcohol and eat pork. And so they went to some kind of event - either a wedding, or a feast for friends. There they scandalized because of alcohol. The woman poured herself a glass of wine. The husband categorically opposed (it is clear that a Muslim, ideally, should not be present at alcoholic parties in principle, but in Russia, sometimes situations are forced). And she said: "No, I will drink." He retorted, "If you drink, it's all over between us." She insisted: "No, I want wine." She apparently did not believe that this would kill their marriage, and went on principle to show: I am a free woman and not subject to dictatorship. But he also went on the principle, demonstrating in response: I am a strong man and demanding respect from myself. In the end, he went home, slamming the door, and after that they immediately got divorced. Now this man has long been married to another Russian, and I don’t know what happened to his ex-wife. Maybe she arranged her life with a more pliable character, or maybe she proudly joined the ranks of "strong and independent women."

If you want to build a harmonious relationship with an oriental Muslim man, do not. If you don’t like some prohibitions and demands from him, act not brute force and ahead, but flexibly and cunningly. Even if you want to challenge some of his decision, in any case the most important thing is to show your respect. Insulting, humiliating is categorically excluded. He forbids something because in his society it is not accepted. Sometimes this may seem wild and absurd, including from the point of view of Islam. But he can forbid something simply because he is worried about you, wants to protect and protect him from the bad. And here it is necessary to show understanding or gently convey to him the thought that his fears are superfluous. Of course, when it comes to a permitted case. For example, about an independent trip to another city to a family or friend.

Naturally, I’m not talking about more odious options when a woman, out of a bad habit, screams a little, showering her husband with insults a la “idiot”, “freak”, “cattle”, “shut up”, “let you go,” “ I spat on you ”, etc. People who respect themselves first of all do not stoop to such forms of communication with relatives in principle. If a woman is convinced that her husband is a freak and an idiot, then she herself is an ugly person and an idiot, because like, as a rule, is connected with like. The antipodes that converge by mistake run away within a few months, and if you live under the same roof for years, you are two boots of steam. Axiom. So why blame the mirror? Rhetorical question.

Third: unbridled and inadequate jealousy

A Muslim man will not understand and will not forgive all these “cute” habits of getting into someone else’s phone and mail, inspecting SMS, trying to find out where he was. I’ll clarify: both a serious oriental man and a Russian engaged in business will not understand and forgive. Alas, all these destructive matriarchal habits seep into some countries of the Islamic world. Already in some of them, her husband’s late for dinner for half an hour is a crime and an excuse to humiliate oneself. But if a woman wants to see next to her not a creature driven under her heel, but a strong patronizing male, such habits in family life have no place. A husband is a leader. By the way, it doesn’t matter whether he is Muslim or not, a foreigner or ours, an oriental man or a Russian. This is a universal rule. And if a man is busy with a serious business, you do not need to call him every half hour, reading out any crap from women's magazines and asking what he thinks about the sharp collisions of some series.

Two cases come to mind in this regard, and both were inspired by such an annoying attribute of Moscow life as a long traffic jam. In one of these traffic jams, a Russian girl, a bus passenger, terrorized by telephone her Russian boyfriend (or husband) about what Zaya was thinking about Victoria Bonnie’s personal life, test questions from a glossy magazine and horoscope. The guy on the other end courageously fought back, letting the virgin of the heart understand that he was never interested in it, but then he began to lose his will to resist, having received a fair amount of hysteria in the receiver that he was inattentive to her, to her life and her interests.

Another case was more pathological. All the same dead traffic jam did not resolve even in the late evening. Exhausted people rode from work. At the window sat an agitated, nerve-wracked young guy whose wife, sawing him on the phone, flatly refused to believe in the version about the cork. He wriggled like a suspect in the investigator’s office, bombarded by her pungent suggestive questions, and tried to cite strong evidence that he was really in a traffic jam, and not with anyone in the cinema. The legitimate arguments did not seem convincing, she fought in a fit of jealousy, and her already tired at work young man, it seemed, had fallen into utter psychosis.

Both episodes from the outside looked wild, stupid, comical, absurd, disgusting. With Muslim men, with some exceptions, such somersaults will not work. At least for a long time.

The Way of Eloquence provides a reliable statement by Imam Ali ibn Abu Talib (‘a): "The jealousy of a woman is unbelief, the jealousy of a man is faith."

We must come to terms with the fact that, firstly, in some areas Sharia gives a man more opportunities, and secondly, he may have some things not related to his personal topic that you, be you three hundred times a lawful wife in no way touch. Especially if your man is in business, politics, or something similar.

Why is that? This is a subject for a long and separate thorough discussion. And he is from the same series as the question why, if a woman paints her lips and eyelashes, polishes her nails, does highlighting, wears skirts and heels, she is a beautiful fairy, and if this is done by a man, he is clearly gay, nasty, cutesy and vile. Why is the first - natural, and the second - obviously unpleasant for people with a healthy understanding of gender roles?

Fourth: groomed

An Eastern Muslim man will not appreciate the habit of walking around the house in a well-worn shabby robe, with dirty hair tied up in tail, in worn slippers and holey socks, or in an unpresentable baggy tracksuit. Unfortunately, many of our beautiful ladies sooner or later begin to cut through the apartment in such a shabby way: well, how about cooking, children, everyday life, there’s no time to wash my hair, for whom it's a marafet, I’m at home. But, going to the street, the woman immediately begins to urgently bring beauty: to build a hairstyle, apply makeup, dress up in high-heeled shoes. And somehow it turns out that this is for myself, for tone, for mood, for increasing self-esteem, but not for my husband. Husband - he seems to be already a piece of furniture, and indeed where to go and who, in fact, is.

Nibbled exfoliating nails of different lengths, untreated feet without pedicures, unkempt eyebrows, glossy or flaky stale skin on the face is also bad form. It is also necessary to maintain a fit figure - not everyone, especially Eastern citizens, love anorexic thin women, but obvious obesity harms not only the appearance, but also health. I am already silent about intimate hygiene: it must be timely, regular and thorough, and regardless of whether proximity is planned or not. When taking care of oneself is a habit, and neglect simply causes physical discomfort, it is easy and pleasant to look after yourself both for the woman and her beautician. Moreover, it is a pleasant and useful form of leisure and relaxation.

The Hadith of the Prophet (c) says: “In order to look desirable in the eyes of her husband, day and night, a woman must use the most fragrant incense, wear the most exquisite jewelry and dress up in the most beautiful clothes.”

There are no restrictions on the choice of clothes and jewelry; it all depends on the taste of both spouses. I must say, in eastern society, in the circle of mahrams (husband, close relatives and other women), women often show immoderation, creating unimaginable hairstyles on their heads, hanging themselves with gold and jewelry and applying tons of makeup to the face, but thereby they are more dusty in the eyes to each other, because it is not always like the men themselves.

Moreover, one must also show taste and moderation in this, not without reason there is another hadith, also quoted by Hussein Sayyidi in the book “The Person of the Prophet of Islam”:

“You saw a great confusion, and you suffered it, but I am warning you from another, more cruel confusion regarding you that comes from women when they put gold bracelets on their hands and luxurious dresses on their bodies when their wealthy [ husbands] are plunged into difficulties [for the sake of unnecessary things] or poor [husbands] are plunged into difficulties due to the fact that they are not [able to] get them. ”

The content of the article:

A marriage between a Christian and a Muslim is a voluntary union of women and men, professing different faiths and belonging to different cultures, when a hot feeling makes you abandon traditional Christian virtues and accept Muslim values, namely, complete submission to your husband, restriction of rights and freedoms in public life .

Are marriages between representatives of different faiths possible?

To register love relationships between representatives of various religious faiths is allowed in any country. The restrictions apply only to the age at which you can officially marry.

Russia is a multinational state; more than 190 different peoples live in the country. There are over 11 million inhabitants in Moscow, and the Slavic brothers — Russians, Ukrainians, and Belarusians — are a minority here. There are only 4,620,000. The rest are representatives of other nationalities. Let's say there are much more Tatars in the Russian capital than in Kazan.

Currently professing Islam in the Russian Federation more than 20 million, and this number is constantly growing. Over 15 years, their number in the country increased by 40%. If the growth continues to be so rapid, in about forty years every fourth Russian resident will be a Muslim.

The family code of the Russian Federation (Article 156 “Marriage in the Russian Federation”) does not mention any restriction on a national basis when entering into marriage. So a marriage between a Muslim and a Christian is possible quite officially. It is not a curiosity and is quite relevant today.

Many Russians marry Muslims. This is a matter of personal relations, is not regulated by the state. But Christian dogma imposes certain restrictions on such marriages. The apostle Paul also said that “they should not bow down to the yoke of others with unbelievers ...” (II Corinthians 6:14).

But it was said a long time ago. Now the times are completely different. Orthodox and Muslims live side by side in one country. They work, study and often live in the same hostel. Here it’s not up to the dogma of faith. And the question is very intimate, but you can’t order the heart ...

All this is so. Only a girl who married a Muslim can hardly be considered a true Christian. Wore a cross and even went to church on major holidays? So what? Now this is fashionable and does not mean at all that she was a believer, she knew the dogmas of Christian morality well and understood the differences between Christianity (Orthodoxy) and Islam.

And they are big, especially as they relate to the behavior of women in the Muslim community. Today, a Christian and Muslim marriage is possible, but often enlightenment comes "after". And then those who left for their faithful to a Muslim country are eager to go home to mom and dad, and it’s good if they return without serious consequences for their health, physically and mentally unstable.

Nevertheless, in spite of this, some girls without any regard will “marry” the faithful, leave their country and leave with their husbands in the promised land - to their homeland.

It's important to know! In Islam, a woman is in a lower position than a man. One of the hadiths (retelling the words of the Prophet) says that “A woman is created from a rib and will never straighten in front of you, and if you want to benefit from it, then let the curvature remain with her. And if you try to straighten it, you will only break it. ”

Why do Christians marry Muslims

The reasons for marriage with a Muslim are many. Home, which is given in justification for such an act that a great feeling makes you get married. And with darling, as you know, in a hut paradise. It is useless to indicate to a foolish heart, but the rational should listen to the arguments of the elders or at least ask what awaits a woman of another faith in the house of the Mohammedan.

Among the reasons why marriage between a Muslim and a Christian is possible, the following should be mentioned:

Love. In youth, all are maximalists. And if a flashed feeling for a handsome brunette with a burning irresistible gaze is first love? It makes you crazy. Behind him, even to the ends of the world! The maiden agrees to become his slave and wash his feet, if only he would not give up. There are such simpletons by nature, they easily switch to a different faith and, without unnecessary emotions, adapt to Muslim customs that are unacceptable to most Orthodox women.
Unexpected pregnancy. Suppose they are students, often found in addition to studying at companies. A fun student feast ended in a casual relationship. She became pregnant and wants to solve all her problems by marriage. And it can be complaints of parents, “crooked” smiles of friends and acquaintances. He is quite attractive, and he has plenty of money, because he came to study in another country. So marrying him is not a bad option. And that he is a Muslim and how life will develop in the future, the girl does not think much. Such a marriage is short-lived, in the future it can cause her big trouble.
The desire to move to another country. He is from another world. And there everything is fabulous, besides rich, does not skimp on expensive gifts. And here is such a prose of life, parents give very little money for study. And I want to not only eat well, but also look beautiful. It makes no difference that he is a Muslim, their customs are strict, but fair. And so loves me. I’ll leave with him and I will live well!
Loneliness. The woman was already married. The husband, for example, was very drunk and even beaten. Hopeless, boring vegetation. I had to get a divorce. And then an oriental handsome man with money. And how he cares, gives such gifts ... He promises to take with him, for example, to Turkey. Life is one, but you want to live so beautifully.
Business. He comes, for example, from Turkey. He has his own profitable business here. She works in his company. Warm relationships grew into a love affair. They began to live together, over time, the woman converted to Islam and left for her husband’s country.
The appeal of Islam. Now there are many divorced Islamist preachers, it is easy to access them on the Internet. They convincingly talk about the benefits of their religion. Brand the vices of Christian society. For example, gay marriage, which is prohibited in Muslim countries on pain of death. Many girls (guys) succumb to this propaganda and adopt a new faith. What this can lead to, a vivid example of this is the sad fate of Moscow student Varvara Karaulova. She went to Turkey and tried to illegally cross the Turkish-Syrian border to join the ranks of the Islamic State, the Islamic State terrorist organization banned in Russia.

It's important to know! There will always be women seeking to marry a Muslim. In the end, it is a personal choice. And it is not always fatal. However, the decision must be made conscious so that later it will not be “excruciatingly painful” for the mistake made, if it does happen.

Features of Muslim marriage

The marriage of a Muslim and a Christian should be viewed through the prism of Islamic law, enshrined in adat and Sharia. Adat is an ancient customs that the faithful must strictly follow in their lives. And Sharia is the “right way” given to people by the Prophet Muhammad.

Islam claims that a woman should be an outstanding person. For example, Khadija, the first wife of the prophet Muhammad, was engaged in trade and herself invited him to marry her. Aisha, his second wife, left a lot of Hasidim about the Prophet - information about his personal life. Muhammad respected his many wives, telling his followers that "You have rights over your women, and your women have rights over you."

But the Prophet also has other words that “Most of those who fall into the fire of hell will be women.” Such a contradictory opinion of Muhammad about the female gender has in fact resulted in a severe restriction of the rights of Muslim women.

For example, in Saudi Arabia, women are virtually forbidden to travel by public transport, all parts of the body must be closed. For disobedience can be put in jail. And if you got in jail, then no parole, unlike men.

Therefore, a Slavic girl should think seven times before deciding to marry a Muslim. Will she be able to endure all the restrictions that the life of a Muslim woman will impose on her if she has to leave for her husband’s homeland? After all, there will have to change their faith.

Great love is no excuse for a rash decision. Your feelings should be verified by the mind. Passion can go away, but it is extremely difficult to rewrite a broken fate anew.

Life in a Muslim family has its own nuances that a girl who wants to combine her destiny with a Muslim just needs to know. She must understand that Islamic traditions regarding family relationships are holy and unshakable. For example, without the permission of her husband, she should not spend money, cannot leave home without male escort for a period of more than 3 days. Otherwise it will be considered incorrect. This is already being punished.

The main features of Muslim marriage:

The husband is the main in the family. It is impossible to disobey, his word is rigorous to fulfillment. He can heed the opinion of his wife, but the decision is his. His man should be appeased in everything and always, even in sex. Refusing it without a serious reason (this may be, say, a period of menstruation) is considered a serious fault.
Household. The wife is obliged to conduct all household chores around the house under the supervision of a mother-in-law. And scrupulously carry out all her instructions. She is the eldest among women in the family. She does not have the right to talk to her of her own free will, only when she herself speaks to her.
Work permit. He must be asked from her husband, he can give, but this does not exempt from the household. Muslim women can work only as doctors, nurses, teachers, other professions are forbidden to them.
A woman has no right to talk with strangers. For disobedience is a severe punishment, they can be accused of prostitution.
Wearing hijab. This is dark clothing that hides the body from prying eyes. What kind of multi-colored dresses, so beloved by youth. Even decorations cannot be seen by outsiders. Everything is only for the husband.
Do not leave the house. Only with the consent of his faithful, without his escort or relative, you can not visit, say, acquaintances.
May be more than one wife. I came to his homeland, and at his place, it turns out, three more wives. Muslim law permits polygamy. Nowhere to go, have to put up with it.
Punishment. The husband can punish if the wife stubbornly does not want to obey him. But the beat is not allowed. If she can prove cases of physical abuse, she can achieve a divorce. However, in this case, it is very unlikely that a Christian wife will take her children with her. The law is on the father’s side.
Restrictions on attending sporting events. Due to the fact that there will be involuntary communication with strangers, and this is categorically not allowed.
You can not drive a car. Accordingly, a ban on obtaining a driver’s license. In Saudi Arabia, a female motorist is a great sin.
Internet restriction. The aspirant to marry a Muslim should know that in Muslim countries he is under strict control. Let's say there is a ban on social networks, dating sites, others. The greatest restrictions exist in Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, Jordan, Iran. Those who trample Islamic values \u200b\u200bon the Internet can go to jail.

It's important to know! The Islamic theologian al-Ghazali has a saying: "Of the 1000 virtues, only one refers to women, the remaining 999 to men." Before a Christian woman marries a Muslim, one should well weigh all the pros and cons of such a union. In order not to bitterly repent later and not bite your elbows.

Consequences of Christian and Muslim Marriages

Actually, all the features of an Orthodox Christian and Muslim marriage can be consequences. Happy or sad if the marriage decision was made hastily.

It is highly likely that he will be prosperous when the husband remained in his wife’s homeland and even converted to her faith. And if they are both unbelievers, it is possible that they will simply live happily without burdening themselves with the religious dogmas of Christianity (Orthodoxy or Catholicism) and Mohammedanism.

In her husband’s homeland, if she decided to leave with him, the family can also be happy. And here a lot depends on the country where you left, and the person of the missus. Will he be able to provide his wife with the usual living conditions in a state completely unfamiliar to her. An important role, as her new family will accept a stranger.

The warehouse of her character also determines the fate of the future. How will she react to a new life unusual for herself, whether she will put up with her or resist the harsh life situation.

A true Christian is unlikely to decide to marry a Muslim, even a great love is not a reason to abandon the faith of her ancestors. And if this still happened, such an apostate departs from Christian morality, loses himself in God. He turns away from her, the realization of this will torment her soul for the rest of her life.

It’s not easy to turn yourself over to a person who is used to living freely, without taboos that are wild in the 21st century. And there are many of these in Islam for men, and even more for women. For example, the Islamic preacher Abu Isa at-Tirmizi, who lived in the 9th century, said: "If a woman is naughty or immodest, her husband has the right to beat her, but not break bones." He believed that if a husband wants intimacy with his wife, she should unconditionally obey, "even if she bakes bread by the oven," since she "does not have power over her body, even her milk belongs to her husband."

Shariah speaks of women's inequality. For example, in court, the testimony of two women is equal to the testimony of one man. A Muslim can cheat on his wife, and interestingly, he can enter into short-term marriages from one hour to a year. In fact, this is a resolution of prostitution.

And God forbid his wife to look at someone else's man or she will be convicted of adultery. This can end very sadly, for example, can be stoned. Such punishment is not practiced in all Muslim countries, but in Somalia in 2008 there was a case when a teenage girl was beaten only on the grounds that she was allegedly raped by three men. The Islamist authorities regarded it so that it provoked them to violence.

The Orthodox must know about such and many other consequences of a marriage with a Muslim before deciding whether to marry a Mohammedan. So that later all the severe restrictions on the rights and freedoms of women reigning in Muslim society, were not a heavy duty for her. If this does not stop - love is above all, then good luck.

But most often, women have a very vague idea of \u200b\u200bthe consequences of a marriage with a Muslim. In the Soviet Union, there were cases when a girl married a guy from Central Asia. Suppose he served where she lived. The soldier seemed a sweet and reliable person, and upon arrival with his young wife to his home he suddenly turned out to be a despot. His relatives did not want to recognize her either. And this was becoming a big tragedy for a woman.

Today, a Muslim often takes his girlfriend to his country. All roots with relatives break off. And what can happen to her in a foreign land, if life did not work out, it's hard to speak. A lot of ordeals fall on the lot of the unfortunate, and it is good if they manage to return to their homeland. And someone resigned to his share. But such a fate can hardly be called happy.

In our turbulent times, it is especially dangerous that among young Muslims preachers appeared who paint the delights of Islam to the Slavs and even marry them. But in fact, women are recruited into the ranks of various terrorist groups banned in Russia. And this is the most terrible side of marital unions with Muslims. It happens that such women become suicide bombers.

Watch a video about the marriage of a Christian and a Muslim:

A marriage between a Christian and a Muslim is a very serious step. There are many “whirlpools” that are invisible to an inexperienced eye, in which you can wrap yourself, get confused. First of all, this concerns women who decided to connect their fate with a native of a Muslim country. Feeling is good. But a wise decision is better! If a girl does not value her personal freedom and is ready for self-sacrifice in the name of love, then she will have a flag in her hands! But unfortunately, sad stories often happen in life, when a rash act can prettyly ruin your life. And not only spoil, sometimes it can be lost.